That was darn good for being in the fifth grade! I wrote back then but never saved it. I used to have a diary that I hid in the attic then when I got married and my family moved it got left. But then they tore the house down so I have no idea where it is now.
Blessings Leila
Hey Chuck, can I be your sponsor and mentor on this site? I would consider it an honour!
It looks as if I'm amost doing a port raid on your portfolio! Oh! Well! It has me interested enough to read onand that is what a good writer is supposed to do, right? I really honestly believe that you are destined to become a great writer you just don't realize it yet! Blessings Leila
Stephen, Now this is one awesome article! It depicts exactly what I was lookingfor in the title! You are an awesome writer with deep feelings! You may not be able to play and sing anymore but you can hear! Please think on that part and know that you are still blessed! Leila
This was very good and very graphic. You have a way of describing things that show your a good writer! Keep up your writings and you'll go far. I expect to see a book on poetry eventually in the future! Come sail with us in this group and you'll meet other writers.
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Now you have it! The point 5 in big bold letters! hooray! I do agree with you on your subject, it is very defeating to have someone check your work over, say they loved it and end up with a low score! i often wonder and have been tempted to ask. But I'll go ahead and wonder....
I liked the poem each time I read it. I read it over three times to get the full affect of it. Its very good and the flow of words just sails right along. I especially like where you aid, " and the moom and sun both give us light". That sentence just jumped out at me.
Another great song that I really enjoy! It flows along so nicely and has a lot of merit! The decription and beat I can put music too, of which I did I might add< and its good. You have a talent so keep writing and someday I'll hear this on the radio!
This is a very good poem talking about second chances. Though I have found out in life sometimes foster care can hurt and maim a person just as much as the parents. Its hard at times to know which is the worst, I think there are bad parents and bad foster parents also.
I almost fell over when I saw the black suitcase! wOW! pLUS YOU WROTE SOMETHING! tHIS eASTER WILL BE IN OUR MEMORIES A LONG LONG TIME! hA!
sO YOUR A TWIN ALSO? wE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON! eVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS MYTWIN IS THE THE WILD SIDE OF ME! hA! bUT TRUTH TO TELL i AM THE QUIETER ONE. oPPS MY CAPS LOCK CAME UP AND i'M TOO LAZY TO FIX IT! i LIKED YOUR WTITING MY FRIEND. yOU HAVE YOOUR OWN STYLE. WRITE BACK SOON LEILA
I'm shouting! I'm shouting! If you need a friend on here I can help! I think! Ha! I like your approach to things! Just right off the cuff. Keep writing my friend and thank-you for the kind reveiw on my poem, " bones".
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Meg! I love your picture with the sunburned face! Ouch! I bet that was sore!
When I sent my newsletter out I hadn't seen your picture on the ship yet! Sorry! I'll starighten up! Now I need to figure out how to add mine! Any ideas? Hugs Leila
This poem took some getting used to with all the big words. I read it over three times to get the feel of it and finally come up with my answer to it. Its a fight agaisn't what we are doing and have done, I think. Either way you have a very discriptive way with words and how to bring them together! Write on and I will follow!
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I'm usually not into this type of book but after the first paragraph it started holding my attention, which is saying something! Now I'm anxious to follow up on what happens with this guy so you could say your writing achieved its purpose. Especially when like I dais, I usually don't go for this type.
This poem has a good basis to build on but I think it needs a little more. Kind of longer. You have did a good job with it as far as what you want to say but maybe a little more structure. For instance how about instead og going from two lines making it 3 or 4 lines each stanza?
This poem will be good, but it needs structure. The subject is a good one and I can feel your pain. That type of writing makes for a good author! I expect to see more of your work in the future. Keep writing and correcting what you need to, the end result will be worth it!
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This was really good just quite a tongue twister! At least for me it was! But you did well with you word usage and it made sense. I think you need to put it under poem instead of other though. Keep up with your writing and I'll review more of your writings in the future.
This was very good and the only thing I noticed not in the flow is the last part. It kind of gets smaller and fades out. I think this item could go far with a little more structure in it. But keep writing and I'm sure you will come out ahead in it. I look forward to reading more of your work!
That was a good poem. I liked where you started out kind of down and moved to the positive factor going right on with the flow. The second to the last stanza held me spellbound. That was just so beautiful. I can see you later in life living that verse.
This poem here I really enjoyed. It is said simply and, easy to understand. I think you have a great feel for words so I look forward to reading more of your work. Your pain can be felt in this poem which is what makes a great writer. If you would like I could mentor you and rate and review some of your poems, do a port raid etc. until you feel comfortable on the site. Just let me know.
This is great writing and it will go far. You need to shorten the sentences up and the word "sacrificing" neeeds to be redid. I spelled it right in my sentence but, you had it spelled "sacrafricing". Just change those few issues and it should then be rated a five.
This is really a fantastic story and I can hardly wait to see it in print plus it teaches a very valuable lesson to children! The only thing is you need to correct some grammar mistakes that show up. Plus in the first part of the story it needs a little more detail. Please do correct it and make it a prize book. It will go far in print.
I myself, think this is a very moving poem with heartfelthonesty and love shining through! I loved reading it and really have no corrections to make concerning this piece of work. Write on and keep themcoming! I will be reading and rating them as I can.
I likedthe basis for this poem but I think it needs to be pulled together a little more. Toward the end it kind of rambled and I lost my train of thought. The flow wasn't there. I know it has a lot of potential so keep up your writing and I'll check out a few more in your port.
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