I liked your article. I can relate to it on several levels. Long ago I worked on a Mexican rail gang. I have also worked with Blacks, Chinese, and Native Americans. Today racism is the buzz word, like the word unbelievable it is usually used inappropriately. My best defense was to ask people what they wanted to be called and then call them that. When accused of racism or disrespect I would just say well he ask me to call him by his first name or they said they wanted to be called Black. I tried to make my complaints clear. I don't like people to yell at me, I don't like loud music and I don't like to be called hey you or mofo and I don't care what color you are. I don't care about your accent. I have an accent too. Racist is used when people don't want to confront the real issue which is usually obnoxious behavior. Write on
I think for a flash story you have done well. As a suggestion for improvement consider the re-frame of death as healing. I have seen lots of people die and the ones left behind seem to grieve less if they can view the death as a healing. God can heal anything but some of us have to go to him to receive the healing. Write on.
I am not familiar with WordPad but my computer has an option to enter new words into it's dictionary and from then on it will accept that spelling. I would guess your machine is only trying to do obey your commands. Give the machine the commands it needs and it will obey. Write on
Your title fits the story. The flow is smooth and I think captures the turmoil of an early part of life. I was impressed by the description of the connection made by the touch of calloused fingertips. The hours of effort it took was evidently understood by the young man trying to figure out what to do with a relationship at a time when his own world was spinning. The recollection of the song at the end really tied the piece up for closure. A job well done, Write on.
I think the poll is badly structured. Obama's so called health plan is mostly about regulation of the insurance industry that currently runs health care. We get what insurance companies say we can have an a little regulation will only limit some of the worst abuses.
Your opening line presupposes that you are going to tell someone so the last choice is out and only one person can keep a secret. It seems from your line of questioning. I think your real question is what will coming out achieve and how can you achieve it with minimal damage. Part of that will depend on your need to come out. It was not so many years ago that coming out could be a matter of life and death and in certain situations it can still be. Proceed with caution.
I have used slow cooking for 60 years. I have used electrical energy for slow cooking since the 50's. I can't count the crock pots I have owned but keep in mind crock pots are a relatively new invention. Slow cooking is by no means the only way to prepare food. Drying, pickling, salting, and freezing have all been used for hundreds of years.
Receiving gift points is encouraging. Sometimes I give them back and sometimes I send a note of appreciation. In my reviews I usually understand what the givers intent is and when I send gift points I usually say why I thought the reading was special to me.
I think I am in a sort of transition right now. There is the world of technical writing and I can appreciate the perfectionists art but at the same time a certain amount of error proves the writing is done by a human. For me the giving and receiving of reviews and ratings is more about communication on a mundane level than the heights of literary skill. I hope I may be a better reviewer than a writer.
I find that sometimes I am simply not able to relate to an item in a positive way. I like to be very careful that when I am critical, my criticism can be understood to be constructive. The failure to grade all items is my problem not the problem of the writer.
That was a really great little story! It is so true. We never really know who sees us day in and day out, the person we never know about. I have had some of those moments. I don't know how your piece could be improved. That is why I gave it a 5. It had a powerful impact on me and I think may make others happy too. Write on.
An interesting piece. I really got into the story, so much so that when the police officer said "it's about your son." I was surprised. From the beginning I thought the body was that of a girl. My mental imagery had to be completely restructured. I think the references to Barbie doll houses and lives must have set a female image. The impression was so complete I was stunned when I discovered the story was about a son, not a daughter. The poem your mother liked referred to a daughter. I completely missed the clue in the opening poem by Atwood that the writer was male. Anyway it was a good story with a unique perspective. Write on
Wow! what a sad sweet love story. When I first began to read I though OK, this is another post teen age cheerleader blown away by a uniform and the tall dark and hansom worrier. I couldn't have been more wrong. I think you have written a beautiful story with a powerful impact. The deeper meaning of life and love brought up is real food for thought but more importantly spiritual nourishment. There was a time in my life when I was resigned to death in battle. It didn't happen but when I came out of the experience I had a new concept of life. I am blessed to have loved briefly but deeply and I can appreciate that bitter sweet feeling that comes with the memories.
I rate your story at 4.5 because of it's power. There are a couple of typos that you can fix but that is trivial.
From the fifth paragraph: When we asked how he knew it so well, he explained that his son who worked her, and didn't explain much more about it. I think her was meant to be here?
A little further down, He laughed and said it was no big deal, that he knew they weren't for him anyone. I think that was meant to be anyway?
I thought that was an especially interesting piece. The title fit well and the flow was smooth. The identity issue built up a lot of suspense. I suppose Frick gradually realized who he was after meeting Freisha and the pipe smoking was a unique ending. For me the story had at least two levels the primary on an interesting character sketch with a quick twist ending. On another level a serious philosophical search for identity that went unanswered. Write on
"Fear" was a sad poem. I think it was a powerful poem. I would describe it as short stark and compelling. Being old doesn't have to be cold and lonely. I am old and I like it. I know a few people who are cold and lonely but many are fiery and outgoing. I hope you will find your fire. The blessings of life are more than you can count even when you are old. I wish you well. Write on.
A very nice poem. I know little of the technical aspects of poetry but I can relate to it's content. I liked the peaceful imagery you presented and imagined myself in the dark with the bird. The description of sound had a greater effect than what I imagined he looked like. I think you are already back up to speed. Write on
I liked your rhyme and what seemed tome to be the supportive tone of your poem. Such a poem should have a title though. It made me think of ( Broken Wings ) written by Khalil Glbran. Poetry is difficult for me so I read little and write even less but I think you are off to a good start. Write on
I thought this was an interesting piece, though having no experience in numerology or sailing it was difficult to understand. I liked the rapid flow and some of the very exciting imagery. I think you could make a very nice short story out of the miracle landing through breaking seas. Your statement in the first paragraph that a federal court ruled that the idea of intelligent design may not be taught in public schools does not mean we were not created by intelligent design. Many things that are true are not taught in public schools. I liked your last paragraph best. I think we do create our world view from what we observe. Write on
I commend you courage to write in the religious category. I hope your plea is taking in the spirit I think it is intended. I did not rate you piece as a 5 because I believe the often quoted "He that is not with me is against me;" drives some people away and I don't think that is what most Christians want. What do you think Jesus meant in Mark 9:40 and Luke 9:50 ? Again I like your piece and believe you want the best, please help those who are not as strong as you.
I liked your poem and I think we all have preferences. For me your poem speaks of the social exoskeleton most of us use to facilitate social interaction. The middle reminds me of the disillusionment that comes with rejection and the last part indicates the inner strength of character you possess. Seldom do we find a soul mate and most acquaintances are rather superficial. I liked the last part best though because to me it says you are OK. It may be tough but you will go on.
I think you bring up a good point. I commend you for having the courage to write about spiritual ideas. I think God speaks to different people in different ways and moves them to work in different ways to live a proper life. Taking time out to seek God is often done in prayer or special service but I think many people attend to God in ways the rest of us may not see. Write on.
I really liked your essay and I believe the things you said are true. I give your piece a high rating on its content. Just a few typos but that stuff is so overwhelmed by the value of what you had to say I am almost embarrassed to mention it. The ethic of reciprocity is the best most commonly accepted standard of friendship in the world yet sadly some Christians who embrace it most argue most vehemently against it and many Muslims don't accept it at all. Elitism prevails and wars sustain the privileged class. Oh! that people would think first as you suggest but alas we are animals with the passions of beasts. When the passion is aroused the thinking stops. Writing like yours may not convince anyone but your validation of what seems to me to be a central core of truth is refreshing. Write on
You made me guess and I thought you were skiing. I thought you had just gone off a jump and stopped to rest. When I understood you were on a sled I though of the loge. I really didn't get it until the end. I did get the feel of excitement. For me it was a parachute jump on a cold day. The free fall is exhilarating Write on.
I like your title, and what I understand to be the snap in stanza 4 through 6. I like your description of the arousal from despair to triumph. I have seen this happen when people bottom out. The ending surprised me and I could have thought defeat but I choose to think she moved on beyond. All in all a good poem, write on.
Seems to me I just read a belief rant rather than a religious one. Unless they are in a state of confusion everyone believes in something. I think many beliefs work well if they are congruent with behavior. I think the more you wright the clearer your beliefs will become. Write on
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