Hi, your poem came up in a random "read and review".
Nicely done. I can tell the poet is young from the perspective on pain and death. (That's neither bad nor good. Just an observation.)
I'm glad you are using poetry to express yourself. Keep up the good work.
A random review
I thought it was very interesting, worthy of a second read. But I found your author's note even more fascinating. The creative process was inspirational. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Best wishes
Random review
A very enjoyable read. I appreciate the info about the kyrielle. It helps me to appreciate the poem more when I understand its construction.
good job
Best wishes, pumpkin
Hi, this came up in random reviews.
I appreciate the explanation of the form at the bottom. I like it when people include that for those of us who are new to it or just can't remember. Poetry is all about the economy of words. Seeing that done under certain standards is very helpful for expanding our appreciation of poetry. Thanks.
Your poem is very thoughtful and probably strikes a chord for many.
Well done.
Random read and review.
I appreciate your poem. A lovely memory, good scene painting. T=Music, a reference to cold all help to add to the feeling. I never think of snow when I think of Oklahoma, so thanks for revealing that.
Positive and uplifting read.
Best wishes.
Just a random read and review.
Who doesn't love watermelon? We leave the rinds and seeds for the squirrels, then mix them into the flowerbeds to compost. You do a nice job of describing watermelon, even the juicy mess left behind. The poem paints a lovely summer picture. Very nice job!
Hi, a random read and review
The first half was all about pro-lifers and was negative. I thought the poet was pro-choice until the last half described all the variations in pro-choice. That was quite a chore describing the controversy in a poem.
One point you made rang very true-"abortion as birth control". We usually hear people talk about poor women, the minorities, single, underage or women with health threats. Yet a few years ago I read statistics that showed the majority of women receiving abortions were white, married, over 21, middle-class, and healthy. That tells us that, not all, but many, many women are seeking abortions because they are inconvenienced.
Despite where I thought you were heading, you actually did a good job of painting the many different views.
A random review
Very powerful, dark. I like the repetition of the last line in the first and last stanzas. Your rhyme is consistent and feels satisfactory. Nice contrasts portrayed.
Very good, a good read. Thanks for sharing.
First, the story line is easy but has intrigue. You can't tell if it's going to be horror or psychological. Then the funny ending. Very clever, cute. The cover photo even makes the reader consider the possibility of an animal outside. That, too, is a clever distraction.
I don't know if you were attempting any special format. Sometimes you have a rhyme and sometimes not. I kept going over it, thinking I missed a scheme. I guess I wnted no rhyme or a somewhat consistent one throughout.
Overall, I'd say quite well done. Maybe we'll see some more of these before Halloween.
Hi, a random review.
Looks like you might be new here. Welcome.
A nice poem about lessons in nature. Hope can be stronger than the evidence before us. Nicely done.
One potential change: In the 2nd stanza, 4th line. "to be awaken" , maybe leave out "be" or make it "be awakened".
Writing is a great outlet for expression. No fear of censorship, or being misunderstood. There is a freedom in writing that you don't feel when interacting with others.
Good for you. Keep writing however you feel. Let it flow. Keep it going.
All the best.
Pumpkin
Hi, found randomly.
Interesting. Wild endive? That's new to me.
So Sasquatch appears to appeal for the environment. Good reason.
Good cause.
Liked it. The poem form was new to me, too. Good job.
Nicely written. You recall a terrible day that brought people together will feelings of brotherhood. Sadly, a tragedy often unites a family or a community, or even a nation. Thanks for commemorating that day.
A random read and review.
You captured my imagination. Not an every day topic. Few of us will ever pilot a hot air balloon or a Zeppelin, but you managed to engage our imaginations. So the imagery is good.
Thanks for sharing with us and offering a new adventure.
Your poem works because it says a lot in a few words. I sense frustration, aloneness even if not alone, insecurity, and wistfulness. There is also a sense of inadequacy, of being unable to change things. There is also the dullness of repetition, or routine. Ideally, "home" does offer warmth ,comfort, and rest. You don't get that impression here.
Your poem doesn't say why it's this way, or what might have changed it. It leaves it open for interpretation. It's cleanly written. I say good job.
Random review
Beautiful. Makes me want to get out my hummingbird feeder and wait for them. Your storoem is homespun, sentimental, and ties the generations together with nature. Lovely poem.
Best wishes
Reading Round 85 entries to get a feel for synchronicity.
You've written a good poem. I appreciate the questions asked. It was a good twist.
Thanks for sharing with us.
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