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Review Requests: ON
3,542 Public Reviews Given
4,119 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look at the title, premise, overall structure first. Then I see how it makes me feel. After that, I might comment on little errors which are easily fixed.
I'm good at...
Hmm. Well you'd have to ask the one being reviewed what that be.
Favorite Genres
Paranormal, spy/detective, sci-fi, romantic suspense (hey I'm female and entitled). documentary, psychological and more.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything too gorey depending on how it's done. I don't need every little detail.
Favorite Item Types
First tell me what an item type is. haha
Least Favorite Item Types
An item has to make sense even if it uses fantasy ideas.
I will not review...
I don't like where some writer crammed six long chapters into one item area. I also don't like it if the paragraphs are so long you lose your place reading it. If you don't want me to lose interest and give up, break it up into sections and link it to the next exciting chapters. Nobody wants to sit through a detailed story for hours without a break.
Public Reviews
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276
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Review of Overexposed  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Mirdee,

I just happened by your port and saw this. I became curious

What a funny little story. The dialogue felt real and the reactions also.

The premise is a rare experience, which literally caught the guy with his pants down or should I say missing.



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277
277
Review of Lone Wolf  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Nick Knight. I was just reading your story Lone Wolf.

I already read three chapters and am wanting more.

It is very easy to read and understand. It's format looks good too.

And you have dialogue. I do love dialogue, but you also have just enough exposition and some nice imagery, which let's us know what's going on. Your transitions are smooth also.

I loved finding this item. I don't know much about anthro animals but do appreciate a good read.
I like that you provided a link to the next chapters. Is there more?

I did find an error or two which can be easily fixed. I don't remember which chapter it was in. I think the word was well, but I think you meant we'll.

Thanks for the read.


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278
278
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Perry Ride,
This was an interesting article about coffee.
What wasn't covered was the benefits if drinking coffee.

I didn't know it had been banned in those countries mentioned.

Here in the usa they'd banned booze many years ago, but that just made people who enjoyed it want it more and ended up having it anyway, but not where
anyone could see. After a time they allowed it.

Wierd thing is during this pandemic. They closed churches but allowed the sale of liquor in liquor stores.

In other words it sends a message. You can drink yourself silly but you can't go to church. Crazy.

Back 5o the coffee issue, I like ut now and then. It's comforting to have a nice warm cup of coffee plus it has antioxidents in it.

In this article I saw no errors nor anything to fix.

Thanks for sharing.

.


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279
279
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello WD Wilcox,

I just noticed "The Man Who Was Not Himself"  [13+] in your port. I decided to read more. I wasn't disappointed.

This tells the story of a man who had everything yet have it up because he had a dream telling him to.


Vivid imagery here. Those last words say so much. : deformed dragon and, as it bent over me, it dripped decayed flesh and spittle upon my head.

The house in the jungle is where tension begins and ebbs them rises higher.

When I read that those demons were taking him apart then putting him together it made me laugh be ause I can imagine a kid fighting over a toy.

Good job. I liked it even if it had creepy parts. But you needed that.

Thanks for sharing.

I do not see anything requiring me to use my red pencil. Haha.


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280
280
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Linnann,

I happened to notice this story and gained interest as I read along.

There are a few errors, but nothing that can't be fixed easily if you wanted to. It's mostly comma errors. I edited my suggestions.
*Pencil*
You’d better go quickly to the great Wizard of Oz to help you(,) my dear!" cautioned Glenda.

Dorothy accompanied the portly, pint(-)sized mayor

"What do you mean(?)" gasped the Mayor(.)"
Removed the question mark, replaced it with a comma. and put the question mark after the word mean.

Here: but no one takes the red brick road!" Removed a.


I liked the choices of names for the Flylinx and how each name related to specific ones, therefore unique.

According to your prompt you have gave it an alternate ending and a positive one.

I could almost hear Dorothy speaking while reading the words. This all turned out nicely.

Please take what you wish of my review and ignore anything that you choose to.

Thanks for this fun and interesting read.





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281
281
Review of There Was Me  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello C. Harris,

I'm not good at poetry, but I do know what I like.

The formatting looks good.

The thoughts expressed reveals sadness yet this soul has inner strength even when feeling weak.

There is longing for what was. Hope that one day things will feel and be better. Choices we have to make one step at a time .

God knows the heart and knows us so well. It's as if God lives within us and everywhere.

Things don't always happen the way we want, when we want, or where we want, but surely will come to be.

Thanks for sharing.

God Bless. And Happy Easter.



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282
282
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QP doll,

I got a kick out of reading this. I had that uhoh feeling, yet the personas of these cats are hilarious as you portrayed them. At least nobody died. Haha

I read this part:
Eventually I see the door gradually open again. (I could almost hear the door creak open. Haha I'm thinking uhoh CujoKitty is on the loose again).

This was well written, timing was perfect and the actions felt real. I know quite well about the leg/ cat episode. I remember these feral kittens I tried to tame had decided my legs were trees to climb. Soon my legs lookedije pincushions minuses the pins!

Good read and well done. Loved it.
Thanks.




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283
283
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hello Soul mates call

I found another item and here to give suggestions to make things more clear in your item.

Below are the suggestions and if don't agree feel free to ignore whatever part you don't like.

Have you ever been in love , how does that feels(?) Is it a good feeling or bad, (or) may be something between.

* was a housewife before and later worked as an assistant, giving a review on a book which somehow relates to her life. She also found her soulmate as the book continues while flipping through the pages.

There were more places where a word was missing. I'm thinking this might be because english might be a second language for the writer. I could be wrong.

Still the idea cones across to love all and appreciate all.

Thanks for sharing.





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284
284
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Soulmates call,

I saw your item on a wdc and decided to have a closer look.

The item gives a perspective about soulmates. It explains how people react and also that love lives on. It gives advice of what to know when you need to grieve and how to get through it. It's written fairly well, but some places needed editing to make it more clear. Here are my suggestions below.

You're welcome to take what works for you and ignore what doesn't.
***

First I noticed that your first paragraph is very long
I would break it up.

Next I noticed you didn't have a line space between some of the paragraphs.

Also here are places I felt needed changing:

*We all have someone within our lives, we never wanna want to be apart from

* No maters matter
who they are, we have close relationships with them.

* Relaxed in their company, We love to hang out, laugh,with them share our stories with them, and may sometimes share gossip too.

* (Aside from) that, there is a saying that a blind (person) does realize what great blessing eyesight is.

* you can not cannot change a thing when it's done, move backward time. If your ego is stopping you from doing this(,) let it sink. I know you wouldn't want to regret it later. Every day many people die and most of them don't not from disease history, but die suddenly. I pray you will stay forever with your

* (For) the ones who have lost someone special to

I liked reading this item although it had a few unclear areas that need a small change. These are easily fixed so I suggested a few things.

Thanks for sharing.


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285
285
Review of My cat Helga  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Light in Mind,

I just read your story about Helga. It was such fun to read about your family's experience with your highness. :*)

Several things in this had me smiling and laughing too.

I didn't see any errors if there were any. I was too engrossed in Helga's antics.

The name Barkie surely fits for the neighbor dog. Haha.

The bed thing sounds about right. My Yorkies used to sleep all over the bed. I had several. I was literally surrounded. What was a surprise was when I was sleeping in my back and apparently my mouth was hanging open and I felt something moving inside my mouth.

Slowly I was becoming aware but not fully. There it was again. My eyes popped open and there's one of my dogs, staring me I'm the face and inspecting my tonsils with her tongue!

I sat uptight trying not to spit on anyhing. God only knows where her tongue has been. Since then I sleep in my side so I might be a bit safer. I have a pom/chi who sleeps with me now and often I'm afraid to move since it might disturb her.

Sadly, I no longer have any of my Yorkies with me. Their lives seem so short compared to ours.

Oh. I thought I was the only one that had conversations with my dog. Of course, they didn't answer any questions, but shut their eyes or looked away as if they were above such things or having a food coma.

Anyway it this story looks good, except I would break it up into paragraphs. And put a line space between them.

Thanks for sharing.


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286
286
Review of Losing you  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi write on,

This poem is truly a sad storeum of a lost love, yet there still is a yearning remaining for at least one.
Of all the things I have miss(ed) in life, not(h)ing can compare then (with) the thought of just losing you.


* There were parts that was a bit obscure.
Here:
know praying for hope can accomplish great worth(,) but the cruelty of sins only guarantees a living death.

* the above sounds like regret. Praying definitely helps, but without action things can grow stagnant.

*Bulletp* A voice of dreadful history can serve
no purpose to an ear that does not want to hear anymore.

* Are you sure she doesn't want to hear?

I feel the frustration. It's as if the person feels stuck and can't see to move through this one way or another. It sounds like change needs to happen so neither has to live in misery.

What I liked most about this is the expression of hurt, sadness, but the unrequited love. Yet this one loves regardless. Many people can relate to that for one reason or another.

Most people eventually change either by breaking it off and returning to whatever brought them happiness they had before, but some hold on for many years. Life is meant to be shared with a mutual long lasting love.

I'm giving this 4 stars mainly because of the expression. It has errors but those can be easily fixed. If you revise it, lete know.

Thanks for the read.


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287
287
Review of Losing you  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi write on,

This poem is truly a sad storeum of a lost love, yet there still is a yearning remaining for at least one.

* There were parts that was a bit obscure.
Here:
know praying for hope can accomplish great worth(,) but the cruelty of sins only guarantees a living death.

* the above sounds like regret. Praying definitely helps, but without action things can grow stagnant.

*Bulletp* A voice of dreadful history can serve
no purpose to an ear that does not want to hear anymore.

* Are you sure she doesn't want to hear?

I feel the frustration. It's as if the person feels stuck and can't see to move through this one way or another. It sounds like change needs to happen so neither has to live in misery.

What I liked most about this is the expression of hurt, sadness, but the unrequited love. Many people can relate to that for one reason or another.

Most people eventually change either by breaking it off and returning to whatever brought them happiness they had before, but some hold on for many years. Life is meant to be shared with a mutual long lasting love.

Thanks for the read.


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288
288
Review of Cooper  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello write on,

I noticed this in your port and I'm here to read and review. Please use what you wish of what I shared and ignore the rest. It is your story to tell.

*Pencil*

roam thrashing in too (into the) remaining (maybe--rapidly instead of remaining) declining daylight.

*Bulletp* clearly such a eventful evening when Cooper(,) the old blood hound(,) decided without thought

*Bulletp* Do you hear old Cooper(?) Look(!)
Can't you see his flashing nose light out there?"

(I'm not sure what a nose light is. Maybe Cooper had on one of those flashing dig collars on.)

*Bulletp* There were several places that needed commas.

But also I felt there were many areas using two descriptive words for one thing. It's okay unless you do this too often. Try using one word part of the time to describe whatever it is.

For example--into the rapidly declining daylight could be (into the twilight). as it says more with one word.

*Bulletp* also you spelled (folklore) as fork lore a few times.

As we saw Cooper explore the area then return to a familiar place. We also saw a beginning, middle, and end to your stoy.

*Idea* With just a few touches this will be a even better story.

Thank you for sharing.


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289
289
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Queen Owl,

I thought I might drop by your portfolio to see if I might find something to read and review. This one caught my eye.

First, I'd like to say the formatting looks good with appropriate line spacing between paragraphs.

The sentence length and rythm makes it easy for anyone to read and understand

The premise is a real one and one that anybody can relate to.

*Pencil* There were a few errors or areas I thought might need revision.

Here:
At this point, I refused to give them my SS# and I was arguing with the (M)anager in my refusal. I have heard enough about (I)dentity (T)hief (I think you meant identity theft. Uncapped)

There's a lot of places where words were capitalsed but used the way it is should be uncapped.

I just wanted to say that Dean Winchester is a character in the tv series Supernatural.

I get scams often usually it's somebody sounding like they're native language is of India. Somehow they'd gotten my phone number when I had a computer (more than likely through Google).

At first I thought it was a joke but they kept calling a out it having 32 viruses.

When I wouldn't let them have access they started threatening me saying I would be arrested. And somebody was coming to my home right now.

I tried shaming them, I tried telling them I have no computer.

Finally, I told them I'd report them to the authorities. I even thought about buying a whistle for when they call to blow into the phone. I didn't though. No way we're they going to scam me out of money.

I heard these people are not even in the usa so it's harder to prosecute them. They work as a group.

To this day I still get people sending me text messages trying to give me money or send a package and even their spelling sucks. So you can tell they are t legit. I delete and ignore them. They use another number and I block it. It never stops. The best we can do is be aware of these information thieves. And not give them anything they can use against us.

That being said your shared experience reveals these tricksters.

Thanks for sharing.


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290
290
Review of Seven things  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Sinbad

I just read your item.
This is excellent and can apply to just about anyone.

It's not always easy to stay strong but we can also accept that we are imperfectly perfect.

I wish I could print this out but have no way to do that.

Just today someone was talking about a relative that had said b why me?

And blamed others for thier dilemma.

As for your item there are no errors and it's perfect the way it is.

Thanks for sharing.


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291
291
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Norman

I just found this item in your portfolio.

The title fits.
The premise works well and is inspiring, and
your rhyming is just right.
Format looks good also.
This has a beginning, middle. and end.

*Pencil* There is nothing to change in this. It's perfect as is.

Other comments: I really loved this little story within a poem. I like how unexpected things occur yet might be a miracle.

Thank you for sharing.


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292
292
Review of Don't Trust Cupid  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Forever Dreamer This looks good on the page and I didn't see any errors. You have some good rhyming going on

This is something most people can relate to as at one time or a other we get burned.
I hate it when that happens.

Thanks for the read.


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293
293
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dragonfly

I'm glad you put this up on your port. Sometimes our impromptu efforts are really nice lyrics written.

I really like this
little story.

I did find an area that might need editing.

Thoughts of the Moon became all consuming for the Sun to a point it (could) hold (its this love) inside any longer......

I have found two.


I think you meant--to a point it could not hold its love inside any longer

It's something which is easily fixed.

It was fun to read.


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294
294
Review of First Date  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello again,


Just noticed this little item in your portfolio.

I got a giggle out of this. I'm sure it's a thought that passes through many dad's minds, yet fleeting.


There is nothing I would change about this.
Done well. Thanks for sharing.



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295
295
for entry "Summertime cooler" 
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Soldier Mike,

This item is unique. I like how cleverly you created it.
You even have the straw.

It tells us all we need to know.

Nicely done.


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296
296
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello marvelous Friend,

I found this item in your portfolio.

This certainly shows the pleight many if us have of trying to lose weight and all those tempting things are don't at the store. Whatever you do--do not go to the store when you're hungry. I've done that before but my basket was full of tasty things. But not always healthy ones.

The item has good rhyme, as we progresss along.

*Pencil*. This needs to be broken up into stanzas then sperated each one with a linespace. It will be more readable.

Thanks for sharing.



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297
297
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello River, I just noticed this little story in your port.

What a cute story it is. We see Sir Trevor on patrol, ever watchful for intruders and those creatures outside.

We got some nice imagery in this.
*Pencil* A few things caught my eye- black and white creature that smelled. Without naming it we knew what that was. Good job

The deer with big hooves made sense too but I never knew they ate seeds.

Here I noticed what I think you meant to write-

*Pencil* Although I aband(on)ed my post,


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298
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Review of Gunter  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beholden,

Okay, I'm still looking around in your port. I hope you don't mind.

I like this one as we see the pup on your doorstep. A defenceless little puppy. That would be hard to resist, yet you know you must do something for the poor little thing.

Good thinking. Although your dad got tricked sort of, he ended up with a sweet little dog. They do have the same coloring, markings, and body types, yet not the size and weight.

I like that it had a happy ending.

Thanks for the read. I will probably stop by now and then in car you have new items or some I've not read.

I hope you don't mind.


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299
299
Review of Jimmy's Last Job  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello again,

Here's another one. Wow these characters seem to have an interesting day of it. Certainly not tea time but they've chosen their own unique adventure (for lack of better terms).

And got a surprise of their own.

Interesting read with a twist at the end.

Thanks for sharing.


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Review of Fairy Nuff  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Beholden,

I saw you respond to something on the newsfeed and decided to take a look at your portfolio. I'm not sorry I did. So far I found this little gem.

I like the premise as we take this journey through the fair quite.unusual names but I see it's part of the world building.

Although I didn't find this too scary I did pay more attention after Fairy Nuff mentioned his future, yet was obscure about it. It sets in motion that something is going to happen and might not be such fun.

I kind of thought maybe somehow the fortune teller might offer him something to drink and that might cause a change. Where he sprouts wings but that's just my thought.

Only you know how you'd like it to read.

{E;pencil} The dialogue in this was done well. I love dialogue and this was just enough The imagery used enhances the setting and mood.
And the Formattingg looks good.

I don't see anything that needs editing.

Other Comments:
Although not quite the same thing, it kind of reminds me of the way the Alfred Hitchcock hour use to have some scenarios where you're not quite sure what's going to happen.

I could imagine a series of these in a book or even on the tv screen.

We wonder how this man is fairing (pardon the pun. Haha). I wonder how he might pass that favorvon to another unsuspecting fair foer.

Please realise anything to offer here is merely my thoughts and ultimately it's up to you what you like.

The story is fine the way it is.
Thank you for sharing.


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