This is a beautiful poem, but I don't understand your description, where it says something about your infertility... which seems to have nothing to do with this poem. Also, you can always have children... whether medically possible or not... there are millions of children out there just waiting to be adopted.
You incorrectly used a semicolon at the end of the first line. Also, it's awkward that you use one space between each stanza, but there is one stanza where you use two, for no apparent reason.
This piece is very creative and well written. Brava. My only suggestion is that instead of using *s to separate the first section from the rest of the piece, that you use writingML emoticons instead.
This is an awesome poem. I especially love the way each line is a different color. From now on, when I look in the mirror, I will definitely be proud of who I am.
I would like to suggest you change the title to "Dear Girls," or "For All Girls"
This is such a great piece. It really gives some great guidelines for public reviewing. I just wish that either Mr. or Mrs. StoryMaster would create a way for us to edit our public reviews once they've been posted, or a way for us to preview our reviews before we send them, because often, if I was able to preview it, I would notice if I made a mistake in the writingML or spelling, as you mentioned that we should make public reviews have little to no errors. In one instance, I pointed out that an author misspelt something, and I accidently misspelt it in the correction, because I was typing so fast!
This journal lacks a hook in its description... something to make us want to read all 300-some-odd entries of your life. You may want to spice up the description... make it a bit longer... make it more visually appealling by adding writingML... just something to draw us in.
I really enjoy the way you draw the reader in with the description of this story. My only technical advice is that it's spelt "Aye" -not- "Ai" ... as a sailor I have to know these things.
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This folder is a home for some beautiful poetry, so stop being down on yourself... it's great. Also... folders are the doors we pass through to access your work. If the folder's description doesn't have a 'hook' to entice us to read your work, chances are, we won't. So... my advice is to SPICE UP YOUR LIFE, and YOUR FOLDER DESCRIPTIONS
This is a beautifully written piece. I would recommend that everyone read it.
It is a bit long, but it's well worth it.
This piece is the story of a man who approaches his wife and asks her if he may take another wife. This piece is written from the first wife's perspective. It speaks of inner pain and jealousy, and the struggle to heal. It truly is a great read.
This is such a funny poll... SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, but of course! I am a HUGE addict of the SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS SHOW, as is the rest of my family, and I really laughed at your listed possible answers to this poll!
I have just been diagnosed with bipolar type 2, and I would like to tell you that this piece was extremely helpful to me, and I plan on putting a link to it in my journal in my port where I discuss my mental illness.
I, too, suffered for years without a proper diagnosis, and with psychiatrists who had no practical knowledge, only book knowledge. I feel immensely lucky to have found a doctor who has practical knowledge, good bedside manner, and takes my insurance! I also am affected by the change in seasons, and have been for years. So... you're not alone!
Technical Advice to afraid to let come out.to should be replaced with too.
You did not set your bio block yet. When people visit your portfolio, it's the first thing that they see, and you should put something there (something is better than nothing). It's a personal introduction to who you are. You can set it by going to the "My Account" section.
I was very confused about what a "STOROEM" was, and then, after I read this piece, I realized it was a Story/Poem. Nicely Done.
Happy 60th Birthday... I guess it's strange... through a computer it's hard to tell how old people are... and unless they say... you really have no idea.
Prose to introduce your prose... WritingML stars and color adds to effect. I enjoyed the migraine bit, but I'm afraid staring at my computer for too long gives me a migraine, so thus, the more time I spend on Writing.Com the worse my headaches are... and they've been pretty bad lately LOL!!
This is a wonderful writing exercise... taking music and writing the story that it tells you. I think that you are incredibly creative for being able to pull this off. You said that this was in print media... where is it published so that I might order a copy of it myself.
I think that this is a wonderful group idea. I didn't know that there was a group for journaling. Perhaps you should create a logo (or ask one of your members to create a logo) which members can display in their journal descriptions?
This is a very interesting poll idea. I don't think I've ever seen a question like this in a writing.com poll. I like how you used the writingML for the stars in the answer. I also was not surprised at the results... 4 stars seems to be the prevailing self-rating.
This is an amazing letter. At first, I thought it was a suicide note, but then, as I neared the end, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it was a drug you were parting with. Congratulations on staying clean!
This is wonderful.
I write some erotica that I wouldn't want my friends, family, or teachers to find, so I may just create a secondary account for that. Thank you for providing a facility where this may be done!
Is there any way where we would be allowed to move an item from our main portfolio to our secondary portfolio?
This poem is beautifully written, but it's structure needs a lot of fixing. I'm not really an expert on that. (If anyone reads this review and can help please do!)
You have run-on sentences, which are okay in poems, but can easily be corrected by adding a period where you put a comma.
You also have several places where you should go to the next line, but probably accidentally forgot to hit "enter" because in the "create an item" the text wraps.
The purpose of folders is to organize your portfolio... so why then are all of your items in this one folder, with a mass amount of folders within this folder? It doesn't make much sense to me. I would also suggest that you add just a bit of writingML to this folder's description.
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