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319 Public Reviews Given
320 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Seems this is a proposition, for publishing maybe? My first impression is that you got too many plot lines going at the same time in too few words. You do not want to give your audience a case of information overload right at the beginning. Focus on just one or two of your strengths and go from there.

I truly enjoyed your breathless style of writing, it kept me on my toes and gave your work a high energy boost.

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John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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77
77
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Such a nice children's poem, I am seeing the whole thing in a small illustrated book with thick pages and a heavy cover. I did wonder if, maybe, your piece might be a bit long to hold a young person's attention. But on a second reading I would leave it be, children are often more patient at times than we give them credit for.

Most important is a clear, obvious, rhyming scheme and this poem accomplishes that nicely.

Well done!


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John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
78
78
Review of To My Bestfriend  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh, the mysteries of the heart, we all seem preordained to hurt the ones we love-- if they do not hurt us first. Of course, they who live life to the fullest always have their hearts broken in a place or two; broken parts come with the territory.

Your words are well chosen and well arranged, I can feel each crunchy point of pain throughout the poem. And... it is agonizing to read! But I had to continue; I wondered if the author is doomed. I hope not.

John

This is an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Springtime Review RAID Review!


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79
79
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hear, hear! Well done indeed. I like all those great words arranged in such a beautiful union. Any month of the year they ring true, it is best that we not forget the small miracles of humanity.

Thank you for highlighting the first letter of each line, I would not have noted their significance otherwise. (I am terrible at puzzles)

John

This is an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Springtime Review RAID Review!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
80
80
Review of Bad Bitey  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
As a professional dog handler, I can tell you the dog world is filled with cute, little, "Bitey" dogs. And the girls are as bad as the boys. I personally know a shetland sheep dog who ate a couch cushion all by himself.

I believe there is a rhythm and meter within the poem that I cannot detect. That being said, I like short poems to have an oblvious rhyme scheme, it makes my ears happy.

John

This is an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Springtime Review RAID Review!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
81
81
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
OK...Ouch! That is a heart-breaking tale, notwithstanding the bitter-sweet ending there is no comfort there.

This is the sweetest poem I have read in a long time. I wouldn't change a thing. Your verse and rhyme are things of beauty, every word just where it should be.

I am going to keep this one. I think I hear the angels singing.

One of my favorites: "Command be still that frantic heart of yours, Brother,
"still it is yours; 'tis that way and no other.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
82
82
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Ouch!; that is a painful piece of drama. There is something very grim in your writing style, lots of innocence, and malice, all at the same time. I expected another, predictable, happy ending, instead your piece lead me down a much more interesting narrative.


Well done John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
83
83
Review of Border Town  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your last paragraph finished the story with a nice comment on the meaning of life and the beginning paragraph set the scene with another comment on the meaning of life, boxed in between is a nice tale of life in the dust.

It is all very well done. A nice piece of poetry with well-chosen words and descriptions. The work just flows along like a river.


I liked it. John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
84
84
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice. Well done! I do detect a meter but I cannot figure it out. And I do like that rhyme scheme. Your description was very good I could see the whole drama unfolding before me.

I also enjoyed your aside at the end, nice tidbits of information.


John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
85
85
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (1.5)
A personal memoir of pain. I always find works like this difficult to review. The work presented here has no beginning or ending, just one long litany of descriptions. all describing the same thing. I never like saying this, but stories of this kind are so numerous and sound so much the same that they have become a bore.

It takes true genius to tell the tale of depression. I could not do it.

John "item:power"


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86
86
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Unfortunately, this story left me flat. The plot seemed to be no more than a nice list of wonderful possibilities, with a short history of nuclear war tacked on to explain the miracles that await us.

I would take another look at your plot and check be sure it has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
87
87
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Unfortunately your story just did not work for me. I could not tell if it wanted to be a satirical opinion piece or satirical science fiction... or both. In any case, to my ear it was all garbled together with the names Trump and Putin randomly scattered throughout.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
88
88
Review of #WritersRepresent  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hmmm... An opinion piece. Hard to review these. From a functional point of view your work gets the job done. Your clarity of purpose was dead on. I always knew exactly what you were talking about, which is a difficult achievement when dealing with the human condition.

I'll throw out one opinion; some people are indeed as happy as they appear and there are some things better left unsaid.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
89
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Review of Booting Up  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
I'm afraid the poem left me somewhat lost. I had to read the second stanza a few times before I got the meaning. I found your first stanza ominous and was keen to find out why I should be aware of being aware, its sounded like a wonderful topic; but I did not find anything like that in the story line.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
90
90
Review of Brother, Sister  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I found the story a touching and sentimental story of the deep bond of love shared between sisters. The plot line was filled with excellent, haunting, descriptions of a world that I could not quite place. As the story wound on I did have some problems, at numerous places in the story line I was completely confused and needed to reread those parts before going on.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
91
91
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very Good! The first few lines pulled me in and the rest of the story held attention. The ending left me wanting to know more, always a good thing. I think you have a great opening to a novel. Your effortless writing style is very appealing. I am not much of a fan of heavy tomes filled with dense prose so I enjoyed your light touch.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
92
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Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
This poem left me unmoved. I could not find anything to hook my claws into. For a poem with this subject matter to work, it needs to reach the reader at a deep place. It needs something more, some humor perhaps or something profound or something profane.

...or you could set it to a meter, that always makes everything better.

John"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
93
93
Review of Rudolph  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Well done! You had me from the first two verses. It reads like a waterfall, fast paced and no slowing down.
Verse, meter, and rhyme are very good. The pain that lies at the core of the piece is well described, you can feel it's malicious and the damage it works on your main character.

Stand up and take a bow.

John"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
94
94
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
This piece suffers from too much too soon. Plowing through all the names was like reading a dense textbook and not a work of entertainment. Better to concentrate on no more than three or four characters and one location at a time. The focus must on one story element so that you can bring it to life and grab the readers interest. The reader must be hooked fast before their mind wanders onto the next thing. I would begin the thing with the death of father as that is when things get interesting.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
95
95
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
My favorite verses:

"He has come
A greater distance"

"The holy man
Well dressed
Well blessed"

Your poem grabbed me with the first stanza and you kept me hooked right to the end. I found the piece well crafted and polished. I did not detect any meter or rhyme scheme; I do like to find a bit of both when I read a poem, but the piece does work without them.

I got bogged down in the area between these verses:

"Such a pompous idea
A variable with no legs"

and

"I would still be a wolf"

That part of your poem doesn't seem to go anywhere or add to the plot and I found your intended meaning eluded me in that section. On a second reading I would edit out those stanzas.

John "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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96
96
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
You lost me by the end of the second sentence. A noble death and a hero's' lament are the stuff of dull stories; unless the writer produces a remarkable main character to hang those plot elements on.
The main character here remains uninteresting from the start. She seems more of an idea than a human being.

A historical main character can be a great start to a good story, but the author must provide something you can smell, taste, and touch to bring the story alive.

John. "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
97
97
Review of AIM WITH CARE  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A small, unexpected, wonderful poem addressing the discontentment of this age. The zeitgeist of gangrenous necrosis. We shun solutions to the crude maladies of the small that will poison the whole if left unattended.

In this time populated by only the big and glamorous, this work returns me to those things which really matter. I am reminded we need the oxygen of new ideas to solve our old dissatisfactions .

Nice meter and rhyme lead to a easy read.

John

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
98
98
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked it! Your rhyme and verse required more than one read to sink in. I believe I detect a meter hidden in your verse. It appears to be a simple little poem yet becomes complex when read.

"Scotland has the thistle..." is my favorite stanza. Do I hear a certain fondness for all things Scotland?

I enjoyed reviewing you work. John

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
99
99
Review of Siren song  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Excellent! What a nice piece of prose and poetry. You had me hooked with the first stanza. I almost forgot that this was one of those stories with a horrible, frightening ending. Did I say it was "chilling"? I am sure the main character who speaks only in poetry has been done before but not that I remember so it sounded fresh and surprising to my ear. The verse and rhyme were wonderful.

John. More like this, please.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
100
100
Review of A Shaman's Faith  
Review by Jonn
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Shamrock* Welcome to Power Reviewers March Mayhem Review Raid *Shamrock*


I needed more from your main character to make a connection that would compel me to keep reading.
This line:
"I had to do it not just for his sake but mine, I needed my faith back."
was the only hook the main character gave me to hang my interest on and it was not enough. The action with the spider did appeal to me. That scene deserved more detail and could have been used to tell your character's story.
As a completed short story the last line did not give me resolution or even an ending. Your story has a beginning and a middle, it needs that ending that resolves some plot element. Did he get his faith back, I do not know.
John

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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