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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/coconutfern
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8 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of I want to write!  
Review by Coconut Fern
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought this was very well written, but not necessarily true...
Anyone can write if they work at it. You don't need to have an excessively flowery style--in fact, that is a bad thing. And you don't need to use words that people have to look up in the dictionary, you just need to use the right word that conveys what you are trying to say. Often, using big words is just confusing and takes away from the flow of the story.
By writing this, clearly you aren't a bad writer.
Even if you decide you can't write stories, you can still write nonfiction, which requires the simple clarity and documentation of facts which you said were bad things, but really aren't.
No matter what, if you want to write, you should write, even if you never get published
Good luck with your writing!
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Review by Coconut Fern
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this story! I liked the characters, the description, and especially the creative setting. I thought it was very creative for you to have a mysterious, futuristic version of Texas.
One thing I thought was confusing was switching between past tense and past tense with "had", such as "walked" and then "had thought", when the time had not changed.
Another thing you could do differently is not blatantly tell the reader so much. For example, when they fell through the floor, a reader would naturally figure out that saying "great" was sarcastic, so it isn't necessary to say "she said sarcastically"
Also, it isn't always necessary to use fancy words instead of said. For example, "I wonder what is down there?" is clearly an example of pondering, so it isn't necessary to say so. If it is something ambiguous, like saying "Great" could be shouted, muttered, etc, then it is good to say so.
I really enjoyed the magic, mysterious room and the book. I can't wait for more chapters!
Good job with your story, and keep writing!
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Review by Coconut Fern
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed reading this poem! It was really funny, especially the ending.
There are just a couple things I would change. The first stanza was okay, but the last line "He'd be somebody, yes he would" seemed a little awkward. Also, "he even knew the golden rule" is good for rhythm and rhyming, but it isn't extremely school related.
Otherwise, this poem was wonderful! Everything rhymed correctly, and it had good rhythm too. Many poems are so preoccupied with rhyme that they don't have a good rhythm, but your poem did not have this problem!
Good job, and I hope you keep writing.
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