Your story became a bit hard to follow as so many characters were introduced in such a short time. Otherwise, it was an enjoyable read. There were a few minor grammar/punctuation errors.
Interesting narrative. You could certainly write a book on this concept as this short section does leave the reader asking for more. What happened to turn the girl into a shell?
This was great! It left me wanting to read more and with a curiosity to figure out mason and wanda's story and how they got into this situation, as well as how they planned to get out of it. Is this a story you're planning to finish? I was not distracted by spelling errors or run on sentences. I felt the wording was good and the story was overall well written.
Although I dont know much about poker, the story gave me enough details to figure out What it all meant. In my opinion, this story was very well thought out an is written and I'm sure everyone who reads it is cheering Jennifer on as plenty of us know what it's like to struggle as a single mom.
I love the way this poem rhymes and seems to have a rhythm, at least when I was reading it. It has a good flow. The poem is well written and I enjoyed it. Good job and keep up the good work!
This piece was well thought out and written. I found a couple spelling errors but other than that I thought it was very good. Spelling errors include that she "wandered" the land instead of wonder. Also, instead of "why has my people changed" it should be "why have".
In my opinion, many of the exclamation points in this story should be switched to periods instead. Also, I came across four or so spelling errors. With a little cleaning up, this story could be very good. I love anything scary. Hope this helps and good luck on your future writings!
This was a good poem and it had definite emotion behind it. My biggest critique would be to change "deepness" to "depth" as I'm not sure deepness is a word. Other than that in my opinion, this was a well written poem. Good job and keep up the good work!
Hi, I'm not sure if you had a word limit on this story, but it could definitely be spruced up by adding some detail! Such as, what did you see when entering the house? What about the nursery have you the creeps? Also, there were a couple run on sentences where there were commas where a period should be. The story itself is intriguing, but you could hook the reader more with more description. Hope that helps!
Your story has a good plot line and a good amount of detail. If anything, I would add more emotion to the story, how does the woman feel and how did she get to said island? I am genuinely interested to know. Also have you thought about writing more of the story?
I really enjoyed this short story, and the emotion behind it was sweet. The description of the crumbling sidewalk and buildings was very good, and I realize you were trying to write less than 300 words but I wish I knew more about the monster and what they were doing there.
I'm sure you will come across a lot of mixed reviews of this piece, but I am not going to critique the ideas and opinions you put into this as much as the writing style. In my opinion, this piece would be richer if you switched up sometimes instead of always referring to "the man" or "the woman", using words like male, female, guys, etc.
I found your story intriguing, and it drew me in from the beginning. I was only a little confused at the ending as to how Spencer tied into the book. Was Spencer actually Collin or Dave? Otherwise, tge story had a good dialogue and I liked how you described your characters.
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