A magic fantasy story with an undefined being with a satchel full of magical objects - and a witch that wants what's inside. Good premise and a very descriptive setting. I would like to know a bit more about the main character, where he came from and why this witch wanted to find the remainder of his kind.
Technical Difficulties:
These are the errors on the first read (the suggestions are on the second read)
eyes and l{ay laid absolutely still
he is not out soon (,) we break down the door.”
Tosh now knowing he was out numbered outnumbered retreated. Setting his sword and shield on the bed he quickly pulled on his pants, put (h)is
one(-)room house
right and left, (and) the street was empty.
and knelt down behind a barrel
Tense changes - you seem to go between present and past tense. (I do this all the time - when writing)
night cloths clothes staring
in and out of the shadowed moon light moonlight he
to get light(-)headed and his shoulder
lightening lightning burst from the end
and threw (a) ball of flame in his direction. He blew softly on his whistle as the fire ball
Without much thought(,) Tosh peered out from behind his hiding place and gave a long blow on his whistle. Peering from behind his hiding place he gave a long blow on his whistle
He then took out his pocket knife(,) and cut the tip off the dart and removed it from his shoulder.
Ahead he could see an outcropping of rockmake out a rock out cropping; “maybe a cave” he mumbled to himself.
Tosh knew he could not out gun outgun the powerful witch so he said “come and get it” as he held up the satchel and began to blow on his whistle. Knowing he could not outgun the power of this witch he shouted "come and get it", holding up the satchel Tosh began to -
There are a few more, but I'm not editing the story - just pointing out some of the rough spots I encountered while reading
Favorite Line or Verse:
Her face was ashen white and her flowing hair a dark blood red. She did not walk but hovered above the ground, black robes blowing in the breeze.
You did a great job describing this character in two sentences
Ending Remarks:
I didn't like the ending and wanted to know more about Tosh's kind. Where were they from, what did they look like, and why did he smile in the end?? Somewhat disappointed that the story ended without these answers. I would have continued to read to find out more about his culture.
This is my opinion regarding your short story. Please take only what you feel is useful, and leave the rest
A contest entry, but no link to the contest provided - or I would have included this in the review.
Overall Impression:
A fiction piece based on the Chicago fire of 1871. I very much enjoyed your use of an entire paragraph of almost all cliche phrases to describe the temperament leading up to the day of the event. The story flowed well, and nothing that particularly slowed my read. The use of the prompts assuming they were prompts due to the bold text tied well within the story, and if they weren't bold text - I don't feel the reader wouldn't notice.
Technical Difficulties:
Do it now, son! (omit the comma)
but in at that moment
I think that maybe "bessie" deserves capitalization because that is the proper name of the cow.
A few small clarifications in some areas such as:
Ash had begun to rain down,(.) and I looked up to see a woman, leaning out of the three story theater next door, already engulfed in flames. was the woman engulfed in flames or the building?
The final paragraph seemed a bit rushed.
Favorite Line or Verse:
Chicago was normally warm this time of year. You’d walk outside in the middle of the day and it was like breathing a stew that warms your soul.
I would have never described living in Chicago heat as "stew that warms your soul" - I've said many other things about Chicago heat, that is definitely not one of them.
Ending Remarks:
The story read very casually like you were listening to someone telling you their personal story. A very pleasant style for this piece.
Not too sure about the horror/scary Genre - Although it does deal with death "in my opinion" there isn't enough horror to warrant this Genre.
This is my opinion regarding your short story. Please take only what you feel is useful, and leave the rest
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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This was a suggested read while utilizing the read and review tool.
I found this to be a very interesting opinion regarding Mob rule and how unpopular thinking can thrust a person or group into extinction.
It kind of stifles creativity when popular thinking limits the ability to create, invent and explore possibilities.
Especially when freedom of speech becomes directed speech. Of course, there are those that could take this as all speech is "good for all". Although we all know there is some speech that does good for none.
Anyway - well-written opinion piece, and it unfortunately still holds true.
You have created a delightful puzzle of facts about the Rising star candidates. I enjoyed learning new items - and found a few new things to read along the way.
Maybe I'll lower the rating of my folder - and just raise the rating on some of its contents.
Thank you for sharing!!
Insert Rising Star Image here that I have yet to link
This was a suggested read while using the read & review tool.
Interesting 99 word story challenge. reads sort of like a journal entry.
A short story of a pirate looking for fame and glory
- although the Pirate may have misunderstood that the Pirates way of life was often more about freedom of living the unpredictable life on the open seas, by the ship's code, not the rule of land law and often resulted in a short-lived life.
This was a suggested read while utilizing the read and review tool.
A very descriptive piece about unreleased anger. The piece made several valid points yet didn't solve the issue of how to release the anger one can keep bottled up for what sometimes, for some, can seem like centuries.
This was a suggested read while using the read & review feature.
Genre Comedy - that could have easily been flipped to horror with one or two more paragraphs detailing the gnome getting some sort of revenge on the photo-taking fan seekers. Just my opinion.
I found the story was well written, and no grammatical errors that stood out or slowed my read.
Made me feel bad for the jack the jackalope that we tortured one year during a cross country trip.
A Lilibonelle - written so well that I hardly noticed the repetitive line in each stanza.
Very descriptive poem creating a setting as well as revealing the sadness of economic disparity. Although this was written in 2005, unfortunately still holds true today.
Favorite Stanza
Nothing here except the music of an out-of-tune-six string
played by crippled fingers that know the meaning of blues.
I stop, tears in my eye to think the music may never return
to the bawdy clubs and strip joints on Bourbon Street.
This was a suggested read while using the read & review feature on the site.
Genre Horror/Scarry
A story of a condemned man that succumbs to tragedy after receiving dire news one fateful night.
I found the writing more of a guide to the end of the tale - instead of a climactic tale of suspense with a finite ending—a sort of remembrance.
Telling the story in the first person was a good choice. The writing style was haunting, taking place in a time of belief in Werewolves, Vampires, and Ghouls but not overdone.
This was a suggested item while using the read & review feature.
Although this was written in 2011 - It still holds meaning.
Favorite Stanza:
Collateral damage it's called in the press,
discussed with dispassion like figures or charts.
I lose hope for our future, I must confess,
for ignoring the damage done to our hearts.
An unfortunate balance between empathy and reporting that may never be achieved.
This was a suggested piece, while using the read & review feature of the site.
A very well written poetic expression.
Favorite Stanza The sun rises a bright bloody red.
I'm already up, fitting myself new armor.
My weapons are cleaned, polished and set.
I grab my equipment and rush to my troop.
This was a suggested read while using the read & review feature
Interesting format you chose for this poem.
Seems to depict relationship issues in which the significant other is, as you repeat several times in the verse, "blind" to the issues you are experiencing.
Hello Redtowrite
Difficult to review in this current political climate, especially after today's events. - but let's give it a go.
I'm not going to touch on the politics - My review isn't based on right, left, middle, black, white, brown, gold, green, or any shade there of. And since I have to write this disclaimer, you can see why this makes this all the more difficult to give any meaningful opinion. - But you deserve a review for your efforts.
Very insightful poem - the rhyme scheme made it flow and the meaning was easy to follow.
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Overall Impression:
Technical Difficulties:
This is my opinion regarding your short story. Please take only what you feel is useful, and leave the rest 
Favorite Line or Verse:
