This is a very nicely done poem. I love the imagery that you have used. You've also told a good story here. Your themes can draw the reader in because we all have a place of pleasant childhood memories. I love how you have incoroprated the senses into your writing!
Regards,
Ms. J
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Good twist. This is an interesting little story. You've done a nice job involving the senses in the writing, and then you throw the reader for a loop. That is always fun. Nicely done. (I am assuming that this is from the point of view of a patient in a dentist chair?)
Regards,
Ms. J
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This is a fun poem. I like that it is the monster in the room that scares that little girl at night. None of my grandparents had dentures, but I remember things in their house that scared me. I was convinced the Big Bad Wolf lived in my grandmother's extra bedroom. This has a topic that is easy to relate to, and a sense of humor. Congrats on going outside your comfort zone! I'd say it was a success!
Regards,
Ms. J
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This poem sounds as though someone is working out their emotions about their biological father. Fathers that were not there for us growing up, either emotionally or physically, are very hard to reconcile with. If this is your situation I am glad that you have found a medium to express your emotions.
Regards,
Ms. J
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This is an interesting little piece. You've used some good imagery to capture emotions, and sensations that are hard to put into words, and all in only 300 words. You've done a good job with the descriptions. I like the comparison to a panther, as we all know that cats like to play with their prey.
Regards,
Ms. J
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Ok, makes me wonder what someone could have possibly done to deserve such a fate as this. Hum... You've made good use of imagery, writing for the senses. It paints a viviq2ad picture for the reader. Interesting start to the story.
Regards,
Ms. J
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This is fun to read. It reminded me of when I was young. This young man sounds like a not only is he good looking, but he has other good qualities as well. I wish you lick with your relationship, and hope it turns out well. Good job!
Regards,
Ms. J
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I really liked your poem. It combined some serious issues with humor. It was fun to read! Ya, I could do without rap too. It's overrated! I also like how your God would react to all the frustrations of the world. It is realistic to how a woman would react. It also makes God sound like She knows what it is like to be human, and that is comforting! Nicely done.
Regards,
Ms. J
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This is a clever use of personification. I like how it shows the relationship that can exist between a writer and his/her thoughts when they are written down. You have used great imagery in describing the diary, and that has helped bring it to life as a character. Nice job!
Regards,
Ms. J
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I am sorry to hear about the passing of your dog. Pets are such an important part of life. I think that this is a great way to remember her. Also, I love that you used the reference to the Boatman. It brings a learned sophistication to the piece. Nicely done!
Ms. J
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