A sad but good poem. It seems written with some degree of passion and I thought the end indicated you do have a special quiet place inside where you find peace. I think tears can be good. The wash your eyes out and you can see everything better. I find that writing helps me get into a special place, perhaps it can do the same for you. Write on..
Your short story could be a metaphor. I liked the title and isn't there always a little attraction to danger? Ok perhaps sometimes a lot. Your piece mixed attraction and fear well. Of course in real life we can not wake free of the situation. Now that you are awake, no one is there will the beating of your heart send you on, seeking the beast? write on
Bitter sweet goodbyes? I think it is really good when people can part as friends. Often our paths have to part through no fault of either party. I had some friends that even had a friendly divorce. Your poem was a little sad but then parting often is. Your poem expressed it well, write on
I think this is a very nice poem and no doubt expresses the feelings of many wives left at home. I don't think there is any way to know how that feels until it happens. I went to Korea at 17. There was nothing I could have done that would have prepared me for that. You wrote a good poem, writ on
A nice piece expressing the inappropriate use of hard power. I think you are right to be concerned about how power is used. We see evidence all around us of what happens when power is misused and how it can frighten innocent people. Once people become frightened then that can be used to augment the power of the terrorist. Write on
That was a nice piece. I think the bullying thing runs in families, like father, like son. I think your article points out a common concern for many parents. I thought you title was well chosen and reflected the story content. The flow was smooth and rapid and I especially liked the ending.
I think this is a really good piece. Would that more parents would stop and think about the messages they send to their children. Would that we as adults would stop and think about the messages we send to one another. Many people are beaten down by harsh language from those they depend on for support. Churchmen frequently revile those who have fallen short rather than showing them a better way and giving them a kind word to help them get there. It is good to read an uplifting article, write on...
I think this is an interesting piece. I think a lot of people feel trapped. Trapped in their marriages and trapped in their jobs. 50 ways to leave your lover? How about just cut some slack. Some people need more space than others but every body needs a little space. Sounds like you didn't have much. I think many can identify. Write on
I liked your piece and hope you will continue to write. I have always believed in the separation of church and hate. My mate says see God in others. I think it is very important to look at what we do to and for our fellow man. "By their fruits ye shall know them." A little kindness has a big effect. Write on
I was spellbound. The story reminded me of Twilight Zone. I somehow expected Eugene would take the old man's place. The title fits. The flow is smooth and just slow enough to maintain the tension of expectation. I kept wondering what is this really all about and remembering people almost like that in real life. In humble spirit of support I offer the following observation. The end of this sentence seems awkward to me. "He was a nobody, a loner; he didn’t want anything to do with anybody so everybody didn’t want anything to do with him" It seems something like....so no one wanted to have anything to do with him." would make it flow better. Sorry I can't offer more but sometimes it is difficult to find flaws in a well written piece.
Your story is tragic but well written and I liked it. I have known many demented people in my life both comic and tragic. I sometimes think it is the world that is crazy and these are the ones that are well. Then something happens and a character previously thought to be just another of the demented ones kills 27 people and we realize they can be a danger to others as well as themselves. This was a powerful piece, write on...
This poem conjured many images in my head. I thought of all sorts of eggs, internal as well as external. Sounds like you are a world traveler with lots of stories to tell.Welcome to the writing community and please bring your stories with you. I think you have great potential. Write on
Tragedy does sometimes happen in an instant. There is no going back. You describe the feelings well and I am sure there are many who can identify. Most people have had loss at one time or other so you probably have a big audience. I think you have some good stuff. Write on
I liked your poem and it was a bit painful. How to love and still keep your soul. Does he love or use you? Does he use you as a light or a toy? Big guys with little boys inside can be really selfish. Cast not your pearls as the saying goes. You probably have secret admirers you don't even know about. Write on
I thought this was a good poem. You have some deep stuff going there. For me translation is flow. Like now only lasts second to second. We can never bathe in the same river twice. What has this meaning for you today may have a different meaning tomorrow. So between you and me there is always a difference, but then maybe that is the beauty of it. You got good stuff, write on
I like your poem and I think you are right on. Of course there is the other side of the coin. I do not believe ignorance is bliss unless we could be so ignorant we didn't know we hurt. Was it Socrates who said "who hath wisdom hath much pain"? As for me I'll take the pain of knowing. Oh if you wrote this asleep I would like to read what you might write when awake.
I liked your poem. The title suggests a ancient path taken by ethnobotnists and shamans. Never been there myself, just have lots of friends that have. Welcome to the WDC.community. I think you have some good stuff and I am sure you can develop your writing art here. You can choose what you like and leave the rest. Write on....
I have never thought of drips being an inspiration to write but I guess your poem proves it. I thought this was an interesting piece and wondered if you ever been in jail. I don't know if it is the drips or the silence in between that drives me furthest up the wall but there is really something powerful that gets our attention. Write on...
This seems like a really free flight of ideas, with lots of motion. One of the beautiful things about writing is you can just lt go and do what you want. You can put castles in the air and build foundations later. Sometimes you can even take your friends alone. I think you can find a lot to share with others on WDC. Write on
I think you have written a good support piece and a nice gift for a friend. Like you said the sun will shine again. If you just hang in there things will eventually get better, sometimes a lot better. I will read more of your poems as time goes by. Hang in there and write on....
I liked this piece because it expressed a deep friendship that went far beyond childhood. I never had a childhood friend like that but I used to think about how it would be. Sweet memories, perhaps soon to become reality again on another level. I think you have something going here, write on....
I liked your bio and your poem. A little on the dark side but then perhaps that is what death is all about. I'm old so I have seen lots of people die. I liked your variation on the theme and I think you could turn it into a short story if you wanted. If you had a conversation with death what would you talk about?
Lots of colorful imagery. Overall it seemed a little dark but with lots of strength and passion. Good comparisons but just a tad vague. I would like to know more. Your descriptions are very earthy but I have a feeling that underneath social and psychological issues are the real drivers. Good start, write on.
A dark and desperate short story or perhaps a chapter in a book. A title would help and I would like to know more about what happened before, a prologue if you will. I would like to know why they were pursued. It sounded like she was hung in the end. Why ? you gave me a lot to think about... Write on.
What I really need is a prologue. I get part of the association with the title but I need something by way of introduction to understand how he got into the relationship with the humans in the first place. I think with a little addition on each end you will have a well rounded piece. write on.
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