I loved this poem from the first line. oh so good.....yep....I, too, am familiar with the joyful experience you wrote about in stanza three. I am not a painter but during the lonely days of the pandemic, I followed a tv artist and painted a picture of a waterfall, with someone bathing alone near it. waste deep...I added bluebirds and squirrels, foxes and flowers into the forest scene. Your poem reflects that moment in time.
I found your story in the BCOF May 5. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression:This story delivers a grim look at human nature.
Plot: A broke, loser runs from life to escape his troubles and family obligations. He gets a 2nd chance at life but blows it. The only thing left for him is justice ...what goes around comes around.
Style and Voice:believable
Scene/Setting: You captured Cooper Pedy.
Characters: Three men all murders one has remorse.
Dialog: Good
Suggestions: paragraph 5 "50 degrees" ? probably a mistake.
You must have reviewed something of mine. Thank You.
A personal karma motivated mission I set for myself upon entering the land of WDC is to give return reviews. (Come to think of it, it isn’t an original idea.) And it doesn’t hurt that rewards and friendships sometimes follow.
I am glad I visited your port today. I have highlander blood running through me. That's why I chose this poem to review.
Overall Impression: I loved it! I can feel your energy of excitement and awe to witness such a holy place.
Style and Voice: My favorite lines are A majestic power for the eyes to see
A feeling so special it spiritualises me.
Your highlander ghost might know my Mother Nature.
Hello {User: akomagsusulat} I don’t recall making “happiness baskets”. We made May Day Baskets and filled them with flowers and secretly placed them on the doorsteps of people who we thought needed a smile. Is there a season for happiness baskets?
Reading your essay was exactly what I needed today. I am going print it out and put a copy on my bulletin board as a reminder that I am not alone. Your words, “A loving heart, a caring spirit, a clear conscience means true happiness to me.” This is my motto also.
I like how you capitalized the word “Happiness” as if it is a companion and not an emotion.
A few of your sentences need pulling together; (for example) delete a space after the word "journey" to pull up the rest of the sentence.
Thank you for sharing your recipe for a slice of happiness.
I found your story in the I Write forum. I can't say enjoyed reading it and hope you don't hold it against me. The only reason is because I promised to write a reveiw for the guy I follow.
Overall Impression: Your writing is clean of errors in punctuation and spelling good job with that
Plot:sad and pathetic people find themselves
Style and Voice: believable
Scene/Setting: ok swimming pools and showers
Characters: I hope they are not my neighbors and you are a nightmare to mothers like me who worry all the time about sick perverts like those characters.
Dialog: ok
Grammar and Mechanics: good
Suggestions:
"Yeah. You were probably this big goody-two shoes. Typo did you mean to say miss?
I would love to hear you play sometime. What a blessing you had in your life with your Grandmother AND your piano.
My maternal grandmother had one but I never heard her play it. My cousins and I pounded on it but I wouldn't call it music. lol.
I babysat a girl who took lessons and she hated it. Listening to her practice was painful to my ears. Much later after my children left home, I took a nanny possition for a couple who owned a piano studio. They converted one of the classrooms into a nursery and I was blessed with music all day long. They also had two grand pianos in their home. On my birthday they played a duet for me. It moved me to tears.
Then years and years later while I was a granny/nanny for my daughter, she came upon an old spinet someone painted pink. It was ugly but almost free and its sound was amazing. Grandson number 2 sat down and started playing a chunk of classical music. He never learned to read music but boy can he play it. I remember when the kids got their "Guitar Hero" game. He aced it in a week. I think lessons would have given him an advantage but he learned from u tube videos at his own speed.
Your writing was an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing.
Hello Amethyst Angel🌸📝🪽
I found your story in the I write forum. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression: I love the Christmas miracle premise and promise
Plot: A homeless boy becomes a man. He finds a reason to grow up.
Style and Voice: I like your style and voice seemed believable to me.
Characters: I would like to see Amy more because I want her to have a family too. But this story isn't a romance so nevermind that. lol Your characters are fine.
Dialog: "I'm an antisocial pessimist."
"Wow, is that contagious?" Alice asked. I thought it was funny, but would a five- year- old say it like that? Or “Can I catch it?”
Grammar and Mechanics: Looks good to me.
Suggestions: In the first sentence “I stumped through” typo ?
Thank you for sharing your story. Write On! Good luck in the contest.
I needed a laugh today so I am reading entries to The Humorous Poetry Contest and I found this delightful poem. It goes to show how hard work and enthusiastic determination wins rewards.
I found you on my fan list then followed you to your port.
This autobiography of your experience of having a heart attack is well written and powerful. I experienced it with you.
I should remember to keep a bottle of the orange baby aspirin handy.
Thank you for sharing. I am glad you no longer fear death. I understand from sitting with many, at that moment, it can be a homecoming.
Hi THANKFUL SONALI Now What?
I followed you from a thumbs up you gave to Happy World Kindness Day post. This 11th Power poem is educational , poetic and orangely beautiful.
Thank you for sharing.
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Overall Impression:This story delivers a grim look at human nature.
