I knew it was you right when I read it. I think if you had written this with more detail and emotion it could have been better. I encourage you to write your short story not about hunting. I know it's easier because it's what you know best but surprise us by thinking outside of the box. I know you probably won't take my advice but you should consider what I said.
I really liked the dialogue in this and how obsessed the men were with Courtney. I was kind of confused about the "I choose me." but other than that I really enjoyed this. It was quite amusing.
That would be really really embarrassing. I really loved the imagery in this and how it was really short but got the point across. This story was hilarious. Too bad you aren't a professional writer, then you could get that money for that fancy shmancy racquet.
Aw. How sweet. It was very nice of the main character to be nice and not be mean to the little girl for spilling juice on her baby blanket. I love how she gave it to the little girl too.
Oh geez, it just got real. I haven't seen a ton of episodes but I've seen enough to know all of the characters and such. I liked how you kept their personalities some except I can't imagine Eric hooking up with Jackie. Overall I liked the story. Good job.
This was hilarious. I'm assuming that Marlene put the fake head there and I really liked the plot line. I also can imagine Marlene being sarcastic or sassy when she said that last like. Good job.
This was really sweet and sorrowful. I thought it was really well written and something I've never read before. The word choices were very good. I really liked "stark, white pillow." Great job overall.
Oh, I love this poem. I love poetry and this is amazing. The rhyming is present but subtle and I really like that element of poetry. It flows very well and I love how it's the same amount of syllables each line. The word choices are fantastic. I have absolutely no complaints for this.
When I first saw this poem and how short it was I was thinking that it wasn't going to be very good but it completely blew me away. It had so much mystery and I love how you used your wording. It could be a little child finger painting or a grown woman that is a criminal. That's how I interpreted it. I really liked this.
This poem made me tear up a little. I'm not depressed but when I see poetry or stories or listen to songs about depression I get a little emotional. This poem was very well written and it had a lot of emotion. It being italicized also really helped while reading because it was fancy. Terrific job.
I enjoyed this short story. My favorite part would have to be when Jen said, "Well, put it this way Alicia, the only piece of equipment that would enhance what he keeps in his boxer shorts would be a magnifying glass. Trust me love, you’d get more satisfaction cleaning your oven." I loved all of the different people in the bar and Jen's descriptions of them. I love characters with a lot of quirks. Great job!
I really liked your word choices and the way to took a leap for this style. There were a few words I didn't know and some of the parts were hard to understand but after reading it more than once I really liked it. I really feel the emotion of this story as I read it. Keep up the good work!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/adelion22
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.29 seconds at 12:42am on May 03, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
