First off let me say thank you for allowing me to review your work here on WDC.
I really got a kick out of this one! Just when I had an idea of where it (the story) was going, well turns out I hadn't a clue!! LOL.
Very well done, friend, I congratule you sincerely!
There were a couple of spots that I thought the wording was a bit off (in my opinion) but the story itself more than makes up for anything I noticed.
You are well versed in emotional pain, one of life's lessons we share in common. Everyone's pain is unique but similarities do sometimes materialize when identical words are written. You suffered more than you deserved and continue carrying a burden that, sad to say in reality, will never go away entirely.
You must look at the experience for what it was and try not to dwell only in hind sight. Easier said no doubt, but realize that your future has in a way been brightened by this shadow from your past. No one can hold a candle to your wisdom now, and love's darker paths will no longer be obscured so easily.
Congratulations for holding true to yourself and for never letting the flame die.
You have a talent for literary expression and I encourage you to continue creating.
Absolutely remarkable!
Hello and thank you for allowing me to review this. I could have sworn that
I was reading an article straight out of Scientific American or some other
journal formulated and circulated from MIT or even some tome found
within the Vatican archives.
You have a unique manner to which you chose to point this 'argument'
and I personally think that whether right or wrong, true or false, your composition comes across as well versed, intelligent, and was easy
to read (overall).
I shall refrain from offering up my personal belief(s) in the subject matter
however I can say that the both of you were (are) correct in my opinion.
That is the whole nature of the debate, right?
The point that no one can know is all that matters (in my opinion)
It's the journey to discovery that provides the proper 'evidence' one needs.
I found absolutely no errors within this piece, and I take my hat off to you.
Thank you again.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Very nice. Thank you for sharing this one as well. It shows strength and character with every sentence. Being able to remain friends under such strained circumstances is something special in of itself.
I congratulate you on being able to do so.
As far as the 'review' portion goes... the errors are easily overlooked by the subject matter, there were a few (hence the 4.5 and not 5.0) but good work nonetheless!!
Now that is what I am talking about!!
Right on! Now here is another example of what poetry and writing is all about. This one was written well and the emotional feelings come out spectacularly!!
Hat's off to you!
Although I am sympathetic to your pain (believe me I know more about this type of ache than one deserves to) but realize the gift such termoil and treatment gave to you- the gift to create works like this.
Before you know it - you'll be a published author!!
Hello and thank you for allowing me to review your post. Although the full comprehension of the poignant moment depicted in this compostion was easily recognized, and the manner in which you wrote appeared to not have any errors, I must admit that I was rather disappointed when what I thought was going to be something interesting (to me) went somewhere entirely different.
Perhaps though that was the intention all along. For that I offer kudos, and I commend you on the overall successful relaying of your moment, but to be honest, it left me with a bad feeling.
Have a good one regardless. Thanks again for sharing and keep on writing!
First off let me convey my condolences to you for your loss. Let me also congratulate you on becoming the type of person who has enough respect to formulate such a literary item, but to have the drive to publish such private thoughts, well you do your mother proud let me just say that..
I take my hat off to you and wish you all the best there is.
Okay... lol.
Rather a nice little poem here.
Funny, and straight to the point.
To be honest though I believe that you should seriously think about possibly expanding it.
just for the heck of it I mean
It has that sly, tongue in cheek quality that I personally like.
Very good..
Nicely done there if I may say!
Hello and welcome to WDC! I was reading your piece here and I can say that I honestly liked it. You conveyed your thoughts and described your emotional state very well. I cannot see anything off hand that was in error so to you I say "congrats!"
Hello and thank you for sharing this with all of us here on WDC. This was a nice little piece you wrote about how you feel towards your grandchild. It is comforting and sweet the way your sincerity comes across through your words. Very well written. I did not see anything that was either incorrectly spelled or written.
Keep on writing and welcome to WDC!!!
Thank you for sharing with us here at WDC. Your writing has some good points in it but there are several misspellings. I am not sure if your intention was such but just be forewarned that there will inevitably be several people pointing out these issues and if you want to succeed here I recommend that you try to check your work before posting it.
Hello and welcome to WDC. Thank you for letting me read and review your composition.
Overall I can say that you appear to have a talent for writing and story telling. That is one of the reasons why the rating was as high as it is.
The only thing that I can find that I'd change with this (in my opinion) would be to ease up on the descriptive words. Too much can be a drawback. It almost appears like you were forcing this story out. You will do fine here regardless though. Once again, whatever I said is only my lowly opinion, so ...
Very interesting and written very well friend!
Thank you for sharing this with all of us here on WDC!
This was easy to read and for that I congratulate you.
Keep up the good work and I hope to read more from you soon!
Very interesting and well written. I suppose though that there will be others who will comment on your use of commas, or some other grammatical issue will be brought up, but I completely sympathize and understand your work's meaning and why it is written as it is. At least I like to believe that I do. Seems something in common we share...
You have a genuine talent for writing it seems.
Keep going and I look forward to reading more of your works!
Wow. I cannot put down into words how I felt after reading this piece.
I suppose first thing I should do is thank you for writing this.
You captured tragedy and related it beautifully. My ownly hope is that other people can understand the true deepness and meaning of what you have written. I take my hat off to you. Keep writing!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"I'm Sorry"
It is nice to see that there are people out in the world who see things in a positive light (overall I mean) and can still hang onto some form of hope- in anything or anyone.
There are so many reasons why folk out here become jaded and morose though. Far more negative reasons to throw in the towel pop up daily it seems.
I congratulate you on your ability to see your way through and for your ease at getting a 'nice' thought across.
Very good imagery conveyed here. You are one that has seen both sides of that wonderful 'gift' that is called love. For that I sympathize and offer my condolences. Isn't it terrific the clarity that comes afterwards....when the lenses have been removed.... no longer clouded judgements.....
I chose terrific because it applies to 'both' sides of the situation. Either way when you think about it the very definition of 'loneliness' comes about.
In my opinion that is...
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Nice thought. That whole 'I will never let that happen again' thing I mean. Good luck on that. Personally, those words have been said so many times.
Only to find that in the 'end' we do the same things wrong as we did before.
The difference being the length of time discovering that fact.
You are a talented writer and I believe that you will go far here on WDC.
Keep going strong!
"Loneliness Is Not A Phase"
Overall I found this very interesting. Your take on yourself, the analysis of your inner being, and the way that you brought this to 'paper'.... very good.
I commend you on this.
Be careful though on the punctuation though. There were a few errors (in my opinion) found in this.
Otherwise keep up the good work!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
As I suspected, you have talent!
You spent considerable time it seems in finding and defining yourself. I applaud you on that. The fact that you can see as well as know exactly who and what you are as a being impressed me. I congratulate you on your efforts.
I noticed no major errors in this composition.
Overall I liked what you did here. The rhyming at times though seemed a little on the 'forced' side, but hey it works. To say that you have a talent for expression would be an understatement. Keep up the good work. I intend to read more of what you have to offer.
Well you seem to have a good grip on reality I will give you that much. However, your composition, more of a thought really, seems to lack an ending worthy of its overall theme. Perhaps you can take some time to expand this. I think then you might be able to write something more profound.
Keep going though.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
A textbook example of pain and suffering.
Although there comes a time when you should do so no longer and set the resentment free for all to see and acknowledge. I wish you the best of luck because this sounds a little too personal to merely be some work of fiction.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lostaschmoo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 6:12am on May 20, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
