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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/eskay/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
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222 Public Reviews Given
222 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Fade Away  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Wow, Lightbringer! Excellent little story - I figured he was dead at the start of the second para. (Or that this was a dream, or an illusion, now I think). Which was it? Fascinating treatment of the subject of dying - I liked how he goes through all the motions of living (if dying was what you were writing about) and gets bumped around and stuff.
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Review of Max und Liesl  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very moving in its simplicity - an elegant story about love, dignity, undying commitment, and drama. I just think you hurried it along quite a bit - was this for some contest? And while you've written it very well, it was a bit confusing in a couple of places, for instance, after this exchange the next para says she's (already) engaged to him.

“Liesl, will you marry me?” She froze. Max’s face fell.

“Max..I can’t. I have a secret.” He stood up and dusted off his knee.

But overall it has great potential - perhaps you might wish to see if you'd like to work some more on it. All the very best and welcome to WDC!
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Review of The Troll Wife  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile* Really enjoyed this tale! It's evident you enjoy writing - and you should certainly get this published, if you haven't already. All the very best!
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Review of If I Stay  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice - I like how you have gone with the flow and let it rhyme where it does. Suggest you check for typos - and welcome to WDC!
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Review of Alone  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Chillingly clever! Only suggestion is to make it a little more lucid (which given the context, would be a challenge *Smile*) - and edit it thoroughly. Excellent psycho-thriller short story! Welcome to WDC - hope you have a great time here!
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Review by eskay
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Couldn't stop reading! You're a writer, no doubt about it - and I'm sure a very competent hospice carer too! There's very deep thought and an almost matter-of-fact philosophy running through it all - could only have come from personal experience. Very humane treatment of all your characters, an intimate knowledge of your central character's mind, great color, atmosphere - and above all, a truly sensitive portrayal. Loved it. Just one niggle with typos, etc. A quick edit would fix that. I particularly liked these thoughts:

"This is a time of contemplation without resolution. It is the time when we are either forced to accept the course our life has taken or die in despair."

Thanks much for sharing it - I hope you plan to have this published.
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Review of The Fall of Men  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Interesting start. Your imagery is good - but this is too brief a piece to base a review on. Suggest you check for typos/errors - and do alert me when you post more. All the very best!
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Review of Clouds  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like your attitude the best (in your note - last two lines *Smile*). Yeah, it's your piece and you have every right to stand by it. It's a very interesting take on angels and demons - and clouds and rain, of course. Since I can't resist saying it, you may wish to go over it for typos/spell/errors. All the very best!
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Review of My Favourite Bird  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Very engaging, if short, piece on the wren. Although I'm not deep into nature - I do enjoy shooting flora and fauna (with my camera, of course) - I found it very interesting. You have peppered it with interesting facts and observations. Suggest you check for typos. And a warm welcome to WDC. All the very best!
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Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice little doggie-piece, Randi. Wo/man's best friends do seem so much more human (or at least better representative of all that humanity is supposed to stand for). And they do make us reflect - upon ourselves, and on them - from time to time. An essay that left me with a sense of serenity. But with 3 such companions - why does the dark bother you? What breed is Calvin?
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Review of Toadalee  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile* Or maybe never down too many margheritas on a warm summer afternoon! Thanks for sharing this piece. I liked the seriousness with which you've gone about writing it. Belated happy b'day - and cheers!
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Review of Only of Youth  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi - looks like you're new on WDC. Welcome - and have a great time! You've gotten off to a good start with an evocative piece on the vulnerability and gullibility of youth. Suggest check for typos/errors/tense, for example:

". . .But that's what you get, when you trust one individual
Whom gives you no reason. . ."
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Review of Sara's Bio  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile* One of the best bios I've read. I'm guessing you didn't write this on one of your bad days. I think it's your inherent and very healthy sense of humor that fuels your life and work. Keep smiling, keep writing!
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Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi - this is an interesting and scholarly argument. Although I do see things a bit differently. Your examples about the esteem needs in particular are in the social context - whereas humans who have healthy self-esteem wouldn't feel embarrassed or seek upgrades merely to 'fit in'. Also, the job of marketers is to fuel desire - so I do agree that they cannot create needs. If products fail there could be several factors including quality, reach, positioning, push, etc. Perhaps there is need to distinguish between needs and pseudo-needs. Thanks for sharing this.
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Review of Winter  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Coooooool (pun intended *Smile*) - very nice little acrostic piece, Maryann! Looks like a lot of fun. Maybe I'll give it a shot one of these days...
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Review of Story Maker  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Creepy-cool *Smile* - even though I'm not really a great fan of horror stories, I found this very engaging! Well-written, well-told and very nice juxtaposition of a normal (if addictive) person plonked in an environment that she digs so much. I liked the atmosphere too - and of course the twist in the tale. All the very best!
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Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Mmm...deep! Many of us who have allowed the winds of destiny (if that's what we believe) toss us around - leaving us spent of our own strength. Very nice bit of thinking!
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Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Made me think - very interesting analysis of one of the fundamental units of emotional expression. I liked this line the best:

"Is it that frozen sea of my complicated thoughts that has started melting?" Very evocative description.

Suggest check for typos and some basic errors - not too many. All the very best!
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Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very interesting - in a weird sorta way. And I mean weird not in the negative sense - more like suddenly being suspended in a space-time warp. Very well-written, of course, easy flow and very normal in that many people would be able to relate to most of it. Except for that strange encounter. "Easy come, easy go...", as Nancy might've said had she known about it *Smile*! Glad I read this piece.
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Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Super-duper fun! Great blend of atmosphere of the future and the past in 'The Shop', very cool central character, tight narrative, pace that doesn't let up and a plot that keeps one riveted to the tale. I think that you've developed Athenais' character the best. You might want to edit it for typos/errors of which there are very few. Very well written indeed! All the best.
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Review of Empty Vessel  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Very interesting thought, well-crafted - just like the vase. Certainly not empty. But you might wish to 'fill it up' a bit more - since it's a short story, I presume. You might also want to double check for typos/errors, although there are very few. A couple of examples:

"Each vase, each pot was one-step closer to being completed." (One-step should be two words, not hyphenated)

"The last vase on the shelf was a beautiful slender verdant vase." (I don't think 'verdant ' works here)

All the best!
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Review by eskay
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I was just thinking that if I had someone like you for my English teacher way back in school, I would've probably learnt something of the language! You've explained some of these rules very well - with easy to understand examples that will stay in the mind. Your tips on writing, self-editing and especially the rules that trip writers up make for an excellent manual. But shouldn't 'in to' in the sentence below be one word *Smile*?

"...an occasional typo or spelling mistake still makes it in to print."

Also - since I'm from India - I was curious about 'Alot' (it is certainly the town that you've mentioned - though I was unaware of it). I couldn't recall or locate any reference to it as an urban political unit on the lines of a municipality:

"'Alot' is a town (and a form of an urban political unit in India comparable to a municipality), in the Ratlam district of Madhya Pradesh, India."

I'm sure this piece will be useful to a lot of us on WDC.
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Review of What is God  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Before I write anything about the poem, allow me to comment on the little note you have in your portfolio. Heart-warming. And I can see where this very simple and nice view of god comes from. Suggest you check it for grammar/typos, though. All the very best.
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Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Superb effort - could make a graphic novel/comic book script. And since you wrote this when still in your teens, it's quite amazing. However, I think the prologue and Chapter 1 could be more engaging - in terms of needing to be more convincing (in that make-believe world of 9 million years ago when, according to evolutionary theories, only the great apes were around). Also you might wish to go through it for typos and errors. But, as I said, it's an excellent effort for a start! All the very best.
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Review of Spark  
Review by eskay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Very interesting. But is it a short story? As in one person talking to another, but the reader's not in the know? I was somewhat confused - it read more like an essay, or a perspective to me. It's written well, no doubt - and I liked the core thought (going beyond one's defined comfort zone). Did you also make it one single mass of text without paras for effect. Personally I felt it makes it more difficult to read. All the very best.
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