Hi Such a pretty poem.. so true so so true... and how beautifully you put this together .. short simple and again so true ... Oh thank you thank you for sharing this .... RainStar
(http://www.designmaze.co.uk)
Hi ....I enjoyed this poem and the ending is the best part of it. I go back to hat day And remember your sun-shining day.... Thanks for sharing .. RainStar
Let me just say how I love this poem. I used to write this sort of poetry in my mother language. As a mathematician, I did it with mathematics. I truly enjoyed making poems with maths concepts in them.
This poem is not my type and the reason is as follows:
poetry should come from heart and at moments when the soul is crying to escape..... Poetry and contest do not make a good couple unless an already written poem get submitted for a contest related to the poem's subject.
Anyway. It is my opinion and it does not mean it is correct! And by the way, to be able to write such a good poem and follow a contest rule, you must be a very able poet. And I can see this in your poem here.
This poem of yours has something that I have mentioned in so many of my poems.... I am 38 now and when I look back at my young days, something always comes to my mind... Image of a wild girl with a hair scattered around her shoulders... Chasing cats and butterflies...
The answer to your question is yes. We all hide behind masks, and do not have only one mask... We have so many different masks for different occasions and different individuals.... Masks are like clothes we wear... We put on clothes to hide our bodies, as well as how our bodies... Our clothes sort of represent our personalities... And so are our masks....
I loke this poem. It is a poem without a mask.
Sparkles
RainStar
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I was amazed by the fact that the writer of this story is only 13. I came to this site while reading a testimonial by the author. The age 13 was mentioned. I have a daughter myself, so by seeing this item on the port, I decided to read on.
It is a fantastic story, both the plot, and the characters are well brewed and lovely.
Well done and I would like to come back and read more when you have other items here. You are a natural writer.
Sparkles
RainStar
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And here is my rating for the folder. Although it has only one song present, but I am sure it will be filled with so many beautiful songs as the one currently in it: "Invalid Item" .
Write on and thanks for sharing.
Sparkles
RainStar
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I like this ghazal. I generally enjoye the kind of poetry that has rhythm and also rhymes and ghazal include both. Ghazal satisfies my thirst for poetry.
Well done and thanks for sharing yoru "SHER"s.
Sparkles
RainStar
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I like the way you describe images. They are like watching a film.. The pictures come alive in front of the reader's eyes.
I suggest that you use your talent in describing, to try adding some otehr senses such as smell, and taste to your writing. This way you would be nearer to reality...
Sparkles
RainStar
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Happiness is where we feel good, perhaps in all of writing.com moments.... Why two hours per day on this site, reading and reviewing? Because it makes you happy: it is something to look forward to when you start your day.
Keep writing, and reviewing... Look forward to having you on my port....
Sparkles
RainStar
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Congratulations on winning the contest. I didn't read your entry until after the results. It is fantastic.
I didn't know you were so graet in explaining scientific, and especially physics phenomenons.(sp?)
I love this paragraph:
"The truth is that my bathtub is actually a dense cluster from a middleweight starburst, which emitted ultraluminous x-rays ten times stronger than a neutron star. As everyone knows such super masses can grow by feasting on surrounding matter, but this cluster lost its kinetic energy because of its angular momentum resulting from the friction of its enormity which evolved itself into a galvanized black hole, but because of the particular nature of its hot gases, collapsed inward, merged, and finally unmerged into spiral seeds which powered an AGN (active galactic nucleus). The resulting concentration of metallic compounds split off to become this one highly concentrated porcelain bathtub that has become the ultimate intergenerational link to the universe."
I just could's stop laughing for what you did to the poor MILKMAN at the end of the item.
An absolutely fatastic read.
Write on ....
Sparkles
RainStar
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This is the second matlib I have ever read. It was absolutely fantastic and surprising.
I specially enjoyed:
"To prove themselves, the contestants will have to compete in an endless string of pointless challenges, including, but not limited to, eating DONKEY EARS. But that’s just the beginning. In addition to having to survive each other, they’ll have to survive the company of Paris Hilton and POSH SPICE!”"
This is a very beautiful and classical fantasy. I like the way Unusa searches for the truth.
Just a few opinions:
Overuse of the word “mist”., used it five time sin the first five paragraphs.
I like the following description: “ “Usuna, my Lord, it is so good to see you,” the man said as he finally reached Usuna. He reached out with his hand and held it there to welcome a handshake, but Usuna ignored this and gave the friend a bear hug.”
In the sentence: “We are at rest, now, and that is not what our Greaters would want of us. Let us smile and shake hands.”, what do you mean by “Greaters?”
In the ending, I would use “gods” instead of “Gods”, but it is up to the author to make the final decision.
I have not found any spelling or grammatical issues. The use of vocabulary is great.
Well done and write on. You are a very good writer of fantasy.
Sparkles
RainStar
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Please do not delete these from the site. These stories and poems are so nice.
I don't know what happened, but I am sure you do not have to consider what is left is dust.. If they are to be considered dust, they are surely gold dust....
You have someone who enjoys your port a lot.... And that is me again, RainStar, or as you called me, Rain!
I like this poll, as I had the question in my head as well. I used to blog and stopped it as I found people who bloged, were not serious about writing.
When I used writing.com for my trial period, I was amazed to see so many high calibre authors at this site, and I knew by instinct that so may of them were actually published authors and editors.
The reviewing system is great, but I found that with the number of people publishing on the site, there are not enough reviewers.
I personally think that whoever uses the site, has to do three proper reviews for each logon.
This way, we all get to read and review each other's work.
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