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4,125 Public Reviews Given
4,254 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Mirror Image  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Hello Sharon

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

I enjoyed the philosophical questions asked by this poem. The struggle between good and evil, and right and wrong, is something that I think everyone can identify with. Similarly, I think we all ask ourselves at one time or another what our true nature is given our own inherent contractions and moral conflicts, and I think your poem did a great job of capturing the essence of those questions.


*Penw* Suggestions

The two middle stanzas felt a little disjointed, which I think might be due to the imperfect rhyming couplets that don't quite match what you did in the first and last. While there's nothing inherently wrong with imperfect rhymes in poetry as a whole, having them side by side with other actual rhyming couplets accentuates the differences and makes for a somewhat uneven read.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I enjoyed this poem. I thought the subject matter was great and it was really thought provoking. There's a bit of room for improvement in the execution itself, but you've got a great foundation here to work with. Nice job!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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77
77
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hello Elengarmon

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

You did a really good job of providing a lot of context and Biblical reference points for your argument. For those who are familiar with the concepts you're discussing, I think it's a well-reasoned, and well-written piece that really makes your point well.


*Penw* Suggestions

For those who are not familiar with Christian theology, it feels like this piece would have a hard time connecting. It begins with essentially an assertion that everyone's a sinner, and is incapable of fixing that on their own. And while that's not untrue, in my experience it is a viewpoint that takes a considerable amount of time and investment to get nonbelievers (or even some Christians!) to fully comprehend, and dropping that on the reader at the very beginning as a statement of fact could potentially make it difficult for some readers to identify with the valid point you're trying to make.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. Depending on your audience, it could either be a very effective way of presenting the Christian beliefs about sin in a succinct and clear way. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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78
78
Review of Autumn  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hello Joan

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

I liked the imagery in your piece. Autumn is my favorite season, and you did a great job of capturing everything that I've come to love about it: the leaves, the changing weather, days getting shorter, etc. You really managed to capture the essence of the season in comparatively few words. Nice work!


*Penw* Suggestions

The syllable count between lines in the first stanza had a large disparity (6-7-10-11) which led to a bit of an uneven read to start off the poem and made it difficult to get into a rhythm. With all the other lines of the poem between nine and eleven syllables each, I'd recommend extending those first few lines by a few syllables to match the structure of the rest of the poem.

The three lines that jumped out at me "weather is up here and there and all around" and "God paints his pictures and leaves quarters" and "Peaceful thoughts hugs and bubbles for you" as I wasn't entirely clear what the intent was behind those lines. They were beautifully written, but I'm not entirely sure what point you were tryign to get across with them, or what the imagery was supposed to convey.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, this was a lovely poem that really captures the essence of the season. Nicely done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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79
79
Review of Gilda's Roses  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024.


*Penw* Positives

This was a delightfully twisted flash fiction story that gets right into the heart of things and leaves the reader with a compelling twist at the end. In only a few hundred words, you did a great job of conveying a complete story, which is not easy to do!


*Penw* Suggestions

There's an instance in the fourth paragraph where Gilda is referred to as "Golda," which I assume is a typo? Similarly, in the sixth paragraph it says that Bradly dropped "four small piles" into one of the glasses, which I assume was meant to be "pills."

While I enjoyed the twist at the end, it's a little unclear why Bradly felt the need to also kill Gilda's brother when he came calling. Earlier in the story it mentions that Gilda and Bradly last argued over ten years ago, so it's a bit curious why Bradly would feel the need to immediately commit another crime when someone comes around inquiring about his long-dead wife (presumably at that point he would have the death certificate and other established bits of story to fend off any initial inquiries). It's also doesn't make sense that he'd be worried about Mrs. Jones seeing him dig up any more of the yard if the last time he did it was ten years ago.


*Penw* Overall

It can be really difficult to tell a comprehensive story in under three hundred words, but I think you did a good job with it. There are a few areas that need to be fleshed out and developed a bit, but other than that, this was a very entertaining read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


Banner for Winter I Write


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80
80
Review of Trapped in a Fog  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello 💙 Carly

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

I love the imagery and the atmosphere in this poem. I've actually never heard of this contest before, but it looks fun and I think your entry was a great take on the prompt. Your language choice and structure were excellent.


*Penw* Suggestions

The only thing that didn't quite work for me in this poem is that, narratively speaking, the first half of the poem seems to be about the narrator moving (with words like "stumbling," "staggering," "wandering," etc.), and then it abruptly shifts to stillness, being trapped in a prison, curling up into a ball, waiting, being bound, etc. The juxtaposition was a little jarring for me personally as I read it.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. Your descriptive details, structure, and take on the prompt were all really engaging. *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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81
81
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hello TheNoMonster

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

This was a beautifully written story. I particularly liked the worldbuilding with the bartender who can create drinks that dredge up memories; it's a great expanded fantastical take on something that people try to do at bars with alcohol (i.e., get lost in their thoughts/memories) in the real world. The story was well-paced and moved along briskly despite covering a fair amount of information, and the amount of detail description in the prose was just enough to create a vibrant picture for the reader without slowing down the pace of the read.


*Penw* Suggestions

I found the lack of proper punctuation around the dialogue a bit hard to follow along with in certain places. It seems that it was a stylistic choice for this piece (it's too consistent to be typos/technical errors) and while breaking the rules can sometimes be effective or even accentuate the piece, in this case I thikn it was a detriment because there were several passages where I had to go back and re-read them, not realizing they were someone's dialogue. Adding in the correct punctuation would help the flow of the read even more, I think.

I was also hoping for a bit more exploration from the narrator. The world you've created with the alcoholic alchemy is so creative and interesting, and yet the srtory only really delves into one memory and has the narrator contemplate a second. I would have loved to have seen this story explore that dynamic in more depth; maybe he does try a memory drink he doesn't like and returns it, or wants another of the same, etc. As it exists right now, the narrator is in a bit of a contradiction where he seems eager to sample different drinks, but then only really focuses on the one. I think having the character go more intentionally toward one side or the other would round out the story a bit more.


*Penw* Overall

Although there were a few areas for improvement (suggested above), I thought this was an excellent piece that was well written, well considered, and leaves the reader with a feeling of nostalgia and even a bit of wistfulness. That's not easy to do with a piece this short, but you sure managed to make it look easy. Nice job! *Bigsmile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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82
82
Review of A Wicked Radiance  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hello Kyle Curcio

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

The pacing of this piece was excellent; you managed to fit a lot of action, dialogue, and detail into a comparatively short flash fiction story. The twist at the end was also unexpected and really entertaining.


*Penw* Suggestions

It's a little unclear how Keck was attacked by a harpy. Earlier in the story it's just mentioned that Keck is "shoved into a dark doorway" but it's unclear whether they're inside, outside, whether the door is open, etc. Because of that confusion, the "pain exploding from his abdomen" and "from above there came the beating of dark wings" felt a little out of place since we don't have a clear sense of geography and where the characters are currently standing.


*Penw* Overall

Other than that minor descriptive issue, I thought this flash fiction story, as a whole, was a very entertaining and well-told story. Nice job!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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83
83
Review of Lasting  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello emrldtrtle

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

I really enjoyed this story. With comparatively few words, you managed to tell a compelling and evocative story with just enough details to keep the reader's attention. I thought the dialogue was used sparingly and to good effect.


*Penw* Suggestions

Some of the dialogue was really impactful, and I think it might be one of those cases where traditional formatting (i.e., dialogue beginning a paragraph or standing alone as a paragraph) might be more effective. I'm all for stylization and breaking the rules when it's effective, but having some of the dialogue as their own paragraphs might help to make those moments more impactful.


*Penw* Overall

I thought this was a well-written item that did a great job of telling a complete story in very few words. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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84
84
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello fyn

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

"The Road Less Traveled" by Robert Frost is one of my all-time favorite poems, so the fact that this piece both alludes to it and mirrors some of its structure was a real delight for me personally.


*Penw* Suggestions

I don't have any specific suggestions for improvement; this piece was a delight to read just as it is.


*Penw* Overall

I thought you did a wonderful job with this poem. It was just the right blend of familiar/reminiscent of Frost's original, with a unique/modern twist of your own. Wonderful job!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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85
85
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hello Davy Kraken

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

I thought this was a fantastic poem. I love the subject matter, and the language was both sophisticated and evocative which matched my expectations for what a poem about black holes would read like. I also absolutely loved the fact that you increased the kerning and stretched out the word "spaghettified" so that the word itself became an embodiment of the concept. That was a really smart way to add some variety and uniqueness to the poem. Well done!


*Penw* Suggestions

I don't have any suggestions for improvement. And based on the fact that this piece apparently won first place (and a trophy!) for the contest in which it was entered, it sounds like I'm not alone in thinking it's great just the way it is! *Bigsmile*


*Penw* Overall

This was an excellent poem about a really interesting topic. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
86
86
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Hello ~LadyBee~

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

This was a sweet story with a lot of good details. I like the fact that the problematic coffee habit was a problem throughout the story, and that it was a lighthearted tale that saw good humor in a situation that could otherwise be quite annoying and scary (i.e., missing a flight because airport security found something concerning in your suitcase).


*Penw* Suggestions

In the opening sentence, I think "again" would be better suited at the end of the sentence to create a more fluid read (i.e., "Rushing through the airport doors, I glance at my watch again."). There's also a typo in the opening paragraph ("I have told myself a million times, and everyone in my family, that I drink [too] much coffee."

My only big suggestion with the story is that it felt like the protagonist's reaction to finding the coffee can in his suitcase. Earlier in the story much is made about how late he was for the flight and how annoyed he was about it, which kind of undermines the idea that he would find anything about this funny if a potential missed flight is in the back of his mind. You might consider making the setup for the story a little less stressful for the character so that he's more open to finding humor in the situation.

The humor he finds in the situation also feels a bit over the top for what it is. This felt like a bit of a delivery problem, where the way he was laughing and had tears streaming down his face and couldn't control himself preceded the explanation, so the reader's expectations are set incredibly high that it's going to be truly hilarious, but then the reader gets the punchline and it's more amusing than laugh-out-loud funny. I'd recommend trying to reconcile those two things, either by downplaying the reaction a bit leading up to the explanation, or by increasing the amount of humor in the payoff.


*Penw* Overall

Overall this was a fun and enjoyable read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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87
87
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello Bikerider

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

This was a delightful story that managed to fit a ton of detail, description, and humor into only a few short words. I like the fact that the story started with Grandma hearing the joke and then devolved from there. It was a really effective choice in such a short piece to start things right off the bat.


*Penw* Suggestions

My only (small) quibbles with the piece are that the reader never really gets a sense of what the joke was that Grandma laugh so much, and at the very end the story finishing with Grandpa's point of view felt like a bit of a deviation from what was otherwise Grandma's narrative for the rest of the story.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a really fun, entertaining flash fiction story that has all of your usual humor and excellent technique. Nicely done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
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88
88
Review of Becoming  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello Erithacus

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

I thought you did a great job of describing some of your experiences of living with autism. There's a lot of good information in here, including that it's not just a different perspective or something like that; it's truly a situation where people with autism have a neurodivergent experience of the world. My wife is a special education teacher and one of the vendors I interact with most for work is professionals on the spectrum, so I definitely relate to the information you're presenting in this piece.


*Penw* Suggestions

One small suggestion I would make is to change the second person point of view ("I do not think the same way as you", "When you walk along the street," etc.). In my experience, written pieces about neurodiverse perspectives are often read as much by people in the community as outside of it; there's a good chance that someone seeking out work like this might be somewhere on the spectrum themselves and the second person POV might be a little off-putting if it makes assumptions about their experience of the world. It might be more inclusive to take an approach where you're detailing the experiences of an "average" person, or the majority of the population, while allowing a bit of room for the reader to connect with you if they have a similar experience of the world.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was an excellent essay and you made your point beautifully. Well done!


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Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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89
89
Review of Orbit One  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello Odin's Path

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

This was a really powerful, engaging story. You did a particularly great job of covering your bases in terms of explaining why John couldn't return home. At every step of the story, I'd start to think, "Well why couldn't he just..." and then the story would have a reason why that solution wouldn't work. Great job staying one step ahead of the reader (or one step ahead of this reader, at least!). *Bigsmile*


*Penw* Suggestions

I honestly have no suggestions for improvement. I really enjoyed this story. I was going to suggest that John taking a moment to admire the Earth and think of his family back home at the opening of the story felt a little out of place considering that he was in the middle of a crisis, but like the other narrative points, you set it up well to resolve that disparity by the end of the story.


*Penw* Overall

This was an excellent story and I really enjoyed the read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


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90
90
Review of A Letter to God  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
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Hello K5Rakitan

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


*Penw* Positives

I liked your take on divinity. I'm of the same opinion that God isn't necessarily embodied by the Western Christian ideal of a grandfatherly white man in white robes, but rather can take any number of forms depending on to whom he's revealing himself. I also like the idea of trying to show that God is embodied in simple, everyday interactions.


*Penw* Suggestions

Some added detail and development of the scene would really help to show what a special moment this is. While the scene is set effectively as it currently exists, it reads a little more like a quick vignette than a deeper story, and I think your initial premise (of God being in the people we love) would be more effectively illustrated with a bit more information about the nature of the relationship between the two individuals in the anecdote.


*Penw* Overall

This was a thought-provoking item that was well-written. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
91
91
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hello a Sunflower in Texas

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.

*Penw* Positives

Wow, the 2004 election... that really takes me back! *Shock2* The first major election I was eligible to vote in was the now-infamous Bush/Gore election in 2000, and I remember having a lot of anxiety going into this 2004 election thanks to all the craziness that happened in 2000.

I really like the background you provided in this piece; your political inclinations and backstory were really clear and helped the reader get a sense of what you intend to bring into the future conversation about the current year's election. I like the fact that you have a blend of both interest and practical experience; that really helps establish you as an informed voice on the subject matter you'll be discussing.


*Penw* Suggestions

I don't have any particular suggestions for improvement with respect to this piece in particular; it was written at a certain point in time and - at that time - it was everything it needed to be. However, given what's transpired in American politics since the 2004 election (which includes quite a lot of firsts!), I would be very interested to read an updated piece that includes, as part of the background, your thoughts and experience since 2004, particularly with the historic nature of both Obama's and Trump's respective elections, and how much the political landscape has changed in the past 20 years. I'd love to know more about how you've grown, changed, and come to think of politics in the intervening years. Again, that's not a criticism of this piece in particular, but more a commentary on how I'd love to see this piece develop if you're ever so inclined to expand upon it. *Bigsmile*


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I think you did a great job with this piece. I loved reading it and getting to know a little bit more about your political views and the way you think about civics in our country. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
92
92
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello JACE - House Targaryen

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024.


*Penw* Positives

After so many "Anniversary Reviews from you, I'm so pleased to be able to return the favor with an "I Write review this week! *Delight*

I thought this was an excellent piece. The Villanelle form is beautiful when done effectively and you did a great job with it. It's not easy to have those repeating, reordered stanzas descending throughout the forum and I thought you handled it well. It was a beautiful version of this elegant form of poetry.


*Penw* Suggestions

The only note I have, which isn't so much a criticism of the piece itself, is that this is listed as a contest entry (and stored in the "Poetic Musings" folder of your portfolio, and it would have been great to know if there was a specific prompt you were responding to, or if it was completely open in terms of subject matter and you just had to do something that matched the required form. I'm a big fan of context to help understand why you chose a particular form/approach (if there was an outside impetus for it). *Smile*


*Penw* Overall

Overall, this was an excellent poem that I really enjoyed reading. Nicely done, my friend!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy



Banner for Winter I Write


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93
93
Review of Sugar  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
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Hello Bianca

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.

*Penw* Positives

This story was imaginative and a great idea based on the lyrics of the Johnny Cash song. I really liked all the worldbuilding that you did in a comparative short piece of just a few hundred words.


*Penw* Suggestions

I would have loved more information on how the world got to this place of rationing sugar, and some more context on the Mayor's plan. As written, it's a little confusing how this world became what it was, why the Mayor had access to so much sugar, and suddenly decided to fight against the rations that everybody hated. It'd be great to know a little more about the backstory and decisions that drive the story.


*Penw* Overall

While I think there's some room for improvement in general, I liked the premise and think there's quite a bit of potential in this story based on the lyrics of a popular song.


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
94
94
for entry "Swapping sex
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Sumojo


I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024.

This is a really interesting blog prompt, and I'll admit I've often wondered what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex. I think you did a great job of pointing out that the "harder or easier" qualifier on the question is mostly a matter of perspective and has less to do with a person's biological sex than their circumstances. Taking the example of parenting and child-rearing you mentioned, even among a population of only women, I suspect that answer would vary wildly depending on whether you were talking about a working single mother of three trying to keep her family above the poverty line, or an extremely wealthy housewife with one child and a full-time nanny or au pair to share responsibilities.

For me, the one criticism I have of this piece is that taking the approach of only answering this question through the lens of traditional gender roles as they relate to child-rearing somewhat limits the potential of the piece and makes it feel fairly dated, as the modern world has greatly expanded its societal expectations of parents. With more women in the workforce, more stay-at-home dads and dual-income households than ever before, co-parenting being a much higher priority for the younger generations, it feels like a bit of a missed opportunity to just explore this question through that particular lens.

I was actually much more interested in the point you made about perceptions of female beauty and scrutiny over appearance, which I think is a much more topical and interesting response to the prompt that's worth exploring further. As it is, it's sort of mentioned at the very end as an add-on and it could have been a really insightful and modern take on the prompt.


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy



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95
95
Review of Guide Me, Lord  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello intuey GoT Survivor!

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.

*Penw* Positives

Wow, what a great story! This is one of the first times I've heard a true story about Jesus taking the wheel! *Shock2* I thought this was a great take on the prompt, and a really insightful perspective on the event. You did a really good job of explaining the thoughts and emotions going through your head both before and after the incident on the road, and how it really did feel like there was a supernatural element to it, based on the recognition that you could not have done it alone.


*Penw* Suggestions

I was a little confused by the part where you mentioned that you thought the older couple which caused the crisis "knew exactly what they were doing" and that "they had planned it". Do you mean to imply that they were attempting to surprise you and get you to crash into them? I think that part of the story needs just a bit more context so the reader can understand what you mean and why you believe that.


*Penw* Overall

This was a really great take on the prompt and an enjoyable story. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
96
96
Review of An Urban Myth  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hello Hatsuda

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.

*Penw* Positives

I really liked the number of pop/culture references in this story. The Indiana Jones archaeology, the Greek mythology, the paranormal investigator... all of these elements really worked well together and created a feeling of a much larger world, due to the reader's familiarity with so many genres, myths, and legends.


*Penw* Suggestions

I thought the Phaedra/Artemis misdirection was a bit confusion and I'm not entirely sure it was a necessary complication for the story. It felt a bit like that story space could have been used to better ends, like developing the characters and their connection a little more.


*Penw* Overall

I enjoyed reading this story. It was fun, imaginative, and has a lot of potential Nice work!

I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
97
97
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
An image donated by  [Link To User legerdemain]  for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Kellie Burke

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.

*Penw* Positives

As far as complications and revealed secrets go, I'm pretty sure this is a worst case scenario, where someone finds out their spouse isn't just interested in a divorce, but is also same-sex attracted, and planning on selling the house to move to a foreign country with their lover (who happens to be their nanny!). *Shock2*


*Penw* Suggestions

While I appreciated the complexity of the relationship dynamics, the story didn't really establish why Dan feels the need to unburden himself suddenly in the middle of the night. I noticed this is a <500 word dialogue-only story that's labeled as a contest entry, so I'm assuming it was written for "The Dialogue 500 or similar contest where the lack of prose description is the point. Even so, it felt like the space that was used to establish the setting (Dan asking Helena if she's awake, and Helena asking why it can't wait until morning) could have been used to set a more realistic stage for the conversation. For example, Helena arriving home and asking why packed bags are near the door, or Helena pointing out that Dan has been quiet and withdrawn lately and then he just can't hold back any longer, etc. It felt like there were a few more dynamic option choices than waking someone up in the middle of the night for a full confession.


*Penw* Overall

All that said, the dialogue moved the story along quickly and efficiently, and there was never a question of what was happening in the story. That's not always easy to do with dialogue-only pieces of writing, and you handled that well. This was an entertaining read. Nice work!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
98
98
Review of Musings...  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello


I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024.

*Penw* Positives

Well, well, well... we meet again in the final moments of Sunday night, and you've submitted an entry for "Hook of the Book, which is going to be a real challenge to write a 1,000-character review for! *Bigsmile*

I did really enjoy this entry, though. I particularly like the fact that you incorporated the image in a way that completely changes the context if you know what the image it. Obviously, the subject of the character's derision (or even the reader) has no idea that she has a knife hidden behind her back unless they also happen to be familiar with the prompt itself. That's a very novel take on the prompt. *ThumbsUpGreen*


*Penw* Suggestions

As an actual first line in a book, for the reason stated above, it doesn't really work as a standalone. Which is fine for the context, because the rules only state that the judges are looking for opening lines that make them want to read the rest of a story inspired by the picture prompt, but I would have loved to have seen an opening line that both accomplished the feat listed under the "Positives" in this review, but also managed to be a fantastic standalone sentence as well. That's really difficult to do, but that's the only thing I can think of that would have really put this hook of the book even higher over the top.


*Penw* Overall

I think you did a great job with this entry. There are times when we all "write to the prompt" a little more than others when it comes to writing contests, and you did that here exceptionally well. If the judges are half as pleased with your take on the prompt as I was, I'm sure you'll do just fine for yourself in the contest. *Smile*


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy



Banner for Winter I Write


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
99
99
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
An image donated by  [Link To User legerdemain]  for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello Barefoot Bob

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.

*Penw* Premise

Pairing the idea of a romantic interlude with a skydiving encounter is a great way to create excitement and a sense of novelty.


*Penw* Story

I found myself wishing that there was a little more dramatic conflict in the story. From the outset Sophie and Beeper seem to find each other incredible attractive, and everyone else seems to encourage their relationship, lending a feeling of inevitability to the events in the story. I think it would have added an element of further excitement and dynamism to have a bit of uncertainty or conflict to the story. Perhaps something like another character competing for one of the protagonists' affections, or Sophie having not just a mild fear of skydiving, but a real reluctance. A moment of conflict would create a bit more tension which would increase the payoff of the story.


*Penw* Characters

Sophie and Beeper were interesting characters that were fun to follow along with. The supporting cast of characters felt a little one-dimensional in terms of all kind of serving the same story purpose, but the fact that a few characters (Beeper, Stick) had nicknames made them a little more endearing.


*Penw* Dialogue

The dialogue kept the story moving along at a good pace, and was well distributed throughout the story.


*Penw* Structure

I think that Beeper telling Sophie that he loved her before jumping out of the plane undercut the moment where he tells her that he loves him at the very end of the story. I'd recommend holding off until the very end so that the moment really pays off.


*Penw* Technical

No technical errors that I could find. Nice job!


*Penw* Overall

Overall, this was a fun story with a great premise. It was an easy, entertaining read.


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
100
100
Review of Yellow Stone  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
An image donated by  [Link To User legerdemain]  for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Hello sindbad

Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews activity.


I really enjoyed the description of Yellowstone National Park and the unique geological features that can be found there. It definitely made me want to visit! I did notice a few small things, including the title and intro description both say "Yellow Stone" as two words rather than one. It also struck me as odd that the opening sentence of the piece mentions the subject of Geography in school, but as a subject that's usually associated with the locations of things in the world. If your class was more oriented toward the study of geological and/or historical/structural elements of a place, it might be worth clarifying that so the reader can more clearly see the connection between the school subject of Geography and the physical geograph of the natural world you're describing. Other than that, though, I thought this was an engaging, quick read!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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