Great work! The word choice and flow of the piece complements the topic. The impact of the imagery is very sucessful and also aids the completion of the theme. The overall impact is great. The compact expression of the theme is a great use of poetry.
Keep writing!
Great work! The word choice and rhythm of the poem works well. The imagery of the poem is fully developed and executed. The gentle compact expression of a theme is a big part of what poetry is about.
The overall impact of the work is high.
Keep writing.
Great work. Word choice and rhythm work well. Imagery was extremely well done, evocative and complete.
Over all a great impact obtained with a small number of words, one of the toughest part of poetry. Loved the work look forward to see more.
Keep writing!
Great work. Word choice and rhythm worked great. I liked the rhyme scheme, it added to the overall impact substantially. As another person with similar memories, I really enjoyed the imagery and theme. Overall it evokes a time and place in carefully selected words.
Keep writing!
Great work. The word choice, rhythm and rhyme all contribute to the content. The imagery and theme merge wonderfully. The breveity of the piece reflects one of the best qualities of poetry - that of saying more with fewer words and leaving the reader with even more to think about.
Keep writing!
Great work. Word choice and rhythm maintain the flow throughtout. The imagery adds great impact to the theme and maintains the reader's interest. Overall a fine exploration for a tough theme, granting insight and understanding to those who have not been there and support for those who have. Maximum impact for minimum words almost a definition of poetry.
Keep writng!
Great work. Word choice and rhythm work well. The theme is well developed with the flow of the work . The structure and repetition adds to the impact of the work.
Keep writing!
Good work. Good word use and the flow keeps the reader moving on. Overall a successful rendering of the mood and mindset of the writer at that place and time. It has been a long time since I took an economics class - or any other class but as I said your work definitly reproduces a time and place.
Keep writing!
Great work. I like the word choice and flow of the work. The theme of identity in not just the body but the way it is used to define the narrator to herself and her loved ones. The overall impression is powerful in a short work, the kind of concise story which can be a definition of poetry in itself. I look forward to your work here.
Keep writing!
Great work. The word choice and flow of the poem draws the reader inot the work. The imagery combines then to complete the description of the attitude as well as the physical aspects of Serenity.
Keep writing!
Great work. Word choice and rhythm work well to carry the theme of the work to its end. The drowning out of the writers voices in the "noise" of the other media which bombard us in the daily world can be so discouraging for the writer to just walk away from the effort. This expression of hope says a great deal about the drive and effort necessary in this enviornment to keep working on the goals of writing.
Keep writing.
Great work. The word choice, flow and rhyme work to maintain the theme of the tale of the poem. The combination and imagery of the external storm and the internal pain is a well executed expression of the storm/ catharsis possible with emotional pain. It costs us to experiance the pain, but by facing it and working through the pain to resolution.
Excellent work.
Love and peace of the Season
Keep writing
Great work. the word choice and rhythm work well for the work and the rhymes are inforced/natural. The imagery adds to the depth of the piece and keeps the writer unitl the end.
Peace and Love of the Season
Keep Writing
Great work. Word choice and rhythm work well for the expression of the theme. The presentation of the litany of items, processes and events in the world which trouble the writer is a clearly expressed view of a state of the world around us. It shows a thoughtful voice of dissent against that vocal minority in politics and the media who claim that any oppositon to their own extreme positons are anti-christian and unpatriotic.
Keep writing !
Great work! Word choice and rhythm well maintained, especially loved Lear in the opening. Theme and humor consistent and successfully executed.
Keep working!
Peace and Love of the Season.
Good work. The Word choice and flow well through the work carry the storry well. Theme is completed well. The Imagery was executed excellently, and the sensuality as well. The conclusion was succesful as both humor and practical thought.
Keep writing!
Peace and Love of the Season.
Great work. Word choice and flow works great. Imagery is great for the narrative and vivid. Loved this piece the litany of problems reaches everyone who has seen this problem. The twist at the end about the narrator is carried out great.
Great work. Word choice and flow works. I really believe there is enough (humorous) nonsense in the world. Thanks for adding to it..
Keep writing!
Peace and Love of the Season.
Great work. Word choice and flow precise. Emotional impact strong. This is goes with the definition of poetry with no waste words still expressing the poet's goal.
Peace and Love of the Season.
Keep Writing!
Great work. The word choice and the flow works well. You also seem to understand the idea of getting the idea expessed in just the needed words and not just rambling (a trait I'm very guilty of without editing my work) so I say great star.
Keep writing.
good work. the word choice and structure work well forth this macbre subject. <Sadly I worked in an ER in the 70's and saw 2 similar cases>
Keep writing.
Good work - word choice and rhythm are well done -an excellent picture of a person in that situation achieving your goal. The only criticism would be the mechanical problem of the rhyme at the end of the third stanza - but tinkering our work is something all on all the time. As I say this meant to shapen your skill which are shown overall - editing our work is part of the trouble - but never let it bother you it's like a painter adding a stroke or to to his painting.
Keep writing!
Great work. Word choice and rhythm work well. Theme devolepement and the picture created is crystal clear. The brevity of the work shows the thoughtful word choice - which in itself could be a definition of poetry.
You make me want that view.
Keep writing.
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