Dear C. J. Sayer,
What a good chapter--you did everything an author should do in the first chapter, especially catching thier attention. However, I did notice some mistakes and I will now list them off. First, in the dialogue, you have some problems with missing commas. Second, there should be a comma, not a period, between the dialogue and dialogue tags. Third, your capitalization of "witch" is irregular; sometimes you capitalize it, sometimes you don't.
Sincerly,
Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Paleon Panther needs REVIEWS,
Your description of the action and setting are really good; I could see everything clearly--especially the snow gryphon. However, you did forget to capitalize the "he" after Dalton's second line of dialogue. In addition, "into" and "hindquarters" are one word, not two as you wrote them, and you have a run-on sentence in the paragraph about the whiskey.
Sincerly,
Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Papa G,
Although I found this story interesting because of its blend of history, crime and the supernatural and read it to the end, I found a whole bunch of capitalization, punctuation and spelling mistakes. I hope this criticism doesn't anger you.
Sincerly,
Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear culmo80,
Wow, what an original idea to have a single man seduced by a vampire. I also loved how you made it seem like it was a ghost at first but then slowly gave clues that revealed it was a vampire.
Now for the criticism. First, you unnessecarily capitalize "she" a couple of times. Second, you should replace all the synonyms of "said" with "said" and let the dialogue speak for itself.
Sincerly,
Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Richard Vance,
Wow, what a beautiful poem. I love the rhyme scheme but in one instance at the beginning it isn't followed; you forgot to rhyme something else with "more". You also have some irregular capitalization of the first letter of the first word of each line. In addition, in the third to last line, you placed a semicolon where there should be a colon.
Sincerly,
Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear J. A. Buxton,
Oh my goodness this short story is so hysterical; I was laughing as I read and love it now that I'm finished. In addition, I didn't find any capitalization, grammar, punctuation or spelling mistakes.
Sincerly,
Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Elven Unitar,
I like the plot and this beginning really catches the readers' attention quickly. However, the plot seems to be going a bit too fast and your description is telling rather than showing. In addition, what you put in parenthenses in the dialogue should be in brackets.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Dennis Cardiff,
I've never read lyrics based on a real person before but now that I have I find it really interesting. However, I do think you should change some of the commas into semicolons but then that's just my point of view.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Jerry Powell,
Not to be rude but although you put this in the "Satire" genre, it was more sad than humorous to me but then that's just my personal opinion. In addition, you forgot the hyphen in "so-called" and the sentences about the industrious prospering and the humans giving up is a run-on; it should either be ended wtih a period and be two sentences or a semicolon and be one.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear marlenemania,
I don't intend to be rude, offensive or harrassing but I find this essay impossible to understand--mainly because of the unusual style and punctuation mistakes, which the poem is riddled with. I hope I didn't anger you because by criticizing your writing I just hope to help you improve it.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Marlenemania,
Although I really like and agree with the message you state in this poem, you really need to look at the usage of commas, periods and semicolons. Plus, you could also remove some of the quotation marks.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear askpaddy,
Although I was expecting the bedroom part to be a movie or play scene, it is still interesting. Yet I thought the best part was where Janet complains about the garlic and threatened Ken if he didn't do something about it. However, you do have a problem with the capitalization of "thank", "mum" and "bank" and all the dialoge is missing the commas at the end.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear commiemao,
You did a really good job at making the magical side of Word War II really realistic. However, I did notice some mistakes. First, you should look up the proper usage of brackets, capitalization, commas, parenthenses and semicolons because some of them are used improperly. Second, whenever you use exclaimation points, you use two, which is improper, instead of one, which is proper.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear jackrawlings,
Oh my goodness this is hysterical. I love how you used double entrades. However, I did notice two mistake. First, in the last line of dialogue you improperly capitalized "son". Second, I don't know what four letter verb you're referring to since "intercouse" is a noun.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear J. A. Buxton,
Oh my goodness! This is such a hysterical short story! Fred is or was such a mischeivious cat! I loved the part about him attacking you while you talk on the phone. I didn't find any spelling, punctuation, gramar and/or capitalization errors.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear L. A. Powell,
I really like how you compare evil to a latent virus in this poem; it's a very original symbolism. However, I do have a couple of suggestions for improvement. First, the comma at the end of the first line of the first stanza should be a semicolon. Second, the clause enclosed in commas in the first line of the second stanza would look better if separated from the main clause by dashes/
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Jerry Powell,
Oh my goodness this is so hilarious and original! I love it! The only suggestions for improvement I have are: removing the italicization of some of the dialogue, checking the usage of capitalization, commas and "that"s and changing the "Entertainment" genre to "Animal".
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear georgiawill,
I don't intend to be rude, offensive or harassing but although I find the subject of this poem it somehow kind of confuses me. In addition, the comma in the first line would look better as a semicolon and the period in the second line would be better as a dash. I hope I didn't anger you with these criticism because I'm simply trying to help you improve your writing.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear kam2the101,
The plot of this short story is interesting but seems really rushed. In addition, you have a whole bunch of capitalization adn puncuation mistakes and some spelling mistakes. Moreover, you have so much cursing you should raise it to "18+".
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Richard T. Clark,
This is an excellent poll. I like the idea and didn't find any gramatical, punctuation and/or spelling mistakes. In addition, I like what you put in the last option so people who didn't want to vote could see the results anyway.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Armadillo,
Even though I disagree with some of the things you say in this poem I think you did a good job at saying them. However, you'll definately want to look at the capitalization of words that aren't the first word of the sentence or verse or emphasized. In addition, "windbag" is one word.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear dadakay,
This is a really good beginning because you get the plot going at just the right speed. However, I did notice some mistakes. First, you forgot to capitalize "A.M." and "Here Comes the Bride". Second, you forgot the quotation marks around the first line of dialogue in the first paragraph.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear dadakay,
I don't intend to be harrassing, offensive or rude but although you've got a great start to this except, the ending seems a bit clipped even for an excerpt. In addition, you have a lot of commas that shouldn't be there. I hope you don't take this criticism the wrong way.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear rfgraham,
I like this part as much as I did the first but I did notice some mistakes. First, since the people in this memoir curse, you should raise the rating from "E" to "+13". Second, you have some commas where there should be semicolons. Third, you have a period where there should be a comma. Fourth, you have a problem with some unnecessary capitalization.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear georgiawill,
I like this haiku because although it's brief it really gets across its point. However, I do have one suggestion for improvement. Although I know haikus sometimes have to do things improperly in English because they're a Japanese poetry form, I think it would look better if you capitalized "Dears" since it's the first word of a direct quotation.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
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