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151
151
Review of Contest Entries  
for entry "The Handful of Dust" 
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Angelica- Happy May 5th!
This is a bitem:army:review} *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our October, Something Horror quote, contest! *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

You chose the quote, "Prompt: 3) I will show you fear in a handful of dust." T. S. Eliot

The beginning pulls the reader into the story due to the anxiety and fear of Milly.

Further Impressions:

Milly claims she's fearless, and dust is not something she's willing to begin fearing. However, Mike insists the dust will cause her great fear.

Observations:

"Just watch the just please," Mike said with a sigh. Just watch the dust please.

Also, I think this story has some potential in the horror genre if the reader were able to feel the terror. It was difficult to relate to the characters. I believe more developing of the story's plot, scene, characters, location would have pulled the reader in right to the end.

Conclusion:

A story of fear with great potential. It just needed a bit more meat on the dusty bones. *Skull*

Until next time, write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
152
152
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our Something Horror Quotation Contest in October. *Bigsmile*

First Impression:

This is a well-constructed poem. *Swords*
interpreting the prompt: 1) O, how vain and vile a passion is this fear! What base, uncomely things it makes men do.
- Samuel Johnson

Further Impressions:

Loved this: "Fear compels action,
rather than contemplation;

Very strong opening lines for setting up fear in the poetry. It pulls the readers in, compelling them to read on.


Great word choices at the ending:
"like a rogue wave"

"Demanding its due and
Beating into submission."

Observations:

Were the Rules Followed?

1)The prompt: "Give us your best Horror/Scary/Bone-Chiller-Thriller Story all derived from one of these famous quotes:" You chose number 1, the Samuel Johnson quote

Quote was interpreted within the lines of your poem very nicely. *CheckG*

2) "Rules: Short Story based on 1 of the above quotes." Here's where you veer off the rules. As much as your poem is excellently penned, it is not a "short story" as per the rules. *Sob*


Parting Thoughts:

*NoteR* I had to change the rating on your item due to the violent content of the line "Beating into submission"

I did enjoy reading your poem. It is filled with the tension of fear that makes the quote pop out to the reader. *Grave*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
153
153
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Angelica- Happy May 5th!
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our annual Cop Shop Mystery in September. *Police*

The Prompt:

Your job was to solve the mystery set out in the prompt's scenario.
The mystery solving had to be accomplished in exactly 22 sentences. *BoxCheckB*


My Observations:

Upon reading the story, it appears to be a double homicide has developed.
First,

Nancy Pringle bled to death due to a trap set up under the table by Little Robby. I feel badly about poor Nancy, but I guess she got in the way. *Cry*

Secondly, Chef Cawpa, Robby's dad, was killed. You gave a motive for that murder, so that answers the Who, and Why he was killed.

Hey, I don't mind if another character is pulled into the scenario to bring about the natural progression of the mystery to the conclusion.*PoliceCar*

Observation:

It seemed that the Chef was killed before the actually party?
There was nothing about him being found under the banquet serving table where Nancy lost her footing and fell close to the body. She seemed to be alive up to that point. Thus, her bleeding to death before the Chef's body was discovered is a little confusing.

However, the Suggestions do say to make it, fun and make it your own to solve. *BadgePolice*

Parting Thoughts:

That Robby did in fact kill his own father, the chef, due to jealousy. Poor Nancy got in the way of the trap with sharp objects. That's still a homicide, setting a trap that resulted in the death of Nancy Pringle. Yup, a double homicide not seen before in The Cop Shop Mystery scene solving. *Police*

Conclusion:

You have proved to yourself that a mystery can be solved in exactly 22 sentences! I hope to see you back next year when you get one extra sentence to solve the mystery. *Ha*

Nicely done! *SwordR*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
154
154
Review of Who Dunnit?  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our annual Cop Shop Mystery in September. *PoliceCar*

First Impressions:

Very interesting deduction of the crime involved. I like that there was a bit of the game "Clue" woven within. Indeed, there was no Colonel Mustard. *Laugh*

Solving the Crime:

You chose poison as the cause of death. *BoxCheckB*

Rules Followed?

Your job was to write a story to solve the mystery of the scenario written in the prompt in exactly 22 sentences.

You did indeed solve the mystery.
The Mayor is the culprit
The reason, a recipe exchange with Mrs. Mayor which really angered the mayor! *Ha*


Write a Story? *Thinker*

As much as your poem told the story, it was technically a "story." It was under the Poem Genre, as well. You solved the mystery in 22 lines. Splendidly crafted, by the way. *Bigsmile*

Conclusion:

This was an excellent attempt to solve a difficult crimes in exactly 22 sentences. You indeed solved the mystery in exactly 22 lines. Kudos! *Police*

Good job! *BadgePolice*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
155
155
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, StephBee - GOT Survivor my soul sister! *HeartO**HeartT**HeartG*

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because I was tagged in it earlier this month when all the birthday festivities started. The month seemed to keep me busy, but I kept this little gem on my top to-do list of open-tabs. *Ha*

What Pulled me in: (Other than being tagged, that is.)
My curiosity from your brief description. Good way to hook this reader. *Bigsmile*

What kept me reading on:

I loved the way your described the years of learning, fun and sheer joy at WDC. Your gratitude really shines through as you point out who and why you came to accomplish so much with your novel writing and being published. I swear, with your schedule, I have no idea how you managed to find the time. I have read your writing and enjoyed it very much. My Kindle holds a few of your books. My first read was the Wolf's Torment. Oh, my, I loved that book!

What made me blush:

Seriously? I'm a Soul sister, amazing, imaginative, full of energy, to name a few pats on my back from you?!! *Right**Blush**Left*Thanks for that, by the way. I have also been so fortunate to be your partner at The Bard's Hall. It's been such a fun and unique group to be a part of. 17 years!!! It's older than I am in WDC years. What a marvelous creation you have started so many years ago. And that was before I got here to help you with it. *Angelic*

Parting Thoughts:

Yes, SM & SMs have been brilliant in developing this home away from home for us. They are amazing in all they do to make it a beloved spot for creative people ... the best ever actually, where we have found developed friendship bonds and have learned so much from helpful members, groups and activities, to help us grow as writers. Can't give enough kudos for all they've done.

Great tribute to a great site!

Until next time--gush-on! *Laugh* Okay, okay, just kidding...Write on! *Angelic*

Now, let's discuss next month's prompt ... *Witch*



This is one of my new sigs








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
156
156
Review of A mother’s love  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there Sumojo
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the random Read & Review. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

I was drawn to the title and brief description. It made me curious enough to plunge right in.

Further Thoughts:

Being a mother of five and four of the five are daughters, I could feel the strong emotions you wrote about.

Daughters do have their moments. More than one daughter, it may become a competition. It seems that your daughter felt that since she was the second born girl, perhaps she didn't fit into the family unity as much as the older daughter. Also, one of the twins is a son, therefore, he's the first boy, and gets that attention.

We can only ponder about the ways one child needs more attention than another child. I think you are correct about her insecurities and that she needed to be the squeaky wheel, which she knew would get attention.

Quick Observation:

There are a couple spots with formatting issues. It breaks up the easy flow of reading. Nothing major. But otherwise, no huge grammar issues that I could spot. *Wink*


Additional Thoughts:

Mothers take on all the burdens of a child who doesn't quite get on track in life. We can't of course take on all the responsibility. Once your daughter was grown, she was an adult who could share her love with her children. Forge her own way through life with her husband and children, but still chose to cling to a part of her she could never find.

Parting Thoughts:

No matter how often our children may slip, we are mothers. We are there for them. However as you so succinctly put it, the words "I love you" melt away so much angst.

Also, it's true. Mothers can't be here forever picking up the pieces of failed choices in life. One can only pray their child finds the way out of self-inflicted misery. Your story sounds so closely related to a woman who was a dear family friend. Her daughter went down a very similar path in life.

Finally, she pulled out of the bad habits, the rehab issues, and did get back to a responsible, loving daughter who was with her mother until she passed a few years back. I'll miss that woman, but, I see her daughter has remained strong and positive in life.

*Butterfly2T* Thank you for sharing this story. I assume since it's under the sub-genre "biographical" it is based on a life experience. I love the refrain at the start and conclusion of the story. No better way to write a story of a mother's love than that.

Very touching story. You've done a great job describing the difficult subject matter of dealing with a troubled child. *HeartB*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
157
157
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch




Hello Dr M C Gupta
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your poem because it popped up on the random Read & Review. *Smile*

Opening Thoughts:

The title and brief description let the readers know this is a sonnet about faith.

Further Thoughts:

I love the sonnet form, its lyrical quality and majestic flow. The story it holds here is one of deep reflection of life lived and the afterlife.

I love that it is about continuing being in the service of the Lord. Probably a thought that doesn't cross many folk's minds. Some believe to die is the end and they no longer have any jobs to do in their spiritual state. The state of the soul.

Parting Thoughts:

The poem is eloquently written and contains a very strong message about faith and looking beyond this mortal life we share as earthly human beings.

Further, the beauty of this piece is at the end, when a humble servant of the Lord asks what more can be done in His name. I'm so happy this item popped up for me to read tonight. It made me ever so thankful seeing its words and to always know who it is we serve for eternity.

Conclusion:

I found this poem to uplifting, inspirational and simply beautiful in its message.

Beautiful! *Pray*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
158
158
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, SandraLynn Team Florent!
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing this item because I seemed to have been tagged. Yes, that's right, tag, I'm it! *Angelic*

What a lovely poem you wrote about some members of the site--including me, I must say. I am but a humble witch here on WDC, but I love recognition. *Bigsmile*

Suggestions:

I suggest any genre that has me in it, isn't labeled "nonsense." I think I bring a lot of sense to, well, everything witchy! *Rolling*

Great rhyme and a telling story lies within your lines.


I enjoyed it. And, I'm so thrilled you added me to your poem ... or is it nonsense? *Think*

*Laugh**Laugh*

Thanks so much!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
159
159
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch




Hello there, WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our August, Create a cNote Shop, contest! *Bigsmile*

Initial Impressions:

It seems you didn't quite complete the cNote shop under one ite, but rather, spread a couple cNotes under headers in your portfolio. That makes it very difficult to follow and review. Since a full shop may contain up to 10 cNotes, with a variety of topics for greetings, the notes could have all been placed in one shop.

Further Thoughts:

I have to say, I did visit each "shop" and saw a beautiful collection of notes and lovely sentiments to go along with them. I go back to my earlier statement, I wish they were all in one shop. *Sob*

Suggestions:

The contest is over, thus, I suggest adding eight more notes already stored in your portfolio, and placing them all in one shop. You will have more traffic to your shop when it's easier to navigate for a particular greetings they may be looking to buy and send to a member.

This is just a suggestion, but you have talent that should be shown off in a full shop.

Conclusion:

I loved the notes I saw. The first ones in this review are simply beautiful in their tone on tone simplicity. I just love the leaf with water droplets and the lake's reflections of the hills and trees. Elegant!

Thank you for entering the contest. I hope to see your shop filled up with more notes to enjoy.

Until next time--create on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*
160
160
Review of C-notes!  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, PiriPica
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our cNote contest month in August. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

I see great potential in the shop, and hope you continue to add to it.

Suggestions:

I think you would catch more cNote shoppers if you put a cover on the page. You could use one of the cNote. The Bubble bee is adorable, or any of the others.

Also, the first note would probably read better with a different font other than Impact. Just my personal observation. Impact if used a lot in a mall area takes over the sentiment and becomes the importance of its font. However, the words are too beautiful to be stuck in a heavy font, weighing it down. That of course can be edited when the judging is over, if you wish. *Smile*

Further Thoughts:

I really wish you had added more notes to the shop for better judging. You were on the right tract with the ones you posted.
Notes on friendship and encouragement. Lovely images and beautiful sentiments enclosed with them.

You only have three notes in your shop. You know you can have up to ten in one shop. *Bigsmile*


My Favorite Things:

This one is my favorite:

"Let's not see the season wane
Let's see the new days shine
They lie in front of us like promises
Let's give them our best try"

The autumn leaf, all dried as one season passed. The dandelion absolutely popped right out of that image to show the hope that is spring, and new life beginning. Beautiful!

Also, I love the bee! It has a sense of whimsy that just brings the not to life! *Bee*

Parting Thoughts:

This shop is a work in progress, but it has so much potential. I suggest adding a few more notes, at least. And, as stated above, put a cover image in your shop and on the item's description-part.


Thanks again for entering the contest. You have some fine cNote talent!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*
161
161
Review of Love Letter  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, THANKFUL SONALI Now What?
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I'm also reviewing this because somehow I got trapped into a love romance as one of the sage advisors on the subject. *Smirk*

First Impressions:

Why me? Oh, because I always stick-in my two cents about stuff, and now I am beckoned to the romance letter part of the review of the item.

Further Impressions:

Please don't use the word "besotted." It sounds too much like biscotti, and makes me want one as well as a cup of coffee to dip it into. Not my fault.

Parting Thoughts:

This is a well-written, flash fiction that relates to little convos we've just had at Lilli's.

I found no spots that need edit attention.

Conclusion?

Yeah, I do like the conclusion. I hope my advice about romance being costly is taken seriously, because it's true! *Laugh*

Now, I shall wait for the dust to settle. And not that fairy dust stuff, either. I do have allergies! *Ha*


This was a fun read, Sonali! *GemY*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
162
162
Review of The Chase  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, A.C. Julie
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review. *Bigsmile* Welcome to WDC. *PenB*

Initial Impressions:

I love the way you set the reader up. I'm all prepared for a day at the beach. *Beach*


Further Thoughts:

Okay, now you start sending chills through the reader's spine. A chase scene, the beach, all that water and sand. One awaits the conclusion of this disturbing scenario.

It was indeed a very short piece. Perhaps a little more tugging the reader along? Nah, I think there are times where short is sweet.

Parting Thoughts:

I so enjoyed the ending. I could almost hear a child's giggle.

Conclusion:

Very well-played out scenario with a surprise ending.

Good job! *TeaO*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
163
163
Review of Teriyaki Kabobs  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello Sum1
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering July's BBQ Recipe, contest! *Bigsmile*


Initial Thoughts:

Great Hook with the title and brief description.
Excellent giving Mom-in-law kudos for giving you this wonderful recipe. I love that it originated with her Hawaiian friend. Authenticity is a nice touch, and makes me want to try out this recipe. *Hungry*

Additional Thoughts:

Introduction was awesome. You give your readers a brief history of the when you tried out the recipe and how it was a huge success. If people ask you to make a recipe and bring it to another event, you know it's got to be good.


The ingredients were listed. Also, some variance is made possible as to how much sweetness to saltiness, according to one's taste. I cook a lot by instinct and balancing flavors, so I understood this perfectly.

Conclusion was stated at the end of the recipe as per rules. *CheckG*

Parting Thoughts:

This recipe looks so tasty! I'm going to try it out. *Sshh*

I like the Hawaiian influence. *InLove*


Until next time--write on and Grill on! *Fire*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
164
164
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch




Hello there Improxablity
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am reviewing your item because it caught my attention while I was perusing the Comedy Genre page.


Initial Thoughts:

Your title and brief description made me want to read about a plot-pitching dentist. *Laugh*

Further Thoughts:

I got a chuckle out of the poor patient being a captive audience to the dentist's ideas for a screen play. He couldn't talk with a hand and instruments in his mouth.

Parting Thoughts:

I laughed at the end of the story when I found out who the patient was. Evidently that dentist had reached him. Oh, my, to think the dentist didn't get any credit for the top grossing movies in their time. *Laugh*

Conclusion:

I found this story amusing and it fits within the subject matter of my upcoming Comedy Newsletter, due to be out Wednesday. Thus, your item will be highlighted. *Ha*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
165
165
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there Magoo
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am reviewing your item because I found it while perusing the comedy genre page.

First Impression:

It's a curious description that just calls a reader into the poem.

Further Impressions:

When the dentist can't fix the problem with a tooth, trouble is forthcoming!

Your poem had great rhythm and rhyme, and beyond the technical stuff -- it had good humor. Now you see, that's what I was looking for!

Parting Thoughts:

Loved the ending! That Leprechaun took the bait, and problem solved! It's a good idea to brush up on the Irish folklore. A golden opportunity, I'd say!

Conclusion:

Your poem will fit fine with this week's upcoming Comedy Newsletter. It's about going to the dentist office. *Ha*

Thus, I am highlighting your poem. The newsletter is due out on Wednesday.

Have a wonderful day, and write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
166
166
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hi there, THANKFUL SONALI Now What? *Wave*

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I found your item while perusing the comedy genre and looking for dentist related topics. Yours filled that curiosity splendidly. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

The story of taking 25 kids on a "field trip" to the dentist hospital in order to actually have them participate as dental patients, had me sitting on the edge of my chair.

I have been a volunteer multiple times when my kids were young, going on these field trips with a classroom full of youngsters. It mostly uneventful in the way that none of the kids were going to be anywhere near a place where a vampire may go to get his teeth sharpened. So, I guess it was a relatively easy job for me. *Ha*

Nice job bringing in a character who has the immediate ability to calm children down with her jolliness!

Observation:

"he proceeded to tell them of the torture instruments the dentists themselves would force in to their mouths." [into their mouths]


Parting Thoughts:

I have to give Ernie credit. Driving a busload of 6-year-olds deserves a medal of patience! He was really great at keeping his nerves steady and blocking out most of the uprising on the bus while keeping the bus safely on the road. Kudos, Ernie! *Ha*

Conclusion:

Your story was an amusing read and relevant to my next week's Comedy Newsletter, thus will be highlighted there! *Bigsmile*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
167
167
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello there Christopher Roy Denton

I am ԜԜ On The Road Again! reviewing your story as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support


Thank you for entering the contest!



Initial Impressions:

The "DIY" part of the title brought my mind to the Hobby-Craft" Genre part of the prompt for June. Adding Romance to the brief description, let me know that there would be some twisted spin above and beyond nail bagging! *Ha*


The Characters:

Deborah, the divorcee seeking the right man to marry, while hiding her considerable financial worth.

Chad, is quite the interesting do-it-yourself person. Not only does he build and renovate his mansion, he has quite the IQ for several professions. Plus he has a charitable

Further Thoughts:

I enjoyed the weaving of humor within this awkward hopeful romance between the two. Deb, the more organized of the two, searched for answers to why Chad let the house fall into disrepair. While Chad had an answer for everything. He was so nonchalant about the jobs he undertook as well as the accomplishments. He was a Jack of all trades, including a software engineer. (And so much more! What a catch for Deb.)

Observation:

"written gambolling algorithms or online casinos"

Gambling is the word I believe you meant to use, whether American or British English.

*Right* Oxford Dictionary, Gambolling definition: "to skip or jump about in a playful manner; frolic"


Parting Thoughts:

Loved the quirkiness of this story, it's mixture of humor and seriousness rolled up together. You made him quite the DIY person who takes each project he attempts, seriously.


Conclusion:

Loved the ending. In all all seriousness, they guy does like to have fun. That's a plus in the dating department. But, is it Deb's idea of fun? *Laugh*, His riches are what they are, but he is who he is, a hopeless Do-it-yourselfer. *thumbsupg*

Well done, fun and twisted read! *Tools2*



Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch

This is a "The WDC Angel Army"  Review! *Angelic*

Angel&Witch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
168
168
Review of The Collector  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there Sumojo

I am ԜԜ On The Road Again! reviewing your story as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support


Thank you for entering the contest!



Initial Impressions:

Your title tells the reader what to expect as they proceed delving into the story. Plus, as one who has been a collector myself over the years, it piqued my interest. *Bigsmile*

Further Impressions:

Edith is quite a dedicated collector of all things Royalty. She's so dedicated that it overrode her devotion to her husband.

The extent of her "hobby" permeated her family life with her children, somehow planned to be born at the time Queen Elizabeth's children. Coincidentally 3 boys and a girl born in the same order as Her Highness. Naturally they were named, Charles, Anne, Andrew and Edward.


Parting Thoughts/Suggestions:

Prompt was well-used as a collector is a hobbyist.

The character development could use a little more delving into.

*QuestionG* What possessed Edith to be so obsessed?

*QuestionY* Did it begin when she was a child because her mother might have been starstruck by the lives of Royals?

Just a little backstory to get the reader ready for Edith's grand entrance of collections.

Other areas could be trimmed a bit to allow for us to get to know Edith before she turned into a crazed fan, so-to-speak. I say "crazed" because she didn't care how much her family suffered embarrassment and worry due to her actions.


Conclusion:

All in all, a great use of the prompt and a satisfying ending. Edith definitely needed some elderly home care. *Laugh*

As stated above a paragraph, several lines, to develop Edith more as an introduction may have been good. I know the intent was to get as much of the collection obsession across to us readers. I believe you have done that handily. *CheckP*

Amusing story!



Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch



Angel&Witch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
169
169
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello there PureSciFiPlus

I am ԜԜ On The Road Again! reviewing your story as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support


Thank you for entering the contest!




First Impressions:

Title and the brief description let a reader know this story's theme is the craft/hobby of writing. I guess we writers can all agree with that as one of our favorite hobbies. *Smile*

Further Thoughts:

While reading through the story, I almost thought that the true hobby in this story seems to be moving. There was a whole lot of descriptions of two weeks worth of moving from the old place to the new place, and just a mere mention of writing or attempting to write.

One could suppose the art of writing is not easy to write about. It's the writing that makes it our craft, our hobby.

Further Observations:

This story is about trying to write each day amidst a labor intensive move from the old home to the new one. Writing is naturally interrupted, thus the hobby is placed on the back burner.

Observations:

"After Patrick James backs up to the opening garage, he and Douglas get out and goes go into their old place."

"Too tired after moving to the new house to get any writing done yesterday, thinks Douglas as he fights to keep his eyes open while Patrick drives them back to their old place." Awkwardly stated. This could be simplified.

"After getting everything, (no comma needed here)we wanted to get on the truck and in my SUV into the garage we started loading them up."

Further Observations & Suggestions:

There is a tendency to use a passive voice throughout the story. It doesn't capture the reader's attention as well as if you used an active voice.

Active voice in an of itself helps keep the story tighter. You don't want to get bogged down in word-heavy paragraphs when a few well-placed word choices would do the trick.


Further down in the story, they decide with only a couple days left to relinquish the premises, they decided to rent a U-Haul. Why not do that from the start? And, if that were the case, why were movers involved? Why use the SUV for a couple trips a day back and forth when either the movers or the rental of a U-Haul truck could have made it in one or two trips?


Parting Thoughts:

I found the flow of the story a bit difficult to follow. It appears in the early part of the story they were waiting for movers. Then, they are suddenly traveling back and forth from old place to new with their belongings in an SUV. If there were movers involved, why would they need to be moving so much stuff on their own? I started to thing that moving stuff was the real hobby. *Worry*

Curious, indeed as to how much stuff they had to move? It wasn't a whole family, just two guys. But perhaps I missed something along the way. The point is, I shouldn't have to wonder. You are the writer, you are the one who can make us readers see what you see in your mind as you wrote your story.

I think there's a little room for improvement here, and it begins with using an active voice and not getting hung-up in emphasizing that which prevented the writer from getting to his writing, but by actually describing a certain story being worked on, and showing irritation due to the hours of moving and traveling required.

Make the writing the predominant subject matter of the story by actually starting a few lines of whatever Douglas was writing during the time. Then show the need to do more packing and moving. Spending so much time on the road in the rain takes away from the heart of the story. Return Douglas back to the keyboard during a break typing out a couple more lines, etc. I think that would pull a reader, especially one who is a writer, right into the mind of Douglas. We would have a clearer image of this character.

Conclusion:

You had a good spin on the Hobby/Craft genre by trying to place a love for writing within the real world of everyday duties that tend to get in the way of such a beloved hobby.

Thank you again for entering the contest. You are being the writer you were hoping Douglas would be in the story. It was not one of the easiest prompts to write about. At least you made an attempt. Kudos! *PenB*




Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch


This is an "The WDC Angel Army"  Review! *Angelic*

Angel&Witch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
170
170
Review of Blue Crayon  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
zeHello there

I am ԜԜ On The Road Again! reviewing your story as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support


Thank you for entering the contest!



Initial Thoughts:

Your title and brief description grab the reader's attention. You make it an inviting hook to read the story. *Hook*

Further Impressions:

I love how you weave something spiritual and magical into this story. The blue crayon appeared to be one of the most used and needed in . The young lady so enjoyed sketching as a hobby, but received offers by folks who wanted her to sketch their portraits. *Painting*

The crayons took on a life of their own, whereby she couldn't sketch what was in her mind for that person's portrait she was doing. Somehow, it was a resemblance to the person, but also had a different something that couldn't be explained, until Grandma set her straight on art and money and love.

Parting Thoughts:

It's a wonderful lesson for the young artist. You can't put a price tag on love. *Crayons*

I couldn't find any errors that jumped out at me. The story flowed smoothly along keeping the reader's interest right to the end. The ending was heartwarming, indeed.

You did a fine job with the Hobby/Craft genre prompt. *ThumbsUpGreen*


Conclusion:

Beautifully, done! *PaintBrush*




Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch



Angel&Witch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
171
171
Review of The Boat  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello there Graham B.

I am ԜԜ On The Road Again! reviewing your story as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support


Thank you for entering the contest!



Initial Thoughts:

Love "Secrets" good way to hook a reader into the story in your brief description. I like that there is going to be a mystery to solve. *ThumbsUpGreen*

Further Impressions:

Charlie (aka Charlene) was the sheriff in the community in charge of taking inventory of the the deceased premises for probate court. Wilhelm crafted a beautiful boat , but there was no family to give it to.

The sheriff finds initials (M.G.) carved into the boat and tries to find who was that important to Wilhelm that could be the person to inherit the boat.

The town gossip lady Daphne Payne spoke to Charlie sending him over to Merritt Garner's house due to their "history" because Mimi, Merritt's wife was a known hussy and must have worked her charms on Wilhelm. *Shock2*

Additional Observations:

This story covers hobby, boat building for one. The neighbor played the violin. Music and craftsmanship. Hits the Hobby/Craft Genre in the prompt. *Thumbsup*

There's also a couple sun-stories going on as well. Someone was in a relationship with Wilhelm, and that was about to be unfolded.

Also, the sheriff's husband was pushing Charlie to sign divorce papers so he can be with the woman he loves and their son likes her as a future step mom.

Parting Thoughts:

Charlie signed the divorce papers in the sheriff's car. I felt like she came to grips with the ending of the marriage and was ready to move on.

The ending wrapped up quickly as the reader finds out the M.G. initials weren't Mimi Garnier's.

The ending was a bittersweet memorial with the boat being released in the lake.


Conclusion:


Nice job with the prompt. The story could have been tightened up a bit since there were a couple subplots taking place. It's difficult to give a history of the characters and have a mystery unfolding in a limited word count such as this.

You did manage to get the point of the story across to the reader, though, enough to fill in the blanks. *CheckG*




Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch



Angel&Witch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
172
172
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, jackson
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I came across this amusing story while perusing the Comedy Genre pages. *Ha*

First Impressions:

Loved the title and brief description. Good way to tempt a reader to plunge into the story. Curiosity is just that powerful and urge.

Further Thoughts:

I so enjoyed this story written in the colloquial dialect of the area. It painted vivid images in my mind's eye. It was difficult not put a face on the grandma and the almost white cat. *Laugh*

Good way to connect with the readers and pull them into the story as if they are right there.

Parting Thoughts:

This was such a humorous story, rich in detail and imagery. That poor cat! *Laugh* The description of a baptism by tobacco spit really hits the funny bone. Being a comedy lover, you hit all the things I look for as a classic tale twisted around comedic moments that just kept flowing on.

Conclusion:

Your story is classic, it made me laugh ... Therefore, I am highlighting this in this week's WDC Comedy Newsletter, due out tomorrow. Hope you subscribe to the Comedy Newsletter so it shows up in your email.

Until next time--write on, laugh on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
173
173
for entry "Pivotal" 
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Stik *Wave*
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the June Blogging/Journaling contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

This is what I'd call more on the journal side of the blog/journal contest.

Further Thoughts:

You chose writing a journal based on fictional characters. You brought each one to life so the reader could picture them. *Cool*

Characters were developed, it felt as if I met them as I came to learn more about them with each entry.

Each entry read like a chapter in their lives. They were inviting the reader to see what would happen next. The pacing of the entries were smooth, easy reads.

Conclusion:

You paid attention to detail. The characters seemed to write their own story with how each had a certain need, hopes and dreams they were beginning to explore. You made the fiction more real as a reader nears the end of the blog.


Job well done! *ThumbsUpGreen*

Thanks again for entering and keeping us entertained. Hope to see you again in June 2023!

Until next time--blog on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
174
174
Review of On The Write Path  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello Kåre Enga in Montana
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your blog as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the June blogging contest, *Bigsmile*

Qualities I enjoy:

It's a glimpse into one's life
Holds interest with subject matter discussed
Mixture of Real life OR all real life -- Not completely fiction
Eye appeal, relevant photos or videos, etc.

Your entries were very in tune with those qualities. *BoxCheckB*

Subject Matter:

You give a reader a fine account of traveling in Portugal, and where to stay and the costs that could be estimated.

People:

You introduce us to the people you have stayed with, met on tour, and visited their establishments. It's as if we have met those folks in person.


Real Life Events:

Bingo! Loved the touring and the sharing of both good times and difficult times due to illness.

Imagery!

I enjoyed the images you included within the blog.


Conclusion:

Well done and quite informative!

Until next time--blog on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
175
175
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Thank you for entering
FORUM
The Bard's Hall Contest  (13+)
MAY Villanelle
#981150 by StephBee - GOT Survivor
Blogging contest in June!

Your entries are filled with beautiful poetry and a peek into learning more about you, your likes and dislikes, loves and losses ... life in general with all of its ups and downs.

I enjoyed your additions of music videos, and the inspiration you have received from certain artists. I've got to tell you ... Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance, lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence.

It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

I have really enjoyed getting to know you better through your blog. Thank you so much for sharing part of your life with us.

Until next time--blog on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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