Well done! This little message between friends is both heart warming and inspiring as are all of the graphics that have been included. This is a visual delight! Clearly this is a message from one heart to another give with a most sincere love. Very well done!
This is very nicely done it appeals to the senses as well as the emotions. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. It does read very much like a recollection from your own life placed into a short-story setting. Speaking of setting, the home comes through quite nicely as did the "family snuggle." The colors of the tulip was a nice touch. I had an encounter with a tulip myself when I was that age. My aunt said I ate hers. Anyway, I digress. This is a great job, nicely done!
OH WOW! This takes my breath away. It is a snapshot, a moment suspended in time for our analysis captured with all of the emotion coming through to the reader. This is so real, it is a poem and it is a story and both very well done. I can not offer any constructive criticism because, at least in my humble opinion this is perfection!
This captivating poem takes my breath away! The short bullet-type format gives an impression of time passing and yet this is a moment held in time and obviously a cherished memory. There is a rhythm that moves smoothly. There are no grammatical or spelling problems that i saw. This is a very nicely done poem. Welcome to WDC and WRITE ON!
I really appreciate your poem. It has a quiet authority to it. I do not see any problems with grammar or spelling. I do clearly see the heart of an American citizen and the feelings the symbol that is our flag evokes. Your poem is both heart warming and thought provoking. I truely enjoyed reading it. WRITE ON!
I truly enjoyed this engaging story. It is a well constructed and well defined story. The characters are equally well developed. There are no grammatical or spelling problems that I could see.
I especially love how you blended story with poem to come up with the process this singer/songwriter used to write his song.
Love lost because of perceived sacrifice that was really unfaithful acts on his part. There is so much in this story, thank you for sharing it! WRITE ON!
This is a job very well done! Your writing is clear and so is your message. There is a nice flow with no choppiness and there is a good rhythm. No spelling or grammar problems. Your imagery is excellent and I just love the picture you have painted here.
This list is both insightful and interesting. Certainly it is well thoughout. If followed each of these points will go a long way toward polishing up that piece you have labored over for some time. To be sure this list should be reviewed periodically by all authors of all levels of skill. Thanks for sharing it. Well done and write on!
As one of Santa's special helpers, I thank you for writing this wonderful and warm little piece. Your central character is believable and well done for the purposes of this diary entry. I found that the story unfolds and flows smoothly to its conclusion. No spelling or grammatical problems. This is very well done, heart warming and touches the soul.
This story is very nicely done. While i will leave the obvious moral issues and political issue out of my review, I found Davena to be a well developed character. Her predicament was curious and I believe was the hook that kept me reading this medium-long short story. I saw no grammatical or spelling errors. Her emotions in the form of fears and frustration was coming through quite well. Ryan was not a point-of-view character. Also I noted no shifts in point of view. The story progresses smoothly from start to finish without gaps in the action. There is a nice balance of dialogue and description. Well done! Write on!!!
This is an interesting narrative. It has good story elements and a nice twist at the end. Ideally i would like to see the rats and or the narrator having a bit more characterization but you were restricted in the number of words you could have. Still, all in all a nice little "tale" (pardon the pun, couldn't be helped).
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This is a brilliant idea for a contest. The forum page is excellent and features colorful graphics. The rules are spelled out clearly and there is no ambiguity. The concept is absolutely brilliant and is no doubt lots of fun. I would recommend that everybody get involved in this wonderful concept if not in the writing, then perhaps in the sponsoring of this great idea!
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This was a nice read. It is a "warm-fuzzy" piece. This is also a nice exercise in point of view and it well portrays the Shylyn character and actually gives life to her. I particularly enjoyed her wonderment in "what was he saying?" This was entertaining and it holds attention well. This was well worth the time to read and review. Great job! Write on!
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Well there is nothing "Awkward" here, if you will excuse the little word play. I found this to be entertaining, perhaps enchanting.
I didn't find any misspellings or bad grammar and there were no punctuation errors.
What there is is an interesting glimpse into the mental process of a person whose second language is English trying to present her art in an English-only forum. Truly a remarkable feat all by itself! There are so many here at WDC and they all do so very well with our language!
I guess I enjoyed the differents snips from her stories. Characterization was good. All in all a nice sampling.
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As you have represented this is a very complex subject. It is obvious that your ideas have been well thought out, organized and presented in a logical manner.
You do make a convincing case for your belief. One thing is clear, although man is created in God's image and yes, there are laws govening the universe, God's nature is probably beyond man's comprehension and therefore we have multiple religions and schisms trying to present their images of God, i.e. Buddhists, Christians, Muslims, etc. Some are expressions of the same God from a different point of view and some are radically different.
It is good that you gave references for your point of view so that readers may look into it further.
I found your work thought provoking if anything. I saw no grammatical or spelling problems.
Ohhh, this was a delicious little snack! What a great story! And a great character, a dark fairy! I really enjoyed her voice and the pace at which she conducted the story.
A dark fairy is an interesting concept, although this story begs the question of what would it take to entice a fairy to sell its soul to the Gatekeeper? I think you may have an encore pre-quel to tell!
I did not detect any grammatical or spelling problems (of course).
There are no plot problems. The story progresses at a nice pace and length.
This report is excellent! I particularly enjoy the idea that this is an expert report on the details of messages possibly hidden within the words and between the lines so to speak.
The style and tone of this excerpt is certainly that of an expert postulating an opinion and the expert begins an analysis that shed some light on the author of the poem without giving away much information at all.
No spelling or grammatical problems were detected.
There is a nice hook that leads the reader to want more.
Also the poem itself is very nicely done as well and does seem to have something to say "between the lines."
All in all I truly enjoyed this. Your scholarly expert is quite believable and I do look forward to further reading.
I truly enjoyed reading this. I have only a few minor problems with it: I would really like to see some paragraph separations. I notice toward the end several times you use "i" it is not capitalized. Also thaere is at least one reference to "lord" that should be capitalized.
Other than that I believe the characterization is nicely done. I really empathized with the lady and her cart.
I truly hope you continue to work on this, it is really good as it is it just needs some minor tweaks!
As I hold a special place in my heart for the homeless I was attracted to your poem. Thank you for sharing it.
I find that the piece progresses smoothly with not rough spots.
I believe that you have caught some of the emotions of frustration and hopelessness and have outlined just a few of the problems that come with homelessness.
No grammtical problems, just one misspelling, "payed" should have been "paid."
Great work! And welcome to WDC!
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This really spoke to me about how caught up each of us are in our own thoughts and interests. I get the impression that this is written about the interaction of a woman and a man. She is trying to express her feelings and feels as if he is deaf. She seems to try each and every thing in her arsenal but resigns herself and gives up believing that all people are too wrapped up in themselves.
I get the impression that the one she is communicating to is rather stoic and she can not tell if he is listening.
This is a nice tight little package. There are no wasted words, they all do their work nicely. There is much frustration and possibly an underlying rage tht is communicated as well.
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This communicates so many feelings and there is so much more communicated that only what the words say. This is dynamically written. I truly enjoyed reading it, several times actually.
This apparently represents a woman who was going to give herself to someone but regretted the choice and changed her mind because what she found was not really love at all.
This is very nicely done it seems to have a nice rhythm to it even though it is not meant to rhime. It does its job quite well. No wasted words or phrases. Great job!
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If you are looking for advice about writing horror then this is for you. This is a concise article that presents the subject in a straightforward and logical manner. It has interesting information on how this now departed author feels about horror writing and how they became involved with it. It is an interesting and entertaining article!
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This was both interesting and informative. The information presented begins with good background information and progresses logically to a nice conclusion. The information is also presented in a concise manner that is not belabored with unnecessary details but rather gives a nice overview on the subject. Nicely done! Write on!
I LIKE THIS! This says so much about the process and how we can loose the enjoyment of the art in over analyzing the mechanics. I got a chuckle by the scratched out word near the end. This clearly communicates a process. It also communicates that even though we should take our work seriously we should also focus on the enjoyment of a job well done.
This is fine just like it is but one possible suggestion to consider is perhaps to take this and extend it to portray the author as a person and the thoughts and feelings they experience in the process. Just my two cents worth for what its worth!
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