Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: This poem went deep to the hearts of your readers, with the unhappy truth that sometimes you just have to revisit the tough memories we push out of our brains, reflect on them, and ask for guidance in healing those heart wounds. Your use of just the right amount of metaphors was beautiful. I also think your lack of punctuation did a good job of adding to the symbolism in this poem.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "I take a moment to reflect
upon the lake of emotions
I call my heart"
Suggestions for Improvement: Beautifully written poem; I have no suggestions.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and typed out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I find it difficult to review lyrics by themselves, but I'll try my best. I can only imagine how the words will flow together when put to song. I do love your words, though. They interesting and happily romantic, saying the lovers travel off to distant planets.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "Underneath a summer sky they rub elbows with the stars
visit Jupiter and Mars
And when the night is clear heaven can appear..."
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions. Congratulations on your 4th place win!
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and typed out this whole review.
Hi there buddy! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: This was a beautiful piece, full of the unmasked truths about our corrupted world. The way you structured it was stunning and unique.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: There was only one error I could spot. The plural of "ego" is "egos," not "ego's." This one caught my eye, so I looked it up in the online dictionary.
My Favorite Part: "We are so wrapped up in our own ego's, our rigid beliefs,
We will only float away, never reaching the aquatic reefs."
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions. Wonderful poem.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review. Yay for buddies!
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: This was a nice little story of a classic, simplistic young birthday party.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "Being the proper “gentleman” he served the girls first, followed by his cousin Steven. "
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I like your style of free form in this piece. It rhymes occasionally, but it keeps you guessing for when it will. I also like that you can make the enchantress be whoever you imagine her to be.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "Her heart always open for those wanting in.
Look into the night sky, you’ll see her there. "
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: Such a powerful message...and very relevant in our world today. You did a beautiful job conveying this message in poetry form.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "re such men dead inside, devoid of all
human compassion, lacking any feeling "
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: This was a very creative idea, and a unique storyline! Very nicely described, also. I liked how you wrote the husband's accent.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "“Do you think I’m less than a man compared to all those sissy boys you work with at that designing place? Or maybe you measure manhood by the number of dollars a fella’s got shoved up his ass.” "
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I loved this lighthearted, little story. It describes the carefree, excitement of love, and this topic can relate to pretty much any age.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "Suddenly my whole world consisted of those six simple words he had uttered to me in the back of the room. "
Suggestions for Improvement: I can't think of any suggestions, but I'd like to know what became of this guy! Is he your boyfriend? Husband? Forgive me for being nosy. =)
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I agree with this opinion. Though I'm not a parent myself, (I am, in fact, a teenage girl) I believe in this little thought. I'll store it in my memory bank for the future.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "work with the "positives" that they do possess. "
Suggestions for Improvement: Hmm...I don't really have any suggestions, but I think it would be fun to read any other parenting tips you have! Maybe you can write a piece with little thoughts on parenting.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: Great start! I'm really liking this story. I do hope you continue it...please let me know if you do.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies! =)
Grammar/Spelling: There were a couple of commas I think could've been added, but there weren't any glaring errors.
My Favorite Part: "He taught Charlotte everything about the sea, sailing and life. “Ye must always ‘ave respect fer ‘er,” he would say of the sea, in his best pirate voice “fer she’ll turn on ye in a bloody second if yer not careful.” He always respected her, and in return the sea had awarded him a rather large fortune from his dealings."
Suggestions for Improvement: I didn't really understand the part about the hat...first you said it signified privacy, then you said it was supposed to tell Charlotte she was waiting for her. Maybe you could add a little something to explain this better?
Though if you like it that way, it's quite all right. This is only my suggestion, remember, and you by no means have to follow it. (Yes, I know, standard disclaimer, right? But what reviewer doesn't add that sprinkled in somewhere?)
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed this poem...it held plenty of emotion, and by reading between the lines, readers can discover an entire story inside of these few words. There is no need for anything else, because the words you wrote convey everything about the experience. Very nicely done. =)
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors in this area.
My Favorite Part: "and this time, one had your name on it."
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions. I truly enjoyed this piece, and can't think of anything to change it.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I like the way this doesn't make sense, yet it does. You did a superb job of conveying a truth that we all know and hate; great job relating to your readers!
Major Problems (if any): Nothing big. Awesome job!
Grammar/Spelling: The only thing I could spot was the last line. I can see you intended it to be that way; I'm just pointing out it's not proper grammar, though I'm sure you already knew that.
My Favorite Part: "Why is it that can I forgive but not forget,
And I can be forgotten but not forgiven? "
Suggestions for Improvement: I'd suggest changing the last line to: "Because, it just is." I just think it might look better that way. Though if you like it that way, it's quite all right. This is only my suggestion, remember, and you by no means have to follow it. (Yes, I know, standard disclaimer, right? But what reviewer doesn't add that sprinkled in somewhere?) Try looking at it both ways, and see which way looks better to you. After all, that's what really matters.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: This was a great way to convey one true thing about writing, which is said in the last sentence of the piece. I love the way you lead up to telling your readers that, through the typical hardships of a young writer. Awesome job!
Major Problems (if any): I couldn't spot anything major! That's fantastic!
Grammar/Spelling: There were a couple comma issues, but other than that I couldn't spot anything! I'd suggest checking through it to find those small errors.
My Favorite Part: ""You gotta make 'em feel!" "
Suggestions for Improvement: I truly think this piece is wonderful just the way it is. I think you should think about expanding it into an even longer and better story, though; I would look forward to reading it.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I really enjoyed this story. It was short, sweet, and a bit mysterious. You did a great job of describing Shimmy through her dialogue!
Major Problems (if any): Nothing big!
Grammar/Spelling: You were missing a few commas, but other than that it was great! I'd suggest checking through it and catching those little mistakes.
My Favorite Part: "It was a dark and blustery night, which normally meant Roscoe's ears would perk up more than normal, as if he were scanning the airwaves for the best reception to show him the way as he romped around "
Suggestions for Improvement: I'd suggest adding more details about the night around you, from the point of view of each of Shimmy's five senses. Try describing what she sees, hears, feels, smells, and tastes in the darkness; there's plenty of details you can give with that.
Though if you like it that way, it's quite all right. This is only my suggestion, remember, and you by no means have to follow it. (Yes, I know, standard disclaimer, right? But what reviewer doesn't add that sprinkled in somewhere?)
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I liked this poem. It's one that most people can relate to, because it shows that everyone has the right to be individuals, no matter what others say.
Major Problems (if any): I can see that you used a lot of slang words; I'd suggest adding an apostrophe after them.
Grammar/Spelling: I'd suggest adding some commas after lines, and question marks or periods at the ends of stanzas; there isn't really any punctuation.
My Favorite Part: "This is who I am
Can't you see "
Suggestions for Improvement: I'd suggest changing "cuz" to "cuz'" or "cus'" and "biz" to "biz'" or "bis'".
Though if you like it that way, it's quite all right. This is only my suggestion, remember, and you by no means have to follow it. (Yes, I know, standard disclaimer, right? But what reviewer doesn't add that sprinkled in somewhere?)
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I loved this poem because it was completely true, and everything you said makes sense to fellow writers.
Major Problems (if any): It would be more organized if you separated it into stanzas; I'll give you some suggestions on that farther down.
Grammar/Spelling: Just a few errors I noticed:
1st line- "your" should be "you're"
2nd line- second "you" should be "your"
12th line- "breath" should be "breathe"
I'd also suggest adding commas at the end of lines, and a period at the end or at the end of each stanza. (more on the stanzas farther down.)
My Favorite Part: "Instead of telling yourself there is nothing you can do
Sit down and write a story about what you have been through "
Suggestions for Improvement: Stanzas make a poem seem more organized, more inviting, and easier to read. The little spaces in between groups of lines can do a lot for a poem. This poem has 23 lines, so the stanzas won't be even. I'd suggest adding spaces after the following lines in order to form stanzas: 4th line, 8th line, 12th line, and 19th line.
Though if you like it that way, it's quite all right. This is only my suggestion, remember, and you by no means have to follow it. Although, I would encourage you to at least try it and see how it looks. (Yes, I know, standard disclaimer, right? But what reviewer doesn't add that sprinkled in somewhere?)
Also, a little tip to make your WritingML tags work: In order to make the center tags work, you need to remove the space between the bracket and the word in the first tag, and remove the space between the tags and the poem.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: I'll be honest, I had to dig deep to find the potential in this peice, but I assure you, it's there. It's always there as a matter of fact. This needs some serious editing, but with persistence, I'm sure you can make it a wonderful peice.
Major Problems (if any): There are many errors with capitalization, punctuation, and grammar in general. These type of errors can really ruin a great peice if you don't fix them.
Grammar/Spelling: Well, as I said before, there is a serious lack of punctuation and capitalization. I'd advise you to go through and find these errors yourself before asking others to. Editing your own work first is always a good idea.
My Favorite Part: "your voice i heard in the darkness and calm of the night, i feel you by your voice, i make an image of your beauty"
Suggestions for Improvement: I suggest going through the work yourself and editing it. Once you've done some serious editing, and you've fixed those pesky punctuation and capitalization errors, consider expanding this story. It could easily make a longer peice.
Though if you like it that way, it's quite all right. This is only my suggestion, remember, and you by no means have to follow it. (Yes, I know, standard disclaimer, right? But what reviewer doesn't add that sprinkled in somewhere?)
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: Short, but so powerful. Good thing I'm not a political or religious person, or this could sure get my blood boiling. It's very interesting, and I was glad I read it.
Major Problems (if any): Couldn't see any really. Poetry is hard to spot problems, especially in a freeform poem like this.
Grammar/Spelling: Couldn't spot any spelling issues. There wasn't any punctuation at all, but that's quite all right if you like it that way. I, myself, am in love with commas, and I can only begin to think about the many places I would put them in this peice.
My Favorite Part: "Maybe my youth
Clouds my judgment"
Suggestions for Improvement: I'd suggest at least adding a couple commas, maybe one after every line, or even just one at the end of each stanza, and a period at the end. I'd also suggest giving a small explanation at the bottom, asking for people to review it and let you know what they thought it meant when they read it, or what you think it could mean.
Though if you like it that way, it's quite all right. This is only my suggestion, remember, and you by no means have to follow it. (Yes, I know, standard disclaimer, right? But what reviewer doesn't add that sprinkled in somewhere?)
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and bothered typing out this whole review.
This was very interesting and entertaining! I couldn't really find any flaws in it. It was nice to read about something different that I've never heard of; I've definetly never heard of The Boyg. It was an amusing story, and I learned a lot about the history of the place, though I doubt I'll ever go there. Overall, great job!
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