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4,011 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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426
426
Review of Inside my head  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Reading* Overall Impressions:
Hey Mel,
This made me want to cry.
It makes me want to tell my daughter 50 times a day how pretty she is!

It also made me think of childhood/teenage insecurities.
This is a unique prompt/ exercise to do.

I think you capture a young insecure girl very well.I could picture her looking in the mirror with all these thoughts running through her eyes.

Keep writing,
hugs, Tammy

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427
427
Review of Union  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thanks for entering your story in
Daily Flash Fiction Challenge  (13+)
Enter your story of 300 words or less.
#896794 by Arakun the Twisted Raccoon
and good luck.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Hi there,

Your title, rating and genres are all appropriate.
I love the quote you include, it helps to set up your story and that time period.

I really love where you took my prompt.
Your first line is strong and it really pulls your readers in.

You stick to the characters and that time well with the dialog.
Your ending made me want to cry. You show this couple's love very well.

SUGGESTIONS:
in para 2 is that supposed to be his chest or her chest?

KEEP WRITING,
hugs, Tammy
428
428
Review of The Tree  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
I enjoyed reading this.
I think you capture nature well with these thoughts.

Your story flows well and your descriptions are good.
Your first line is strong and makes the reader want to know more.

Suggestions/Errors:
You could add one more genre to this.
emotional or nature

You need a more creative title to go with this great read!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
429
429
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Your poem is full of descriptions and your imagery is good throughout.
I agree with your thoughts on nature and life.

Suggestions/Errors:
Overall, I'd work on the punctuation throughout in this.

Watch your use of commas, they can cause the read to be choppy.

You have a 1 ? and 1 ! but no other punctuation.
Maybe add some periods to end your thoughts.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
430
430
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

Great first line.
What an imagination!

Your descriptions are good throughout.
I like your thoughts on flying like the cathedral angels and the
plucking flower petals. All very creative.
Your ending is good.

Suggestions/Errors:
Watch your use of then..then this happened, then that happened etc;
Work on flowing from thought to thought/ event to event.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
431
431
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Wink*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.
What a letter, sounds like a great vacation.
I like the memories you share with your readers.

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
You share a little bit of the sight with us, I'd like to have 'saw' more.
I think it would enhance this item/letter if you had more descriptions on your surroundings to give your readers.

*Cool* Keep writing,

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432
432
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Wink*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Very neat idea for an In/Out.
Your humor is a little dark..I love it!
I enjoyed reading the entries, but couldn't think of one!
You set the scene well for this misfortune cookie.

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
You need a funny or a wicked cookie fortune image to add to the forum.

*Cool* Keep writing,

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433
433
Review of Childhood  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.
Your title fits well and your rating is good.

I like your thoughts on childhood and agree with some of them!
It's always good to let that inner child out.

I like your ending (the last 2 lines) the best.

Suggestions:
add some genres to this

I think you should capitalize I throughout.

Watch your use of filler words.
(the, and, that)
Watch your tenses.
You want to stay with the same one throughout.

ex;
I never knew that time will change,
I never thought that i had change
try;
I never knew time would change,
I never thought I would change

A few of your lines are awkward
ex;
Love for me now i disdained,
try;
Love for me now feels disdained,??

The moon for me has a big hare ;
try
The moon for me looked like a big hare;?


Keep writing!
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434
434
Review of Hopeful Wind  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.

I love your title.
Your rating and genres are good.
I like your line on choosing between cheers and tears.

Suggestions:
You repeat yourself in the first stanza.
ex;
And there is nothing, not a thing to fear...
And yet there is nothing here that is planned,
Plus you have mentioned that there is nothing in the preceding lines.
I'd work on expressing myself a little more...you use barren in the first line ...maybe use more synonyms and adjectives to describe the nothing that you are talking of.

I am a little confused with the second stanza, I'm not sure how the wind can change your loneliness.


Keep writing!
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435
435
Review of Enchantment  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Wink*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Flower2*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

Your poem is pretty and sweet as you describes feelings of a dreamy state.
I like your 1st line that shows a dance move/ what a creative way to show a leaf!

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
My main thing with this poem would be if you didn't have the intro I am not sure I'd know what you were talking about.
You might expand a little on your poem and show your readers the leaf and the dreaming. Hope that makes sense.
This is a great poem, it just needs a little clarification.


*Flower4*Keep writing. Always, Tammy
436
436
Review of Call me Africa  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.

Your title and rating are good.

I like the synonyms you choose for yourself.
Your repetition in this works well to get your point across.

Suggestions:
add some genres

In line 11 I think it would be a stronger statement if you cut you in this.

I think this poem would benefit from punctuation.

Keep writing!

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437
437
Review of Hope  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.
This is a very pretty and inspirational poem on hope.
This is a great way to describe the hope within each of us.
I like your line on the waterfall.

Suggestions:
add some genres

You need a more unique title for this.
Suggestions from your poem;
Graceful Hope
Waterfalls of Hope

Keep writing!
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438
438
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

I like your story. The plot is creative.
I like how you give obvious names for the river and the cafe.

SUGGESTIONS:
In the first line, I would make lighted~lit.

I'd space after the dialog, it is easier to read and follow.

When you are telling the guy about your band..it is hard to tell which parts you are saying to him and which part you are remembering.

Your ending is good with him realizing that his friend didn't die in vain, but it is also confusing the way you leave the Dream Cafe.

I think you have a great story that needs a little clean-up.

KEEP WRITING.
TAMMY

REVIEW ON BEHALF OF
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439
439
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.

Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can identify, I had a miscarriage in 2004. Your poem is full of love and pain. Your ending questions is very strong and one that we have to believe that things happen for a reason. I hope writing on this painful subject has helped some.

Suggestions:
You have parts of this capitalized that you do not need capitalized and you end each line with.... both are very distracting to the reader.

Keep writing!
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440
440
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
lol.
Thanks for the smile.
I picked this because many days I too feel like this!

You rating, title and genres are appropriate.

I love the humor you slide in to this poem as you tell of a very hectic day.

Suggestions:
Just watch your use of commas and periods after each line, sometimes they are not needed and make the read a little choppy.

a review for a review
Keep writing!
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441
441
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
Your rating and genres are good.
I picked this for the title, it is so pretty.

Your words express love and coming together as one in a very whimsical way.
I like your ending the best/ it is strong.

my favorite part:
'The rhythm of our own sweet song.
That tells of a love so fiercely strong.'

a review for a review
Keep writing!
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442
442
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Wink*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Flower2*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title and rating are appropriate.

Very creative way to look/describe fears through your dream/nightmare.

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Like a girl asking for
attention but to shy
to speak. Her heart
The first to should be too.

add some genres to this
personal, emotional, self-help or experience

*Flower4*Keep writing. Always, Tammy
443
443
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Your descriptions are good, especially of the scene in th saloon.

I enjoyed your story.
Great ending.

Suggestions/Errors:
At the end where you are tying your loose ends with the money/sheriff, you might briefly say why Sally was even around the saloon..you had mentioned her Dad wouldn't let her even enter it....

think she'd be very happy married to a lawman Someday she'll make me a good
You need a period after lawman.

In para 3 you last line;
Then I crossed the street.
I'd cut this line it is not needed.

You mention the saloon feeling unusaul... silent and brooding , but you push/charge in. I think as a deputy you might be a little more leery entering the saloon.

"THIRTY DOLLARS??
You have this in caps, I don't think you need it to be bold too.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
444
444
Review of To The Sea  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Wink*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating and title are appropriate.

You share your thoughts with us on another part of nature.
You capture the sea very well.

My favorite part;
'It's inconsistencies so familiar
It's tides, reefs, shores, so similar,
I long for the stability it brings'

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
add some genres
I don't like the - s you have in this, they are distracting for the readers.

*Cool* Keep writing,

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445
445
Review of The Storm  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Wink*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title and rating are good.

You capture a part of nature.
You show a storm (inside and out) very well.

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
You could add one more genre.
experience or emotional

this line reads choppy;
And I, compelled, can not turn away.
try
And compelled I can not turn away.

You have causes in the last 2 lines/ I think I would make it causing in the last line.

*Cool* Keep writing,

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446
446
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are good.

I enjoyed the twist your story takes.
I 've been on both ends of things like this.
It's human to err.

Suggestions/Errors:
add some genres to this

para 3 = First sentence you have 'as he always did' twice; I'd cut one of them.

Space after the dialog, it makes it easier for your readers to follow.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
447
447
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Love the title.
Your rating and genres are good.

I like your poem and have felt this many times.
Most of the time...
You show your insecurities to your readers.
Thanks for sharing.

Suggestions/Errors:
I'd remove all the areas of .... It's a little distracting for your readers.

Instead of having other as a genre, you could have personal.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
448
448
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
I like your title and the play on words with hume/whom.

I enjoyed your story.
Your humor comes through very well.
Your story flows well and I wasn't left with any questions.

Suggestions/Errors:
directly in the line off fire.
Is this supposed to be of?

"You do not have a girlfried. Your rifle is your girlfriend!"
You left out n in the first girlfriend.

gyppo
Is this a typo or a slang word??

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
449
449
Review of my T.V.  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
I like the concept of your poem and your thoughts about tv.
Your title fits well.

Suggestions/Errors:
You repeat yourself in a few spots.
I'd remove the repeats you have in here.

You do not need to have a comma after each line.
It can make for a choppy read.
I'd go back and edit this, remove some of the commas and either add some periods and other punctuation...or remove all the punctuation. Capitalize where it is needed.

With a little cleaning you could have a great poem.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
450
450
Review of On poetry  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are good.

I think we can all identify with this poem. Especially stanza 4.

Your thoughts/feelings on writing poetry or being stumped fit well.
Isn't it weird how everything can have 'meaning' when we are struggling with our muse.

Suggestions/Errors:
add some genres to your poem

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
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