This is one of the most beautiful stories I've read in a long time. The only thing I found wrong at all is a couple typos, listed below.
Keep up the good work and keep writing.
Grandma Penny
a life time commitments. <--I think you might need to drop the a or s; example: lifetime commitments or lifetime commitment.
The following fall, Momma and Poppa Geese flew away with the thousands of other geese. Poppa Geese, his wing healed and strengthen by exercise over the summer, flying point, Momma at his left as they flew south. They didn’t return in the spring.I think you might have meant to say Poppa Goose.
I don't know if this is a true story or not. I noticed you entered it in a contest.
It's a great Mother's Day tribute. It's amazing that "Mom" was not only able to be home for Christmas, but also for graduation, and then even another graduation.
Both chapters have really held my interest. To me, if you had the whole book finished, I wouldn't be able to lay it down until I finished the whole thing. But, here I am, wanting to read more.
This is an absolutely interesting story. At first, when I noticed what I thought were typos, I thought maybe you had made them on purpose to look more country.
Then I noticed other booboos that I knew you wouldn't have made on purpose. By that time, I was so into the story that I let them slide.
It would probably be more helpful to you if you just read it aloud. It seems like it's easier to catch errors that way.
I need to hurry. I'm anxious to see what happens in the next chapter. You've ended this chapter in such a way, I just have to read the next.
This is a very heart warming and touching poem. You've done a good job with this piece. It might be easier to read if you doublespaced between verses(usually 4 lines per verse). But I counted and that would leave you 2 lines at the end.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
Pretty good story! I love to fish so the title caught my eye and I clicked on it.
I didn't mark booboos. The biggest thing I saw was the fact that you jump from past tense to present tense.
I realize in the action paragraph using present tends to put the reader right there with you. You might could separate that part from the rest of the story by making it present tense only.
You did a great job with this piece. The only thing I see that might make it easier to read would be for you to doublespace between paragraphs. That would make it easier on the eyes. A large amount of singlespaced type causes the lines to eventually begin to run together.
Other than that one suggestion, I think this is a good write.
I was about to get upset at the ending and the I remembered it's a prologue to a story.
At least you've got my interest peaked. Have you written more of this?
I found one error in particular you might want to fix. You also might want to read the whole thing aloud and notice for errors. There were several places that it seemed to me you had left out a word here and there.
I could feel the soft linen against my ? and heard faint music
I like your style of writing. It really sets my mind to thinking. (That's something I haven't been able to do a lot of since my son had his accident...He's ok...still disabled...but not too sick to drive his mom crazy
I have another story I plan to put back into my port soon that is about my greatest accomplishments...learning a whole new vocabulary since I moved from the city to the country.
This is another beautiful poem. This poem has so much truth in it. Life sometimes deals us lots of lemons, but we just have to have faith and hope and make lemonade. Right now, I'm having some difficulty squeezing out those lemons, but with faith in God I know I'll make it.
This piece is written beautifully and without booboos. I can tell you take pride in your work.
You're absolutely right. There are so many different kinds of Christmas. This should be posted where all can see. We all need to read this before we get into the Christmas Season.
This caught my eye because I have a thing about frogs. There's the one that got into my house when my children were teens. I had been a widow for several years. One night on my way to bed, I noticed a big green frog under my piano stool. I awoke my daughter and talked her into getting out of bed to get rid of the frog for me. Just as she was about to wallop him with the broom, I yelled "Stop"! Then I told her to kiss him and see if he was my prince. Needless to say she didn't think my joke was funny.
Also, when I worked at DSS everytime it rained I heard this duck going "Quack, quack". One day I asked the other girls if that was the AFLAC duck. After all the laughter died down a bit, one of the girls said, "Penny, that's a frog." Now that blew my mind because where I came from the frogs croaked; they didn't quack.
I'm sorry. I got carried away. You did a wonderful job with this and I found absolutely no errors.
What a cute little story. I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. You did a wonderful job. I especially like the pictures you used in telling the story.
I've enjoyed most of the stories I've read so far.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
I found this to be interesting. This is the kind of story I really enjoy. The suspense! I love the ending.
I found a few booboos you might want to go in an fix.
ythe gales sent salt spray everywhere, stinging the skin and eyes of the crew's faces.
The crew was preparing to make the journey home, when the lifeboat was struck by lightening.
"All is not lost lads, we can get home by instinct like, just they did in the old days.<---Somehow this doesn't look quite right. Could you have meant "All is not lost lads, we can get home by instinct,just like they did in the old days.?
This piece seems to be well written. I found no typos or misspelled words in it. It seemed as I read it, that there should be music flowing with the words.
I'm not sure where the journey was to, but you've given pretty good description of the land.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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