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261 Public Reviews Given
261 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am still developing a "Review Style" so how it is today is nothing like it was last month nor will it be like it is next month. I will never share negativity with the author because it is unnecessary. You can give encouragement through advice and that is what I will do. I will give my honest opinion on what may add to a piece, but I will also give encouragement on writing, story, and presentation. I love to give feedback to authors because I love to see how stories evolve.
I'm good at...
I will carefully look at the entire piece and break it down to see if it could benefit from a second look. When looking at a piece for review, I look at flow, consistency, word choice, punctuation, grammar, and personality. Each piece that someone writes is a story that they want to tell and it is a reviewer's job to add helpful insight into how that could be accomplished.
Favorite Genres
My favorite genres are Young Adult, Emotional, Dark, Fiction, Fantasy, Drama, and Dystopian Fiction.
Least Favorite Genres
While I like most genres, my least favorite genres are Historical, Political, and erotic.
Favorite Item Types
I love reading all item types and enjoy changing it up.
I will not review...
I will take a look at anything that is sent to me.
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of My one regret  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*RibbonR* Hello there spidey ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I had read your piece a few months back, but wanted to come back and give a better review for it because I felt that it deserved it *Smile* I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on what I just read, but please remember that these are merely the personal thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts/suggestions are helpful! After reading {item:..}, I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

*StarG*First Thoughts: I remember the first time that I had read this poem, I was very impressed with it. You were able to communicate a very difficult emotion and experience in a way that any reader would be able to feel some of what the narrator feels.

*StarB*As I Read: My heart broke for the narrator because they had to go through something that was life-changing and harder than anyone should have to deal with. However, I felt that you did very well with telling us this story of regret, heartache, and love. The narrator was in love and on the top of the world until the one that they loved was taken away. It's sad. It's heartbreaking. It's real.

*StarB*Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
Nothing caught my eye that may benefit from a second look. Your piece is very polished.

*StarB*Line(s) of Note: My one regret - I never said goodbye. --- I chose this line because it's something that I know a lot of us regret. I know that I definitely do and that weighs on a person.

*StarG*Closing Thoughts: Thank you for sharing this poem. It is something that will touch many people. It's a hard subject, but it's also something everyone goes through at some point in their lives. I felt that you were able to bring a personal touch to this.

-Shana-

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27
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there Untucoi ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I had the privilege of reading a piece of yours earlier and wanted to browse through your portfolio. I saw your poetry folder and had to click on it and it brought me here! I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on this one, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts/suggestions are helpful! After reading "Light Behind My Eyes" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: I really appreciate poetry and those who are able to express themselves through it. The way that a person is able to create something that flows from line to line can be a very beautiful thing. That is how I saw this piece of yours. I found beauty and hope in it as I read.

As I Read: Poetry is not my specialty, so please forgive me if I suggest or say anything that doesn't apply. *Blush* With that being said, I loved how you structured this poem.

The first part shows the reality that the narrator lives in. "I fear my soul shall never fly" shows this harsh reality. It seems almost like a hopeless situation.

The second shows hope. This can be seen in the line, "Searching for the morning light".

Finally the third shows that the reality has changed from destruction to restoration as seen in the line, "Because you are the light for me".

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
I didn't notice anything that may benefit from a second look. I think it is perfect the way that it is.

Closing Thoughts: I really enjoyed reading this poem. You have a talent that is seen in your writing and I hope that you will continue to explore that talent. I hope to see more from you!

-Shana-

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28
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there Untucoi ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I came across your piece on the Shameless Plug Page, so I clicked on it and it brought me here! I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts/suggestions are helpful! After reading "Unending Questions" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: I like how you start this out with these questions. It invites the reader to put themselves into the story that you are about to tell. It's a great way to have opened this piece.

As I Read: I wasn't sure which way you would take the story because of the limited information that I had going into it. I did, however, enjoy the supernatural side of the story. My heart broke for the narrator because of his loss. Once that was introduced into the story, I could see the effect that it had on him. I liked how your story had more than one element. There was loss, but there was also the journey that the narrator found himself on.

Line(s) of Note: I am sure one day I will find the answer, but for right now the journey keeps me close to him. --- I chose to point this line out because it is the one that stuck out to me the most. I think that every reader can relate to this story in one way or another. Perhaps not the magic part, but then again who knows(!), but at least the loss and the determination to keep a bond with whatever they have lost. This line shows that that is what the character wished for above all else.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
As the dirt and water mixed in the air the conglomeration began to shrink. A tiny golem and dropped to the earth. (The second sentence may flow better if you either combine the two sentences or reworked the second sentence. A possible example could be: As the dirt and water mixed in the air, the conglomeration began to shrink and a tiny golem dropped to the earth.)

I have searched through our house, read every book, seen every move, and caught every pop culture reference but real magic still eludes me. (did you mean movie instead of move?)

Closing Thoughts: I really enjoyed reading this story. You are a talented storyteller and I hope that you will always embrace that talent. Thank you for sharing it with us *Smile*

-Shana-

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Review of Tears For Two  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there Angus ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I came across your piece on the Please Review page so I clicked on it and it brought me here! I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these suggestions are helpful! After reading "Tears For Two" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: I would like to stand up and applaud you. *Claps hands* This piece was brilliantly written and presented. You showed your talent for storytelling through this short, twist-filled, tale. I was not expecting it to turn out the way that you took it, so kudoz on that! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story.

As I Read: My heart broke for the narrator as he lost two of his best friends. My heart pulled for his apparent sadness and loss. The friends went everywhere together and did everything with one another. I could feel the emotions of the narrator as I read this story and it was apparent that this event took a personal toll on the writer and that carried over into the story. The emotions that were portrayed throughout the piece seemed to be real and strong.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
Nothing caught my eye that could possibly benefit from a second look.

Closing Thoughts: I loved it! Each word kept me wanting more and by the end of it I had a smile on my face. I was taken by surprise at the ending. However, I would like to offer my condolences on the shoes. I am sure that they are sorely missed.

-Shana-

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30
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there Sera June ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I came across your piece on a review list, so I clicked on it, and it brought me here! I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on what I read, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts/suggestions are helpful! After reading "Keep Competition in Kids" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: I was curious to see how your rebuttal would go because when I was growing up, I was one of those kids who wasn't competitive. Immediately your openness and sincerity caught my attention. You had an opinion on the matter, but you weren't forceful with it. I appreciate the fact that even though you do not have children of your own, you still felt led to share your opinion on the matter *Smile*

As I Read: I thought that you did a great job with sharing and exploring your opinion. You not only stated it, but you were able to back up what you claimed. That shows that you put thought and consideration into this piece. I felt that you had many good opinions which I agreed with.

Line(s) of Note: The way I see it, those kids who are the “stronger players” are the ones who are practicing on the days they don’t have soccer games. They are the ones who eat, sleep and breathe their sport. Why should they not be rewarded for their hard work? --- I liked these lines because I agree with it. Many times, in a sports setting and out of it, children are all lumped together and ones hard work and dedication is overshadowed by those who haven't put the time and effort into it.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
Alyson states: “I don't like graded report cards. I tell parents not to pay children for achieving good grades.” After this she quotes Alfred Adler: "The competitive child must compete and win. The non-competitive child can compete whether he wins or loses." --- Possible revision for that part. It would help it to flow a bit better I think.

“It turns out that when games are scored and a win moves you up in the standings, points become the singular focus. How does a team win? Give your best player the ball and have him or her take shots at the net. The strongest player gets better and the other children suffer. They don't learn to make passes, to make set-ups and do sophisticated plays. They don't practice the finer skills of the game.” (This part is in quotes, but I wasn't sure who said it or where it came from because of it's placement. If you add that information in, it would make it easier to understand.)

Closing Thoughts: I have to agree that eliminating competition in children has the potential to hinder them in the future. We have to strive for our best in life if we expect to be successful. Now, I don't agree with bringing too much competition into a child's life, and I felt that this wasn't what you were talking about. But, in general, competition pushes us to find out what we are talented in and where we can flourish in life. Without that extra push when we are young, how will we begin wanting to find that thing that suits us?

I love how you have presented your opinion on this matter and I enjoyed reading it *Smile*

-Shana-

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31
31
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey there! I had to continue reading through your portfolio and came across this piece! I enjoyed reading it and wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it. Please keep in mind that these are merely my own thoughts. I hope that you are able to take whatever is helpful and please toss out whatever doesn't apply here.

With that being said...

My First Impressions: I love the prompt that you were provided. There are many ways that a story based from it could go. So needless to say, I was intrigued from the start.

As I Read: I love the story that you have written. You are a strong,talented writer. This piece beautifully showcases your gift with words. The descriptions that you provide of the scene allowed me to imagine it for myself. Throughout the writing that I have seen from you, I have seen how great of a storyteller you are. Thank you for sharing that talent with us!

Line(s) of Note: I loved your closing line: "I took a leap of faith, one winter night, riding on a train to Holland, justifying the relief I remembered in those reflected dark eyes of pain."

Your story tells of tolerance and trust. Sometimes we need to just believe the best about someone because we are sometimes biased in our assumptions.

Great piece!
-Shana-

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32
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey there! I had to continue reading through your portfolio and came across this piece! I enjoyed reading it and wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it. Please keep in mind that these are merely my own thoughts. I hope that you are able to take whatever is helpful and please toss out whatever doesn't apply here.

With that being said...

First Impressions: The title "The other Side of the Clouds" caught and held my attention because it made me curious about what all the story would entail. I was eager to find out what it was going to be about.

Line(s) of Note: "Left behind is every trail of tears known to all creatures great and small." -- This line stuck out to me because it provoked deep thoughts as I tried to imagine myself being in a similar situation. I love the straightforwardness of this piece because it brings into question a subject that is very difficult to deal with.

You did a great job with this story and I really am glad that I came across it tonight. You are very talented. Thank you for sharing that talent with us!
-Shana-

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Review of The Sun Also Sets  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey there! I had to continue reading through your portfolio and came across this piece! I enjoyed reading it and wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it. Please keep in mind that these are merely my own thoughts. I hope that you are able to take whatever is helpful and please toss out whatever doesn't apply here.

With that being said...

First Thoughts: I love the uniqueness of this story. It was very interesting to read the perspective of Hooves. I believe that this was the first time that I have actually ever read the perspective of a Bull.

As I Read: I felt that you did very well with telling this story. You presented an interesting and entertaining story. I love how you creatively mixed fiction with a real person. It was fun to wonder what it would be like if this actually happened. I also enjoyed how well you described Hooves and what the Bull was thinking and feeling. You did well with developing that personality.

Possible Corrections: Nothing caught my eye that may benefit from a second look.

I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing it!
-Shana-

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34
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
And here we are. I can't believe this is the end, but I knew it'd have to come. I do, however, find comfort in the ending. You have blessed WDC with a fantastic story that I am sure has melted many a readers heart. As a reader, I tend to get lost in good stories and this story is just that. Well even more. Its amazing. It's been developed and presented so well that I am sure even the strictest of critics would have a hard time not getting trapped inside the happy bubble that it creates.

I smiled when Cindy and Ben got together. I was hoping that he would find someone. I love how you added them into the story as well. I'm always a cheerleader for a happy ending and this one really made me happy.

I have really appreciated your writing style. You are a very talented writer and have many strengths which is easily seen in your stories. I hope that you continue writing and sharing what you write and what you think of with us. I am extremely glad that I was able to come back to your story and really get into it! Thank you!!

-Shana-

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35
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there! It's just me again... The slightly addicted reader who is enthralled by your story. I see that the story is almost finished and I'm really hoping that one day there will be more of the story. The knowledge that it's almost over makes me happy because I get to find out what all you have planned for Sara and Oliver. I read this chapter in anticipation of what's going to happen next just like the previous ones. After reading Chapter 28, I wanted to leave you with some thoughts on it but please remember that these are merely my own personal thoughts. Please take whatever is good and toss out whatever does not apply here.

I really appreciate how much effort you have put into this story. You have created a wonderful story of pain, love, and hope. You have created a realistic situation where we see the journey that two souls make in order to be together. I love how real you kept it. It wasn't love at first sight, running off into the sunset, and a peachy keen life. You kept it with what we'd really feel and it was nice to read that.

thank you for a great chapter!
-Shana -

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36
36
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there! It's just me again... The slightly addicted reader who is enthralled by your story. I see that the story is getting down to the last few chapters. That knowledge makes me happy because I get to find out what all you have planned for Sara and Oliver. I read this chapter in anticipation of what's going to happen next. After reading Chapter 27, I wanted to leave you with some thoughts on it but please remember that these are merely my own personal thoughts. Please take whatever is good and toss out whatever does not apply here.

Wow... Ollie really laid it all out on the line. I wonder how Sara will respond, but I am very proud of Ollie for coming clean with everything. It shows courage and his love for Sara. I really like how much heart you have put into Oliver's feelings and expressions. He is quite the modern Prince Charming!

Possible Corrections: "Yeah,well...if she loves you, she'll forgive and if she' doesn't maybe you're better off without her." --- (Remove the apostrophe on she)

I loved this chapter!!
-Shana-

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37
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there! It's just me again... The slightly addicted reader who is enthralled by your story. I see that the story is getting down to the last few chapters. That knowledge makes me happy because I get to find out what all you have planned for Sara and Oliver. I read this chapter in anticipation of what's going to happen next. After reading Chapter 26, I wanted to leave you with some thoughts on it but please remember that these are merely my own personal thoughts. Please take whatever is good and toss out whatever does not apply here.

Miller is a total sleaze. I thoroughly dislike him and hope that he gets what's coming to him. I like how you have added in elements other than just the romance. This is a well rounded story.

Line of Note: "What do you mean, uh oh?". --- I love this line because it really shows just how badly Oliver screwed up and more so that he never intended to. This is a situation that we can all relate to because we've all pulled an Oliver, even if its not to the same extent.

I loved this chapter and can't wait for more.

-Shana -
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38
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello again! I hope your day is going well! My internet started hating me, so I am reviewing from my phone so please forgive the outline differences! With that being said, I finished this chapter and wanted to leave you with my thoughts on it. Please keep in mind that these are simply my thoughts and may or may not apply. Please take whatever is good and toss out whatever doesn't work.

As I read through this chapter, Sara's pain was palpable and my heart broke for her.

Line of Note: "the next morning, Sara left all her dreams of romance in Shannon, Virginia, setting off for qt least six weeks on Tybee Island, to heal her broken heart and forget Oliver Kelly, once and for all."

I don't know how Oliver will fix this, but I am sure that he will give his all.

The only thing that I saw that may benefit from a second look is where you say Shannon,Virginia. There should be a comma between the two places I believe.

You have done such a great job with this story! I have been thoroughly enjoying it!

-Shana -

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39
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there! I just finished this chapter and wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it. Please keep in mind that these are only my thoughts and may or may not work for you. Please take whatever is good and toss out what doesn't apply!

First thoughts: Oh my! What a horrible way for Sara to find out about everything. I understand why he didn't tell her everything but now it is simply a disaster! Also, you did a great job with writing Dina's character. I dislike her very much which shows your strength with realistic character development.

Emotions:: I felt sadness for Sara. Anger at Dina for being Dina. Also I felt anger toward Oliver for not telling the truth earlier. Evoking these emotions in your readers show your strength as a writer.

Line of Note: "Seeing Oliver in Dina's arms, she started to feel angry and the more anger she felt, the more determined she was to rise above the situation.". -- I like this line because it shows Sara heartbroken, but it shows her taking that pain and finding strength in it.

Great chapter!!
-Shana -

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40
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .This is the last chapter I get to read for the night, so I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts/suggestions are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 23" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: I love the poems that you add to the story because it really gives it another depth. It's awesome to see these inner thoughts from both Ollie's and Sara's perspective. Are they from your own imagination? If so, they are absolutely fantastic and I think that they fit perfectly with the story. I was sad as I read about how much stress each of them were dealing with individually. I can't imagine what Sara is going through and Ollie has obligations that he can't get out of. I hope that everything works out for the best for them though. I'm rooting for them.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
Nothing that I saw crossed my mind for possible revisions. I feel that you have done a fantastic job with this story so far and am sure that the rest of the chapters will carry that same sense of perfection.

I really enjoyed reading this chapter and I can't wait to read more... but unfortunately, I must wait for tomorrow *Sad* Until then though!

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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41
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I just finished this here chapter and wanted to leave you with some of my impressions of it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts/suggestions are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 22" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: Oh no... this is what part of the story I was dreading. I guess no couple can stay in a bubble for too long. I hope that Ollie is able to be completely open and honest with Sara. I worry for her reaction though because of how much hurt she is facing at the moment. But, all in all, I have hope that they will sort it all out and be even stronger than before!

What I Felt: As I read this chapter, I was easily able to follow it because of how well everything flows together. I like how much care you have taken to polish it up. I don't know if the polishing came naturally or if you worked hard on it, but either way I am sure that all of your readers appreciate it because I know that I do. I was also sad as reality started to get in the way of their blissful bubble. Overall though, I felt hope because I knew that neither of them wanted to be separated from one another and I have a feeling that the separation will make their bond stronger. Maybe this is what Ollie needed to finally tell her! Who knows? Well you do, of course, but hopefully I will too soon!

Line(s) of Note: "Cindy realized it took every bit of strength Sara possessed to talk normally and not burst into tears." --- This line stuck out to me because it shows Sara's strength. She has faced a lot in her life and I am hoping that Ollie will be that strength for her when she is weak.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
I didn't notice anything that would benefit from a second look!

I really enjoyed reading this chapter!

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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42
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I love love love this story! I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on this chapter, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these suggestions/thoughts are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 21" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: Ah, this situation just got even trickier. I wonder how he plans to tell Sara about his true true self. He would have to soon if he wanted to keep from lying to her. I wonder how you're going to do that! I love spoilers, but I know I have to just be patient and read.

As I Read: I love the steady progression of this story that you provide. The friendship, trust, and relationship is steadily budding and I know there just has to be a happy ending for them. I worry that since things have been going so well that the truth will catch up with them soon. This worry grew stronger as you introduced Ollie needing to fly back. I like how you have portrayed the struggle between his heart and his commitments and promises. His wanting to stick to his commitments, no matter how inconvenient they are, makes him that much more charming. I don't know where it will lead, but I am curious to find out more about this speed bump.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
I found nothing that would benefit this chapter. You have polished it well! *Smile*

This chapter was very good!

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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43
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . Your story is absolutely fascinating and I have enjoyed it so much! I think that I have spent the better part of today reading it and I can't stop now when it's getting so good! So, that little link at the bottom of your chapters (thank you for putting them there) has helped me to feed my curiosity with this tale. I would like to leave you with some of my thoughts on this chapter, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts/suggestions are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 20" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: Ah, back to the real world. I was wondering how they'd feel about that. I know how hard it can be to move from something so wonderful and thrown back into the routine of the "real world". It is definitely not a fun experience. If only we could always live in the moments that matter the most to us! But then again, we wouldn't be as likely to make more good memories if we lived in those moments only. Oh well!

As I Read: I couldn't help but wonder if Sara is going to have a bad reaction to Ollie's true true identity. She's taken everything else so well. I wonder if she'd be hurt by his holding that information back or would she be happy to know the true Ollie? Hmm I suppose I have to just continue reading to find out!

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.
I found nothing that may benefit from a second look.

Line(s) of Note: Reaching over, Oliver raised her gloved hand to his lips for a tender kiss that made her shiver, saying, "I'm your Mistletoe Man, Sara. No one else's." ---- Swoooooon. I love it!!!

Another fantastic chapter!!! *Smile*

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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44
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I just finished this chapter and wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts/suggestions are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 19" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: Oh my, how adorable! They are far too cute for their own good. I love the gentle and shy building of their relationship. It's nice to see a relationship that slowly develops instead of wam, bam, boom with the physical. This is a refreshing change from some stories that I have seen around. I don't know if that develops later on, I am sure it must with how well they are connecting, but I do appreciate the emotional building first. You have done a great job with this.

As I Read: I could imagine the sights that they were seeing and through your words I was able to imagine what they must have been feeling. I love how shy and awkward Ollie is and it just gets even better with each passing chapter.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.

I didn't notice anything that would benefit from a second look!

Line(s) of Note: "Anytime. Day or night. Anywhere. If I'm not there call me and I will be. I'm your mistletoe man. At your service!" --- I love this line because it is completely adorable and sweet. It really shows Ollie's personality well.

I loved, loved, loved this chapter! Now I shall click the next link for more epicness.

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I finally got to the point that I was so curious about: Sara finding out the truth about who he was.. or well the majority of it. I just finished reading it and I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these suggestions are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 18" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: As we say here in Louisiana...Sha! How adorable! Sara and Ollie are meant to be. I am glad that you took it this direction and I am also glad that I finally know how Sara would react. I was so insanely curious about it.

As I Read: My heart melted as he told her the truth. I love the fact that she was so accepting of it all. I am sure that things could change, but for now, this is perfect! Each chapter makes me love your two characters even more. I love their personalities and the fact that they both really wear their hearts on their sleeve even when they are trying to be guarded. It's interesting to see inside their minds even if they are fictional characters.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.

I only found two possible corrections: Oliver confessed as she giggled again. I don't just knock down Harry Potter displays either. My friend, Ben, calls me a clumsey carp. I'm a total klutz, especially when I'm nervous." (Add quotations before "I don't". Also, I think clumsey should be clumsy.)

I really enjoyed reading this chapter and so I am on to the next!!

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . After reading chapter 17, all I can offer for a moment is WOW...
Okay, with that being said, I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on this chapter, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts are helpful! After reading {item:..}, I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: Ahhh the suspense! You have crafted each chapter perfectly to keep your readers hooked. Whether or not that was intentional, I am not certain, but I do know that it works very well!!

As I Read: I was on the edge of my seat. Well, actually relaxing on my couch, but emotionally on the edge of my seat. The suspense is killing me and I have to click the link for the next chapter to find out what happens with Sara's reaction. I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like!

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.

Absolutely nothing! This story is tip-top shape and perfect as is!

Line(s) of Note:

"Studying his face in the dim ambient light of the railroad car, Sara realized, for the first time that there were tears in his eyes, too." --- I chose this line because it shows how much both of them are moved by one another's presence. It shows their vulnerability and heart. They care a lot for one another, but still have some defenses up. This line really shows their love for one another.

Must...click...next chapter...now!

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I am happy to announce that I am completely addicted to this story. I've become attached to this just as if it were one of my favorite novels. I can't wait to witness the twists and turns that I'm assuming that this story will take. I finished up chapter 16 and I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 16" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: Whaaaat? They finally kissed - something that Ollie wanted for a while now - but it wasn't exactly as perfect as he had hoped for because he hadn't been completely honest with Sara. Your closing line makes me think that perhaps the next chapter will have the truth come out? Hmmm... I hope so because I want them to have a clean beginning, but at the same time I hope that they don't because I know that it will cause some hurt. I guess I will just have to be patient and wait to find out.

As I Read: I could feel the tension start to progress more because the truth is bound to come out at some time. The way that the story, and their relationship, is progressing, I feel that it will make an appearance very soon. I am confident that you will present the situation in the perfect way for this story. I truly admire your talent with writing/storytelling.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.

Nada! It was perfect from my view!

Read another chapter? Don't mind if I do!

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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48
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Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on this chapter, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these thoughts are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch.15" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

Emotions While Reading: I was happy for Ollie and Sara. I appreciated the fact that they were able to bring happiness and comfort to one another. It also made me smile that their attraction to one another is growing so naturally. I really hope that soon there will be no barriers between them and can be completely open and honest with one another.

I was also nervous for Ollie because of the fact that there is a lot that comes with his identity being revealed. I can only imagine what damage it might do if Sara found out without it coming directly from Ollie on his own. I hope that nothing forces his hand with it and is able to share the truth with her at the best time. On the other hand, though, I feel for Sara because I can only imagine what the knowledge of his identity may do to her trust issues. There is just so many factors in this story that could cause a chain reaction.

As I Read: I was hoping that this chapter would end with them both being happy and thankfully it did! They are able to continue building their relationship with one another and I can't wait to see where it takes them!

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.

Nothing caught my eye that could benefit from a second look *Smile*

I really enjoyed reading about their Thanksgiving outing and can't wait to read more!

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello there ♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . I hope that you aren't bored of the reviews. I am thoroughly enjoying this story and I know that some of my comments may seem a bit repetitive, so I will try my best to fix that! Well, this chapter was great and I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these suggestions/thoughts are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 14" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: I neeeeed to know Sara's reaction to finding out that Kelly is really Ollie who is really Oliver Kelly. I can imagine a few different scenarios, but I am sure that none of those would do the actual reaction justice. I like how light this read is, meaning that I can just easily get right into it and continue on chapter after chapter. It's a refreshing, and slightly addictive story.

As I Read: The suspense of Sara finding out Kelly's true identity kept growing. She's opened up so much to him, and I'd hate for her to withdraw completely because of that. However, seeing the growing attraction between them both gives me hope that it will all work out in the end. I would love to see the ideal Prince Charming riding off into the sunset with his love beside him, but I know that they will probably have to face obstacles along the way. That just makes it more realistic though and I appreciate that.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.

I didn't notice anything *Smile*


Amazing chapter! I loved it!

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
♥Hooves♥ ! This is Shana from the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . After reading this chapter, ! I wanted to leave you with some of my thoughts on it, but please remember that these are simply the thoughts of a reader. Please take whatever is good and toss back whatever doesn't apply. I hope these suggestions are helpful! After reading "Sara's Port, Ch. 13" , I have the following comments to offer...*Smile*

First Thoughts: What a perfect setting! Its romantic vibe is balanced out well with their shyness and cute attraction. They are very.. forgive the corniness of the term... adorkable, especially in Ollie's case. He is so cute and awkward that it makes him that more attractive.

As I Read: I really enjoy the budding of their relationship. You can see them being more attracted to each other as each word is passed between them. They have a deep attraction to one another that shows that they are meant for each other. It's not often in life that it will happen that way, but when two people do have that type of connection, it's something to admire. Even though this is a fictional relationship (unless it is indeed based on real life events), the hope that it creates warms my heart. It shows the greener grass on the other side of the harsher times in life. It shows happiness that is meant for these two people. They both have struggled and have hurt. I'm glad that they are the answer to each other's loneliness.

Things That May Add To It: The suggestions or corrections can be found in italics.

I didn't notice anything! You have done a fantastic job at polishing this story and it shows how much care you put into your writing. You are very talented and it shows.

Line(s) of Note:
"As she talked, Oliver found himself falling more and more in love with the kind hearted woman sitting next to him as he learned about the obstacles she faced and how she bravely moved to Virginia to start a new life. The caring and warm heart he saw in her writing was evident, only magnified as he listened to her talk about the loss of her loved ones."

I love this paragraph above because it shows that even though Sara has experienced a lot of pain, it has helped her to become the woman that she is now. The fact that Ollie could see that shows that he truly does care for her. I love how he already cares so much for her. I can only imagine what it will be like once they both are aware of who the other truly is.

This chapter brought yet another smile to my face *Smile*

-Shana-
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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