I really loved the Images coming the tale which resolves the exact opposite outcomes then the other resolved by stars visible or not. I assume that one is if the Tarot is upside down. Been a long, long time since I did a reading. But great poem.
An interesting solution to an unfortunately bad relationship. The solution was certainly difficult but the solution does work in the poem. A great explanation of the poem's solution.
Good luck with such things. Keep writing.
Interesting viewpoint on being alone or participation in the world of others. Liked the progression down the poem drawing the reader in. Great work. Keep writing.
A great form for a prayer to those overcome by darkness. The imagery is well done with its flow through what the evil people do to themselves and the innocent. The close holding a way out for those sinning with your own prayers works as a statement of faith.
Mechanically the structure is natural rhymes seem unforced.
Well done keep writing.
A very evocative piece, the feeling of a time and place in memory without unnecessary words. Poetry to me has always been word choice accomplishing an emotional response, this piece is a great example of that goal.
This poem is a fine evocation of a time and a place through images of childhood. The focus on the home of childhood triggers the reader's own memories of his or her own past.
Structure and word choice work well to meet the poem's purposes.
Great work -- keep writing.
Mouser.
I like this piece. The opening use of imagery creates a time and a place most can relate to well. The building from the storm to the personal is well developed. Capturing a moment is tough and well executed.
Mechanically the structure and word choice add and compliment the content.
Keep Writing!
I enjoyed the poem for its subject, but also for the word choice. The flowing structure descending draws the eye of the reader along through a tough subject. Having worked for several years in an Emergency Department long ago and seen too much death up close it resonated with me particularly, having seen also the brave and generous smiles along the way as well.
A great short piece -- evocative and descriptive enough to create scenes along the way. Story telling in this format is tough but it is managed well. The lost and found aspect ties the tale together great from beginning to end.
Great work. Keep writing.
Great piece. I loved the imagery, as horrific as it was, as an element in the tale telling it worked powerfully. There are elements in our history as a nation that must never be forgotten, from massacres to destruction of habitat -- there are lessons we must not flinch from however painful and shameful least we forget.
A thoughtful, well structured piece.
Keep writing.
Great work. It carries the reader through the initial erotic notions, through passion to the peace and simple joys of being together. The word choice is a wonderful collage of the range of feelings emotional and physical of true lovers.
Keep writing.
Great Poem. The structure and flow work well to carry the work along. The imagery and exploration of the emotions of the narrator as the realization of the one sided nature of the growing love is going nowhere for the narrator.
Great Work - Keep writing!
Merry Christmas.
Mouser
Great piece! The word choice and rhythm build the tension throughout. The content seeming to be a cruel seduction is excellent. The step by step revelation of the narrator's inability to defend herself from the rogue manipulator is wonderfully handled and the twist at the end was a delight.
Great work
and Merry Christmas!
Mouser
Great piece. The word choice and flow work great. The imagery is the strength throughout carrying the reader. The overall impression of the poem is a great example of saying the most with carefully chosen words.
Excellent work!
Keep writing.
Mouser
A fun piece. Word chose and flow worked well throughout. The imagery was excellent. The overall development of the fire ants as the heroes of the tale and their tensions and goals is well executed. The development of emotional tension was satisfying as well, complete with resolution.
Keep writing!
Mouser
Interesting poem. I liked the word choice and flow throughout. The rhythm and rhyme worked well and was unforced. The content's describing the building of a tale works well as the subject for this particular tale. Overall an enjoyable read.
Keep writing!
Mouser
Great piece. The word choice and flow are well executed. Rhythm and structure enhance the poem throughout. The imagery - the "snapshots" of the description are strong and build the emotional tale throughout. Overall a strong tale in twenty lines.
Well done! Keep writing.
Mouser
Good work. The word choice and flow of the piece are well done. The rhythm and structure of the poem draw the reader through it and aid in the poem's emotional content. The imagery enhances the piece as well.
Overall good poem. Keep writing!
Mouser
Great piece. The word choice and flow of the piece carry the reader through to the end well. The imagery and emotion of the poem are its greatest strength. They draw the reader powerfully into the mind and heart of the narrator.
Keep writing!
Mouser
Good work. The word choice and flow of the piece work well. The rhythm and rhyme enhance the piece and never seems forced. The imagery and the ruminations of the narrator merge well to carry the poem to its close. The obvious care of the piece is a demonstration of poetry's demand that every word be the right one.
Keep writing!
Mouser
Great work. The word choice and flow worked well to maintain the tension. The narrative voice of the tale was well developed as well - a narrator not as detached as he might be. The growing fear and darkness of the piece led naturally to the end.
Excellent piece. Keep writing!
Mouser
Good work. The word choice and rhythm of the piece work very well to carry the poem forward. The imagery is excellent creating scenes and the reality of the siren song to the poet. Overall a well executed poem drawing the reader to see through the narrator's eyes.
Keep Writing!
Mouser
Great piece. I am unfamiliar with the form but the structure works to enhance the piece. The word choice and flow was good and the imagery was excellent. A tale of emotional life in nine lines is a great accomplishment.
Great work and keeping writing!
Mouser
Great Work! I liked the rhythm and flow of the piece and the word choice worked well in that context. Because of the highlighted words I assume they were required for a contest - and your use of them fit great in the work. Overall it was the imagery which caught my attention and worked best in carrying the poem through.
Keep writing!
Mouser
Great work. The word choice and rhythm kept the poem consistent throughout. I can definitely can relate to the subject - as can most writers. The poem also reflects the other definition of poetry - in expressing a feeling or idea in a minimum of carefully chosen words.
Keep writing!
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