Oh My Goodness! What a predicament the poor chap has got himself into.
I should be distressed but I can't help but have a laugh at the sad situation.
You have done very well painting this vivid picture in my mind and the flow is smooth making for enjoyable reading without having to re-read a line to get the phrasing correct.
Great piece of poetry, Gigie. I enjoyed it very much.
Cheers Meg.
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The turn of a phrase in this ditty of yours
Has made my face blush and go red.
But I'd never suggest more suitable words
To replace any words that you've said!
Your poem from Chile 'bout a toothless old hag
and her well trained apprentice is smart.
The rhyming is sweet and the rhythm is neat
But that chilli from Chile made me reach for the antacid!
You never cease to amaze me with your wonderful sense of humour and your way with words.
Well done, Gigie.
Cheers Meg.
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Poor Frank! He does get such bad publicity and no one ever stops to think that he too has feelings!
I just love this take on a Halloween scary icon.
Your rhyming and rhythm here gives the poem a real story-book feel to the piece. That's just what poetry is for...to tell us a story in rhyme.
Well done my friend. I will never be scared of Frank again, I just feel so sorry for him and his sad lot in life.
Cheers Meg.
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Laugh time, Gigie! LOL!
Those once a year decorations must get up to all sorts of tricks over the twelve months they are packed away.
( Maybe that would be a theme for a poem? What does the Angel do all year till she is brought out again to top the tree? She looked fine when we packed her away last year!)
Back to your masterpiece...I love the rollicking flow of this poem that suits the humourous content. All of the trials and tribulations of getting a tree ready for Christmas are detailed here with a wonderful air of "might not be new decorations but they are our memories of Christmasses past".
And yes, this is always an excuse to reach for the "Vodka, beer and rum".
Thanks for the cheery smile you put on my face reading this.
Cheers Meg.
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A wonderful wander down memory lane
From those days when a mother was rarely sane,
To wishing she could recapture them again
If only for a moment, through her mind's window pane.
I love the format of this poem with a thought placed between each stanza. It has the effect of pages turning through the years as they pass by. Just a great idea!
(In the 4th stanza, it appears your "buses" has picked up an extra "s" as a passenger).
Most enjoyable, Gigie, as your writing always is.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Gigie,
Thank you so much for bidding on my package in the "Windows to our Soul" Auction.
This poem is a vivid description of a rebirth, an awakening, of the spirit that lives within our hearts and souls.
Many may be given the signs of a spirit guide to lead them, but either fear or ignorance prevents them from opening their minds to accept the offer.
Whether readers believe in the power of a spirit guide or not is immaterial. Your views and experiences detailed in this piece show that the door which has been opened to you by your acceptance of your Totem Wolf has enriched your life.
A very touching and enlightening read.
Love Meg.
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Not quite what I expected and that is the beauty of this 3rd part of the trilogy.
One should never anticipate what is in your head when reading an epic tale such as this.
Well done, my friend.
It was a pleasure to spend this time with you and your writings.
Looking forward to catching up with you again really soon.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Harry,
Miss Molly is a Madam alright with a great head on her shoulders.
This is a terrific follow-up poem for "Big Bad Black Bart".
The storyline is continuous and is really easy to follow the exploits of the characters in this adventure.
I can't wait to get to the next episode and see what unfolds.
Cheers Meg.
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Thanks for sending this trilogy my way, Harry, but I should not have started reading while I was drinking my coffee...I nearly choked laughing!
Great beginning of what promises to be an interesting outcome.
The piece reads so well as a story, though reading it aloud as a poem, I found a few lines were a little full and did not keep up a constant rhythm, if you know what I mean.
I don't like to change what a writer has written, though I would like to suggest a few words be deleted to keep the flow smoother.
2nd stanza:- Figuring using their feet was being smart
One by one the men did quickly depart.
Those drawing the ire of Big Bad Black Bart
would leave dead, riding the undertaker's cart.
4th stanza:-
2nd line, delete just
3rd line, delete he
There are a couple of other places where a word could be cropped, but if the poem is read with less emphasis on the extra word, it reads fine. eg. the final stanza Posse formed, or , leaving the "A posse formed," and cropping the next phrase ...mission clear from the start.
Just a suggestion, Harry to use if you wish.
Cheers Meg.
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Hello again Harry,
This is a very sad poem that tells a tale which would have occurred millions of times over the centuries.
These men are truly the noblest among Mankind.
In the 3rd line of the 3rd stanza, may I suggest Who saw? Who'll remember his fighting skills?
Seems to add more of a pause to reflect than a comma, I feel.
I do acknowledge the truth in your words as my husband told me he thought these very same thoughts when he was wounded in battle.
Fortunately he survived.
This is a tribute to all fighting men and women who give their lives for freedom.
It has been great visiting your port . Thanks for a wonderful evening of reading, Harry.
Cheers Meg.
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Oh Harry! What a find!
An old oaken bucket with a story in each nick and gouge! It is indeed a treasure worthy of admiration.
I love your story and can relate so well to it, as I have found some wonderful treasures at antique shops over the years.
In the 3rd stanza, 1st line, maybe a comma after the word "well" ?
I found myself saying "well placed" and not "well, placed" , and needed to re-read it to get the inference right.
Most enjoyable and interesting. Thank you.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Harry, Bird eating bird seems like brother killing brother
The wars in which mankind engages is a similar tale, I guess. The strong defeating the weaker.
Certainly nature has provided each creature with another living creature for its sustenance and it does seem so cruel, but it is nature.
What is mankind's excuse?
A well written piece about the world around us, its strange customs and natural happenings. There are millions of stories to tell if we just took the time to stop and look at nature at work.
(How are the neighbours' cats?)
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Harry,
A beautiful story told in storeom of an unselfish act being rewarded.
As you mention the date of this event (1933), I am presuming it is a factual account of Hannah's gift.
Such a mature and benevolent act from one so young is amazing to say the least.
Thank you for sharing this story with us.
What a great place this world would be if there were many more Hannahs to set such an example.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Harry,
A pleasure it is to visit you again.
Thank you for bidding on my package in Sherri's New Year Auction.
This is quite an epic feat to find
Enough rhyming words to come to mind
and not repeat yourself in kind.
Quite a saucy story to weave and wind!
I did enjoy this narrative tale not only for it's unique form but also for the content therein.
Even all of the running on lines do not detract from the obvious rhyming scheme.
You have a way with words to please a reader every time.
Great work my friend!
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Fyn,
I am so pleased I came across this piece.
It is a lovely image of a budding cook showing her prowess at making popcorn.
She remembers all the right things to do, even down to putting the bowl in the sink when she is finished (and for good reason at that!)
Quite a few lines had me giggling.
3-5 mins - set the microwave for 8!
Throw away the dead ones. (this is my favourite, I think).
All in all, a terrific poem to top off a wonderful visit to your port.
I shall definitely return to read some more.
If I get busy and it slips my mind, don't hesitate to give me a reminder to come for a visit.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Fyn,
A wee smidgin of Gaelic folklore in this tale of St Brigid. in the 2nd stanza you have spelled it as "Bridgid"
I had not heard of St Brigid before so it was a pleasure to read this poem and then Google St Brigid to get some background on the history of this Nun.
I discovered the reference to "we welcome all the signs of spring" in that St Brigid's feast day is Feb. 1st...the beginning of spring.
The St Brigid cross which adorns this poem has also become a part of my learning lesson for today. Thank you.
A lovely poem and worthy of applause.
Beautifully written with just enough of a hint of Gaelic phrasing to give it style and polish without overdoing it.
Cheers Meg.
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The poem read along at a bouncy pace to suit the mood of the subject. It was so easy to read with no obvious stumblings in the flow. That is how I love to read narrative type pieces.
Your punctuation played a great part in putting emphasis in just the right places! line slash crowd ... very ingenious choice of words! Love it!
Why is it that whichever line you pick, it is always the one that seems to move the slowest?
People will chat about anything and everything while waiting and you are so right...who cares what little Johnny did today!
'Tis embarrassing though when YOU are the cause of the holdup in the queue!
At times like this I always manage to have an item that is not priced or bar-coded. Your embarrassment? Never done that, thankfully. (yet!)
Terrific real life experience. I did enjoy it so much.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Fyn,
I do think alliteration lends a great sense of flow and rhythm to poetry. The two go hand in hand to produce a wonderful effect.
I had never heard the term "alliterisen" so I looked it up.
A very clever form to use and you have done justice to the style here.
Aside from the technical side of poetry forms, your piece has told a story that took me back to medieval times when the women spent their time weaving beautiful tapestries depicting battles in which their men fought and often died.
These seven short lines say so much of the times when Swords shot while women weave.
An impressive piece!
Cheers Meg.
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Hello Fyn,
Thank you for bidding on the package I donated to Sherri's New Year Auction. It is my pleasure to visit your port and review some of your poetry.
I do have a soft spot for tribute poems. They are usually written with emotion and heartfelt honesty and this tribute of yours to your dear friend Glenda is no exception.
Your introduction lines to the piece are brief and concise.
There is no need to dwell on the whys and the tragic details of her suffering. The first two lines are sufficient explanation to anyone reading.
The main body of the poem is then concentrated on the person Glenda was and the brave way she faced her challenge and how you will remember her.
I especially like your turn of phrase "even as it wound down her heart's clock". Explicit...yes, but such a gentle way to put it.
Your memories with her will always be happy ones, and that does ease the sorrow a little.
Thank you for sharing this.
Cheers Meg.
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HI Lou,
Yet another tender loving poem for your darling Emily.
You never get tired of writing them and I never tire of reading of how much you love your little girl.
Whether she is with you at Christmas or not, your hearts are always together.
You are a very fortunate man and she is a very fortunate young lady to have such a wonderful relationship to share and cherish.
Cheers and all the best to you and Emily.
Love Meg.
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Hi Hunter's Moon,
I did enjoy this poem so much.
The content was so typical of a school outing. Why do kids go wild when they are let loose in public? Practical jokes at teacher's expense seem to be mandatory on excursions!
Without actually putting it into explicit words, you have put forward the feeling of excited, fun loving kids and an anxious, frustrated and finally relieved? teacher. Well almost relieved! Where did that extra kid come from???
Just a few suggestions I would like to offer. Use them at your own discretion of course.
2nd stanza, 4th line, I would replace so with then to elimimate repetition.
3rd stanza, 1st line, Even with a comma, two "in's" together is a bit of a stutter.
Maybe We gather in the parking lot and head in - single file. and This keeps them all together, but only for a while.
5th stanza, 1st line, I try a different tack.
7th stanza, 2nd line, Once again I count the kids,
Also I would delete "Oh" from the last line in this stanza.
Thanks for an entertaining piece. I love a poem with a story.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Tinkabell,
Your thoughts for the theme of this poem are wonderful.
A Lady who will show us the right path to follow, to save what we can of the planet we have misused so much.
It would be a great thing for the world to have such a Lady as Dragonblue.
A few spelling mistakes and some typos and apostrophes need attention, and then I think it will be in just about perfect condition.
I shall email you with a few suggestions, then see what you think of them.
Cheers my friend.
Meg.
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Alfred Hitchcock...eat your heart out!
A nightmare like this would turn a person off our fine feathered friends forever!
A well written piece telling a great story which was so very easy to follow and visualise.
When writing a story, it is so easy to fly off on tangents when describing a scene or event.
With poetry, just the right word or phrase can put the reader right there in the picture, as you have done, admirably.
Well done.
ps. Do you eat turkey on Thanksgiving for revenge?
Cheers Meg.
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{c;blue}Poems rhyming at lines' ends
Speak to me as loving friends.
Beating out a pattern clear -
Aah - sweet music to my ear.
They can keep blank verse and prose
I can't connect with all of those.
Give me poems - traditional
They do suit me very well.
"Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble."
So said Shakespeare, that fine bard.
Surely rhyming's not that hard!
Love your opinions on Traditional rhyming poetry, though I must admit, since joining this site, I have come to appreciate some of the other forms of poetry that abound here and do take the time to review it and maybe learn something new in my old age.
As for me personally, I shall stay in my comfort zone of rhythm and rhyme when writing my poems.
Cheers my friend.
Meg.
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Merry Christmas to you and all of your sounds and smells and family.
Christmas does have a special smell about it and you have described but a few of them here and it has brought vivid images to my mind.
Your presentation of red and green
keeps the Christmas feeling keen.
May you Christmas spirit forever live,
(In the 2nd last line gives should be give).
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