I love this nature poem! Very reflective. It is wondrous to think about how God made all of creation and it is all different and wonderful! Keep writing!
True--those were not the best years in government. I am not sure that the current heads are either. You never know what you are voting in. Seriously!
Good verses. Keep writing!
Good writing! The only grammatical error I saw was the use of "your" for you are (should be you're). I always notice things like that.
Otherwise very good thoughts! Keep writing!
I was really impressed by your writing, Ben. The way you describe things--settings, women, even your car. I love how you use the word "contralto" to describe Janice's voice. I also noticed the way you described the "Williams Pear Brandy" to Janice. It sounded just like my husband. Always trying to impress people, me in particular, with his knowledge of things and how they are made. I loved it!
With my husband being formal military, I have a fondness of such things and I personally love men that write from the heart. He writes also, but I only sometimes get to read and/or proofread. He is sometimes private about his experiences (in Iraq).
From the female perspective, I truly enjoyed reading your words. I think other women might equally enjoy reading it, not just men.
I love reading memoirs too. I am actually working on my own this year. I hope you can also give me some feedback when I post some of it. It is a slow work in progress.
Ohhh! I like this story! I love to picture the scene as I read. I can truly imagine it! Sounds like a summer fling I had once.
There are hundreds of things you cannot learn from books! And I know that recently for myself.
It was a good idea to not go against a friend. Good for you! But I find myself thinking that what you described happened was still cheating. I find that lots of people have differing opinions of that too. No harm done!
I love your writing! Keep it up!
I really enjoyed this poem! I am always drawn to nature. I love reading about it, watching it and writing about it myself. I also like how nature surprises me continually. I do not look at the leaves much when it is spring and they are bright green, but come October...I longingly look at them to change and surprise me with each color and multicolor markings. My favorite time of the year!
I just read about you on your portfolio. I am heading to your website to check out more of your work.
Thanks! And I know you will keep writing! I am glad!
I really like this poem! I also enjoy rain, especially after it is so hot. I love the last verse where you suggest you and your wife go outside naked in it. That would be hard to do. But sounds fun in this poem! :)
We have rain today and it has made things a little cooler than I like so I understand about it being a nuisance as well.
Keep writing! I love your style!
I like this poem! The only thing is the repetition of "when I think of you" which is only my opinion. I get the point of using it over and over though. Keep writing!
I love this poem! Very real and emotional and dear to my heart! I also had two preemies...29 weeks and 30 weeks gestation. Both are great and healthy now. I feel extremely fortunate to have been at a place where the doctors knew beyond what I expected and the nurses cared for me and my babies like we were family. Similar experience both times. I read your bio and I want to thank you for all you do as well! We live miles apart, but I have no doubt you must care for babies and their families on a daily basis and build friendships that are based on that care. Reading your poem reminds me of my journeys with my two tiny girls. Bless you and your family as they grow! And keep writing!
I like this poem! It is very real and orderly. Friends, lovers, partners then death. I love the three words...Capture (like stealing one's heart), Rapture (like you feel like you are flying), and Fracture (like you are broken when your best friend/partner dies). That is the way I understood it anyway. Thanks for recreating life's moments in a short poem. Beautiful!
I can see you ARE very passionate about your work! My husband is a Paramedic and Instructor. We rarely go anywhere together where he does not know someone from work. I really enjoyed your reviews of my writing and got curious about your writing. Most of these terms I know from my husband's studies. Writers do need to write what they know and feel and I now know you do just that! Good job!
This is a very emotional and honest writing. I can tell it was straight from the heart. Whether you actually sent this person a letter or not, it is a great idea to let those you admire know how you feel. It could change their lives!
Good writing! I look forward to reading more of your work.
I really like this short story. It shows true emotion on the man's part but then he has to find himself. Brilliant! Many women, I think, dwell in their breakups way too long and get depressed. This shows a story of a man being delicate, dedicated and emotionally attached to this woman, doing all he can do to please her and then realizing some cannot be pleased no matter what the effort. In the end, he finds true happiness comes from finding yourself. Great writing! Keep it up!
An interesting excuse letter. I like it! Just wondering why there are intentional misspelled words? I am always bothered by misspelled words. But that is your choice. I really liked how you had a brief response from the family at the bottom.
Best of luck to you and your writing!
I really liked this short story. The boy reminds me of Huck Finn. A very important detail in your story to me is that his parents wanted him to be a farmer and he knew he was a dreamer. I try to stress to my girls while they are young that they can be what they want and strive for. I think so many parents assume or get too pushy about making that decision for their kids. This story is very intriguing! Nice work! Grammar looks good too.
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