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101
101
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Hooves

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Reflection of the Night

First Impression: The protagonist looking into the young man's eyes was like going into his soul and in that moment the connection will be cherished for many years ahead. Everyone needs to feel connected with another.

What needs your attention: In the sentence Later I recalled to vivid memory I think in feels better than to. The way it's worded to me sounds awkward.

What part I liked best: the author,and this reader connected with the two souls passing on their journey, for the brief span in each other lives they gave and received what was needed. I'm happy for the young Arab boy he was safe because of the other passenger's silence.

Overall impression: The story's entertaining to read. I saw the author posted the prompt and this reader feels the prompt was fulfilled and then some. The author reminds us all to take leaps of faith for a better world.
It's a sad world we live because people judge others by race, or ethnicity or their life preferences.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I always love visiting your port.
created by Gervic


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102
102
Review of Thinking Spring  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi James A. Osteen Jr.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Thinking Spring

First Impression: The title caught my attention and like the title I'm also thinking about spring. It was beautiful for a while here in Vegas but then the temperatures dropped and it felt like winter again. But then I was reminded of all the weather the Northeast has been experiencing. I'm sure they can't wait until the flowers and trees bloom.

What needs your attention: It's a free style poem with four stanzas that gives the reader the feeling of moving forward with spring. I wouldn't change a thing.

What part I liked best: I live in the desert and April showers don't bring flowers. Spring comes earlier here as do the rain showers. My favorite part of spring are the hummingbirds. The author reminds the reader that all things are worth waiting for its arrival.

Overall impression: This poem as written gives the feeling of spring as it evolves from the bud forming, opening and blessing us with gorgeous displays. The author clearly enjoys poetry.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
created by Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
103
103
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi James A. Osteen Jr.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The price of freedom

First Impression: The price of freedom does come at a very high price as the author and reader are very aware. I've lost family and good friends serving in the military. It's heartwrenching watching the flag folded and handed to the family.

What needs your attention: The four stanza format serves the poem's story very well. Nothing I could suggest would improve this remarkable tribute.

What part I liked best: It takes a special person to serve in the military, unfortunately the majority serve the briefest time possible to receive what bonus from the government. My son served 26 years in the Navy, and every time his ship was in a dangerous place I held my breath. This poem made me wonder about this soldier's family and the price they paid as well.

Overall impression: This poem reminds the reader lives are lost so we can enjoy all that our country offers. It's a beautiful tribute to the unknown soldier, soldiers. I pray there will come a time when we won't have wars.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you.
created by Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Kenzie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Autumn, Won't You Stay a While

First Impression: The author included a beautiful visual image for the reader to immerse not only in the words but the picture as well. Perfect balance. I love the way the different trees colors vary as well.

What needs your attention: This reader noted the highlighted words a visual reminder of the season in the first stanza and the opening line of each stanza was in brown except the last one in black but didn't see the significance of brown highlighted in the third stanza. Just curious if I missed something. Also I noted the repeated lines but not in the final stanza.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the different visual settings the author shared in each stanza. I love maple and oak trees the best because of their offering in the fall.

Overall impression: A beautiful poem with the added bonus of a visual image to put the reader in the moment with the author. Thank you.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Be well.
created by Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
105
105
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Kenzie0

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Calm Voice Over by Stormcloud

First Impression: Toddlers are more energetic than a tornado. The magnitude of what they can accomplish in a short period of time has always surprised me. As a parent and now a grandmother I've experienced a lot of those no moments discussed.

What needs your attention: I'm uncertain as to why the words higlighted add to the scary story.

What part I liked best: The fear the mom felt once she realized where her child was and the struggles involved as the situation unfolded. This reader's heart paused hoping that the child was okay. I can relate to her fear.
I had gone on a trip to visit my grandmother with my two young sons. One carseat in the front and one in the back because my two year old son wouldn't stop poking the 2 momth old brother. I was outside the car with the door open when I asked the 2 year old to pass me a diaper. He said, no. So I walked around the car to get it myself when he unhooked his car seat and reached over to pull the shifting lever on the car. It rolled down the hill between 2 trucks on the road. My sons were not hurt but the trunk of the car was buckled by the house it hit.I tried to get into the car but couldn't. So yeah, I know how in the moment unexplained things happen.

Overall impression: The story was gripping and the pacing was perfect. Thank you for sharing.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
created by Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
106
106
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jackiesmuse

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Mystery Container

First Impression: One line is in bold and nothing else to indicated if it is a contest entry. There's a lot of jumping in this story without natural transitions like for instance Yogurtini to a container home to a steel coffin.

What needs your attention: I didn't note any grammar or punctuation errors but I did feel the pacing was off and the story lacked natural flow from one point to the next. Like the blonde joke comment, came out of nowhere and so did the Twilight Zone comment.

What part I liked best: I'm wondering what is in the choca mocha, I need to drink some to make it through GOT.

Overall impression: Eddie and Albert begin this adventure at Yogurtini. From there Eddie is missing and Albert is inside some kind of steel enclosure and a woman named Molly is telling him she's there for their blind date. Just writing this I'm confused because the story didn't follow a natural transition for the reader so I was left wondering at the different mentioned places how we got there.

The story could be fun if the author smooths out the storyline, so it feels cohesive.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
107
107
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Bearclaw

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Gunsmoke and Rose Petals

First Impression: I've checked into hotels and had similar reactions from the clerk. It's immensely frustrating. I'm noticing that the dialogue is stilted like the author isn't comfortable with the English language. People respond more casually than you have here.

What needs your attention:
1."Have you need assistance with your bags, Sir?"" you're missing the preposition have you need of assistance.
2. r vacation r busines you're missing the o in or
3. Consider the paragraph with the nerve wracking toilet, followed by gunshots..his reactions would have been more emotional or agitated by the gunshots being so close. The way it is written, it's like it happens all the time.
4. Do you if she was expecting anyone you're missing the word know. do you know if she...

What part I liked best: I was amsused at the officers indifference to his writing. Many people don't acknowledge writing as a career choice they see it as a hobby.The officer dismissed it as being a work situation until it suited his needs.

Overall impression: "Whoever did should know that was a big no-no and you could get into trouble for that. It would be considered interfering in the investigation of an ongoing Police case. The jail was not out of the question." sections like this come across as the author inserting information instead of working it naturally with dialogue. Sam could easy be talking to a guest who wants to call the paper. It would feel more natural.

The story has potential it just needs some tweaking.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
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108
108
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Gervic

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Behind the Green Door

First Impression: Gervic's been busy. I love poetry so I couldn't pass on reading. I enjoyed the imagery in the stanzas and how they were like a prequel to the danger ahead. Good descriptors in every stanza and the rhyming pattern added a sense of impending doom ahead. Nicely told. I noted this was a contest entry because under mystery was two other pieces with the same title.

What needs your attention: Its a free style poem with four-line stanzas that work very well, nothing needs changing in this reader's mind.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed all of the poem but if I had to pick a particular stanza the creaking hinge, a chilling sigh reminds me of my aunt's old house every door creaked differently. It was fun just to open them to hear the creaks. My aunt didn't agree with our antics but then what adult actually likes annoying behavior.

Overall impression: The visual movement in the story added suspense as the reader read. The final stanza left the reader wondering what would cause the end. Nicely done. The pacing worked very well.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Image #2315526 over display limit. -?-


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109
109
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Joseph

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Barney Investigates the Haunted Mansion

First Impression: Was this intended to be a series of short stories? The ending feels like the story isn't finished yet. Did you watch the Andy Griffith Show when it was Don Knotts because your character feels more like his behavior than when Jack Burns replaced him.

What needs your attention: It's a bit confusing with all the characters either being by their names and other characters being Mr. Cody Casper. Consistency helps.

What part I liked best: Barney standing outside the mansion looking at ivy shrouding the mansion debating his next move but then the shadow caught his eye and he decided to do his job despite being a bundle of nerves.

Overall impression: The story began as a mystery but soon evolved to multiple murders that were left which made the reader wonder where's the rest of the story? The character, Barney felt like the character from the series this story is paralleling.
For this reader a more tense ending would have the story to the next level Like have Barney radio Andy as the scythe crashed the windshield, maybe dropping the mic and throwing the car in reverse. Just food for thought Thank you for sharing your work.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Image #2315526 over display limit. -?-


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110
110
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Krista

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Weeping Willow

First Impression: This is definitely a good children's story. The moral in the story is that no one should be left out. Even grown-ups need to be reminded because we do get into our cliques and don't think of the bigger picture. No one should ever feel lonely.

What needs your attention: I'm curious about the word various when talking with the forst creatures, would a young child know the meaning? Just food for thought. The grammar and punctuation looked good.

What part I liked best: I liked how Izzy discovered the willow leaf under her pillow. That was a sweet ending to the story that would make a child and this reader smile. As a child, I used to keep treasures under my pillow all the time. My mother wasn't always thrilled especially when I hid a baby bunny I had found that had died. I didn't want it to be alone.

Overall impression: The characters fit the story and didn't feel forced to move the story along. The pacing was good. The story setting the author created reminded the reader of her own childhood adventures under a weeping willow in her grandparents yard.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
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111
111
Review of Sarah  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Sumojo

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Sarah

First Impression: oh boy, a scary tale. I'm going to have to remember to post scary word combinations for blog posts you have a knack for it. I'm assuming this is for one of the writing contests with the 300 word count listed in the description and the highlighted words.

What needs your attention: in this sentence you'll get more bang for your word count-
She opened the curtains and peered through the lounge room window to check if she could see any lights and dropped the phone with a clatter on the hardwood floor" if you say She opened the curtain and peered through the lounge window because we know its a room. Then continuing in the same sentence -to check for lights. And still the same sentence. The phone clattered onto the hardwood floor. That removes some extra words that don't add to your piece and leaves room for added suspense. There are other places you can do the same.
What part I liked best: I love darkness like you described. I don't find it scary I actually find it soothing. When I loved in Maine, I used to stop at the lake on my way home from my second job stocking shelves at a department store and take a dip in the lake. My favorite times were when the moon wasn't visible at all, it seemed like the I was only living creature left.

Overall impression: Fun entry to read.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? See you blogging again once this is over.
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112
112
Review of Sneeze  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi IE

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Sneeze

First Impression: I vividly remember this time frame in history. I didn't have the opportunity to hear MLK speak in person but I did hear Malcolm X in New Haven. Intense speakers these men wer. We haven't had any leaders like them since.

The story is interesting how you wove in the facts about the letter to MLK and used the real girl's name.

What needs your attention: This is what jumped out at me that made me wonder about your characters. 47 roses for 47th birthday made me question the ages of the children involved because they didn't sound like high school age. Maybe 37 would be more believable.

Girls typically play softball not boys. Boys usually play baseball.

What part I liked best: The interaction at the table and the discussion about listening to the speeches. I remember that announcement, Walter Cronkit was the best newscaster ever in my opinion. Dumbfounded describes the majority of us. It was just unimaginable.

Overall impression: The author did a great job of weaving actual facts into a story for Writer's Cramp. The pacing was good.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? May MLK never be forgotten
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113
113
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi JCCosmos

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Big Mac Assassination Plot

First Impression: As soon as I saw the title on writer's cram forum I knew who the subject was. If only your words could make it happen with no repercussions to anyone.

What needs your attention: I would consider the sentences beginning with and to be worded so they don't start with and. Sentences that begin with and give this reader the sense the author is holding my hand as I read. One sentence is okay but you have four. Two of them in the third paragraph very close to each other.

There's a period in this sentence that doesn't belong after the word and "Texas which had declared independence and. 35 other "

What part I liked best: I don't know your politics nor is this the place to discuss it so I'll simply say the whole concept of the assassination. Not sure I want the country divided up since I would be separated from my loved ones.

Overall impression: Interesting response to the Writer's Cramp contest. Other than the places I pointed out the pacing was good and the plot was hilarious.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Keep on writing!
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114
114
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Gervic

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes. Yup, me again!

Title: Silent on the Balcony

First Impression: Thank you for including the prompt requirements, I find that very helpful. The rhyming pattern works very well here. I remember the day President Kennedy because it's the first time I ever saw my Grandma and my Uncle cry. I had just came in from school and they were sitting in front of the television sobbing.

What needs your attention: I can't find anything I would change, you nailed it Gervic. Kudos.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the whole build up to the final line, it felt like a wave of emotion crashing on to me. The last stanza felt intense like I was standing there in that moment especially with no pulse, no breath a chilling hush.

Overall impression: The stanzas were a consistent four line stanza with a rhyming pattern that worked very well. The rhyming didn't feel forced The pacing was good. I feel it should have won the challenge. And yes, I read the other competitors entries so I'm not trying to flatter you.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? You're a tough competitor.
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
115
115
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Cappucine

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Pearl of Wisdom

First Impression: Yay, one of my favorite ways to create poems. Yours came from Woman's Weekly and I love to take mine from the New York Times. I'm curious did you physically spread the phrases out on a table to create or did you choose lines from a virtual edition of the publication. I take all the cut out headlines and move them around over a couple of days until I'm satisfied with the flow and word choices.

What needs your attention: The poem is a free style form so it's not held to any particular form so it is what it is.

What part I liked best: The third stanza is my favorite. I get so tired of being told how to manage my well-being if only there was effortless well-being maybe people would stop trying to intervene in my health choices.

Overall impression: I'm happy to discover another found poetry writer here on WDC. The lines flow smoothly from one to the next and build upon each other. The word choices fit the title very well. I've read a lot of poems where the title was questionable, this is perfect.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
116
116
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jayesandz

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Letter to my brother

First Impression: I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is never easy and reading your poem reminds me of the losses in my own life.

What needs your attention:

1.Days turn to night, at night I stay awake. It's redundant and takes away from the emotion. Try instead Day turn to night and I lie awake.

2. but who am I fooling? with you he gave me 40 years. I think the line would be stronger instead of with you lead with
At least, we did have forty years. The sentence ended with the question mark than the next beginning with a lowercase with doesn't work.

What part I liked best: I thought the frankness of the poem carried throughout. It's clear their were many emotions involved as you wrote this letter to your brother. I'm sure your brother wishes he had the opportunity to make amends for all the hurt s over the years. Unfortunately, the living are left with the guilt.

Overall impression: This was an emotional poem written for a brother I believe as part of the grieving process. I can relate to that because I've written a few myself.

May you find peace in your memories.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Image #2315526 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
117
117
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jackiesmuse

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: John Bergeron's Daughter

First Impression: I didn't see that coming at all. Nice surprise twist with the two employees. Charles was concerned about his job when the daughter came on board but had no idea that the boss wanted his help instead to ditch his daughter.

What needs your attention: I didn't notice any grammar or punctuation errors. Kudos. I am wondering what the bold words? If it's for a prompt based story than it usually noted at the beginning or end so the reader knows it's a contest entry.

What part I liked best: John calling Charles into his office for a pretend reprimand was a surprising twist to the story. Prune juice coctails, eww. Ex-wives can be quite annoying. My husband's been divorced 21 years, and she still hounds him constantly.

Overall impression: I thought that was a clever plan to get the daughter to leave the real estate business owned by her father. I thought the pacing worked and the story unfolded nicely. Good Job! By the way welcome to WDC!

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


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Review of Blind Justice  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Ken

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Blind Justice

First Impression: Those were some interesting additions to the story, kudos on making them work. Blind Justice fits perfectly here especially with ghost hunters.

What needs your attention: I can't find a dang thing worth mentioning. *Headbang* No grammar or punctuations errors but then you knew that.

What part I liked best: I love the elderly lady;s comment about she quit listening because she knew she was guilty. And then Tom pointed out the defendant was a man. Her response was perfect. I laughed at that. I chuckled quite a few times while reading it which made my husband look up at me. I think h's questioning my sanity again.

I wonder if jurors do discuss when dinner is. I'm 67 and I've never been called for jury duty. Maybe I shouldn't say that too loudly. I would drive the judge crazy with my overactive bladder. *Rolling*

Overall impression: This was an amusing short story that made light of the judicial system. The pacing was good. The required words were used with good placement that increased the humor.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


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119
119
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Legerdemain

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Bruce's Birthday Ditty

First Impression: I read this to my husband, he's a huge Springsteen fan. I like how you used words form his songs. We were fortunate enough to see one of his concerts in Philadelphia. His energy is incredible.

What needs your attention: I think free style works very well for this tribute to Bruce.

What part I liked best: I think he's definitely had glory days and then some since the man is seventy-four years old. I think you've chosen his best songs in this poetic tribute. Brilliant Disguise and Born to Run are my favorites that you've mentioned in your poem. Brilliant Disguise's background is about the mask of bitterness we often wear, it was interesting way to discuss his divorce.
Born to Run discusses the failure of blue collar towns and is a reference to his upbringing in Long Branch, New Jersey.

Overall impression: It's a beautiful tribute to a musician with over a hundred songs to date.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


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120
120
Review of Pacing  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Joy review 2 of 2

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Pacing

First Impression: This is great advice and definitely something I need to improve at. I love the idea of red and blue pencils to see visually the movement. Would it work with poetry as well?

What needs your attention: I didn't see anything but as you kow punctuation and grammar are not my strengths.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the read but even more so a great pacing exercise so I can apply it to my own writing. I definitely need the practice and if Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm has anything to do with it... I'll be getting a lot of it. I like the idea of applying it to already written work so I won't be focusing on just the pacing and losing ground on other important parts of the story like the characters, setting and the challenge of overcoming passive voice.

Overall impression: This was educational and all new writers should practice the pacing exercise. I won't name any author in particular but there are quite a few besides me that need the practice. Just saying. You know I can be a stinker. Thank you for giving me another tool to improve my writing.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


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121
121
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Joy. I'm really missing you in this round of GOT.
review 1 0f 2

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Everyday Canvas

First Impression: I've read numerous blog entries of yours over the years but I don't believe I've ever reviewed. Shame on me.

What needs your attention: I don't think I would change anything.

What part I liked best: I appreciate that the prompts are always at the top of the entry before I begin reading. I am always impressed when I toss out some randomm words from word generator as the prompt and you produce either an awesome poem or short story. I have to admit I'm in awe of most your entries.
I look forward to reading your blog because you actually discuss the pros and cons of the prompt when the topic warrants it. Like for instance, the recent prompt about scammers you discussed ways that you've personally have found useful to protect yourself and hopefully will help others as well.

Overall impression: Your blog is entertaining as well as eductional. I find that your responses are thought out and not just one or two line entries like some of the bloggers choose.

I don't think I say it often enough but I am truly blessed you're my fellow leader but more importantly my friend. You're one of the reasons WDC is home to me.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


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122
122
Review of The Cat's Meow  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Sophie review 2 of 2

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Cat's Meow

First Impression: I couldn't pass this by, I'm a huge cat fan. I can totally relate to Dugan's reaction about having a dog invade their space. I'm not a dog hater but I'm not a dog fan either. Many of my friends have dogs and I will pat them at their house but I never volunteer to dog watch.

What needs your attention: I didn't note any punctuation or grammar errors. Kudos

What part I liked best: I thought it was awesome that Dugan could hear Sunny. I believe animals regardless of their breed can communicate.I thought it was heart warming that Dugan was worried about Sunny after hearing the noises in the kitchen.

I have two ginger tabbies and when they're in the catico the hummingbirds visit. The cats make this interesting churling sound and the birds hover and make shrill sounds. I close my eyes and try to imagine what they're saying to each other. Neither cat makes an aggressive move toward the hummingbirds which I've always thought odd but let one of the desert geckos come inside their enclosure and all bets are off.

Overall impression: The story began with two elderly ladies Maddie and Evelyn. They were spending time together before Evelyn was leaving on a
month long trip. Maddie generously offered to watch Sunny, Evelyn's dog much to Dugan's dismay. Dugan ruled Maddie's house and he wasn't thrilled about sharing.
The story took a turn when a burglar appeared and Sunny became quite resourceful.
The story had good pacing and entertaining furry personalities.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


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123
123
Review of Back in Time  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Sophy review 1 of 2

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Back in Time

First Impression: Interesting prompt with a weekend required writing involved with very specific details. My initial thought was that's really restrictive but as I read I noted the prompt details actually were helpful because they kept you from wandering too far off.

What needs your attention: I didn't see any punctuation or grammar errors. But I am curious why you chose to use and here instead of or "And there I sat, for who knows how long, trying not to cry and scream because right after this spot follows and wondering if I'd lost my mind and was really in some mental hospital somewhere and this was my psychotic break. This is a very wordy sentence with a lot of ands. I would suggest changing the first and to or. Then ending the sentence after hospital somewhere. Then changing This was my psychotic break to Was this a psychotic breakdown? It invites the reader to think as well about her state of mind.

What part I liked best: Ciggie lighter and ciggies, reminded me of a high school friend she always called them ciggies not cigarettes or smokes. I found your inventory of supplies hilarious. Airplane peanuts are the worst.

Another day or two or year, that added tension again.

I wished entry four had been a bit longer but maybe you'll come back to this piece again.

Overall impression: This was an engaging read with good pacing and comical commentary as well as the moments of panic. Your character felt believable in the setting and situation.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


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124
124
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Let me introduce myself, my name is Lyn I'm a writer just like you. Everyone has opinions, aren't we lucky! Feel free to take or leave my suggestions.


Hi: Ashok Banerjee

Title: The Calling of tomorrow

What works: This free style poem encourages the reader to consider the potential of tomorrow as well as for future generations. Our every reaction causes another reaction and another reaction. The chain of actions can either help or hurt so it is important we always look at the bigger picture.

What needs attention in my opinion: I felt like the author had the opportunity to ask more of his reader and himself.

In the first line Don't should be Do you listen to

So I do something doesn't really tell the reader what? It would serve your poem better if you said what actions you are taking to make a brighter future.

Your poem has potential but needs some tweaking or expanding so it challenges the reader to rise to the challenge of creating a better future. Poetry is an awesome platform to get people's attention.


Thank you for sharing your work.


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125
125
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi D.J. Venson

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Life Under Pressure

First Impression: I read this all the way through with tears streaming down my face. I wish I could say I can't relate but I can. My middle son and his wife were having their third child and there were complications. The placenta ruptured and the mom was bleeding out. My son had to make the choice if the situation arose and sadly it did. He chose his wife as I'm sensing your doctor did.

What needs your attention: I didn't note anything needing attention except maybe a suggestion to have tissues nearby.

What part I liked best: I found the last stanza profound because it forces the reader to be in that moment with the doctor. It also reminds us to consider the hardest decision we've ever made. Not everyone can say they've been in such a difficult situation. For me, trying to be supportive in a horrific situation knowing that both of them would struggle with the decision. And the horrific reminder that they had already buried a child because their second child was a still birth.

Overall impression: The poem is thoght provoking and a profund reminder that no matter what is happening in our world something worse is happening in someone else's. We should always be grateful for every blessing.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


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