Marionette manipulated by your condition, the strings that control you. The chilling scenes appearing in your mind causing you to fight is your ability to survive. Don't give up. Trust in him who can defeat Satan. All is possible through him.
Good poem great subject. Writing poetry can be, and many times is full of emotion and intrigue. For the readers benefit punctuation lets the reader know the writers feelings. It brings a level of understanding of emotion being expressed by the writer to the reader.
It is your poem and you can do as you please. It is my feeling that if its worth taking the time to write it its worth using good writing principles. Keep writing.
Nice poem but somehow lonely. As I picture you eating alone as you think about your girl friend. Even the grandfather clock play's a part in the memory of your love. As you sit there alone the absence of your girl friend enhances your remembrances of her grace and beauty.
This piece seems to be saying goodbye with no visits in the future. It leaves me feeling like there is no friendship to pursue. It also looks as though this message is one sentence with nine commas.
I like your flash fiction. It's well written, except for its beginning. The story seems to come from nowhere, kind of like walking into a theater after the movie has been running for ten or fifteen minutes or so.
It would be interesting to see where you could take your story if you spent a little more time with it. It sounds like a good children's story, you could attach a moral of the story as a teaching moment.
Nice poem, good subject. good meter and rhyme. Balanced with two stanzas describing what love is not, and one and a half stanzas describing what love is like. Good job.
Nice poem, good subject. Your poem could be put into stanzas for a little better presentation. The line that says: Her wings spread across the sky like the stars in outer space. Could be said better.
Like an Eagle she see's all. Bird of prey that she is, she see's all that threatens us, and like a guardian she cry's out at impending danger. Just a thought. Remember this is your poem.
Nice poem. I love that time of year when every creature is getting ready for winter. It seems as you are painting a picture of your experience, great description. Well written.
Good poem, I hate the subject, as insomnia is no friend of mine either. Your Rhyme and meter are just right. The poem is very well written and enjoyable. Well done.
The one good thing about being awake when everyone else is sleeping is, sometimes good writing ideas strike in the midst of all that quiet.
Good poem. Well written, nice rhyme and meter. I loved the way you described the dark night as the bolt of lighting ripped the sky wide open. Your description made me feel like I was there waiting for a tree to crash through the roof. Very good.
Nice poem, always a good subject. There once was a song with the title "good morning star shine".
I enjoyed your poem, however it is written completely without punctuation. I see this a lot. When reading a piece without punctuation and not knowing the author it is hard to feel the passion or the lack there of. Its your poem and I suppose you can do as you please, as will I while reviewing your piece.
Nice poem and a great subject. God and his plan for our salvation is an awesome thought. He is always present; what a concept. It always upsets me when people say they are offended by the mention of him or his Son Jesus Christ. I hope you continue to speak of his attributes.
Given some thought this could be a good poem. In the beginning of your poem it seems that you are more or less making a list of your pet peeves. The first line you write is "They say we are satanic". Who are they? And by the way what is an EMO?
As far as I can see there is only one punctuation mark in your whole poem. Please don't think I'm picking on you, but knowing how to write in a manor that people can understand is beneficial to all concerned. Punctuation is a way to let the readers of your poem know how you feel about what your saying.
Take some time and read a few poems, take notice of the way that they are laid out. For example using stanzas help. Stanzas look somewhat like uniform paragraphs. Stanzas can help you organize your thoughts. Punctuation marks tell the reader how you want the piece read and so on.
Nice poem, good subject. In the second stanza third line you write "But so many tries yield very few fish" It might be better to say: So many tries yield very few fish. I ended the sentence at very few fish. You might still wish to use what I think is your intended sentence, but I am confused by the use of a capital letter on the word on. could be that the computer put it there, however its incorrect. In the last stanza the last word is gourds. As a fisherman myself I've never used a gourd, did you mean guard?
Over all I enjoyed your poem. As always it is your poem and you may do as you please with it, as will I as I complete my review.
Nice work, great short story. Lots of passion. Very well written. The first paragraph grabs the attention of the reader and holds it. Your description of the love scene was tastefully done.
The story line was captivating and held my interest in what happens next?
You did a good job describing the boat and the surroundings giving me a mental picture, which added to the flow of the story.
Good write!
Writer Chuck
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