Dear maria-n,
This short story is hilarious and I love it because of that and it's about a cat. However, I did notice a whole bunch of punctuation mistakes--especially the omission of double quotation marks around the dialogue. In addition, I think you might have forgotten to put spaces between the elpsises.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear stormlyht,
Although I don't intend to be harrassing, offensive and/or rude, I mean it when I say this story is off to too slow a beginning. You need to get into the action a bit sooner to keep your readers interested. In addition, I noticed a whole bunch of punctuation mistakes.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear anta1974,
This is another one of your beautiful religious poems: I like it just as much as the last one I read. However, I did notice some mistakes. First, the second line of the first stanza is unintelligable because of its phrasing. Second, you have a whole bunch of punctuation problems.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear anta1974,
This is a beautiful poem. I love how you compare God's design of the world to art. However, I did notice a couple of mistakes. First, in the last line of the first stanza, you forgot to capitalize "His". Second, you left out all the punctuation, which makes it a bit difficult to read.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear poetryprincess,
I like this poem even though it describes the bad things that happen to you because I feel the same way even though I have a good life. However, I did notice some mistakes with the punctuation--particularly the commas.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Richard T. Clark,
This short story is interesting because I like England and history. However, I did notice some mistakes. First, you have split some words into two when there supposed to be one or joined by a hyphen. Second, you have some problems with unnessecary commas. Third, you use single quotation marks to enclose the dialogue instead of double quotation marks.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Froogetywoog,
This fanfiction is an interesting piece because it explores the possiblities of what will happen if Harry doesn't defeat Voldermort. However, I did notice some mistakes with the capitalization and punctuation. But, other than that, it was good because the concequences were really plausible so let me know when you have more.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear maria-n,
This is an interesting monologue about your pet rabbits during spring, thier mating season. However, I did notice a couple of mistakes. Fist, you have a few unnessecary hyphens. Second, you forgot the "a" in "weather".
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Kimichi,
These lyrics are a beautiful description of the Pagan community but I did notice some punctuation mistakes--especially with the commas. In addition, as in another of your lyrics I read, rated and reviewed, your capitalization is irregular.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Kimchi,
These lyrics are an entertaining and interesting explaination of the Wiccan Rede for children. However, I did notice two mistakes. First, there's a comma in the penultimate line of the first group of lines where there should be a semicolon. Second, you forgot to capitalize the first letter of the first word of the first line in some while you do in others.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear radioshea,
I like this story even though it has a sad ending because it shows how much the two main characters care for each other. However, I did notice some unnessecary commas, problems with the colon usage and two fragments. I also think you should change one of the genres to "Romance/Love".
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear erich_1,
It is always interesting to read history and reminisces but, and I don't intend to be harrassing, offensive or rude, you have a whole bunch of mistakes with the gramar and punctuation. You also have a few fragments in the first paragraph.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Shining_Darkness,
Although this poem has a sad subject, the aftermath of a breakup, I like it. However, I did notice a whole bunch of gramatical--particularly with the tense and plurals--and punctuation--especially inappropriate and missing--mistakes.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Shining_Darkness,
I like how you begin this book by having the main character narrate it as a spirit after death. However, I do have a couple of suggestions for improvement. First, in the two chapters you have a whole bunch of fragments and punctuation mistakes. Second, you have it in two genre; I suggest a third, "Death".
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Davy Snaken,
It was a wonderful idea for you to creat an in & out for people to put thier essays in. However, I did notice a couple mistakes in the introduction. First, you have some problems with unnessecary comma usage. Second, you have some unnessecary "that"s.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear m_evergreen,
This is an interesting short story even though I'm not very interested in vampires. However, I did notice some mistakes. First, you have a couple of double negatives. Second, you have some unnessecary commas. Third, you have some unnessecary "that"s. Fourth, you have some said-bookisms.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Ariella Will MarNoWriMo,
This short story is a haunting and sad vision of how Neville will feel if Harry tells him the prophecy before he dies in the final battle. However, I did notice some mistakes. First, you have some fragments. Second, you have an unnessecary comma.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Nylsaj Nomis,
Although this is a beautiful poem, I noticed several mistakes. First, it would look better if the penultimate line of the first stanza went "Why ask me for water, sir? Are you so blind?" Second, in the first line of the second stanza, you have a hyphen where there should be a dash. Third, in the first line of the last stanza, you're missing the apostrophe in "Jacob's". Fourth, why did you put it in the "Family" genre?
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear KC has a Demon Cat,
Although this is an interesting article, I did notice some problems. You've got a whole bunch of problems with the capitalization--especially, its abscence where it should be and its presence where it shouldn't be.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear KC has a Demon Cat,
This is an interesting article but I noticed a whole bunch of mistakes. First, you've got a whole bunch of punctuation mistakes with the commas and semicolons. Second, I think you should reread your sources because to my knowledge Fenrir was a wolf born from Loki.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Ren King,
I love this collection of poems although I had the same idea but hadn't carried it out yet. I didn't find any gramatical, punctuation or spelling mistakes and I really idenified with you and your feelings when I read the first poem, "When I Was Young".
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear winklett awakened,
This is a mysterious but intriguing poem. However, you have a whole bunch of problems with the punctuation--especially the lack of--and, in addition to this, the irregular capitalization makes it difficult to read and understand.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear italychica,
This poem is another good one about the personal and sensitive subject of suicide. However, I did notice a couple of mistakes. First, the first two lines are a fragment. Second, you have unnessecary commas; some where there should be no punctuation at all, others where there should be a semicolon.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Steffy J. The Writer,
This chapter is a wonderful addition to your novel. However, I did notice some mistakes. First, you have it in the static item category of "Fiction"; it would be better in "Chapter". Second, you have some said-bookisms. Third, you still have the problems with unnessecary commas and "that"s, although not as much. Fourth, you have one problem with unnessecary capitalization.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Dear Steffy J. The Writer,
This is a wonderful prologue to your novel. However, I did notice a couple of mistakes. First, you have some problems with the punctuation--especially, the commas and periods. Second, you have a whole bunch of unnessecary "that"s.
Sincerly, Beatrix Amber Robinson
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/australorp/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.57 seconds at 7:08pm on May 04, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
