. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
I thought your story was full of descriptive text and the interaction between the Stranger and the Warrior was interesting. I was confused at the ending wondering what exactly had happend. Was it the Warrior's village that was buring and had the Warrior done it? I wasn't sure what role the Stranger was playing in the story.
{Plot:
I didn't quite understand the plot but it might have been me misunderstanding or not following it carefully enough.
Characters:
The characters were good.
Dialogue:
The dialogue was very good.
Grammar:
Only a couple of things I questioned: besides the Warrior (beside the warrior) every once in a while we need fight (??every once in a while we fight or we need a fight??)
Suggestions:
I'm guessing that there will be more chapters to this story? Keep up the good work.
Smiling At Goodbye (E) Here's one about saying goodbye to a very dear friend. Gosh, I don't do happy poems, huh? #1789788 by DeusExApparatus
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I liked this little poem that says a lot in a few words. It appears the writer was trying to let go of something very precious to him/her.
The writer showed a lot of emotion in that the person was trying to be brave and hold back tears at the loss of something and finally came to another place where he/she was able to let go and step back from it, at the same time comforting the other person and letting them know that it is ok to show emotion and cry.
Congratulations on your Writing.com Anniversary!!!!!
Rhyme & Meter:
Very nice.
Grammar/Spelling:
No apparent errors.
Suggestions:
You have a way of saying a lot in just a few lines.
All That Matters (E) Sometimes being there for someone is all that matters.(fiction) #302619 by TigersEye
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
This was such a compassionate story. It says a lot about that little girl who didn't give up on her elderly friend even though most children and even adults would not have remained that steadfast. The little girl never expected any reward for what she was doing and I doubt, at the time, she realized how much she was giving to the elderly lady. I think the story is a great reminder for all of us to just take that little bit of time and give it to someone else to bring a little sunshine into their otherwise drab lives.
{Plot:
I don't think there was so much of a plot in this story as a life lesson.
Characters:
I loved the loving relationship between the little girl and the elderly person.
Grammar:
I could find nothing wrong with grammar.
Suggestions:
If this was a personal story than I am sure that the writer has all the compassion and emotion she needs to write compelling stories. If it was fiction, then the writer must still posess those basic qualities in order to write this.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I really liked this story/poem. It brought out the forgiveness aspect in an interesting way. How often do we lash out with words without thinking what the other person has been through. I liked how you coerced the man into the cab as he was uncomfortably standing out in the rain. Nice imaginative poem!
Rhyme & Meter:
I liked the flow of the poem.
Grammar/Spelling:
Only one thing I did not understand:
just as he started to cried (I didn't understand the word cried in that sentence)
Suggestions:
Keep on with your creativeness and the way you have to make a morale out of a good story!
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I see you already have 5-5 Star Reviews and I must follow suit. This is a wonderful poem, I enjoyed it so much. You captured the holiday season perfectly from the hustle, bustle, negativity, to all the wonderful things about Christmas. What was so touching about your story was one of the little things we don't always think about when we think about Christmas and that's the little red bucket and all the helpers who make it possible.
Rhyme & Meter:
The poem was very easy to read, the rhythm and meter were great!
Grammar/Spelling:
There were no errors that I could find.
Suggestions:
You obviously have a good heart or you would not have thought of this poem. You also have a way with words that makes the reader feel something. I will remember this poem every holiday season from now on.
Unhappy Holiday (ASR) This isn't an Earth story. I only used Earth names because of the Writer's Cramp Prompt. #2066470 by PureSciFi
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
This was an interesting but somewhat confusing story. I was left wondering where these people came from and what the cubes were supposed to represent. My impression was that they were able to transform any object into a small cube? The writer spoke of the entertainment at the cabin a couple of times. I was curious what the entertainment was, it didn't specifiy further in the story. At one point in the story someone said 'Actually Uncle Ronald is coming'. I couldn't figure out who made that statement. The story did have a surprise ending with the revealing of how Uncle Ronald died.
{Plot:
I'm not sure what the plot was unles it was the killing of Uncle Ronald. If so, it left the reader wondering why?
Characters:
There wasn't a lot of description or personality attributed to the characters, in my opinion.
Dialogue:
Not a lot going on with dialogue.
Grammar:
I only found a few things (below): the statement: James said all that. (I wondered why the writer put that in the story, I didn't quite get it) got place to the side (got placed to the side) the rest of the relative (the rest of the relatives)
Suggestions:
I think this was a limited word contest so I understand that the writer was trying to get as much into the story as the contest would allow which sometimes leaves us to eliminate key elements that would make the story more understandable and entertaining. I think the writer has a good idea here. The story raised a lot of questions for me that I think could be developed into a much larger story. Where the people came from. What was the idea behind the cubes. What were they doing there (where were they)? Why was Uncle Ronald killed?
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. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
This was a humerous story from beginning to end. I thought the writer was very imaginative to have even thought of it. The descriptions and voices of the animals just lent to the comedy. I also thought the dialogue about his dislike of Kansas and the oddness of his uncle was a great addition. Such a strange little story, but thoroughly entertaining. I sit and wonder what happened to the animals?
{Plot:
There wasn't really a plot to the story; it was more like a series of events.
Characters:
I thought all the characters were perfect!
Dialogue:
The dialogue was great all the way through. Grammar:
I did not find any errors.
Suggestions:
This may have been written for a limited word contest, I know that sometimes there is a lot more you would like to add and can't do it. I would like to see this expanded just a bit more. I think it's worth building on.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I wondered as I read this story/poem if this was an event that had actually happened to the writer. It is always dangerous when hiking so far from any type of help when an accident happens; and they always seem to happen so quickly. Makes one wonder what would have happened if the helicopter had not come at that precise moment. It must have been frightening for her to leave him there, not knowing if she would see him alive again.
Rhyme & Meter:
This was not really a rhyming poem; it was more of a story.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
This was an easy to read story. It seemed to flow very well as I read it out loud. I got the picture of Jamica, making me wish I were there. I'm from Wisconsin, I believe Duluth is in Minnesota. I think you got the sentiment of a love sick boy correct, it was believable. I was a little baffled as to why she was also in Jamica as I thought the boy was there with his family; I wondered if she was part of the other family that had joined them?
{Plot:
It was a build up to the ultimate good-bye at the end, in my opinion.
Characters:
The characters were described well.
Dialogue:
I thought the dialogue was great.
Grammar:
I did not find any grammar or spelling errors.
Suggestions:
Maybe just change Duluth to Minnesota.
Saving A Few Salmon (E) A storoem about whether it is worth saving a few out of hundreds. #539790 by Harry
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I loved this little story-poem. It shows the two sides of human nature very well. I am on the side of the teenagers who made a valiant effort to save as many salmon as they could. I loved the last line - We're doing what's right, because of that I'll sleep tonight. It's so true that one little act of kindness can make you feel better about yourself. I always wonder how some people can be so cold hearted, seemingly feeling no emotion for others or creatures on this earth.
Rhyme & Meter:
This was more of a story than a rhyming poem.
Grammar/Spelling:
I did not find anything wrong with spelling or grammar.
Suggestions:
I fell that the writer has a good heart and deep emotions which will take them a long way in their writing if it hasn't already done so. Thank you for sharing. It's one of those little things that you read that sticks with you all day long.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
First of all, I would like to thank you for the larger type, making your story easier to read.
This is a very interesting story that captures reader's interest right away. I think the writer has done a lot of research, the story is full of very complex details that only research could have developed. There is a lot going on here. All that being said, the story is full of punctuation errors that need to be corrected. I will point out some of the ones I found below.
{Plot:
Many plots going on here from the secret the father has kept from William to the plans being made by the Wizard.
Characters:
Characters are full of personality and were described effectively.
Dialogue:
The dialogue between the characters was very good, even includng a little dialect.
Grammar:
I found no grammar errors but quite a few punctuation errors (below): in time you will understand (end of sentence needs a period) regretted his worlds (regretted his words???} way North (end of sentence needs a period) 'boy' (curious why the word was encased in ') his son William (needs comma after William) John replied (needs a period) so long to do (needs a period) ten good years (needs a comma) large round room with and or (this sentence makes no sense to me) moments notice (needs a period)
Suggestions::
I'm sure I missed some of the punctuation. Give it a good read or have someone else do it for you. Sometimes it's hard to catch your own mistakes because you, after all, are more interested in telling the story; as it should be. You've got a lot going on here, it should make a good novel if that's where you are headed. Very imaginative.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
This was a story that gave a lot of detail about traveling across the country. I felt a little nostalgia remembering my trips from Gulf Shores, AL to Wisconsin. The story was believable but a little slow with most of it comprised of the couple driving along. You did have an element of surprise at the end where I expected that there would be some kind of altercation with the stranger who stopped to help. The ending of the story cries for a sequel to find out what happened to the woman.
{Plot:
There wasn't too much of a plot but it did have a shocker ending.
Characters:
Seemed authentic.
Dialogue:
Good dialogue. Stranger's slang enhanced story.
Grammar:
I only found one thing. get Nashville (probably should be get to Nashville)
Suggestions:
I think double spacing between paragraphs would make it easier for us old people to read. LOL. Might I suggest part II to continue the story?
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
I wanted to review one of your stories in celebration of your account anniversary. Congratulations!!!!!
This was a funny story but also one that made you think. It says something of the writer that she had empathy for the woman standing on the curb, many people would have put it out of their mind and never thought about it again. I thought it was funny that the girl was afraid to encounter the woman so she literally gave her the money and fled. What a surprise when she looked out the back window.
Grammar:
There was nothing in error that I could find.
Suggestions:
Sometimes a true event from our lives make for a good story. Hopefully you will find some more of them on your journey.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
First of all I am reviewing this story to celebrate your account anniversary. Congratulations!!!!!
WOW. I can't imagine ever being able to think up a story like this. It was extremely creative and I thought what a nice children's story. Oops, guess not! That being said, it's really a great adult fable, I loved every minute of it. I can't wait to have some of my friends read it. Wonderful fable!!! {Plot:
Characters:
Using the Owls to watch over all the action and put a lesson into each incident was genius.
Dialogue:
Hilarious. Perfect!!!
Grammar:
I found nothing to critique.
Suggestions:
I don't think you need any suggestions from me, you are already a master; in my opinion.,
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
It seems that this is true in all families. The younger children always get on the older ones nerves. It does seem the the younger ones get away with more too. Maybe its because the parents slowly give in a little more as time goes by. I liked that the writer slowly starts to realize that there are also good qualities to her siblings.
Grammar/Spelling:
I couldn't find any errors.
Suggestions:
If the writer's background is from a larger family it might be some good subject matter for another story or poem.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I thought this was a nice poem of hope and then disenchantment. I was impressed by your explanation of what type of poem this was. I think that really helps the reviewer to understand the poem better. Rhyme & Meter:
The poem had good rhyme and meter. Grammar/Spelling:
I could not find any grammar/spelling errors. Suggestions:
There is nothing I can critique to make it better.
Sunlight (E) She is as beautiful as nature can be. #2104304 by Amar
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
I thought this was a beautiful verse. Only one with a loving spirit would have made this analogy between the sunlight and a person's inner self. I think you are correct, sometimes we don't look close enough and enjoy. {Plot:
Grammar:
I couldn't find anything wrong with the grammar.
Suggestions:
This would make a wonderful addition to the little verses they stick here and there in magazines like Readers Digest and others.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
I think it was a good story that had all the right elements, struggle, hope, fear. I loved the phrase - 'wind stole her voice & carried it away'. When she heard the gunshots I thought, "oh good, they are finally getting help." Guess not.
{Plot:
I took it that the plot was merely the fact that they were trying desperately to get home, leaving the reader wondering if they would make it.
Characters:
The characters seemed believable to me.
Dialogue:
I thought the dialogue rang true to a conversation between a scared little girl and her father.
Grammar:
Only 1 little thing I found: anymore of that kind of talk
I think it should read: any more of that kind of talk
Suggestions:
I am assuming this is only a chapter of a novel? If so, keep going!
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
This was a good foundation for a story. There is a lot of action and descriptive text. Most of it seemed believable, some seemed a little over the top. I think the writer has a good imagination. The ending was nice; I took it that the girl and horse died out there, thus left the mark of blood?
{Plot:
The story had a great plot and ending.
Characters:
Characters were full of energy and activity.
Dialogue:
The spacing of the dialogue was something I haven't seen before but it may be a form I am not familiar with. I will point out my reflection below in 'grammar".
Grammar: was wildflowers (I think should be were wildflowers)
12th Paragraph: The man asked (Not sure if that sentence should start a new paragraph)
4th Line: man which was holding (I think should be man who was holding)
15th Paragraph: girl urgently said (Not sure if that sentence should start a new paragraph)
2nd Line: legs seemed to be barely (I think should be legs seemed to barely)
18th Paragraph: I rather be dead (I think should be I'd rather be dead)
Angela said with disgust (Not sure if this should start a new paragraph)
21st Paragraph: decided against it as the footstps (I think it should be as she heard the footsteps)
Your wish is granted (Not sure if this should start a new paragraph}
as she could imagine (I think it should be and she could imagine}
leave the beast here (not sure this should start a new paragraph)
alive of the different sounds {I think it should be alive with the different sounds}
Angela weakly whispered (I'm not sure this should start a new paragraph)
threw the night (Should be through the night}
endured threw everything (should be through everything}
Suggestions:
I wouldn't give up on the story, it is a good story. I would fix the grammar errors and then read through it a few times to see how it sounds. I think you have a talent for story telling with lots of action. Thank you for sharing your story!
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I thought the writer had lost a mate, either due to a breakup or a loss of life. Imagine my surprise at the end when she was talking about her memory.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
At first I thought this was just a regular guy who like the outdoors. You saved your hook for the last couple of lines. I assume that this was for a 300 word contest or there would have been more; it's hard to limit your words when you have something going.
{Plot:
I thought it had a good plot that was held until the end.
Characters:
Believable.
Grammar:
I couldn't find any problems.
Suggestions:
Might be a good start to an expanded story.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
Sometimes great things come in small packages. I laughed out loud when I read this. I might note that it was very imaginative.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
This appears to be a well researched subject. I thought it would be a helpful tool for new writers, such as myself. It's always good to see another person's perspective on a subject. It appears that there are various ways to insert exposition into a story and the writer has to determine which way will work best for the story without becoming so boring that the reader abandons the story. How it is interpreted can be tricky, though, as readers may have differing opinions on what they like to read; some may like more explanations than others.
Grammar:
I only saw one thing:
6th paragraph has the word "still" twice in the line. It doesn't change the meaning but is repetitive.
Suggestions:
It would be nice to see more articles of this nature, I think all writers would be interested.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful!.....Espero
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
It seems the writer was in a relationship that has ended. The ex apparently has lofty ideas of himself and looks down on others. I like the tick/tock reference. I feel the emotion of the poem.
Grammar/Spelling:
Only 1 thing:
1st stanza: You wrote - they're course
I believe it should read their course
Suggestions:
The last line in the 4th stanza doesn't make sense to me.
. This review reflects my opinion only, I am not a writing expert. I hope you find this review helpful. .......espero.
Overall Impression:
The story kept my attention, I could envision two friends talking with each other; one not really believing the other, but still humoring him. When I read the part about bread falling from the sky I thought, "Oh, this is corny." Then the last sentence got me, I wasn't expecting it!
Characters:
The characters seemed real as they talked with each other.
Dialogue:
Dialogue was good.
Grammar:
I didn't find any grammar errors.
Suggestions:
Only one thing I noticed: Sentence: Ray was tired of wanting to believe him but never having any reason. (I stopped reading at this point and had to think about the sentence: I wondered if it would have sounded better like this: Ray was tired of wanting to believe him but was never given a reason to do so.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Espero
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Overall Impression:
besides the Warrior (beside the warrior)
![A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]](https://www.writing.com/main/images/action/display/ver/1349548281/item_id/1893180.jpg "Anniversary Reviews Image1 [#1893180]
A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]")
Sentence: Ray was tired of wanting to believe him but never having any reason. (I stopped reading at this point and had to think about the sentence: I wondered if it would have sounded better like this: Ray was tired of wanting to believe him but was never given a reason to do so.