I am "LAUGHING LOUD" what a pleasure at the end of a day to set your eyes on such humor. You must write this for the senior centers around the country. Yes, they deserve to LAUGH too!
I enjoyed this to the highest, it was as if this was just for me to see. The words that had a rhythm were superb. I could definitely see that you but time and energy it this work of art. I AM STILL LAUGHING!
I am eating my popcorn and drinking my soda, Keep the lights off, it only intermission. This was truly a goof story, even though I was terrified when something appeared fro mthe woods. I was on the edge, yes the edge of my seat.
Something this good can easily be seen in the movie theater. I feel it would serve a better purpose on the big screen. Great Writing!
Quite impressive, what smooth writing ability you have, your choice of words are at the height of this poetry, Oh, can not forget your format, great for the eyes to behold. This truly proves that you have a classic style and that you take pride in what you have to say! Quite impressive
Very good story, excellent plot. This is a real good story. This should not just remain in your eyes. I feel that there are great protential in this story and with the story writer.
Movies and books are diffently gender around a story like this. The effect that this story has on you are waiting to see what's next.
This is GREATNESS! Hats OFF TO YOU! Excellent ! This truly appears to be something that you easily be a play (Gone with the Wind) maybe?? Motion Picture
this is a piece that can easily be sent for review to (Disney). Every aspect of this poem is enlighting. I found nothing wrong with this poem. Your flow of words, structure your highes and lowes were in the proper order. The end was simply awesome, I felt like I was in the poem. This is truly the way you want your readers to feel.
Ohhhhhh! This is something else. I felt ever word you said, I literally felt them all. This writing from the soul, deep deep. Wow! the pain that you projected, I felt the hearache that was presence I felt that too! Greatness, is a rariety and you just so happen have some. (smile) I found nothing wrong with this, nothing but, everthing right.
Great for a movie, where you get a grammy!
Keep writing
Nice, tick, tick this was a very savvy way of bringing your point together. It was obvious that you had thought this out in detailed. The information that you poured into the reader was that they should pay close attention to how they are using their time. This article could be used for several platforms (1) group setting (2) Christian Education setting (3) Teens (4) Young married couples. This is such a general article and it can affect a wide audience. Of course, this is good. The plot was to get all of us to look at how we are using time, tick, tick (smile)
This is sheer Poetry, This is coollllllll!
The place you selected sound awesome, my hair is blowing in the wind. I just envision the white chair the awaiting rose, all waiting for me. This can easily go to Hallmark cards or American Greetings. I am impressed. Job well done!
This is Good! Something holsom for a change.I liked everything about this, the inner story had several message, (1) about family (2) aging (3) memory I thought this was great for a
tv show "Who's Calling Me" Great for interacting with family and how sometime you have to regroup to encounter the energy that the younger family members have.
Great for Family Center, Today's Family and more. Clean and Perfect!
This was the order for today.
Slap, Slap well thought out piece the writing structure a plus and just to read about the moon in this sense was great. Not trying to flatter you, but you do have away with words.
The price we pay for a approval. This is good I enjoyed the entire plot, because there was a message in the story and this is great for our youth. We all have been young if we are old today and we should be able to see ourselves in this piece. I did not find anything that was out of place or in need of repairs. This was truly interesting and worth my time to read. We need folks who can write and have a message behind it.
Speechless, that is was I am right about now. I have read many poems, articles and books some speeches. Never, Never have I ever read anything so touching!
I had to take a second look, to make sure what I was reading I was reading.
I am spellbound and I am sure your readers will be also. This is the best I have seen
yet. All your words were in place, which means you had a tune, but most important you had a story and you told it WELL!
Way to GO! Way to Go! This is sad but nice! I enjoyed you idealical proposition that you put in place. Every word fix, each one brought his/her own tune, but they all came together at the end with the finale!
I will be delighted to say BRAVO, BRAVO I have been waiting all day just to put my eyes on your special words. This poem has a tendance to rub off on people. You can never get enough of Love!
I am elated, can not find any flaw in this piece, wonderfully written!
There is such a saying that goes like this: When you are GOOD, you are just GOOD. I enjoyed this poem, as a matter of fact, I even put a tune to it. Ever thought about writing music? I could not find any flaw in your piece. Great concept and you do have rhythm!
Close your Mouth! Yes, I am speechless, do not know what to say. This was a very powerful poem. Pat yourself on the back, you deserve that and some more. I was looking for the rhythm of the poem, but I come to understand that the sound was saddness and the beat was cut off! There are several places I could recommend where this can go,one in a book of poem and then in a book. Trust me this is and eye opener and a brain teaser and it can truly go somewhere. Even though it is sad there is a place for it, in everyone's life.
I could feel this story was all in you, it was as if you took one breathe and it all came out at once, because you have been holding this in for so long. Real good story and the concept is great it was more of an informing story. Better yet, the perfect place would be listed in a baby book(Magazine) The choice of characters were a pluse and the idea about the hospital, can make your reader think, "HAVE I EVER HEARD THAT". Your ending was generally on point. The plot was truly geered at the baby and his music!
I am crying, crying this is the perfect story can I say that again, the most overwhelming story. I have read many but, none like this. I was surprised in the begin and in the middle I stayed right by you. I am taken back by this story, it is sad, but yet it is holsom. It shows the closeness of family and, I can not forget the memories. Oh, I am overwhelmed, you make me cry. These are tears of joy and saddness. Everything about this is perfect to me! I find no fault in this story. When you said he was placed in the coffin, that just went through me. Great for a HALLMARK Movie nothing short of that, nothing.
Who are you???? You must be my cousin. I thought I was othe only one that did that. This is quite cool I must say. I am not saying that because, I do this myself. There is a benefit for posting the literature that one reads and that could easily be:
(1) Personally goals
(2) Employment
(3) Book aolic
(4) Research
What your reasons are it is good to list your reading material, you will never be speechless, their are always a author at the tip of your tongue.
Interesting story about Jamie and his friend Wes and Greg many times a good lesson can be well learned or well missed. Concept was excellent characters choice was good the only thing that I did see was you wrote this piece in a descriptive setting and then you came out and placed it in first person. So, with readers they need to have a either or kinda read. Unless you pacify during your writing that you are doing this. After all you want your readers to stay with you. Can be fine tuned.
BRAVO, BRAVO where is the publishers, where are the frames,and where is the poetry group where the hears are waiting for you. You have sincere Greatness, no buts about that.
The world is waiting for you. I find no faults in any of this piece it was truly a joy and pleasure to lay my eyes to this.
I am laughing HA! HA! I feel you. This is cute and yet in today's society many could feel this too! Could this be a description of my Boss, Supervisor and all the games that are plotted during the day. This is good real good I am laughing !
You know as a writer we presence the piece that we are writing to our audience and we do have many groups, and we have to change our writing so we can target a certain group.
For this article you wrote the audience is the threatre a play, yes that is what I get from the way in which you wrote this. A play, not a novel but a play with real live people saying these very lines. You just have a theatrical grip on that pen.
A for effort is what I see to write poetry you must follow these:
1. Find the mood you best write in (yes, you have one)
2. Do drafts, they work
3. Read your piece out loud for you to hear
4. Ask someone else to listen
With these methods you will began to have a better ear for your ideas
and a clearer prospective of what you really want to say.
(Main thing Keep Writing)
Interesting rap piece, ever thought of your work with music??? Well it just might work.
Very interesting and incrediablly done for women. The style was great, your words were good and the cool beat of a drum. Music, Music here I come.
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