The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I found your story while perusing the Comedy Genre page.
My first Impression:
What could possibly go wrong? Pregnant passenger, careless telegram operator? I don't know, but I sure wanted to find out!
Further Impressions:
Pamela is a caring American woman trying to get a train to meet her hubby who is serving in the Military, and is stationed in England. The train had only one available berth left and it was first class. She bought the ticket.
An elderly woman was next in line. She felt bad that the woman wouldn't get to her destination for the birth of her first grandchild. Pamela, being the big-hearted person she is gave away her ticket to the woman.
Conclusion:
Pamela, of course, neede to get a telegram to her husband about her later arrival.
I won't spoil the ending, but it's a doozy!
Amusing tale, great ending, laughs are there, of course.
I will be highlighting this item in the Comedy Newsletter, due out tomorrow.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our May's picture prompt contest!
Initial Thoughts:
You followed the rules.
You gave us a glimpse of what the child's thought took the photo prompt and brought the child to life with his thoughts of the chocolate covered strawberry. In fact he couldn't stop eating them! I wish there were more thoughts from the toddler. He only responds to the "dozen" comment.
Observation:
"Reggie seems pleased as he practice(practiced) his newly acquired sign for "more","
Parting Thoughts:
I notice you just made it in before the deadline. You may have had more opportunity to add to the story giving us even more thoughts through the eyes of the child. However, to your credit, you took the plunge and entered.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I'm also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our May, Photo Prompt month!
First Impressions:
Loved the brief description about Thomas coming to terms with the treat being offered. I knew you caught the expression in the photo and the rule about making us see what's happening through the eyes of the child.
Rules Followed ...
Further Impressions:
You brought Thomas to life for the reader. I loved the internal thoughts of the youngster. Kids do say the darnedest things and now we are privy to that!
The treats usually offered were not to the kid's liking and he already became a challenge to the parents trying to get him to eat something.
Loved this part:
"Well, maybe we'll circle back to the plums." I was reminded of someone seen on TV. Nothing like weaving something out of the headlines into your story.
I loved Thomas's replies. This kid believed he was in control.
Conclusion:
Thomas may have been a fussy snack chooser, but the kid also knew when to step down the stubbornness. Miss the chance to go to the zoo? He wasn't going to let that happen!
You did a lovely job of showing a reader how their feelings shouldn't be bottled up and ignored. If one remains silent, then who will know something is wrong? If one complains, are they pitied? I don't think so. I believe those who remain silent and don't allow a good friend to help unscramble the turbulence hidden within, are losing something extremely powerful to help them find the solutions.
Yes, quiet suffering might seem noble to some, but, expressing what's on one's mind, even if a bitterness being battled, surely will make both who share in its "secret silence" will be enriched in a way that makes both feel so much better.
I really like this and enjoyed reading it. It made me think on a philosophical level. That's a good exercise for the brain, too!
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item because I came across it while perusing writings in "One Writer's Favorites!" . I was pulled into reading this from your title and brief description.
I, too, have seen what storms can do to beautiful, mature trees. In my case it was an ice storm that wreaked havoc on some of my trees. However, none were Weeping Willows.
I have always wanted a huge willow tree on my land, but as you say, they do dig their roots deeply into drainage systems.
Your story, very much a prose-like writing, short, almost lyrical in nature because it talks about the nature of a majestic tree.
I loved how you describe its destruction and the feelings of sadness when it was down on the ground after the storm. Weeping for a Weeping Willow -- mourning its loss. Beautifully crafted to bring the personal tragedy of its loss to the reader.
I found no spots where there needed to be any repairs. Well written and actually, well-painted imagery sketched into the reader's mind. I saw that tree both standing proudly, and lying down on the ground, not salvageable.
My dear Sherri, I fell upon this poem via another writer's link. I couldn't resist saying a few words in honor of your mom's memory and yours.
This poem touched my heart and made me reflect on that sudden feeling of a daughter who lost her mother.
I give it 5 stars, because no one knows the feelings of the loss of a mother until they've experienced it, and it was one they loved so dearly.
I felt all of that reading your poem.
I remember how wonderful you were to me when my mother died, notes and card of sympathy sent to my home. You left us here a couple years later.
Thank you for the books you wrote that I have read.
It may seem odd to others, that I review a White Case, author, because she'll never see the review. But actually, I believe that you can see it too, and feel the spirit of love being sent right back to you.
I have reviewed your writings when you were here, but somehow missed this one. It is no longer missed, but you are, my friend.
You'll always be remembered, here!
Beautiful poem, with a spiritual touch of love after loss.
~Webbie
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing this item because it really fit in nicely with my WDc Newsletter. Thus, Your poem has been highlighted in this week's Comedy Newsletter. I'm a bit late in sending this notice, but thought you'd like to know.
This was a fun read, fine rhyme, quick and quirky with good humor!
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our April Poetry Month prompt!
First Impressions:
Love the title "Meditation" I knew you'd bring the reader down memory lane of springs forward and past and the times enjoyed or missed but always bringing back those memories.
You combine the nature with the images of the times of dancing in the rain.
Further Impressions:
You chose a Villanelle form of poetry.
I loved the smooth rhythm and rhyme.
I really loved the refrains used:
"bringing bygone visions into my sight."
"gossamer rainbows shimmer in the light."
Simply beautiful!
Other Favorite Parts:
arcane mystic droplets pull at my mind
forgotten sorrows and joys are entwined
Vague wisps of what was begin to rewind
All very well woven into the lines to bring the reader into the the life cycle which renewal is ever present after the winter's past. Love and loss, yet the promise of fresh beginnings come with spring. It's alive with nourishing rain, colors bursting forth ... all adding to make the memories sweeter rather than sorrowful.
Conclusion:
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our Poetry Month prompt in April.
First Impressions:
Love the title, it evokes thoughts of memories of people and times gone by. Your brief description shows the reader it is indeed a dual meaning of springs rebirth and remembrance of one who has passed on. It is the circle of life, and spring is always the time of rebirth.
Further Thoughts:
You chose a Villanelle form of poetry.
The rhythm and rhyme pattern is beautifully done. It paints vivid imagery that evokes both joy and sadness within its lines.
The joy of spring and the sounds and sites of the sea, as well as one of the refrain lines which is a reminder that there is a mourning as well. "in the mourning darkness heard, it is that night."
My Favorite Parts:
a godwit's peeps or the gull's shrill singing ...
so many gilded, silvered fish in the shallows finning
Remember to live life by faith and not by sight,
And of course the other alternating refrain: the clear clang of a bay's red buoy bright.
Conclusion:
Beautifully done! It brought both tears of hope and the misty eyes of sadness all at the same time.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our April Poetry Month prompt.
First Impressions:
"Springtime in the Tropics" It got me to thinking about how different April is in the tropics than so many other regions around the globe. It is of course that way where I reside half a year -- South Florida. It feels like summer in April.
Poetry Form:
You chose a sonnet. You have three quatrains and a couplet, 14 lines.
It has the magic of lyrics woven within.
Favorite Parts:
"Perhaps the deities sprinkled some magic
To please the gods with the grandest display"
"Of verdant plated prairies and meadows
Perfectly complements the azure sky.
These lines jumped out as true visual delights! Loved the azure sky.
Conclusion:
Well woven words to paint a beautiful scene of April in the tropics.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review.
First Impressions:
The image of the bridal gown and the title with brief description captured my curiosity.
The fact that it was listed under the Genre Horror/Scary really clinched it. I had to dive right in!
Further Impressions:
I loved the building up of the mystery surrounding his nightmares. His self-loathing and still, the attempt to convince himself he had done much more good in his life than what had transpired 35 years, prior.
I could feel his struggle and pain. Your descriptions pull the reader right into the scene.
Observations:
A few Grammatical errors needing attention.
“What a thin, flimsy things your love was, Sandra." "Thing" should be singular as used in this sentence.
"He made no considerable attempt (at)discretion; if a floorboard creaked, no one noticed."
"The shot crashed the stillness of the cottage, and on the wedding gown blood splatter bloomed like red, poison roses." Spatter, not "splatter" I've watched lots of Dexter.
"Turning off his bathroom light, he stepped back into the bedroom..."
Parting Thoughts:
This is a good horror story. It has great bones! It just needs some edit spots here and there to make the read smoother.
Conclusion:
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review.
First Impressions:
I felt like I was going down that dark tunnel of trying to shop when Covid 19 first hit. The idea of masks, disinfectant, six feet apart and up and down marked aisles in the grocery stores were surreal to say the least.
Further Impressions:
Amazon became my best friend for all things canned and with a long shelf life. Also, I ordered bulk paper goods -- still have some stored away, I believe. I see you opted for Target, there wasn't one close by in my very rural area.
Parting Thoughts:
I loved the realism you wove into your story. The cat needing to get those probiotics into the system, added to everything else to be dealt with, made this story come through brilliantly. Yes, meat is important if you enjoy cooking and having something to go along with the frozen veggies. The early a.m. time to get it made me too sleepy to imagine. I am night hawk, myself.
Conclusion:
Very nicely done! I saw no errors that jumped out at me. Probably because I was too focused on the intensity of the story.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review.
I loved the images you painted with your words in this poem. It exudes mischievousness as well as the innocence of a child.
Here, the child loves exploring the dark quiet city nights. The reader is not privy to the fact that the narrator is a child until the very end, but is intrigued with the rhythm of the poem and is pleasantly surprised.
Observation:
I peeked into each windowpane
as I passed by each house.
The repeated word within those two consecutive lines gave me pause. I think one can be easily removed without messing up the rhythm.
TRY:
I peeked in every windowpane
as I passed by each house
"Every" replacing the word "each" on the line above.
Just my observation. You may find a better way to reorganize the lines.
The ending is adorable and pulled the poem together neatly.
Well done!
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review
I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review.
Initial Impressions:
I love detective stories--wrote a few myself.
Matt Duggan is the detective in this series.
Further Observations:
Since this is a series of stories with this character, I have missed the first two. Random does mean exactly that ...random. I decided to read this third entry to get a taste what the series would be like.
There is a murder and he is the detective taking the first crime scene observations.
Observations:
The neglected hanger bay parking lot began to light up up like a hastily, unplanned Christmas event as one emergency and police vehicle after another, sirens blaring, lights flashing, dutifully followed the other onto the worn out asphalt next to the abandoned hanger.
"hanger" is what a person hangs shirts on. "Hangar" would be the appropriate word to use for abandoned airport hangar.
There were several mentions of this word so you'll want to read through it again to catch them all.
Also, Neglected/abandoned hangar, used in the same paragraph. One well-placed is sufficient. Thus, writing tighter and removing unnecessary words would be helpful for the smooth reading of this story. I mentioned those in particular, however, there were other spots that could use less repetitive words close together.
Parting Thoughts:
You lead the read into a crime scene and cleverly let the reader know that the excitement continues in the next part. Thankfully you dropped the link so a reader may continue forward in the series.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing this item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review!
I dare not comment from personal experience as to the diet debate put forth or offer any advice that could be construed as medical ...in fact I never read this story!
My Thoughts:
This was a fun an possibly educational story based on whatever science had offered in the article accompanying it. I have a high regard for the consumption of superfoods, however, and the title of course sucked me in, so to speak.
Parting Thoughts:
The ending was quite satisfying for someone I would think. May poor Greg make a full and fast recovery .
Conclusion:
I enjoyed this spicy adventure that gave us women Superfood for thought!
Hey, at least I didn't say this story sucks.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your ite because it popped up on the Random Read & Review.
This was such a humorous look into life from the eyes of a klutz. I say this because I have had the reputation for being one myself.
I loved the examples used to show a reader how the feet tend to not work in concert with the rest of the body when it wants to ambulate.
Observation:
I found a grammar error of two along the way. One particularly example jumped out at me.
"Amazingly, before I crashed to the last step, ( and risked far more than fresh bruises )
Commas should never be placed before parentheses.
Also, one form should be used on WDC for easier reading, two spaces entered between paragraphs rather than indent and spaces used. Some of the ends of sentences look a little orphaned that way.
Parting Thoughts:
This was a fun read and so close to true for so many of us fellow klutzes.
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at {item:981150} Thank you for entering our March Sci-Fi Prompt.
You did a great job following the prompt:
A canoe ride, ripples in the water, vortex and voila, time traveled to 1924.
You must do something heroic for your hosts before leaving
You must find a way back home to your time
You made this story your own and I could tell you had fun with it. I loved that you tried to sneak in a 1930's dance in the 20s! That put some humor into the story.
Observations:
"No time for that! Dial 911 and let me talk to them!" I said. He dialed and put me on. "There's a fire at the big white building by the lake..."
911 is not historically correct in this story's timeline. The first 911 call was made in 1968. However, Great Britain had their 999 emergency number in use in 1937. (Wonderopolis)
I know this was Sci-Fi, but, Charleston is in South Carolina not North Carolina.
Perhaps you meant Charlotte NC?
Conclusion:
The story was interesting and succinct. No wasting words to fill a page. Yet, the reader knew exactly what was happening.
Loved the Charleston SC firefighter who heroically saved the day when the fire started in the dance hall.
His trusty canoe brought him home again when he caught a returning vortex.
It was fun, and, except for the couple observations mentioned above, very well done!
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our Cupid Slam poetry contest in February.
As you may well know, the purpose of the Slam is to rip that Cupid a new one! I think you have done it in a a very succinct manner.
Hey, no need to mince words -- get that dastardly creature and let him know what's what!
The other objective to this contest is to earn the coveted 1-star, review!
Now, I do really hate to bring down an overall great rating of a book/blog with a one-star. But, you asked for it when entering the contest. Hmmm, should I do this to you? It's such a dilemma. However, once the contest ends, you could ask us nicely to remove our terribly low rating, I suppose.
I mean it's difficult to ignore the classic lines,"Is you is, or is you ain't gonna be my loving mate,"
So, I'm going to go with the intended purpose of the contest -- get that one-star! You know where to find me if you need a future retraction.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall, January Prompt, "January Clearance."
This, I must say, is quite the unique use of the clutter prompt. You are right of course, our minds are filled with messages bombarding them day after day with spam and various ads.
Good way to do a switch-up with your poem.
Clutter is clutter and has to be dealt with. Unfortunately, with our brains it's a little more difficult to get additional storage space out of the already filled-up thought process.
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!
I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" Thank you for entering our January Clearance Prompt.
Initial Thoughts:
Loved the fact that the story started off with a room remodeling. Boy, do I understand the labor that goes into that. Mostly, what will stay and what will go. I did a couple rooms up North, and will continue on when I get back in the spring. New paint does make other collections appear out of place.
Further Impressions:
I use the attic -- a lot! Out of sight, out of mind. However, I got to the point where you are in this story. Can't hang on to stuff forever. Find a good home for them or dump them and move on.
Observations:
"So, I dutifully empty the wall of one room of all picturesthen the top of a bookcase of all knicky-knacky stuff."
"some other fun stuff. I empty the wall of all pictures that were there. At least ten really interesting pictures were all over this large wall. Special items, fun items."
Repetitive words: walls, items, stuff, pictures. Could probably tighten up that portion and delete the repeats.
Parting Thoughts:
This was a fun read. It really hit home in my home. I enjoyed the whole horizontal surface comments. Hey, horizontal surfaces beg to be adorned with ... stuff!
Conclusion:
You followed the rules, did justice to the prompt -- and I believe got a wonderful new-old room plus the transom windows. It's all good!
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