I see nothing you could do to improve this poem. I found no typos or misspelled words and it reads smoothly. You held my attention from the first line to the last.
It's a beautiful poem and I could feel the gratitude in it through and through.
This is a very interesting story. I have a suggestion. Each time you change speakers, you should double space. I had a bit of trouble deciding when you had changed speakers.
The story not only had a lot of sadness in it, but it ended with a bit of sadness.
Mercy! You and my best friend would make a great pair. She loves to catch you with your mind way out yonder somewhere and make some type of startling noise.
Come to think about it, my oldest son is like that too.
I'm sure once the shock wore off, Bill thought it was funny, also.
Did you Dad return? This is so typical of what alcohol does to a person. My dad was an alcoholic. I'll always believe he killed my mother, but as I grew into an adult, I was able to forgive him (only after his death).
---the substance that caused theI think you left out a word here he had declared on his family that day.
He shook the gun at her and said threatened to kill her.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
This was very interesting. I was really into this dying thing and then learned it was a play.
I found a few errors you might want to correct.
“Thank you Thank you Jim for everything” Needs to be broken down a bit maybe. Ex. Thank you. Thank you, Jim, for everything.
They bowed and Jim stepped to the side this two hands pointing and clapping Sadie. I'm not quite sure what this needs, but somehow it just doesn't look quite right./b}
he really felt he got through to them in the final deathbed scene
This is an interesting piece. I could certainly identify with this. I'm glad there was someone in my life to encourage me.
Keep writing.
doodling butterflies around my name I had carefully wrote written in my best cursive. the word had is a helping verb. When using a helping verb with the word wrote this word should be changed to written.
to ask a question I’d have had on my mind all day.
And so I did…years later I earned two scholarships that allowed me to go to afford college, <--Something doesn't look right about this sentence.
I love this! Somehow, I have always gotten caught up in my own little traditions. I do like change, but it's nice to have a tradition also.
When my children were small, we always went out of town to my husband's mother's home for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Santa had to come to Grandma Maude's instead of our house.
I started letting my two oldest children open a small present a day for two weeks before we went to Grandma's. (Inexpensive gifts, of course). When my third child came along, we still did the same. This continued until they were grown.
This is absolutely beautiful. It really does take all these ingredients to be happy and to make others happy. You're right about it going a long way...as far as we allow it to go.
Not only is this piece beautiful, but it is so heartwarming. It really pulled at my heart's strings. I know what it is to miss your mother. My mother passed in 1960 and I still miss her. I think I probably think of her more during the Christmas season than any other time.
After all, she's the one I made so many of my Christmas memories with.
This piece is very well written. At first, I thought maybe the author was a lady talking about her husband. Then near the end, I was shocked at who your Santa really is.
This is absolutely beautiful. There is so much truth in it. We do tend to forget whose birthday it is. I was thinking about that tonight. When a family member or special friend has a birthday we usually make a big deal for that person with gifts, cake, etc.
We should get caught up in the excitement of Jesus' birthday also.
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. Although I found one error, I still think it is as near perfect as it can be.
