Such a dour look at life and the world will no doubt bring you heaps of uplifting reviews. This is a place that likes to comfort those it sees or perceives as
downtrodden or negative in nature. I on the otherhand totally see your point of view in this piece and commend you on pointing out what otherwise gets sugarcoated all too often.
Interesting though this may indeed be, I found only one item that is not correct:
Nothing with held should be one word
I almost decided not to read this- for when the description has misspellings....
I did not really understand this. I think it was about love.
What does smitter mean anyway?
I am happy to see that you like to write don't get me wrong.
Just next time spell check it.
Would be more professional looking and you'll be taken more seriously.
I laughed so hard at this that I nearly threw up!
I have known people like BOB and man you nailed the personality aspect down.
You gave me a laugh and a moment of reflection after I read this. For both I thank you for!
You are an excellent writer and you are going to go far in this site.
ROTFLMAO!
This is a powerful piece written with a lot of passion and sadness.
A broken heart is one of (if not THE) worst things attached to the gift of LOVE.
It never heals. Time isn't a miracle cure. I know this all to well.
Very good my friend. I think you've got the knack!
I liked this mainly because it taught me something that honestly I had no idea
about. Anytime I can learn something new or interesting is time well invested.
Congrats on this and look forward to reading more from you soon!!
This is a good poem.
Well written without mistakes.
I absolutely agree with you when you state that there is no reason at all to hurt a child, either physically or emotionally. People sometimes forget that emotional abuse is as painful and scarring as any beating could ever be.
Thank you for posting this and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Why exactly does waiting make us more than meets the eye?
I'd be interested in hearing some definition of this.
I did not see any grammar or puctuation errors in this.
I really did not get the point of this poem but it is written rather well....
This is definitely and ode to cleaning I'd say.
There is something to be said about clean living I'd agree on that wholeheartedly. The only thing is there is a fine line between what one considers fastidious cleanliness and obsessive compulsive-ness.(?)
That's where my mother wound up. She had a reputation of having a floor clean enough to 'eat off of'.
But then towards the end of her life she'd spend so much time worrying about every little thing and whether it was in its correct place, etc...
Be careful not to let a good character trait turn into something else.
Interesting take on this. I thought initially it was going to be about something else entirely...hehe.
But as far as writing attempts go I would have to say that this was a good one.
Overall the idea is conveyed to the reader fairly well. You have an ability to write but I think that perhaps in the future you might want to put a little more to the page.
Meaning it was a bit short. I guess that means I wanted to keep reading-
so there you go. You're a writer alright!
Only two items that are incorrectly spelled:
ofttimes, and signifigence
This was a good poem overall I'd say. The only real thing that I can find that might be needing attention paid to is the rhyming scheme. It doesn't flow as good as it could, but you are no doubt on the right track.
Be carefull using big words like 'obliviousness' in sentences intended to rhyme on 'key' .
Keep on writing!
Very nicely done. Your love shines throughout the entire poem.
You are truly a person in love!
The only thing that appears to need attention paid to is the alignment shifted on us. Was that intentional?
Oh, and the color scheme is nice but a little hard to read.
For me at least.
I really liked this piece you wrote. Almost like and ode to Katrina or something.
Yet it wasn't really. You used very creative descriptive words throughout the composition. I like that. It made sense overall and brought images clearly across to me as I read it.
You seem to have a real deep manner about you.
You talk of things that (to be honest with you)
are apparently beyond my scope or comprehensional ability.
I applaud you on your efforts though.
The placement of the punctuation marks and the use of caps on certain words
was intentional. A style unknown to me but since it is obvious that you wanted to write this way, I cannot call it 'incorrect.'
You must be a great mom.
Nothing would have given me more pleasure and happiness that to have a parent take the time to compose something like this for me!
Children are so precious and if I had any you had better believe that I'd be writing about them any chance I could!
I liked this poem and I commend you on your composition.
I found nothing that needs corrected in this.
This was a nice little poem. It is not too short and leaves the reader with an uplifting message at the end. It is sad indeed how the world turns a blind eye and a deaf ear to the atrocities that occur all around us on a daily basis.
If mankind would only dig its head out of the sand. Perhaps then we'd be able to see the path to salvation laid before us by the Almighty. That there is no problem that cannot be rectified as long as we realize the need for a solution first.
My hat's off to you my friend for this poignant ode to a lost friend. It broke my heart reading this. I did not want to initially I will admit, for the title lends the reader no misgivings as to what the work is about and where it was going to lead. I am an animal lover myself, both cats and dogs alike. I lost a companion of mine not too long ago so I feel your sorrow. Although I know each person's pain is unique, but in spirit we share similarities.
God be with you and rest assure that your friend is in a much better place.
Pretty good poem here. The writing seems to be okay. Not too many errors that I can find (except the punctuation marks (some) are missing. No biggy though.
Overall I liked this piece.
It reeks of sadness but it has a glimmer of hope as well to it at the end.
what a well written poem.
your devotion and love comes across easily in every word.
To have someone come in who can be that foundation stone that a shattered life can rebuild upon is indeed most fortunate, and I congratulate you on finding that, as well as writing such a fine piece.
My Favorite Line: Your laugh pierces joy, and lingers like liquid breath surrounding a fresh kill
Overall I found this to be an interesting expression of yourself.
It shows an inquisitive nature, a knowledge of oneself, and an ability to create powerful works of literature.
Absolutely one of the best pieces of literary work I have ever had the pleasure to read. I commend you on your accomplishments. I say accomplishment(s) because the first one I praise is the warewithall to survive physically as well as mentally, and for your abiliy to write such a powerful and emotional piece such as this.
I take my hat off to you.
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You've definitely reached the event horion here.
Uh, huh. Yup. D'ats da truth...()
Anyways, don't know what you were shooting for apart from being out there.
I liked it don't misinterpret this.
BUT if I were to have done something of this nature...
it would have included at least three references to one hand clapping, dry ice or at minimum, Pogo the three armed monkey.
But. That's just me.
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You know, really wouldn't surprise me if this isn't how it really is.
New definition of GONE HOLLYWOOD.
I thouroughly enjoyed your post here. It is creative with a slice of
'jab- right between the eyes'- type of deal.
Hmm, that made no sense. Oh well....
Honestly I liked this piece. Intelligently done.
Caught my attention by its title and kept me interested all the way thru it.
Very, Very Good!
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In answer to the derisive question asked by a white man, "Where are your lands now?"
With his left hand pointing Crazy Horse replied, "My lands are where my dead lie buried."
I liked this story overall and I think that you are a talented writer. Gifted with an ability to create the scene and bring the reader into your world. Congratulations on this fine bit of tale.
There were some errors though. I'm willing to give my two and a half cents worth if you're interested in finding out what exactly those are. No doubt you have already had your share of critiques so I'll spare you that. Again though I will point out if you really want..
The point is despite those minor things.... You have a gift. Use it please and bring more worlds to eager minds like mine. OK?
Congrats on capturing my attention and keeping it.
Okay, I'll admit it (kicking and screaming mind you,..) I liked this.
You've a knack for doing the impossible it seems....making me like a 'romantic' post. That's a rare and phenomenal accomplishment if I don't say so myself.
Ok for the review...ahh
I think I just gave it.
Very good!
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