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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/runnerman
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84 Public Reviews Given
102 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Isabell  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (5.0)
Fantastic. Loved the repetition. Meticulously constructed, but not a slave to form. Great read.
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2
Review of Around  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (2.5)
I love the concept, but the first line is 6 syllables.
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3
Review of What If . . .  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is very good. 5th stanza might the weak point for me. Small fee line seems a liitle forced and "Where would you go?" doesn't seem related to the other lines.
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Review of Silence  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a beautiful, coherent tale. It reads fairly smoothly. It seems to break it's own rules in spots. Stanzas are iambic, but one is trochaic (4th) Syllable counts vary, but I tend to be more of a sound guy. I don't like the lack of rhyme in 6th stanza as you rhyme in every other one (although the lines themselves are great). This is picky stuff. Take it as you wish. Not even sure if I am right. It's a terrific piece!


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5
5
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Cute. Nice story. Rhyme is a little clunky in spots, perhaps you could tweek a little.
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Review of Books are Great  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.0)
Seems to flirt with structure without being too committed. I think you meant "and bring us to a new kingdom".
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7
Review of Annie at the show  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice flow. I like it. I might add periods.
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Review of Today  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice, simple, concise! I might use 4 lines stanzas, but just one man's opinion.
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Review of Bang  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (5.0)
I lost to this in poem a day contest. And I would have voted for you. This is well done!
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Review of Spring  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well done! Enjoyed this one.
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11
Review of Fireworks  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (5.0)
That is fabulous! Great Rhythm, not forced at all. Has a theme. Fulfills the requirements. You made my night!
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12
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very clever!
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Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is nice! Good structure, smooth and funny. Makes me want to read more of your stuff. I usually read anyone who reviews me. More often than not I am disappointed. And I want to like it. Especially if it was a nice review.
14
14
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Simple. Clear. Concise. I like it.
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Review of Bridled Passions  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (5.0)
Loved this one. I think this may be my next project in form school. It is a feat when you fit the form without sounding clunky and still make your point. I will read more.
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Review of Hungry liquor  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
II'm not sure if it's a tribute, but I like it.
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17
Review of War and Peace  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
I gather you followed a particular form here. What is it?
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Review of My Best Friend  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice. Personally, I don't capitalize first word of a line if it begins mid-sentence. Not sure what is the stabdard on that. perhaps you have more insight than I.
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Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice idea. I would switch to "on a clothes line" and "more to it's surprise than anyone else's."
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Review of A Slice of Myself  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very creative. Love it!
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Review of Dog Tags  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (5.0)
WOW! Phenomenal. One of the best things I have read on here. Thank you!
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Review of The Cutter  
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Enjoyed this one. Well executed and, while I feel for you if this is an issue for you, it feels palpable to me as a reader.
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23
Review by ZenRunner
Rated: E | (3.0)
I found the rhythm in this one a bit awkward, particularly the 2nd stanza. Seems fixable. good overall premise.
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