Very nice poem ...I liked it very much...In the starting did you intend to put the fullstop or is it an error...and the second line is somewhat wrong ,i feel"But to heavy keep open,"should have been too heavy to keep open...Its just my thought..
If you liked my review then please do read my highlighted poems...
very nice poem indeed...i specially liked the way the lines are placed...After all the hurt and pain you put me through,
I still believe and have faith in you.
So I'll say good-bye and get on with the living,
Remember, true love is always forgiving.
These lines are too good for an ending...kudos!!!!
Excellent job!!!!!!!!Plz just try to avoid the full stops that u have used in different places ..The spelling of forgiveness is wrong and in the line as I nearer to it come"...I think the apt change for it would be " As nearer to it,I come"...overall an good poem..
hey very nice poem....i liked the lines "until the hunger passes
lie in each other's arms
until the darkness explodes
and hurls the particles through space
thrusting light into the vacuum" very much....The repetation of words "ourselves" can be done a little more creativily or if i may suggest plz change the them into two different words..
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.20 seconds at 4:17am on Apr 26, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
