This is very heart breaking. It's awful how some folks can mistreat a small child (or anyone else as far as that goes).
I take it this is a true story.
As far as the way it is written, I saw one error you might want to go into edit and correct. The last line They wontshould be won't fade unless you let them disappear.
I'm sorry. I got so carried away remembering as I read this piece, I forgot to mark the errors I caught. I only remember seeing two. Both were the word ghost. In both places where you used this word, you should have used the word ghosts.
I feel that this would look and read better if you'd double space between each paragraph. Also, when you change speakers, you should double space between speakers.
Oh, and Debbie, I heard you saying how much toyou loved Fun Fairs – me too.
they'd take another half hour.
Funnily?<---This might be a word, but I have never seen it or heard it used.
“Lets<--This is a contraction for let us. Therefore, you need to use an apostrophe; ex. Let's try for a Coconut;
We got the last two cars and were well apart when they switched the electricity on.
There where bound to be nights
This was very interesting. Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
Wow! What an experience and what a powerful testimony. After reading the contents of this story, I hate to point out errors, but it would work better with a few corrections.
The last sentence in the fourth paragraph needs a period at the end of it.
Because of the pain, and the visiable scars,Oh my goodness, I started to correct you on spelling, but I'm not sure which one is correct...visible or visable...you might want to check it out.
You may not want to say, but I'm wondering which part of NC you are from.
This is a very helpful and informative story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
It would be a lot easier to read if you would double space between each paragraph. That's much easier on the eyes.
Below I've marked a couple errors you might want to correct.
I did not have to undergo radiation or chemotherapy.<--Here you probably need to insert a comma instead of a period--> but I was left with a greatly weakened immune system.
However, andy cancer patient can tell you that the treatment or even eventual death is not the most devastating aspect of cancer.
This piece is very well written. I found no typos or misspelled words in it.
It's full of humor. I chuckled all the way through the story, just guessing at the ending. I was a bit off base. I thought maybe there was a chalk eggs.
This is very touching and heartwarming. There's just something about grandmas, especially good grandmas. I still miss my grandma and she died in 1960. I remember so much about her. I think she had as much influence on my life as anyone else did.
This is another beautiful poem. You just have a way with words. The words reach out and touch the heart of the reader. I don't see anything I think you should change with the piece.
You caught my interest in the beginning and held it all the way. You've ended this part in a way that the reader feels anxious to go on to chapter one.
I found one error, listed below.
Her face cringed as she drew forth an internal energy only one other had caused her to resort n<--Not sure what goes here using.
Gosh! This is just too cute. I hope you have more of this type memories in your port. I love reading things like this. Believe me, today, I need all the laughs I can get and this one certainly brought a chuckle from me.
You did a good job with this little Christmas story. I don't think there's a purer love than the love of a child; especially a child like Jimmy who isn't spoiled with so many of this world's riches.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece.
Can you give me an idea how to find Christmas contests? I'm not having much luck in finding them.
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