Well, Well villain; what a heated, aggressive approach. Quite expressive, the force behind the words you used are what makes this a very excellent piece.
Through your writing, I could feel,the outrage in your voice, even tho you were no where around me. This is a great piece of work and the energy that comes through those "WORDS" make a strong statement for a novel movie or and series.
I can differentiate feel you!
Hey, this is a piece for a interesting novel. This is also a story that I drag to see or even hear about. Forget about my personal views. This story has a great dialogue, so often time we hear of living arrangements just like this.
Your ability to be detailed is a tremendous asset to this piece.
I assume the numbering system listed, is for chapters, if not then I see no need to have them
listed in such order.
Now, please remember I am not being nice; just honest to you. Your work of art is great, I've laugh and I enjoyed the humor that is presence.
This is a awesome and true piece, simply because this does happen. As long as there are people and they move around the world this will hold my attention and others.
Your writing ability is a plus, the structure of your story is great. The suspense that is in this story makes you wonder what is next, and that is great for readers.
This is not a favor(REVIEW) if you're good you're GOOD!
Love this piece, it's so warm and cozy. On the other hand exciting and mainly detailed.
Great piece for a novel. The calmness that you have in your writing along with the matter in which the characters engage is very cooooooooooool.
I was actually looking the next page.
Keep Writing and holding readers in suspense!
Sheep
I still have my mouth open! yes,literally!
This is a cooooooooooooool breeze of fresh air.
Great choice of words lots of rhythm, I was beginning to look up even tho it's daylight.
I can feel you! This is a short to the point, but warm piece of Art!
The group of words that you have selected to come together and tell the love and kindness of the Love that is shown is great.
Two things that I find that aid in enhancing this piece is: The ability to pick the right words
and the when and where to add the tune. (Smile)
Great Story line, Great setting, it makes me wonder, is this fiction or non fiction? Now, for me to wonder this, "You must be Excellent" to have the ability to hold the attention of your readers is a plus in writing.
The choice of characters and this brings me to the next question, was this piece written in one day?
Yes, that's another plus too.
Oh, people can meet a fresh face anywhere and just so happen, your event was a funeral!
Excellent Story, really if ever there was a perfect 18th century story with lots and lots of excitement and suspense this is it.
Best structure, story lines and amazing descriptions of the town, landscape and the major then was the Giant. Can't leave him out, writing a plus and this piece is truly in need of another cover holding it together in the form of a novel.
Great piece, very informative and the situation you presented of the stay in your lane female, is remarkable. So often we need to be more diverse on all levels. Writing skill is a plus; you stayed with your subject matter and were able to execute your ideas and come to a productive closure.
I'm not sure whether to keep laughing or cry. I was wondering if this is a daily post, something like a blog? Are you writing a mini book on how to laugh and cry all at the same time.
Which ever you choose, there is room for your story in the funny section of bookstores all over the country. With a little fine tuning on grammar and a little editing, you'll be just fine. Oh, at least a couple more pages will help too.
Auntie, Auntie I am reading your poem out LOUD and I HEAR no RHYTHM NONE!
Your words are great but you must have a SOUND; that sings a melody during the duration of your piece.
A melody is what makes the Writing So Great.
Now I can see that you took time and effort, toward bring this piece of work to this point.
I am sure you can go back to the drawing board/place of ideas and bring more depths of closure to this piece.
We need music, we need letters with notes that reproduce a SOUND!
Back, Back you can do this, We will be waiting.
Strong words, but yet to the point and without reservations.
You are rewarding and commending all at the same time, now to what group this could easily go to none other that the military.
]This piece demands attention! You gives it just that, attention!
Great story, the way we react during a meal many times goes unnoticed. Your writing ability is quite interesting and to the point of serious details. Yes, details are a plus in writing, many writers do not take the time to give the interesting observations.
The detail descriptions are what makes this story so unique in it's own way. Characters are a plus and the setting, the dinner table, what a remarkable place.
I see you, real short and sweet and to the point. Flow of words, selected with care and with a tune.
Poetry sounds so good when their is rhythm. After writing this piece you have proven that their is more to that hand stroke than you let us know!
I thought this was the most effective Blog yet! Differently current and on time and to the point! We all have expierenced this event a couple days ago whether we blog it or not!
Your story plot is remarkable, I felt like I was reading a book, character choice a plus, this piece sounds like a typical brawl with brothers growing up. The next chapter should be somewhat very similar, the height of this piece is the closeness that the brothers have alone with the adventures that
are experienced on a daily basis.
One question I have is why are the lines spaced in this matter, In book form you have paragraphs and the spaces are usually single pace never double or even triple.
Good format your words are quite interesting, what I was looking for was a rhythm that is so often used in this type of writing.
Have you taken the time out to read this aloud, maybe just maybe you will hear what is missing. Nothing major,just a little fine tuning
that can make a different. Take a little time to engage in the sound. A for effort
Well, Well this is very interesting, mainly for you to put it all out there is remarkable. Why, do I say that, so many of us have the same deja vu feelings,it's just some of us are smart enough to address it and have strong desires to make a change.
Very remarkable piece. I Feel this was more of an open confess that could easily be placed in a leather binder for readers to enjoy. However, it is written in good taste and with plenty of intensiveness. To just add to your comment about, saying"Good Job" to yourself, there are times in all our lives when we must, "Encourage" ourselves. Remember that!
I've read this three four times trying to hear the TUNE!
The structure is great your words have LOUD Rhythm
For some reason you, stop the MUSIC in the middle off each Sentence
This is too Good of a piece of ART to just let it sit somewhere
Unfinished Please Please look at again and HEAR you Words
Talk to YOU!
Listen Up! Listen Up! Have you ever taken just a basic writing course? Have you ever just checked out some poetry books from an e-library or went on line to look at someone else's work of poetry. You have great potential I see it in your choice of words, they are very excellent and selective, but in the world of poetry the writing usually produces a rhythm and this sound has music. It's like once you read the words you began to hear the sound and the words will speak to your soul!
I'm not going to say you can't writing, what I am going to say is you have a little of fine tuning to do!
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