Hi there! This review is on behalf of The Deacon, Mississippi Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I really liked the concept of this piece. You took a simple thing- the cycle of growing crops through the seasons- and used strong words to make a fascinating poem. It shows themes of teamwork, among other things. I enjoyed this poem very much!
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of The Deacon, Mississippi Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
You were able to covey a lot of meaning in such few words by choosing the strongest words possible to make this piece work. The meaning I got from it was that the speaker in the poem was yearning for love. I especially liked this line: "Open wound bleeds no healing tears."
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of The Deacon, Mississippi Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
You drew me in almost immediately with your compelling characters. Even in such a short piece, you gave great background info and actions that developed the characters and made readers bond to them. I think that was the strongest point of this piece. The entire thing held my attention, and I enjoyed it very much! Nice job!
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of The Deacon, Mississippi Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
This was a unique and interesting little piece. It taught a good life lesson, and I got your meaning well. I liked that it was told from JJ's point of view. It worked well in the piece. The fake psychic finally got what he deserved. I only have one suggestion. You switched your past tense to present tense in the last line: "JJ bows his head, realizing he was now the reporter’s trained monkey." It should be 'bowed.'
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of The Deacon, Mississippi Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
This was a wonderful, fantastical piece. I absolutely loved how you incorporated a commentary on society by showing the main character's, who appears to be not from this world, views on the way the people live their lives. You built suspense throughout the entire piece, intriguing readers, until we finally found out she was modeling. The fantasy twist at the end added a particularly nice touch.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of The Wish Granting Project Auction, and concludes your auction winnings. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I enjoyed this cute little puppy story. Your writing style shown through on this one, and I didn't see any big errors in it. I couldn't spot any grammar errors, either. Nice job! Juni sounds like a cute dog.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of The Wish Granting Project Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
This was a cute little piece, with a nice little plot twist at the end. You did the suspense and action portion of it well, and I liked the believable dialogue at the end. One thing you need to watch out for it incomplete sentences. You had a few of them in this piece, and they could have been written as complete sentences.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of The Wish Granting Project Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
This was a cute and unique story. I liked the way you told it from the cat's point of view. It gave much the same vibe as a little kid who suddenly gets a new baby sibling.
One thing you need to watch out for is overuse of exclamation marks. It is usually more effective to use a period. Try reading your piece aloud, and you will see that it might work better if you change your marks.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's Quickie Funny Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
This story drew me in the longer it went on. You crafted a fascinating world that is so like our own in ways. I enjoyed making the connections to the modern objects we have. I especially liked the 'putergod.' The name made me smile.
I think Thevri was a well developed character, but I couldn't help but wonder how she ended up in the tribe and not with her old family. Maybe you could mention that somewhere?
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's Quickie Funny Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I enjoyed this unique story. When I read the first story, it was nice to see the boy's unique perspective, and get the true story up front. Through the second one, I eagerly waited until I saw the connection to the first one. The third story sort of had a whole small world atmosphere.
I wonder if this might be more suspenseful if you made the first story the third story. It would make your readers wonder what the ghost was the whole first two accounts, while already adding to the wondering what the name of the dog is, and then you would finally find out it wasn't a ghost at all in the last story. Just a thought.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's Quickie Funny Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
Even without reading your description, I felt that this poem truly captured the atmosphere of a funeral. I especially liked this line: "change Latin to stained glass shattering vocals." It was such a unique way of describing church hymns that it really stuck in my mind. I have no suggestions.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's Quickie Funny Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I really enjoyed these lyrics. They made me think about the poem, which is always enjoyable. I like to remember something I read, having it echo in my head later on, as it sparks my own ideas from yours. Speaking of which, the ideas for this poem were fascinating and thought provoking. I loved the first couple of stanzas.
I only have one suggestion. The ryhme in these two lines seemed a little forced: Have you ever watched the world go by
because you thought that you could never fly?
It doesn't seem like 'fly' really works here. I would try something like 'because you couldn't spare a try?' or something with 'try' at the end; I think that might work better.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's Quickie Funny Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I loved this funny, lighthearted poem. It was an interesting conversation, with rhyming to guide it along. Your search for a cliche poem was both funny and comically suspenseful.
My only suggestion is to fix a typo. In the third line you forgot to capitalize 'i.'
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's Quickie Funny Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
This poem fascinated me in the way you presented your thoughts to the reader. I loved the way the beginning you described interesting moments that personified a particular season or feeling. It really helped to draw me in as a reader.
To me the meaning I derived from this poem was to look at your surroundings and enjoy the simple beauties around you. I have no suggestions.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's Quickie Funny Auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
This poem was beautifully crafted. Your interesting word use guided me artfully through the journey of this poem. It felt so serene, yet the story itself interested me. I loved the way you crafted the words so it did not rhyme, but it all seemed to fit together.
I especially liked the 5th stanza, and the wording you used. I have no suggestions.
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
By public review I assume you meant of this forum, so here goes nothing!
I think the challenge is explained well, and it sure sounds like a fun one! You use highlights of past rounds to attract potential contestants, which seems to work well. I especially liked the jingle.
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's quickie-funny auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I enjoyed reading your night in Boston. You showed us your journey with actions and thoughts, guiding us along the night and showing us your adventures. I enjoyed the adventure of reading it!
I loved the way you created your own form with this poem. You didn't need rhyme, but you still made your words fit together and flow well. I especially liked what you did with the part about the clown. It gave us a little break from the normal and took us on a side journey from the one we were experiencing.
I liked how we never found out who the companion was. We simply went along with it and saw the sights, instead of focusing on the characters.
Yet again, I could not find a single error. Thanks for sharing this!
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of . Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I loved the way you set up this poem. It felt like you were encouraging the reader to enjoy life and take all chances and just generally live to the fullest. At least, that's the meaning I got out of it.
I liked how you first gave us a symbol, and then a more fulfilling action, and then generally what you get out of doing it, if that makes sense. It helped guide the reader through the different little journeys in the poem.
My favorite would have to be the fourth stanza, just because it shows the importance of learning and remembering history. That's what I got out of it.
Once again, I could not find any errors. You are very talented!
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's quickie-funny auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
This piece had a dreamy, philosophical feel to it. The way the words flowed made me feel like I was drifting through your mind with you. I enjoyed trying to work out the symbolic messages in the piece, while I was gently guided through your words.
You took a simple instance and explored the deeper meanings of it. I liked that you told us of that little moment first, and then related it to normal everyday life. You used diverse wording to give us clear pictures and unique thoughts of your message.
I can't see any errors in this piece; keep writing!
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's quickie-funny auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I really have a lot of respect for those of you who pulled this form off for the birthday contest. I, for one, tried and failed. So I'm already impressed that you made this work and didn't crack from frustration.
I thought you represented the people at WDC well in this poem. The 'infinite and creative soul' and 'family of friends' phrases really stood out in my mind and conveyed the message of who we are really well. I also liked the 'magical age of eight' line.
The entire poem had a joyful, excited spirit. It made me want to go party again! Oh well, I'll have to wait for number nine. The poem flowed well, and I couldn't spot any choppiness. The rhymes, also, seemed to come easily to you.
I couldn't spot any errors, so I have no suggestions. Thanks for sharing this poem!
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! This review is on behalf of Earl's Quickie-funny auction. Hope you enjoy my thoughts! PS: My reviews do not claim to be professional advice in any way, shape, or form. Take what you like and leave the rest!
That said, here are my thoughts and suggestions:
I loved the happiness in this piece. When I read the first stanza, I expected a poem with your typical thanks and Thanksgiving thoughts. But then I read the second stanza, and I started to see just how significant your blessing was. We got our first hints of sadness in the piece. Then the third stanza showed us just how great a miracle it was, and the last was simply happy and proud.
I thought the piece flowed well. I didn't feel any choppiness when I read it; it felt well guided by the author. Your rhymes were unique, and the word choice worked well. I really liked the last two lines of the piece. The message tied the whole poem together well.
I couldn't spot any errors in the piece, so I have no suggestions. Beautiful poem and keep writing!
Thank you for letting me take a peek at your muse!
Caroline Caroline
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: This was a wonderful tribute to your sister. I can see that you care about her very much. Take a look at my suggestions, and you can make this even better!
Major Problems (if any): You had quite a few grammatical mistakes. Take a look at them and try to fix those.
Grammar/Spelling: "To this day I don't think i've quite seen how anyone compaires to the way she looks." The I in "i've" should be capitalized, and "compaires" should be "compares."
The word "poluting" should be "polluting."
"Shes" needs an apostrophe between the "e" and the "s." It should be "She's."
The word "realised" should be "realized."
"Its" should be "it's." in the second to last paragraph and "i've" should be capitalized in the last paragraph.
My Favorite Part: " I can always see its because she really does care about me in a way only a big sister can."
Suggestions for Improvement: "She is very very caring and extremely considerate." I'd suggest using a stronger word in place of "very very." Try using a thesaurus and pick a word that sounds good to you. Also, I think this piece would be stronger if you added little anecdotes to support each statement about your sister. Each of these little things about her could be accompanied by a small "I remember when.." Try it.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and typed out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: This happy little poem expresses a joy and want of just being with the one you love. The form is a little odd, but it rings nicely in a reader's ears. I think this could be improved by adding more stanzas and creating a longer work; with that you could express your feelings more completely.
Major Problems (if any): As I said above, I'd suggest adding more stanzas. Each line of this poem could be embellished upon in its own stanza, strengthening your piece and conveying your meaning more fully. Also try experimenting with rhyming to get a better flow.
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors, but you might consider capitalizing "He" in the 4th line.
My Favorite Part: "Together we stand
Protected we are "
Suggestions for Improvement: As I said earlier, try making this longer and developing it further. Also try using stronger words to get your point across.
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and typed out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: As an 8th grader myself, this poem popped out at me. I have to admit- I was curious to see what you teachers actually think of us. You captured the feelings of our teenage years rather well in the 4th stanza. I love that this was simply a letting out of your observations. You don't judge or decide what the students are now or are going to be. You tell us they hold wisdom for you. I found that an interesting view. I would have thought teachers focus on their passing wisdom to the students. The poem flowed very nicely; even without rhyme, the words fit together. Well done!
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "No judgement I render,
for finding one’s self,
is a life long process. "
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions. Thank you for sharing your port with me today! I hope you enjoyed my views, though I couldn't offer much suggestions. You are a very talented writer, and I am only the age of your own students!
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and typed out this whole review.
Hi there! I'm here to give you my opinion on your peice! I'm reviewing this because I either stumbled accross it and it looked interesting, you gave me a nice review previously, or you asked for me or the general public to review it. Always remember that any changes you make to your writing should be what you want to do with it; I'm just here to tell you my take on it.
Overall Impression: This poem is heartbreaking, and so true. You did an amazing job getting inside the mind of the internet abuser, while showing us how easy it is to do, and how much it can hurt. The flow was perfect; I wouldn't change a thing. I loved how you used writingML to show the different points of view parts of the poem are coming from. The end part was wonderfully innocent and helpless sounding. It felt small, if that makes sense. Beautiful poem.
Major Problems (if any): No biggies!
Grammar/Spelling: I couldn't spot any errors.
My Favorite Part: "Sharing our children with a click of a mouse,
raping, abusing in the shelter of house. "
Suggestions for Improvement: I have no suggestions. Gorgeous writing!
Thank you for opening your heart and letting me take a peek inside! I assure you I thoroughly enjoyed it, or I wouldn't have finished it and typed out this whole review.
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