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Review Requests: ON
3,542 Public Reviews Given
4,119 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look at the title, premise, overall structure first. Then I see how it makes me feel. After that, I might comment on little errors which are easily fixed.
I'm good at...
Hmm. Well you'd have to ask the one being reviewed what that be.
Favorite Genres
Paranormal, spy/detective, sci-fi, romantic suspense (hey I'm female and entitled). documentary, psychological and more.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything too gorey depending on how it's done. I don't need every little detail.
Favorite Item Types
First tell me what an item type is. haha
Least Favorite Item Types
An item has to make sense even if it uses fantasy ideas.
I will not review...
I don't like where some writer crammed six long chapters into one item area. I also don't like it if the paragraphs are so long you lose your place reading it. If you don't want me to lose interest and give up, break it up into sections and link it to the next exciting chapters. Nobody wants to sit through a detailed story for hours without a break.
Public Reviews
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301
301
Review of Nocturnal  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello katwoman45,

This poem tells a story of shared togetherness, yet at some point the one person is missing and missed. There is sweet memories but also a longing.

*Pencil* Good format in this item. There were no errors that I could see.
Expressive with well chosen words.

I especially liked this part

The cat would curl in between us,
purring passionately and
stretching his grey-striped limbs,
making sure that all four paws
touched us both, connecting us,
like a timid child does
with angry, bitter parents.

Other comments: my little dog tunnels under my covers to sleep and she's usually itching some part of me too.its comforting for her , yet if I'm sleeping I'm not noticing it but surely my body senses it.


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302
302
Review of LAW OF THE GUN  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Monty,.

I saw you comment on news feed and decided to look at your portfolio and found "LAW OF THE GUN"  [13+].

As I read this story in a poem it made me think of a certain song. I think the time The Devil went Down to Georgia. I kept hearing the guys voice in my head using your words.

This could be a movie theme song. All that's missing is the refrain.

Anyway this was perfect. I didn't see anything needing editing. It has a nice rythym and is concise.




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303
303
Review of Whither Faith  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello I just read your item in your portfolio.

I can say Hurrah. I totally get this. Thank you for articulating what I also feel is true.

I like how you made you point in words that anyone can understand.

It allows the reader his or her own choice to decide whatever "is". Regardless of whatever each of us thinks, we don't know for sure or maybe we've just not remembering all there is.

Either way we will find out someday. This believing, we are content as well as we van possibly be, yet still aware of the possibilities.

*Pencil* There is nothing that needs fixing. It's perfect as is

Good read!


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304
304
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh Mike,

This was funny. I got a good laugh out of it.

I didn't see any errors or other problems.
Thanjs for sharing this.


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305
305
Review of Backlash  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Loren

I just saw this item in your portfolio and took a closer look.

There's several things going in here as we see these young people interacting.


I did see a sense of humor in it.
This was a part that added some humor..
My teacher has big red lips, big red heels, a short red dress, and auburn hair. Her name is Mrs. Barner. Figures, she’s as red as one.

This isn't bad since you had written it in 5th grade. You could always print the original then have an edited copy if you wanted to.
Thanks for sharing.


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306
306
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again Z. Shams,

Once again I found an item in your port.

This was fun to read and soon I realised it had rhyming words. I could not tell at first though as it's all one paragraph.

My favorite part was:

I've been extra-large, plus. I'm known as a very large fellow. I would easily pass as a school district bus
If somebody painted me yellow."

I would break this up into either stanzas or paragraphs with a line space between each section.


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307
307
Review of Questions  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Z Shams

I found this item in your portfolio and thought I'd take a closer look.
I see some places where words are capitalized and shouldn't be.
The item asks questions about things many people might not think about, yet some do.

I see the word Footnote and numbers at the bottom, but there's nothing there. I do t know if your forgot it Im missing something.

You might want to edit this. Thanks for sharing


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308
308
Review of Close Enough  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi,. Just noticed this is in your port.

It looks like a good start to your story. Formatting and paragraphs looks good.

That time of having to say goodbye can be stressful for sure.
I saw nothing needing editing.
Thanks for sharing.


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309
309
Review of Alea iacta est  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello,

I just read this item. I'm not sure what those first words are or what language.

Wow these guys are brutal, which seems was the norm for those days. Many kings died young and senselessly.

The way the men talk depicts a strength somehow and you can tell it's a serious issue...I wonder though would Caesar have a house. Or would it be called something else? It was a palace but it can still be the house of Caesar.

The columns as least fascinated me.

One time in art calls in college we had to take different events to make one image. The guidelines were pattern, environment, structure and one other.

I chose columns. I was guessing they were toman ones but I believe Greece has them.
And steps, a scarf and a cat sitting on the steps. and behind that a sunrise or sunset. It was on a huge wooden board.


Thanks for sharing.



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310
310
Review of 3 Days By Water  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Matt,

Here I am again. I found another one.

This little story shuws what a first kiss can be like for some.

I do remember my first kiss.
It was the best ever and much later I even married him, my best friend.

I like that at the end if this there was hope that they might be reunited.

Was there more of this you were planning to share?

Seems like a good start.

*Pencil* Route 95. It needs to be capitalized as shown here. It's specific.

Thanks for sharing.




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311
311
Review of 21 Reasons Why  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hlo Matt. I just read "21 Reasons Why"  [18+].

Each of these entrys, lead to the next one, until we end up at a final one.

This one though says a lot. It was enough to cause a reaction inside me like if I might suddenly cry.

19/Because she died a year ago today.

It explains a lot.

Thanks for sharing.


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312
312
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello again Dawsongirl,

Here's yet another one where we learn a little about the similarities, between birds and politicians, which we hadn't thought much about before.

And your sister sounds like a lot of fun. Can only imagine when you're out somewhere together. Hilarious. I have one sis like that we end up laughing at things most people never notice.

Then there are some days when she is Ms. Grumpy pants.

Thanks for the laugh.


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313
313
Review of Silence  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Myles Abroad,

I just read your item and I became increasingly interested as it progressed.

It's written well. We have some good imagery, showing us both worlds. Showing a change in how one can interact with others.

I loved that we also got dialogue in this and you have given the homeless a voice.

You (or the character) saw both sides of an existence--one of plenty and one of absence. Bravo!

There was a few errors, which are easily fixed. I was so caught up in it that I forgot where it was. I will look again and send an email later if you'd like.

Good job. Thanks for the read.


Note: I have a personal experience involving homeless people in San Francisco. I will provide a link below in case you care to read it.

Iam not sure if I have already written about it before. I couldn't find it. It was too long to write here so I'll just go ahead and recreate it.

Here it is:.
 San Francisco And a Homeless Lady.   (13+)
An unexpected encounter with the less fortunate
#2243827 by ~SilverMoon~




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314
314
Review of Spaces and Voids  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Thomas Seeker,

I found your item "Spaces and Voids"  [E]. You know me so well and I didn't view this until now. I wanted to have time to consider whatever you'd written in it.

I noticed this first:

Finding and holding on to love during Covid ha(s) been so difficult for so many people(,) including me. Being,(add a space here) or t(r)ying to be with someone is so hard. Especially if they're scared to death of Covid(.)

Reviewers Note: I hope you don't mind if I go through it from the start so hopefully I don't forget what might need editing, and also what stands out for me. Anything you write I look forward to reading as your heartfelt thoughts comfort, raise important questions and concerns for so many.

Here we see the frustration. It acknowledges the feelings combined with logic. It's an internal battle.

You wrote: The spaces and voids are making me into someone I don’t like. I can’t go on like this anymore. I find myself with a anger from a frustration from within

📝 In the sentence below I would add an extra linespace just before it to indicate a new place/perspective/time.

= What is this place? Where am I?

*Pencil* Th(ose) times don't exist anymore.

*Idea* Change can be scary, yet sometimes we need change to recognise all there is or what we realise has been or becomes important to us.

Familiarity brings its own comfort or in some cases misery. Only you would realise which is which.

*Pencil*
You wrote: A world where you don't need laws for everything, because you wouldn't even consider harming another. Your ideas and urges would be for the benefit of all. Truly being you brothers keeper.

*Idea* It's a lovely thought, yet it doesn't always feel like it's happening. Yes, there are people caring for more than themselves and willing to share, but unfortunately there are opportunists and manipulators. In a perfect world (or another plane of existence) we wouldn't have that problem.

I don't know if you read some of my newer items but I wrote sonething called Forty Years. I've been dealing with a void of my own for some time. A lifetime without the one I loved and love. That is what's lasting. At least for me. I'm not getting what makes me feel more alive, but things don't always happen when, where, or how we expect. That doesn't mean it won't.

But what is love if you can't share it with your loved one? I totally get that. For me I know I will feel this way for time infinite. Still I must live my life regardless and enjoy what I can.

Of there are more errors they would be similar to the ones I mentioned.

Thank you for sharing this.
Be Blessed.





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315
315
Review of The Party's Over  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Soldier Mike

It definitely was a sad day and certainly horrifying for many. It was all over the news. I did end up watching or hearing those people making their phone calls to thier loved ones. I sat there crying my eyes out even though I didn't know them personally.

It's been a long time since it happened yet it seems like it wasn't that long ago. I'm betting there's alot those family's are dealing with still after this happened.
Thanks for sharing.



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316
316
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Web Witch,

I read the second one first as it was featured on Richard's newsfeed posting.

Either way it looks like I'll be watching your port for a while so I can get my detective fix sated.

I like that we have dialogue plus we get to hear what's going on inside P.I. Lou's mind.

He's quick thinking and ready for action. The tension mounts then subsides lurking in the background then something worse starts to happen but even that ends nice and neat. Okay. Not nice on normal terms, but you know what I mean. I hope.

And Gloria gets to live another day. She's bound to get sweet on him after all he's saving her life.

I found no errors itr just didn't notice them as I was caught up in the action.

Nope I didn't see any problems.

Good read!

Thanks again.




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317
317
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Web Witch,

I found this like ttle gem in your port and just had to read it. I'm liking the detective stories especially noir.

This part I got a kick out if--Now I have to walk around all day with this flowery package in my pocket

I'd say typical man. But that might sound sexist. Oh well I said it anyway. I say it jokingly.

Everything progressed like you'd expect any we got enough of the right imagery too.

The other amazing thing is this was doing using thoughts and dialogue.

I have nothing to suggest about this item. It was really enjoyable to read.

Thank you. And please write more.


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318
318
Review of Deja Vu  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Norma Jean,

I just found Dejavu in your portfolio and here to give you my thoughts on it. First I will say the formatting looks good. I didn't see any errors. You also have good systence rythym.

The premise is one almost a time can relate to so it f feels real.

The couple's interaction in this also seems like one anyone might have given the frustration of not knowing w where you are and which way to go.

I've had it happen except it was on foot. You've inspired me to write about an adventure with a friend if mine while in San Francisco.

Anyway, by car is another example especially when you suddenly realise things look the same or they've changed the names in almost any street after a certain distance.

It often felt like we have our own asphalt Bermuda Triangle and we are like fish caught in a net. Haha

You mentioned another one.

The only suggestion I might give is if you could place a link at the bottom for anyone wanting to read more. I've done that.

Thanks for the read.


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319
319
Review of The Ghost Hunt  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Spiritual Dawning,

I found this item in your portfolio.

Formatting looks good in this. Each line leads us on this search for ghosts and such.

There's a place not to far from San Francisco. It's called Winchester House. Many people go there. I've not been there though. It's famous.

Well this piece looks good as the searcher longs for an adventure.

Thanks for sharing.



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320
320
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Spiritual Dawning,

I came across your item in your port--Yearning for More.

The poem is simple in firm and the message is clear. It's a request for some moments to spend with another person.

It is a longing many people can relate to.

Nice example. Thanks for sharing.





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321
321
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello n.lea,

I just read The Destination. I am not good at creating poetry but I sure can appreciate it.

I like this one as it's short but concise and reflects the feeling in it.

I especially liked the last part. Here it is:

Allow them to be plucked
That you always remain
In hearts you touch along your way


It's so meaningful.

Thanks for sharing.


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322
322
Review of The Dreamer  
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Norman.

I just read one of your poems--The Dreamer.

I don't know a lot about poetry but I do know I liked this..

It has a nice uplifting feel to it. To believe in yourself is important. God knows I fall into a slump now and then but it's true. Believe in yourself even if everyone around you doesn't.

We see it happen today. I always say even a multitude of people can be wrong. Granted it's their right to believe what they will.

Anyway, your poem looks good on the page. There's a nice rythym to it. (hope I spelled that right).

I didn't notice anything that needed editing.

You did a great job on this. I especially liked the last stanza.

Thanks for sharing.


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323
323
Review by ~SilverMoon~
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lurie,

This looks much better. You now have some dialogue.

Example: What did you saw?",
I think you meant see.

Also you need to use comma inside the ending quotation marks, not outside.

Also if the dialogue ends with things like questions or exclamation marks then do not add a comma.


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324
324
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Lueie Park,
Your titelr is appropriste.

The premise could happen but because we don't know these characters wellits kind of unusual to kill someone over one incident, yet not impossible.

The emotion is revealed when Pearl turned red and she clenched her fist then punched a wall but jealousy tends to sneak up on you and at first you don't want to believe someone's cheating on you.

Unfortunately even sisters or other relatives can get things wrong. And then bad things happen if it's acted upon.

But in your story we see an ending yet certainly not a happy one.

With a little editing this could be even better if show a slow buildup to this tragedy.

Plus I'd use dialogue when the sister finds out what she found out about Myra Bell.

That being said, it's your story to do as you wish.

Thanks for the read.


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325
325
Review by ~SilverMoon~
In affiliation with Dream Team HQ  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Cheryl McCarriston,

I just read your story called No Password Needed.

First, I would suggest that you capitalize the title as shown here.

Title: is appropriate to story content

Premise: A girl is solitary as all that's around her are boys. This promises to allow her to experience a lot of different things she might not if there were any other girls.

Format: It could use some editing. Add line space between paragraphs.

I liked that we got a little bit of dialogue and it's done well. A little more could be added so you're showing and not telling. It makes it feel more real.

* I like that she decides to earn her admittance into the group when someone suggested it.

*. This looks like it will be a good adventure as we see these kids interact and how things change later if they do.

Nice job on this beginning if it's part of a longer story.

Let me know if you edit and add to this and I can either rate and re-review it or its next parts.

Thanks for sharing.



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