A nicely writtten short horror story that I liked reading. You followed the theme throughout it very well. You expressed your thoughts and feelings about your angel with words that let
the reader mentally picture what she looked like and feel your care and concern for her. It held my interest from the start to the conclusion. Write on.
A well written free verse poem that is educational in that you convey the point that as adults we should look through the eyes of innocent children in order to achieve universal love. Also, we need to nurture and protect our children because the world we live in is full of stress and strife. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A well written essay about multivalence that I found to be educational in that it tells of various artists views on writing and what it means to an individual who reads it. You followed the theme very effectively throughout the essay. I liked the way you presented it with the quotes from a famous person preceeding the paragraphs. Keep the words flowing, write on.
An emotional, inspiring, free verse poem that I enjoyed reading. You followed the theme very nicely throughout the poem. You expressed your thoughts and feelings about winter with many discriptive words that conveyed your delight at the winter scene. As I read the poem I could mentally picture the scene you described because of those words you used. Write on.
I enjoyed reading your first chapter. I found it interesting and held my attention from the start to the conclusion of it. I liked the way you presented it by explaiining why Dana was leaving and giving some background information before getting deeper into the story. You expressed her thoughts and feelings very nicely with words that conveyed her determination to leave and follow her dream. As I read the story I could mentally picture the scenes you wrote about because of the words you used to write them. Write on.
An emotional, free verse poem about the wonder of giving birth to a baby.. You followed the theme very nicely throughout the poem. You conveyed your thoughts and feelings about it very effectively with words that painted a beautiful picture in the reader`s mind. Keep the words flowing, write on.
Your emotional, heartfelt, prose poem had me on an emotional rollercoaster as I read it. You kept to the theme exceptionally well throughout the poem. You conveyed your thoughts and feelings, while you were holding her hand in the hospital, with many discriptive words that enabled me to feel the emotions you felt as you went through that ordeal. Happily she came out of it at the end. Write on.
I enjoyed reading your poem about how voices change as one grows up over the years. You followed the theme very well throughout the poem. I liked the way you presented it as a story, but in verse. As I read the poem I could visualize, in my mind, the events you descibed occurring in it because of the many discriptive words that you used. They also enabled me to feel the emotions of love, pride, frustration, pain, and loneliness that the character in the poem was feeling. Your rhyme was good, too. Write on.
As I read your prose poem, I could mentally picture the events that you portrayed in it because of all those discriptive words that you used you to convey the passage of time for the boy who just wanted to enjoy riding his go-kart with his dad. You followed the theme very effectively. Keep the words flowing, write on.
An emotional free verse poem that portrays the two sides of a person`s personality. You follow the theme very well throughout the poem. You convey to the reader your feelings as viewed from the outside, then the inside of the window with words that enable me to mentally picture what you are describing and relate to what you are feeling. A couple of suggestions I have: drop the "And" in line four of the second verse, start with "The wind "that" blows, etc" You wrote "the blows here, etc" ; there should be a "comma" after "inviting" and "vacant", and there should be a "period" after "back". Write on.
I thought your fictional story was pretty interesting. You kept to the theme throughout it very nicely with words that enabled the reader to visualize, mentally, the events that you depicted in the story. You expressed the thoughts and feelings of the various characters very effectively with words that let the reader feel what they were feeling. I was disappointed in the conclusion, though, because you left the reader hanging and wondering what does happen to the Scarlet Bandit. Write on.
An emotional, heartfelt, free verse poem that tells of a father`s pain of not being able to see his daughters after being separated from their mother. You express your thoughts and feelings very well throughout the poem with many discriptive words that convey to the reader the depth of your despair. As I read the poem I can feel the emotions flowing from the words you wrote. The only suggestions I have are to drop the "And" in front of "that" and start it with " "So that this pain",etc. Also, drop the "and" between "them" and "knowing" then use a :"comma" after "them" instead. This will make the words flow better. In the last paragraph you use "them" four times when it would be more effective if you used "my daughters" in the first line instead of "them", then in the second line" their names" instead of "them at the end of it. Line three I`d write "Because they don`t know where their father went". However, these are just suggestions, the poem is yours. Write on.
A nicely written chapter three that is a continuation of the story about Detecttive Ziti. You follow the theme very effectively throughout the story. I like the way you present it with all the conversations which brings it to life as I read it. You express the thoughts and feelings of the characters with words that enable the reader to feel their reactions to the events that you write about. As I read the story I can mentally picture what is happening due to all those discriptive words you use. Write on.
Judy, Thank you for sharing your very trying and frightening ordeal with us. As a retired R.N. I can really relate to the things you`ve so aptly described in the book that you`ve started. We all care so much for you and are praying that the medicines you are receiving put you in remission. From what you have written here I feel you are a fighter and have a strong will which is important in fighting any disease. Writing about your trials and tribulations can be cathartic, so write on. Take Care.
I Care.
An interesting, intense short story with a twist at the end. You followed the theme throughout it very nicely. You expressed the thoughts and feelings of the characters with words that enabled the reader to relate to them. As I read the story I could visualize the events that you so aptly portrayed. Write on.
An emotional, heartfelt song about feeling sorry about leaving someone you once loved. You follow the theme very well throughout the song. You express your thoughts and feelings with words that enable the reader to undersrand why you are regretful and feeling sorry. Keep the words flowing, write on.
An inspirational, nicely written free verse poem in which you follow the theme very well throughout the poem. You express your thoughts and feelings about it with,words that enable the reader to relate to and understand what you are portraying,in the poem.I liked reading it except for the use of "And" in places where it wasn`t necessary. For me, it takes away the power of the statement you are making. Otherwise a good poem. Write on
An emotional, nicely written poem about a rose. You followed the theme throughout the poem. Your rhyme was good. As I read the poem I could mentally picture the scenes you depicted in it because of the many discriptive words you used. They brought life to the poem. Write on.
An intense, riviting, scary horror story that I enjoyed reading. It held my attention from the beginning to the conclusion. You followed the theme throughout the story very effectively. As I read it I could mentally visualize all the scenes you portrayed in it because of all those graphic discriptive words you used to convey what was occurring to the reader. The words also enabled me to feel the emotions of the characters. I could hardly wait to reach the end to find out what was going to happen. A good story. Write on.
A heartfelt, emotional poem that is nicely written. You follow the theme very well throughout the poem. Your rhyme is good. You express your thoughts and feelings, about your experiences of inhumane and cruel treatment by ignorant people who think they are better than anyone that is a different from them, with words that enable the reader to feel your anger, pain, and sense of injustice. As I read the poem I could easily relate to why they might fear you due to the words you wrote. They are afraid you might give back to them what they did to you. Write on.
An emotional, nicely written free verse poem that encourages one to follow their head rather than their heart. You kept to the theme very effectively throughout the poem. You expressed your philosophy on the subject with words that conveyed to the reader your thoughts and feelings on the subject. However, I disagree, to some extent, because head knowledge is good in some circumstances, but if your heart isn`t into what you`re doing, it`s bound to cause you stress which can lead to all types of problems, possibly even failure, in what you were doing. Write on.
I enjoyed reading your story about going to an out-of-the-way place to listen to a blues band. You followed the theme very nicely throughout the story. You conveyed the characters` thoughts and feelings with words that enabled the reader to feel their fear at some of the places they had to travel through to get to where they were going, then their elation at hearing how good the blues players were. While I was reading it I could mentally picture the events as they unfolded which brought the story to life for me. I do love listening to the blues, too. Write on.
As I read the poem I could feel the adrenalin rush flowing from the words in which you describe the police catching the speeder. You followed the theme very well throughout the poem. As I read the poem I could mentally picture what occurred because of the words you used to describe it. I could also feel your relief that it wasn`t you who was speeding. Write on.
An emotional, intense prose poem that tells of woman commiting suicide, alone, outside, in the night. As I read the poem, I can mentally picture the scene that you portray in it because of the many discriptive words that you write to convey to the reader the events that occurr before and after the deed is done. Keep the words flowing, write on.
A nicely written short story that I enjoyed reading. I liked the way you presented it by leading the reader to believe that Mary was addicted to hard core drugs and needed a fix, then it`s mentioned that China had bought up all the Coffee houses. Now it was obvious that she was addicted to the caffeine in coffee and was trying to kick the habit. I liked the conversations as they make the story more realistic. Keep the words flowing, write on.
Carlott
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