This is a good story, with a nice mix of emotions. I liked the way your characters developed, the way you describe the forest and the fire, and the way you described the rescue.
I think this piece would have deserved a 5, but I think you should have expanded a little on the two days before the rescue. Keep writing!
I like your descriptions of the fights. You've got all the ingredients for a great fantasy story - a knight, a lady in distress, faith in a goddess and unknown creatures.
I didn't know Santa can get a scolding from his parents as well. I would have thought that he'd have taken all his reindeer along, at least, for a vacation.
I like the letter - full of fun and it's believable too. Maybe you should have included one part about Santa asking for money?
Haha - I liked reading this - very funny (from my point of view, of course).
You must be quite young if you can remember asking for McNuggets when you were a kid. I remember that they only started to have McNuggets when I was in my late teens.
Not a bad attempt. It started off a little sad, with the lament about responsibilities and duties. I like the way you picked it up with the realisation that there's plenty of time to complete everything, and that there's no need to hurry anywhere.
Thanks for telling me about prose poems. I've been doing up some reading about the form on the web after I read your note.
I think this is beautiful as a prose poem. Not all readers may be able to understand it as a poem though. It doesn't seem to be a very popular form. As you say, the line between poetry and prose is very murky.
Nice one. I supposed you were referring to the Bible? Or do you have some other book in mind?
I like the rhythm you managed to get into the poem. The idea behind the poem seems simple, but you've made it more interesting by making out the book as an old one.
I've never known my dad, either. But, unlike you, I don't think I can really feel love for a man I can't remember.
There seems to be quite a lot of pain in the poem, especially when you're describing the things that your dad has never done with you. I think you've done well here. Keep writing.
Hahahaha this is so funny! I like it a lot. I think it's basically true though - parents somehow become idiots when they reach for an electrical device.
My problem is my mother's handphone - she usually messes up the settings and then comes and whines to me about the phone not working.
Haha - this is quite accurate. Guess you were really there.
I've been to a few slumber parties before. This article really brings back memories. I like the way you've included the things that guys always think girls get up to on a slumber party.
I think this is a nice piece of work - it invokes a lot of thoughts.
I like the basic idea of the poem... but would the kid who's graduating have any idea how the tree looked thirty years ago? I mean, if he's graduating, he's only about eighteen right?
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