I truly enjoyed your poem as it held a depth of feeling upon a loss. I think you could have started a few sentences with omitting the word "and". That word seemed to come up too frquently and kind of made me lose the flow of the poem. But in general the poem was beautiful!
I liked this letter and the subject. The only thing I really noticed with it is you didn't capitilize your I"s and that caught me off guard. Otherwise it was quite good.
What can I say to improve on your poem! Nothing! I loved it and it took me through the heartbreak of making wrong choices! Keep up the writing You do an excellent job of describing the pain and it haunts me as I read it. I read it through twice just to enjoy it!
I really enjoyed your poem and I liked the subject you wrote on. A word that was spelled wrong (mouthes) caught my attention and the flow was a little off after the 1st paragraph. But that first paragraph just sails right along so smooth. Maybe if you omit some of the extra words in the other paragraphs? try it and see.
I highly enjoyed your poem! I love the subject itself! The only problem I could tell was you had some extra words that could have been omitted. To help with the flow. I tried your poem this way and it sounded good to me. In the first paragraph ( 2nd sentence) leave out the first word 'and". In the second paragragh ( 1st line) just omit the word "now" starting off. You did such an excellent job on it and I look forward to reading more of your work!
I just loved this story! Normally I get bored upon reading short stories but this one had me bewitched from beginning to the end! It was told well and the descriptions put me right in the scenes as they were told sentence by sentence. You did an excellent job as far as I'm concerned and I'm looking forward to reading more from you!
That was different and I liked the different questions. Some of them wern't the normal dull ones! For intance the one " why should I tell you?" That was funny but honest!
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