A nicely written, light hearted story about how you deal with stress by eating popcorn. You express your feelings very aptly with discriptive words that evoked a mental picture of you stuffing yourself with popcorn. Just picturing it made me chuckle. I did notice you spelled "buttery" wrong, you wrote "butterey". Otherwise, keep the words flowing, write on.
A well written true story about a good man turned bad after becoming addicted to drugs. I liked the way you presented it by informing the reader about the events that led up to his ending up on Death Row, then being executed in the electric chair. As I read the story, I felt the emotions he felt flowing through the many discriptive words you wrote to portray what he was going through. They also enabled me to mentally picture the events you described, some of which made me shudder with pain for what he went through when they tried to electrocute him the first time, burning him, and it failed. Such a cruel way to die. Write on.
A trilogy of emotional, heartfelt, free verse poems in which you express your thoughtsand emotions about the one you love with numerous discriptive words that evoke an emotional response in the reader. They also enable the reader to mentally picture the many scenes you portray in the poems. I did notice a few spelling errors; "spteppes" is "steppes" and "sacredd" is "sacred". Otherwise very moving poetry. Write on.
A well written free verse poem in which you tell a story about going to see the place where your mother died amd how it affected you. The many discriptive words you wrote to describe what you saw, and how you felt, enabled the reader to feel the deep sorrow you felt over the loss of your mother. Write on.
An emotional, heartfelt, free verse poem in which you express your thoughts and feelings about your mother on the anniversary of her birthday. As I read the poem I can feel your pain flowing through the words and your grief over her death. Writing can be a benificial way of coping when under duress. Write on.
The excitement and anticipation grows in each chapter as to what will happen next. I liked.that you are writing it in the first person. It makes it easier for the reader to feel involved in the story by seeing it through the eyes of the characters. This chapter piqued my curiousity as to what will happen next. Write on.
A nicely written chapter 4, in the continuing story of Meg, that I found to be interesting. You expressed her thoughts and feelings, about what John did to her and how she felt about him and her cousin, very aptly. I could feel her outrage and anger as I read the story. Keep the words flowing, write on.
An emotional, nicely written piece in which you express your thoughts and feelings very well. I like the way you presented it by giving some background information first about your mixed feelings about your step-mother and then your real mother. As I read it I could feel your turmoil and pain flowing from the words. Write on.
A nicely written, prose poem that I enjoyed reading. I liked the way you presented it by using many discriptive words that painted a mental picture in my mind of what you were portraying in it. They also enabled me to feel the emotions you must have felt as you drove through the mountains. You did have one error in verse two, line one, you wrote "cod" instead of "cold". Write on.
An interesting short story that I enjoyed reading. I liked the way you presented it by portraying, with many discriptive words, the various events as they occured while you were waiting in line to pay your speeding ticket. As I read them I was able to mentally picture it which enhanced my enjoyment. Keep the words flowing, write on.
An interesting and educational story about your experiences of living in Nigeria. You expressed your thoughts and feelings very effectively throughout your story. As I read it I could visualize the scenes you portrayed due to the many discriptive words you used in conveying what occurred and what you were feeling at the time. I could feel your yearning for the things you missed, that you had when living in London, flowing from those words. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A nicely written, emotional, heartfelt short story that I enjoyed reading. I liked the way you presented the story with the main character telling about the different events in her life that affected her and her husband's outlook on life. You expressed the thoughts and feelings of Olivia and Mark with words that enbled the reader to relate to what they went through and feel what they felt. While reading the story I felt their emotions and could mentally picture the scenes you portrayed which brought the story to life for me. Keep the words flowing, write on.
An emotional, heartfelt poem in which you express your thoughts and feelings about your mother and her death. As I read the poem I could feel the conflict of emotions flowing from the words you wrote to convey to the reader those thoughts and feelings of anger, guilt, pain, and feeling unloved by your mother. Writing about your feelings can be beneficial at times. It's certainly not healthy to keep them bottled up inside oneself. So, write on.
Wow, what an intense, emotional, well written short story. You expressed the characters' thoughts and feelings with words that conveyed to the reader each other's anger and rage during the events that you portrayed. As I read all those discriptive words I felt like I was that poor young girl who had been abused by her drunken father. They also enabled me to mentally picture the scenes you portrayed. All the makings of an excellent story, even though it is a sad one. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A delightful, funny story that I enjoyed reading. I liked the way you presented it from your point of view in the first person which brought it to life as I read it. The words you used to describe the events enabled me to mentally picture what you portrayed and feel the emotions that were the result of what happened. Reading it made me laugh just picturing it. Write on.
A nicely written, educational, free verse poem that I enjoyed reading. As someone who bowled in a League in my younger years, I was enlightened by reading your poem about Norm Duke winning the World Championship for the third time. As I read the poem I could feel the excitement flowing through it as you conveyed what was necessary for him to reach his goal. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A heartfelt,emotional,free verse poem that conveys,to the reader, the anguish and pain resulting from being abused. As a survivor of abuse I can totally relate to the questioning of who am I. Abuse of any kind is wrong. Being abused when you are young can be especially damaging to one`s self image. Like you,writing about it was helpful in getting out the anger,regaining self respect,and negating the feelings that I did something to cause the abuse. The only error I noted is that "allowed" shoud be "crying aloud". Keep the words flowing, write on.
As I read your poem about the break up of a marriage, I could mentally picture the events you described and feel the emotional impact that one must feel when that happens. The words you used to convey what you were portraying were what created those pictures in my mind. That was what made the poem good along with the rhyming. The flow of the words, though, was off. In rhyming it is important to have the words flow easily. Write on.
Reading your well written poem, about watching Sunday sports, brings to my mind a picture of my husband watching football and/or baseball on that day. Your rhyme is excellent. The many discriptive words enable me to feel the excitement of what you are portraying. Another great poem, write on.
A delightful, entertaining, well written poem that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Your rhyme was excellent and the words flowed nicely. You expressed your thoughts with words that made it easy to follow the poem from start to finish. As I read it I could visualize, in my mind, that tiny mouse in his quest for some cheese. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A nicely written, emotional, short story that held my interest from the beginning to the end. You conveyed the thoughts and feelings of the father and his daughter very aptly. The words
you used enabled the reader to feel the emotions of the characters and their reactions to the different events that you wrote about. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A nicely written philisophical poem that gives good advice about believing in yourself when faced with the ups and downs of life. Your rhyming is good. You express your views with easy to understand words that convey to the reader the importance of liking yourself, doing your best, having self respect, showing kindness, and facing life's chalanges. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A well written free verse poem in which you express your thoughts and feelings about what it takes to be tough. The many discriptive words you use enables the reader to easily understand the points you are trying to convey. You have a unique way of getting your points across that I like. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A heartfelt, emotion filled, free verse poem in which you express your feelings with many discriptive words that convey to the reader your hurt and despair after having your heart broken by a loved one. As I read the poem I could feel your pain. Another great poem. Keep the words flowing, write on.
An emotional, heartfelt poem in which you express your thoughts and feelings, about what happened to you after the accident and how it affected your life, with words that enabled the reader to feel your pain and despair initially, then your realization that inner beauty comes from the heart. As a retired nurse I am familiar with your condition, so I can relate to what you went through. Thankfully there is some relief from the Botox injections. Write on.
Carlotta
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