Hi Shannon! After reading "If I Were Invisible" , I offer you these comments: This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is interesting. The poem is good and the narration is smooth. A child tells his thoughts about being invisible. The lines are lively and they bring the naughty picture of an invisible child. I have a 4 years old son. I am scared imagining him do all that. Children are mischievous, the little things they do, wash away the stress and pain of the parents.
Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Hi Shannon! After reading "A Package from Grandma" , I offer you these comments: This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is inviting and apt for the content. The poem is about an emotional realization of the value of relationships in life. Life is full of lessons. Each lesson is a remainder from our dear ones or strangers. We succeeed if we learn each one by heart.
Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions. Your poem is an inspiration to the readers.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Hi Shannon! After reading "Shoeshine" , I offer you these comments: This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
Truly a tough tongue twister treat to testify! I love the Shoeshine tongue twister. It is interesting. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Hi Shannon! After reading "Seasons" , I offer you these comments: This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is inviting and apt for the content. The poem describes the growing love from season to season. I like the flow and the crisp words used in the poem. My favorite parts are the words used to describe the seasons; "Blooming flowers"- Spring "Stifling heat"- Summer "Crisp fall air"- Fall
Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions. Your poem is lovely.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Hi Miss Natalie! After reading "PLASTIC" , I offer you these comments: This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is interesting and apt for the content. The poem is speaks about the growing credit modes that blind and ruin men's lives. There is a social message in this poem. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions. Your poem is inspirational and thought provoking.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is interesting and apt for the content. The poem is nice and inspiring. My favorite lines are;
"Don’t close the door
to your heart."
These lines have deeper meanings. Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
I have no suggestions. Your poem is good.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is interesting and apt for the content. The poem is short, emotional and neat to read. The poem has a strong message,
True love can make the stormy life's journey easy. My favorite lines are;
"Listen to my heart
As I hold you tight."
Nice thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
Two lines(5th and 7th) are a bit long in the poem. You could make it shorter for a better flow.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is interesting and inviting. The poem is nice and has deep messages and emotions. My favorite lines are;
"They compose a melody made of nature's sounds.
The songs of birds, the wind in trees, music that abounds
in the wings of butterflies, the humming of the bees,
in perfect counterpoint to the sighing of the breeze."
These lines are expressive and it is a Nature's song for me. Thanks for sharing a poem with an important social message about forest depletion and extiction.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is interesting. This is a sweet little poem describing the beauty od Nature. The poem describes the magic of cloudy sapphire sky and the music of soothing wind. Your words paint a picture in mind. My favorite lines are;
"deepening sapphire skies
and as the wind whispered
ethereal music,
the clouds danced."
Yes, it is true that most of the time the wonders of Nature go unnoticed. I enjoyed reading your work. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Hi fyn! After reading "Lost Within" , I offer you these comments: This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is apt for the content. The poem is good with a smooth flow and strong emotion. You describe your lost state of mind with the strong feelings; confusion, fear, emptiness, lonliness, helplessness, regret and insecurity. My favorite lines are;
"Thoughts.
Thoughts that spark only to sputter out
Leaving me helpless in their darkness.
I cannot think."
These lines show the extreme end of depression. Nicely written lines. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
I have no suggestions. Your poem is good.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is inviting and is apt for the content. This Swap quatrain is nice and neat. You describe your son's 6th birthday party. You have captured the celebration in your work that will last as a sweet memory forever. My favorite lines are;
"Tears glisten as heart warmly thrums
Joyful mind a song quickly hums
Surprise tribute sends queer frisson
As heart warmly thrums, tears glisten"
These lines bring out the emotion in a chain of poetic words. I enjoyed reading your work. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions. Thanks for expaining the poem form. It is really helpful for new members like me.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
Puja.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
First Impression/My Favorite:
This is a beautiful acrostic poem on new year. The poem gives the very purpose of celebrating New year; To be cheerful, to forget the past, to thank God for everything, to hope not to repeat the past mistakes. My favorite line is;
"Ever learning to be better,"
This line has very deep meaning. Life comes with full of lessons to learn. Each lesson must be identified and learned. Till we complete the lesson it keeps on appearing. We grow as we learn. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions. The poem is lovely.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
Puja.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is apt for the content. This little story is interesting. I like the way you describe shadows, noise and the pale arm. These words bring the scene and the reader can picture it. There is a nice twist in the story at the end. I really enjoyed reading your work. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
I have no suggestion.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
Puja.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
Hi jaya! After reading "Our Grandson PG" , I offer these comments. This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
This is a cute poem about your grandson. Children are always sweet and inspiring. You have captured your one year old son in your lovely words. My favorite lines are;
"Cherubic face
shining eyes
dimpled cheeks
rosy innocence"
These lines are great. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
I have no suggestions.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
Puja.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
Hi kiyasama! After reading "Pleiades of the Faes" , I offer these comments. This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
These Pleiades for characters are great. Each one describes the character fully and clearly. The pictures seem to be painted for the words in the poems. Nothing is overwritten. These are five gem introductions. My favorite one is "Friouswip".
Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions. The poems are nice and neat.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
Puja.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
Hi Shannon! After reading "Winter's Breath" , I offer these comments. This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is inviting and apt for the content. This is a lovely poem that describes winter. The words are powerful and they paint a picture in mind. I like the way you described the snow. My favorite lines are;
"ethereal flakes descending ever so slowly to greet me.
A hint of sound as their tiny bodies reach the earth."
These lines are beautiful and lively. Nature displays wonders. Most of the times we do not notice them. I enjoyed reading your poem. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
There are no suggestions. This poem is an art.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
Puja.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
I'm playing in the WATER BALLOON RELAY with THE TALENT POND!
Hi JACE! After reading "Family Memories" , I offer these comments. This review is on behalf of Helping Hearts.
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is inviting and apt for the poem. The poem is nice and neat. It has a smooth flow with clear and warm words. Photographs are really great memories that capture the special moments of life forever. Each time we see the pictures we live the moment again.
My favorite lines are;
"Pleasures that fill my mind of day's past glees,
hauntingly completes my journey's memories."
These lines are beautiful and are true. I enjoyed reading your poem. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
I have no suggestions. Your poem is lovely.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
Puja.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
I'm playing in the WATER BALLOON RELAY with THE TALENT POND!
I'm playing in the WATER BALLOON RELAY with THE TALENT POND!
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is charming and inviting. The poem describes the exquisite golden web so well that one can imagine the web even without the beautiful picture. It is truly an art.
Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
No suggestions. I enjoyed reading your poem.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou,
Puja.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie from Paper Doll Group!
Hi ! After reading "My One Love" , I offer you these comments:
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is inviting and apt for the content. The story is short with good message about confidence and ambition. It is difficult to write a story with less than 150 words, you have done a good job. I like the way you have described the state of mind before a stage performance. My favorite line is;
"...I am reminded, this is why I was born."
This line reflects your happiness and your life's value.
Nice short story. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
I feel the line;
"I am nervous but my father taught me better-I am still full of confidence." could be improved.
You could make it simple, maybe;
"I am nervous but my father taught to be confident."
Just a thought!
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou, Puja
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie!
Hi ! After reading "Live" , I offer you these comments:
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is apt for the content. This is a nice little piece with deep meaning. My favorite line is;
"receiving, loving, longing"
These three words almost contains all the actions and feelings of life. I like the way you have described the poetry form at the end in detail. It is really easy and helpful for newbies like me. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
I have no suggestions. I like your poem.
"A poem that defines life and gives reasons why to live."
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou, Puja
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie!
Hi ! After reading "The meadow" , I offer you these comments:
First Impression/My Favorite:
The title is apt and inviting. The poem is nice and neat. I like the flow and the words are lively. I could pictutre the meadow as I read the poem. My favorite lines are;
"Summer enwrapped in the pasture of green
A perfect moment in an unforgetable scene."
These lines are beautiful. I like the way you described the meadow. This is truly a gift from the nature. Lovely poem. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar/Suggestions:
I have one suggestion;
You could extend the poem to describe more about the scene. Maybe, I have this feeling because I cannot wait to read the extended version of your poem.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou, Puja
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie!
Hi ! After reading "Food for Thought" , I offer you these comments:
First Impression:
The title is good and interesting. The poem is nice and the flow is good. I like the way you described the nature. My favorite lines are;
"The power of a panther when he falls…
The ferocity of a Tigress when she malls…"
These lines show the power of the wild animals. The words used are lively. Thanks for sharing the poem.
* I found one typing error;
The title "Food for Tought",should be "Food for thought".
* I feel that the last line from the first stanza;"The brightness of the sun’s rays passed down generation to generation."
and the second line from the second stanza;"Soft whisper of the breeze as it rustles through the leaves."
could be improved to make it short and match with the other lines of the poem.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou, Puja
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie!
Hi ! After reading "To My Godfather" , I offer you these comments:
First Impression:
The title is apt for the poem. The poem is emotional and the flow is good. My favorite lines are;
"Lives may fade,
But memories never die."
These lines are true. Memories are sweet or sad moments of life that are hidden in the heart... and hums long after memories are gone...
I liked reading your work. Thanks for sharing.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I found one typing error;
"Bur our hearts can find,"
It should be "but".
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou, Puja
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie!
Hi ! After reading "Eyes..." , I offer you these comments:
First Impression:
The title is inviting. The poem is nice and neat to read. Your thoughts are good. My favorite lines are;
"Your innocence captured me
Freedom is now part of past"
These lines are great. When you are in love, you are lost in a different world. I like the way you used "eyes" in different ways. I liked reading your work. Thanks for sharing.
Suggestions:
I have a suggestion;
I feel "eyes" imply two eyes. So, you could use adjectives instead of "two" in each stanza.
Poem with changes;(Example)
I’m drowning in your deep eyes
Blackest oceans are those eyes
Waves of pleasure crash on me
I sink, not to re-surface again
I’m burning in your glazing eyes
Fires of lust are those eyes
The flame burn my shame away
I’m stripped to my passion
I’m binded to your enticing eyes
Chains and shackles are those eyes
Your innocence captured me
Freedom is now part of past
I’m lost in your mysterious eyes
A coded book is those eyes
Ages fly to decrypt it
It’s a maze of signs and sighs
I’m in love with your charming eyes
Throne of my life is those eyes
Griefs and joys plead to be shared
Let me come in...forever.
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou, Puja
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie!
Hi ! After reading "Forever Alone" , I offer you these comments:
First Impression:
The title is apt for the poem. The poem is good and I like the emotion of the poem. The words are touching.
My favorite lines are;
"Expected to laugh,
Wanting to cry,"
These lines have very deep meaning. Sometimes, all of us feel the same way. And we laugh most of the times to hide the sorrow.
These are beautiful lines. Thanks for sharing.
Suggestions:
I have a suggestion;
* I felt that you could replace "I cannot"(from the fifth line) with some other words so that it is not repeated.
"My love for thee I cannot share, I cannot let you know I care."
These are just my views, so please make changes only if necessary.
Even without the changes your work is good.
Thankyou, Puja
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have been reviewed by a Newbie!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/preethis/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.29 seconds at 4:09am on May 08, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
