I liked this poem a lot. It has great spirit. I used to bowl but haven't in years. This makes me want to try it again. Of course I wasn't as good at it as you are. Having read your bio. I liked the rhyme too. I couldn't find anything really wrong with this poem. Some of the rhyme was a little forced,however, but that is just my opinion.Doesn't really take away from the fact that this is a fine poem.
This is an outstanding poem. The imagery was wonderful. The rhyme and rythym were impeccable. I enjoyed reading it so much. It told a wonderful story and I was spellbound. I could have gone on and on.Bravo! on a fabulous poem. I hope you win the contest cause you have my vote. That's if I could vote and where I'd vote . Oh well Congratulations.
I loved this poem. From one who also lost big time. I love the way you played out the seasons. It's like that as I recall. I liked they rhyme and rhythm too. Sorry it had to die. It can be devastating. This seems to be a work from the heart. Congratulations on a fine poem. That I took to heart too. It's like you wrote "everybody paid the cost".
I really liked this poem. The rhyme and rhythm were right on. The words are so true.
I liked the last two lines a lot. Although I've heard it said many times. I couldn't find anything wrong with it. Bravo! on a fine poem. I liked the title too. I wish It could have been a little longer but it is great the way it is.
I enjoyed reading this very much. It says a lot. I liked your titleand I liked your ending. I thought the rhythm was good. Basically I didn't find anything wrong with this poem.I would have given it a 5 star rating but I didn't like the words itching to be loosed. I wish you could find something else to put there. But it's only my opinion and actually it is a marvelous poem.
Wonderful poem. Beautiful imagery. I could just imagine being there. You've displayed a fireworks display to the t. Only yours is better than the real thing. I love you're idea. I watched a couple of fireworks displays myself this 4th of July. They didn't come close to your garden in the sky. Bravo!
I cried when I read this poem. I don't care about spelling or punctuation or rhyme or rhythm. This is a masteriece of the heart. A few days ago I was interrupted when I was reading this and I was so interested in it that I came back to it days later. If I could give 6 stars I would. I hope this didn't really happen to you but if it did my heart goes out to you and I feel your pain. Nobody should lose a child. It is the worst pain imagineable. My most sincere sympathy at your loss.
This is an awesome poem. I really like the way you laid it out. The rhyming is wonderful. Nice to see someone take on the tabloid industry. It flows nicely and I found no errors. Think I'll put away the newspaper and watch some tv. lol Just kidding.
This is a wonderful poem. Repetition isn't always good but it works here. I couldn't find anything wrong with it. It shows beauty and sensitivity. Beautiful words make a beautiful poem. The rhythm is good and it flows gracefully. I haven't read much Thoreau so I honestly couldn't compare it. But I think you've done a fine job with this. Bravo!
Beautiful poem. Reminds me of an impressionist painting. It is magical and awe inspiring. I like the rhyme and the rhythm nothing forced. The picture is perfect and I can see that you must have taken some of your lovely thoughts from this. This was done by a master poet. Bravo! Amazing!
This is a great poem. It is well written and I didn't find any mistakes. The rhyme and rhythm are good too. It was a pleasure to read. Ironic how you're blind date turned into your true love. I can just imagine you there sweating it out and then in walks this beautiful lady. You must have been floored. Is she still your lady?Great poem.
This poem was a riot. I loved it. It's well written and I didn't find any mistakes. I liked the rhyme and the rhythym. It's just a fine piece of work. You had me from beginning to end. I wouldn't change a thing.
The ending was the best though. Write more!
I loved this poem. However I'm not sure if it is Haiku or Senryu. There is a fine line between the difference of the two. Haiku seems to be more about nature. While Senryu has more human qualities. Japanese poetry looks easy to do but it is sometimes the hardest. I like your title too. I found it refreshing to find joy in some mundane act like taking out the trash. Bravo!
I llike this poem but I feel it needs a little something. I don't know what. It just doesn't blow me away. I like the part about "love wound ever as silken threads". I wasn't sure what you meant by" My life ere caste to care and devotion. " I like the rest of it and it does show promise.
This is a really good poem about the stigma of mental illness. I agree we are all somewhat crazy. I think I would have left off the question marks, only my opinion.In the second line you wrote the word strate. I believe it should be straight. Best to look it up.
Actually it makes me glad to see someone advocating for the "crazy" for a change. Nice poem.
this was a beautiful poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. You had me right up until the last few lines. Not the last 2 but the 2 before. In the second to last line you wrote than I think you meant then. Anyway I think with a little work tis could be a five star poem. It has good rythym and flow. Anyway it impressed me.
This is a very powerful and disturbing poem. I enjoyed it very much. You would have to go through a broken marriage or maybe just a relationship, I don't know, to understand the feeling behind such words. It moved me as I have been there on the other side of the coin and it makes me think of what I have done and regret it. I'm sorry if you went through this personally. Best wishes.
I enjoyed this poem very much. The imagery is wonderful. I'm not sure I like the form but I suppose that's just a matter of your own taste. The subject matter was interesting especially to someone who has gone through a flooded basement. But I like what you did with upstairs too. Great poem.
this is a charming piece. I enjoyed every moment of it. It flows well. Only a few spelling mistakes could I find wrong with it. I think it's soldier and burden. I could be wrong but check it out. Let me know when you fix the spelling and I'll give you a 5.
This could be a great poem. Found a few little things. 7th line from the bottom you wrote thought instead of though. I think it could be better if you could get rid of some of the I's. It's too repetitive. A lot of times you can take it out and it doesn't change the meaning of the sentence. Well just my opinion. I found it so sad and I give you credit for talking from the heart.
I liked this poem a lot. Only one fault to find in the sixth sentence. You said neither or but I do believe it would be neither nor. Only my opinion. I liked the ending too.
This was a wonderful poem and a wonderful tribute. Said so eloquently. I loved the form the flow. The way it made me feel sadness for this person. I'd give you 6 stars if I could. I'd also be happy to mention it to a friend. I wish I knew more about Chinaski.
Bravo on a marvelous poem.
This is a great poem and I liked it very much.I wish you would have capitalized the beginning of the sentences though.It made me feel sad. Well written and the poetry flows nicely. I especially liked the last stanza. Weeping with the water seeping in between us. Wow that is good.Good luck with your poem.
Patty
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