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131 Public Reviews Given
132 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review by PATTY
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a fine poem. I liked the rhyme scheme. It is a great tribute to her. You said you didn't know what she looked like. Was she an online friend? I feel that the last stanza could us a little work. Somehow to get the 2 smiles into 1. Actually it doesn't really matter. This is good work and I would recommend you to a friend.

Patty
52
52
Review of Optimism  
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Paul, I really liked your poem al lot. There were a couple of indentures I would have left out. The word rhyme is misspelled. Other than that I think it is a fine poem and should do very well. Thanks for the optimism I needed it today.I especially liked the last 2 lines. Good luck with this one.

Patty
53
53
Review of Day Dawning  
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked this poem a lot. It only had one little problem that bothered me. In two of the stanzas you are writing about song birds. I think it would be better if you could change one of these to something else, it's a little redundant. Mostly I wouldn't change anything else. It's a really nice poem.

Patty
54
54
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked this poem a lot. Beautiful words. An elegant endeavor. It makes me want to read more of your work. Congratulations on a fine poem.

Patty
55
55
Review of Standing There  
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked this poem very much. Short and sweet. I wish you would have capitalized the I's
No matter it's still a wonderful poem.
56
56
Review by PATTY
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
You know I really like this poem inspite of many problems. It has great possibilities.

First of all you use the word tonight way too many times. It's unnecessary. The word

tiny used 3 times in one stanza and then again in the next stanza. In the last staza

you start 4 lines with the word The. I wish I could rewrite this for you because it's

a smashing poem with a little work.
57
57
Review of Who Are You?  
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (3.5)
This could be a really good poem with a little tweaking here and there. You have 5

lines in a row that begin with A. I feel it would be much better to just keep one of the

A's and leave out the rest. It did make me stop and think who am I really and that

is a good thing . You also have as worm as the blood on your hands. I think you meant

warm. Keep at it it's getting there. Nice poem just the same.

Patty
58
58
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the idea of this poem. I wish I would have thought of it. There were a couple of

bumps in it and the word nre. However I do feel it was a worthwhile effort and with a

little tweaking could become a 5. I give you a lot of credit for the clever idea.

Patty
59
59
Review of Trail of Tears #2  
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked this very much. It brings back a time in history that us white men would rather

forget. The American Indians were cheated out of their lands and I think it was

wrong,but here I am a white woman living in America. The greatest country in the

world. Your poem was well written and I hope it gets across your message.

Best wishes on a fine poem.

Patty
60
60
Review of Young Girl  
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great poem and a great tribute.You have done a marvelous job. The only thing that sort of rubs me wrong is your using us in the last 2 lines of the poem. I think it would sound better if you left off the us in left us and just left left. Doesn't really take away the fact that you've written a marvelous poem. Bravo!
61
61
Review of Moon  
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a great read. I liked it a lot. I can tell from this that you are really intelligent.
I'm not sure I would have broken up the lines the way you have. But it really doesn't matter. This made for good reading material and I would recommend it to a friend.
Keep on writing I enjoyed it very much.
62
62
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked this a lot . It has many good qualities and invokes a feeling of sympathy. I just noticed one little mistake. In the first line of the last stanza you have this spelled theis.
Congratulations on a great poem.
63
63
Review of My Uncle's Will  
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked this poem a lot. It was very creative and funny too. I liked the ending the best. it made me laugh. Congratulations on a fine poem.
64
64
Review by PATTY
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thought this was a marvelous poem. The rhyme didn't seem forced to me. I found it to be intellectual and creative. I love how it begins and how it ends. I don't find any areas that need improvement. I think it is a fine poem just as it stands. Ialso like the title it fits the poem to a t . Congratulations on a fine write.
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