Faith can move tall mountains that stand and bar our way,
One simply needs to believe the words they utter when they pray.
The bond one has with God above can make us strong and sure,
The faith we carry in our hearts can open any door.
Yes, your questions have been answered, in your poem which seems to shout
"Is there a way to mend a broken heart, curb fears and doubt?"
The greatest thing I noticed in these words you've written here ~
Your Faith is true, your Faith is strong. Your love of God is clear.
Cheers Meg.
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"Hammered out of critter parts
Others discard as waste"???
Okay, Lou, that in itself is enough to put one off ever eating a Hotdog!
I guess the kids don't really care where they come from as long as they taste good!
Great acrostic from you, as usual.You write them so well.
Cheers Meg.
ps. Love your Handle!
It was a sad day, I remember it well. Whoops, that is really showing my age, isn't it!
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Lulu,
I.
A good intro to the story, setting the scene in my mind's eye. Brief and concise without too much unnecessary descriptive detail.
The atmosphere is set.
Typos I picked up in part I OccassionallyOccasionally, a deer would walk up and get a drink of water. IsideInside her, a voice spoke,
II.
This part clearly describes Michelle's early life, her acceptance of her disability and her attitude to others around her.
I feel I know her now and can understand her reasoning for any actions she may take further into the story. Her social life is beginning and her circle of friends is widening.
Typos in part II
and sighedsigned what they were.
advice from a friend . Shewho worked at a school for deaf children.
She was suppsedsupposed to live with another person. durigduring the classes...
Besides from these peopepeople, Michelle ....
III.
This part cements Keith's character into my mind and the body of the story is evolving.
The introductions to others in the story are made in a casual manner through your dialogue and I can easily relate to who is who and where they all fit into Michelle's life.
Typos in part III
Keith came bckback... yelling-forgettig at that moments yelling, forgetting for that moment
IV.
This final part rounds off the story and gives any explanations necessary to fill in the gaps of what happened when Michelle herself wasn't present. Keith does this well in his dialogue and gives Michelle the true feeling of having found a friend.
I knew Keith was a nice fellow from the start.
Typos in part IV.
Keith tapngtaping a note to the door.
and back - had bebeen written.
elevator to the main flooor floor.
in onone of the stuffed chairs
She she closed her bokbook,
she noticed she wasfelt hungry; she did not eathad not eaten much that day.
I thought they were youyour friends Micelle Michelle was too shocked to say anything.
Summing up, I think this was a simple yet realistic look at what life can be like for one with a disability.
It also gives a message to others to be just a little more patient and considerate of those who are less fortunate than we are.
A very nice story, Lulu.
I hope you can find the typos I noticed. I have put them in at the end of each chapter as I read it, to make them easier to find.
Typos are so easily made and by correcting them this would make delightful reading for any reviewer.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Lou,
And the moral of the story is...
Never try to go one better than a State Trooper.
After spending hours on the highway waiting to pull someone over for a breach of the law, he wouldn't have much sense of humour left.
Give my best to poor Brian.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Robin,
What a great poem,
Yes truly, we must all pay the Piper one day! Though some may find they get a bigger bill than most!
Poetically speaking I found your poem so very easy to read as it flowed smoothly with a wonderful rhyming scheme that did not seem forced at all.
I did however find two lines which may be improved just a little.
Just my opinion, use it at your own discretion.
Stanza 4, Line 3:- evilness replace with evil
Stanza 5, Line 2:- ....too stale and too weak.
Well done. I shall drop by your port again.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Shelley,
This poem is very descriptive even though it is limited to but a few lines.
I am not familiar with the form, but there are so many forms of poetry about.
Your explanation of the form is helpful to reviewers in evaluating the piece technically.
Picture prompt poems tend to have so much more impact when the prompt itself is displayed. It gives a much better understanding of where the writer found the inspiration for a piece.
I have done picture prompts myself and now regret not having asked the host of the contest for access to the image.
I hope this piece fared well in its contest.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Lou,
You do think very deeply and put so much of your heart and soul into your words.
I do so love to read your magic words.
This poem in particular is wrapped up so nicely in each verse and then all bound together with a ribbon of hope and dreams at the end. Just beautiful.
Keep weaving your magic into words.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Quentin,
Your coincidences are certainly worthy of being dubbed "baby miracles"!
The story did keep me interested right to the end which is a sign that your talent for writing is a gift you have developed well.
No flying off on tangents with unnecessary information, which quite often occurs in recalling events for an article.
I found no grammatical errors to distract me while reading. Just one typo in the 3rd para definatlydefinitely.
Well done.
If only we were alert enough to recognise these messages that are delivered via "baby miracles" we may all benefit from them, however, as you pointed out - when it happens, we will recognise it!
Thanks for the entertaining read,
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Fabrice,
Congratulations on having your essay highlighted in this week's Action/Adventure Newsletter.
Ned Kelly: Hero or Villain?
Definitely a villain!
One who commits crimes of robbery(with violence) and murder and terrorising the population of his day,
must be considered a lawbreaker.
Yet folklore will have it that he is a legend who was daring and adventurous with a fervent loyalty to his family.
Other Australian bushrangers viz. Ben Hall, Captain Thunderbolt, Mad Dan Morgan and Mary Ann Bugg, come to mind, are not as well known or carry the same iconic status as Ned.
Ahh, definitely a hero!
I am not sure if it was his ingenuity in garbing himself in an iron suit of sorts for armoured protection, or his famous last nonchalant words (which are doubtful he ever spoke) "Such is life", which make him more memorable.
You have touched upon just a few exploits in this article. I am certain there are many more stories, some embellished over time, that are told of Ned Kelly and his gang.
One thing for sure, the expression "As game as Ned Kelly" will forever be a part of Australian idiom to describe one who is willing to have a go at anything despite its illegal or immoral purpose.
Years ago (1958) I passed through the town of Glenrowan, and one area of the sleepy little town appeared not to have changed from the days of Ned Kelly and his family.
Locals told us that descendants of Ned still lived in the area then, and were extremely protective of their privacy.
We wondered then...was it shame or were they simply fed up with the unwanted publicity and notoriety. I fear it may have been the latter, for we too were eager to gain a glimpse of a Kelly!
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Boris,
Not ever having the intestinal fortitude to watch scary movies, I stuck my neck out here to read this account of the Dracula thingo.
In print, your narrations of who is whom and who looks like someone else may seem confusing to some, but strangely enough, I followed it. ( You are right ! You will be punished severely in the afterlife for your treatment of Glenn Close).
Anyway after your in depth review of the movie, I doubt if I will need to see it at all.
Great reading on a dark and stormy night, as it is here now.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Jess,
Not a bad story at all. There is lots of action and drama in the first part of the tale, and lots of detail to describe and explain events. This is good.
Moving to the second half of the writing, there is little or no action and things seem to move so quickly and simply without much description. I found this to be rather an anticlimax.
I would like to see a little expansion here.
Maybe a bit of background on the little girl.
Having her rescue the dragon on her first visit to him seemed a bit too easy.
How did she come to have access to the keys? How she was able to go to the dragon's cell without any queries from the guards? These thoughts came into my mind.
Perhaps a few furtive visits to the cell and food smuggled in to regain his strength, would fill in a few gaps here.
Have a play with it. As you said, it is a writing from earlier days and I'm sure your more developed imagination and writing abilities can improve this "Roar of Flames" and make it a much better piece of work.
Full marks for trying and having the courage to place pieces of your work on the site for scrutiny.
Never lose this courage and determination to be a seasoned writer.
Cheers Meg.
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Oh yes, Jess,
That does look so much better, don't you think?
Keep writing your stories and using that wonderful imagination of yours.
I am sure you will draw many readers to your port.
Might be an idea to put the name of the piece, ie "Fright" at the top of the story as well as in the header.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Jess,
Wow! You do have quite an imagination, don't you.
Good descriptions throughout the story give a clear picture of the scenes and events in the reader's mind.
One suggestion I would make, is that you make the opening sentence into a paragraph of its own, sort of like an introduction to the story. Double spacing between paragraphs would also make the presentation seem a little less cramped.
Just looking at the typing it appears like one long sentence.
A space between the paras would, I feel, separate the events of the story a little more, sort of like chapters.
I'd have the final sentence as a para on its own as well, Like a rounding off finale.
Well done for your first entry into your port.
Keep writing for the enjoyment of everyone on WDC.
Cheers Meg.
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Such a beautiful creature, I can't imagine anyone thinking they are a fictional animal.
Hi Feather Duster,
I was drawn to this sig just by the very fact that it is a unicorn.
The sigs contained in writers' ports are an insight into who they really are.
Their dreams and inner selves are revealed by the images with which they sign their reviews.
Your beautiful Unicorn says so much about you.
Cheers my fellow unicorn lover.
Hi Devo,
Sometimes the most difficult things to see are those that are right in front of us.
Your poem has shown this in no uncertain manner.
Love can do some strange (and wonderful) things to a heart which is merely human.
Some typos I noticed, Devo:-
2nd line:- across
3rd line:- accurately
13th line:- terribly
A heartwarming poem.
Thank you.
Cheers Meg.
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Powerful and promising words that will surely give hope to a proud nation, as the words of Presidents before him gave hope and promise to a growing nation.
I really am impressed by the expression you have used here, Lou:- ...and you are named,
if not the light at the end
of the tunnel
at least the lamp bearer.
May Obama's lamp burn brightly and guide your nation to peace, freedom and prosperity.
Hi Pebbles,
This poem is Short?...Yes! Simple?...Yes!...Meaningful?...Most definitely!
Thoughts from the heart put down on paper are our true feelings and you have expressed very true and real feelings here.
A suggestion (grammar-wise) here, Pebbles ~ the last line is part of the on going question from the second last line, so I would delete the "?" from the 3rd line and place it at the end of the last line.
I could feel myself answering your questions as I read.
My answer would constitute a 5th line:- It's because I do love you.
Touching and sweet. I hope you still feel this way for this special someone.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Harley,
Thank you so much for using my humble suggestions to polish your poem.
I hope you agree with me that it does flow so much more smoothly without those little words taking up extra syllables in each line.
I am re-rating your poem accordingly.
Keep writing and giving pleasure to your readers: especially me!
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Lou,
This is a fascinating biography of Calamity Jane.
I did know a little of her from the movie of the same name, but as it was Hollywood's version, no one is ever sure how much is truth and how much is Hollywood hype.
Is there any documentation as to how Martha Jane died?
A few typos I noticed.
6th stanza:- MarshaMartha
17th Stanza :- MartaMartha
18th Stanza:- CalametyCalamity
Thanks for this piece, Lou. I really enjoy reading historical pieces.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Harry,
What a story!
A tribute to a man who became a legend in the eyes of those who had never even met him.
I hope this story of Uncle Walter is never forgotten by the future generations of your family. The touching facts have been passed on to you so that you in turn can share them with your children.
Brave men who sacrificed everything, a family and a future, should be remembered forever by those for whom he gave his life.
Just one word I would suggest changing, Harry.
In the 6th stanza:- You must have been special, judging
A wonderful piece about a wonderful man who in his short life, made such a great impression on so many.
Well done!
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Magoo,
Just what I needed right now ! A bit of a giggle.
Poems that have a twist at the end are entertaining to say the least.
You have chosen quite descriptive words to emphasise the frustration you seem to be experiencing, and the piece reads well with a smooth rhyming flow.
The title, however, though appropriate, does tend to give the punchline away a little, don't you think?
Well done!
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Harley,
Your thoughts for a better world are commendable. Hopefully this poem will reach out to many.
The lack of punctuation and capitals at the beginning of each line is not the norm for poetry. In this case I got the feeling that without these grammatical elements, the poem was a personal musing and not meant to be a strictly structured item.
It suited this piece.
A couple of suggestions if I may. Use them or discard them at your own discretion. They are my opinion ~ it's your your poem.
I feel the word "just" has been a little overused throughout the piece, so some of the suggestions concern this point.
Deleting a small word here and there may also give the poem a smoother flow when read aloud.
the angels up above are wondering why
we just sit around and ruin our lives
the moon rises up it rises with its evil smile (when something "rises" it does go "up")
why can't we just give each other a hand
to the ones who have gone on to a better place
we need to be united unite as the Human Race
so just give a stranger help help to a stranger when they he may need it
we'll all be in a better world I Guarantee It
Thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts for a better world.
Cheers Meg.
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Hi Lou,
This poem of the Agway Store is a sad way to remember your old hometown. There is some consolation though, in that you have the sweet memories of yesteryear when the store was young and vital to all who passed through its doors.
With these memories comes the wonderful recollections of your dear Daddy, and the years can never decay these precious moments in your heart and mind.
Sure put a lump in my throat reading this.
Cheers Meg.
ps. In the last line I noticed a little typo through my misty eyes:- abandoned
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Hi there Beck,
To quote your handle "fine with 2009"...and all WILL be fine if you print this guide to better shopping by the King of the Castle, and attach it to every cart handled by said King!
These rules definitely come natural to us, the weaker sex ( and I use the term merely to appease said Kings).
Absolutely loved this piece and will definitely hand a copy to the men in my family.
Cheers and happy shopping,
Meg.
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Hello Gulshan,
Your determination to face a challenge and succeed has been with you since childhood, when you first rode a bicycle.
Your English may not be as perfect as one who was born into an English speaking family, but you have the ability to make your writing able to be understood to an English reader. That is very commendable.
There would not be many English people I know who could speak or write in Hindi.
Keep facing your challenges in this spirit and I am certain you will succeed in whatever you do.
Cheers Meg.
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which is merely human.